Spaghetti tacos.

義大利麵塔可捲

Spaghetti tacos?

義大利麵塔可捲？

Uh huh.

嗯哼

Wyatt, do you want that?

Wyatt 你也想吃這個嗎？

Yeah!

耶！

Yeah?

真的？

I guess we're making spaghetti tacos tonight.

我想今晚要來做義大利麵塔可捲了

I consider myself a gentle parent.

我自視為一個「溫和家長」

And if you don't know what a gentle parent is,

如果你不知道什麼是「溫和家長」

let me school you a little bit.

就讓我來教教你

The three key points of gentle parenting

「溫和管教」的三大重點

are understanding, empathy, and respect.

就是理解，同理心，還有尊重

Letting your child kind of have autonomy over themselves and their lives,

讓你的小孩能夠為自己做決定

while still being a parent.

同時也做好家長的角色

But something that I've seen circulating

但是最近開始在

in my little mom groups on Facebook

我的媽媽 FB 群組中流傳

is that gentle parents shouldn't say no.

說「溫和家長」不應該對小孩說「不」

I don't practice that because I think

我不這麼做，因為我認為

kids are gonna hear no in their lives

我的小孩在他們一生中，一定會被拒絕

and so shielding them from that is silly.

所以保護他們不被拒絕是愚蠢的

So, I wanted to try something for a week.

所以，我想要嘗試一件事一個禮拜

I wanted to try saying yes to my kids for a week.

我想要對我的小孩說「好」一個禮拜

So I did it and I learned a lot.

我做了，而且我也學到很多

So first I had to set some ground rules

首先，我要設下一些底線

because, if not, my house would probably have burnt down.

因為不設的話，我的房子可能會被燒毀

First, I did not let my kids know that I was doing this,

首先，我沒有讓我的小孩知道我正在這樣做

because if they had known,

因為如果他們知道了

that would have been just pure chaos.

一定是一團混亂

So they had no idea that this was happening.

所以他們完全不知道這件事

Second, there were some things that needed to still happen.

第二，有些事還是必要的

There are certain hygiene-oriented things

有些衛生相關的事情

that need to happen, health-oriented things,

是必須的，健康相關的事情

like you can't have cookies for every meal.

例如你不能每餐都吃餅乾

But beyond that, I let things go and I said yes.

除此之外，我就放手然後說「好」

And we had some interesting results.

有些蠻有趣的結果

It is Saturday morning.

現在是星期六早晨

It is 6:45 in the morning.

早上六點四十五分

Both of my kids are awake.

我的兩個小孩都醒了

Usually, I'd have them watch a little T.V.

通常，我會讓他們看一下電視

so I could get a little extra sleep,

所以我可以睡久一點

but they both are hungry, apparently starving to death.

但是他們都餓了，餓到快死了

And they wanna go to breakfast.

他們想要去吃早餐了

So I'm gonna get up and we're gonna go.

所以我要起床然後出發

So we're gonna get Jackson's hair cut.

我們要去給傑克森剪頭髮

We're walking and he wanted to ride his scooter.

我們正在走路，而他想要滑他的滑板車

For sure, something I would say no to

當然，我本來一定會說「不」的

because I know my kids.

因為我了解我的小孩

I know that we'll get there, get his hair cut,

我知道我們會到那裡，剪好頭髮

and then I'll end up lugging the scooter

然後最後就會是我拖著他的滑板車

and his younger brother all the way home.

還有他弟弟一路回家

But I said yes.

但我說「好」

We got there fine and lo and behold,

我們成功抵達那裡，讓人驚訝的是

he rode his scooter the whole way back, too.

他也一路滑滑板車回家

And that was a pleasant surprise

這是個令人開心的驚喜

and that was kind of my first realization of like,

這是我第一次明白了

"Oh, this might not be a bad thing."

「喔，這可能沒那麼糟。」

So they both wanted chicken nuggets for dinner

他們晚餐都想吃雞塊

and they asked if we could sit and watch Adventure Time

然後問可不可以一邊看探險活寶

while we have dinner.

一邊吃晚餐

So the one thing that I was most nervous about

我最緊張的事情

in this whole experiment of saying yes

在這個說「好」的實驗中

was the food situation.

