Name: 酸度爆表！PineApple iPhone X 發布會 (iPhone X by Pineapple | Rudy Mancuso)
Uploaded: 2018-02-25T21:59:57.000Z
Duration: 3 min 48 s
Description: 這次的主編精選是 小 V 很欣賞的網路紅人 Rudy Mancuso 所拍的，他是義裔美國人和巴西混血，影片風格都充滿了他原本的文化背景，很常可以看到他反諷一些種族歧視。這次他整個砲火狂酸 Apple ，話不多說趕快來看看！ 1side chick 0:06 side chick 的意思是「影響他人感情的情婦」，也就是俗稱的「小三」。...

Who... who pretend they're doing stuff for the camera.

The world is ready for the next really expensive product.

這個世界已經準備好迎接下一個非常貴的產品

Hi, my name is Steve Trabajo, founder and CEO of Pineapple.

HI 我是鳳梨的創辦人和CEO，Steve Trabajo

It's just a, it's a little crappier, or it's a lot, it's a lot crappier you know, thank you very much.

只是有一點糟糕，或是更糟，謝謝

We're very excited to announce our new product that you definitely don't need,

我們非常高興能夠宣布一個你絕對用不到的新產品

It's amazing ... it's... it's ... I'm about to blow your mind of how crazy

它非常棒.....我將要讓你知道它有多瘋狂

... great ... it's gonna ... everybody's gonna have good time.

...太棒了..這將.....每個人將會有很好的時光

Let's talk about the new features. Thank you very much.

讓我們討論一下它的特色，謝謝

Let's talk about the new features. Pineapple wireless headphones. Our scientists are working extremely hard

讓我們來討論新的特色，鳳梨無線耳機，我們的科學家非常努力研究

Using state-of-the-art technology to develop wireless headphones.

They're like the Apple wireless headphones,

But, they don't really they don't really work.

但，他們並不... 並不真的可以用

Apple has Siri. Pineapple has Maria. Maria is like Siri, or she, except

蘋果有 Siri 鳳梨有 Maria。 Maria 就像 Siri ，除了...

She's a little, she's a little crappier. She's got a little bit more attitude. Whatever you need, Maria will do it.

它有點... 有點爛... 也有點個人主義，每當你需要幫助，Maria 會做到

Can you give me directions to the nearest Starbucks?

可以跟我說最近的星巴克方向在哪嗎?

Are you kidding, like, are you kidding me right now? What do I look like to you?

你在開我玩笑嗎？ 你把我當甚麼？

Relax, calm, calm down, calm down, I'm just asking. I'm asking, can you please help me out?

放鬆，冷靜，冷靜，我只是問問，我問你可以幫我忙嗎?

I don't have attitude... already had coffee today, okay?

我沒有態度，我今天已經喝咖啡了好嗎?

That's not true, that's not, that's not at all true, you're making stuff up, oh shut up!

不對，這完全不對，你根本在瞎掰，給我閉嘴！

Are you ever scrolling through your library...

Introducing our new music detection feature,

我來介紹我們新的音樂偵測功能

Where, as soon as you put the headphones in, it automatically plays the song that's perfect for you based on how you look.

只要你戴上耳機，她會自動播放和你的長相完美匹配的歌曲

Some people call it racist. We call it the future. El futuro.

有些人稱它種族歧視，我們稱它掌握未來的特色

We've developed insanely advanced technology to make sure that if you have an accident with liquid and your phone,

我們極力的發展先進的技術，以避免你的手機與液體發生問題

If you purchase the Pineapple iPhone X right now, we will throw in an external battery for free.

假如你現在購買鳳梨 iPhone X，我們會免費附贈外部電池

Our newest feature makes it very hard for somebody to unlock your phone.

我們最新的功能讓手機非常難被解鎖

With Blood-lock, you can only unlock your phone using your own blood. All you need is something

只要有血液鎖，你就可以用你的血液解鎖，你只需一樣東西

Just very sharp, like a knife, like this, and then you just, you know, you cut your...

就是非常銳利，像刀，就像這樣，然後就，你知道的... 你割下你的...

Okay, then you take your phone, and you, just...

OK，你拿起你的手機，然後你只要

I want a safe... I have a vision of making the world a safer place.

我想要個安全..我有個讓世界變得更安全的想法

I hope you rush to stores immediately to buy the new Pineapple iPhone X, because it is

我希望你立即衝去商店買新的鳳梨iPhone X，因為它

But it's er, it's cheaper than Apple, but it is definitely a little crappier. I'm not gonna lie.

它... 比Apple便宜，不過我老實說，它比較垃圾