就是食物了

If you are a busy parent like me,

如果你跟我一樣是個忙碌的家長

you know what it's like getting meals on the table.

你知道要生出一頓飯是什麼狀況

It's really tough.

真的很困難

So I have this rotation of standard meals

所以我會輪流做那些

that I know work.

我知道行得通的餐點

And so, I don't deviate from it

也因為如此，我不會多做變化

because you got something good, you just keep doing it.

因為當你找到好方案時，你就會繼續做下去

So when I started saying yes to them,

所以當我開始對他們說「好」

the orders got a little weird.

這個順序開始變得有點古怪

So I have some spaghetti.

我做了一些義大利麵

I'm gonna attempt to put it in a hard taco shell

我會嘗試把它放到硬的夾餅裡面

because I feel like a soft one with soft spaghetti

因為我覺得軟的餅配上軟的義大利麵

is gonna be, like, pretty weird.

可能會有點奇怪

Do you like it?

你喜歡嗎？

Yeah.

喜歡

Jackson, are you happy?

傑克森，你開心嗎？

Yes.

是的

Wyatt, are you happy?

瓦特，你開心嗎？

Yeah.

摁摁

So I think this was the one thing

所以我想

that my kids caught on to during the week,

我小孩逐漸在這禮拜發現

that I was being a lot more flexible with.

我變得更有彈性了

What I learned from this whole week

我在這禮拜從

of them choosing their foods

他們選擇自己要吃什麼中學到了

is that they're more likely to eat the entire plate

他們比較會想要全部吃光光

if they've chosen what they're gonna have.

如果他們選擇自己要吃什麼的時候

This kid's on his third one.

這孩子正在吃第三個

Oh my gosh, look at you go, Jackson.

我的天啊，你看看你，傑克森

And ultimately, they'll get what they need nutrition wise,

最終，他們會攝取到需要的營養

just maybe in a really weird way.

不過可能是用很奇怪的方法

So this week wasn't all rainbows and butterflies.

這星期也不是都是美好的粉紅泡泡而已

There were definitely some slip ups

一定有一些差錯

and some things that I learned

而其中，我學到某些事

that I definitely should continue to say no to.

是我應該持續說「不」的

The kids really wanted Starbucks for breakfast,

孩子們很想要吃星巴克早餐

so I said yes.

所以我說「好」

And we have a lot of errands to run today,

我們今天有很多事情要辦

so I wanted to just drive there

所以我想直接開車去

and drive straight from there to go do our stuff for the day.

然後從那裡直接開去做我們當天剩下的事情

But Jackson really, really wanted to walk

但是傑克森真的，真的很想走路

'cause he says he wants to get exercise.

因為他說他想要運動

It's about 85 degrees out right now

現在氣溫大概華氏 85 度 (攝氏 29.5 度)

and Wyatt is insisting on being held, so we're doing it.

瓦特堅持要我抱，所以我們就這樣啦

Big mistake!

大錯特錯！

It's 85 degrees, Jackson's already tired of walking

氣溫 85 度，傑克森已經累得不想走了

and so he's melting down, Wyatt's melting down,

所以他快崩潰了，瓦特也要崩潰了

I'm melting down.

我也要崩潰了

It was a disaster and we ended up just going home.

整個是場災難，我們到最後就直接回家

Never again.

再也不這樣做了

There was one evening this week

這禮拜有個晚上

that I really stepped out of my comfort zone.

我真的踏出了我的舒適圈

So the boys wanted to have a picnic at the park

兒子們晚餐想要去公園野餐

and play soccer for dinner today and it's a work night.

還有踢足球，但是今天是工作日的晚上

So I normally wouldn't do this but it's really nice out.

我通常不會這樣做，但是今天天氣真的很好

It's a beautiful day and they're having a blast

是個美好的一天，他們也玩得很高興

and we're having a good time.

我們正在享受美好時光

Are you guys having a good time?

你們開心嗎？

Yeah!

開心！

If you are a fellow working parent,

如果你也是有在上班的家長

then you'll understand that at the end of the day,

你就會懂一天結束後

it's just kind of like food, PJs, teeth, sleep.

通常就是食物、睡衣、刷牙、睡覺

But I said yes 'cause I had to.

但是我同意了，因為我必須說「好」

And it ended up being one of the most beautiful nights of the week for us as a family.

結果成為了我們家這星期最美好的夜晚

You know, we packed the picnic,

我們準備了野餐

they played with their soccer goal.

他們踢了踢足球

The kids asked me to play soccer with them

孩子們要我跟他們一起踢

and I said yes because I had to.

我說「好」，因為我必須這麼說

And that's not something I typically do

這不是我通常會做的事

because I've never been good at sports.

因為我一直都不擅長運動

And they didn't care that I was bad

他們根本不在乎我很爛

and they had a great time.

他們玩得很開心

It was really eye opening to me to realize

這讓我開了眼界

that we can spend weeknights doing quality family stuff,

我發現我們平日晚上就可以做些家庭活動

instead of just reserving it all for the weekends,

而不是都留到假日再做

'cause that's something I didn't think was possible before.

因為這不是一件我之前認為可行的事

Soccer star!

足球明星

This is the best day ever

這是史上最棒的一天

The best day ever?

最棒的一天？

Is that what you said?

你剛是這樣說嗎？

Best day ever.

最棒的一天

[Dad] 'Til she scores on you.

(爸爸) 直到她從你手上得分為止

So the culmination of this week of saying yes

所以這禮拜實驗的最終高潮

was really this one thing that my kids ask me for constantly

就是這件我孩子一直要求我的事

and I knew it was coming, but I was kind of dreading it

我知道它一定會發生，但我有點害怕

because I didn't know how I would handle it.

因為我不知道要怎麼我會怎麼處理

This morning I was getting ready for work

今天早上，我準備上班的時候

and Jackson was like, "I wanna come."

傑克森就說：「我也想要去。」

I couldn't think of a reason why not.

我想不到理由說「不」

Are you guys excited?

你們興奮嗎？

Yeah, yeah!

嗯嗯！

Wyatt, are you excited to go to BuzzFeed?

瓦特，要去 BuzzFeed 你興奮嗎？

(cheering)

(歡呼)

Wow.

哇

And I was terrified because kids are so unpredictable.

我害怕極了因為小孩很難以預測

I've seen my two-year-old being a sweet, perfect angel,

我看過我兩歲的兒子像個可愛、完美的天使

then I've seen him morph into a shrieking banshee in the middle of the grocery store.

也看過他在超市裡變成一個尖叫的女巫

It ended up being so much fun.

結果最後變成個超好玩的經驗

But it was really cool, first of all,

但其實這真的很蠻酷的，第一點，

to have everyone I work with meet both of my kids

讓我的同事認識我的兩個小孩

and I was just really proud

我真的很驕傲

to have these two really well-behaved, sweet,

我有這兩個表現良好、甜美

and polite, and respectful kids at work with me that day.

有禮貌、尊重人的小孩那天跟著我上班

It made me realize that they just really wanna know

這讓我了解他們真的只是很想

more about me and what I do and they wanna be around me.

更了解我，知道我在做什麼，想要跟在我身旁

And it just, it made me feel like

這讓我感覺

maybe I'm not doing such a terrible job.

我這個媽媽可能還做得不差

I think part of it also had to do with

我想有部分原因也是因為

we have this like chocolate-covered raisin funnel

辦公室有個巧克力葡萄乾的罐子

that you just like twist it and they keep coming out

你可以轉開然後葡萄乾就會一直掉出來

and that might have been the whole reason why they were happy that day.

那可能是他們那天很開心的主要原因

I don't know.

我不知道

I'm just gonna say it's 'cause of me.

我就直接說是因為我了

So, what did I learn from this whole week?

所以，我這禮拜學到了什麼？

I learned, first of all, that I say no a lot of the time

我學到了，第一點，我常常說「不」

out what I think is convenient.

只因為我覺得方便

But it ends up not being that much more difficult to say yes

但其實說「好」並沒有麻煩、困難很多

and it ends up being a lot more rewarding.

而且還讓我很有收穫

I've learned that there's a better work life balance that I can achieve as a parent.

我發現身為家長，我可以在工作與生活間達到更好的平衡

It doesn't have to be this like

不一定要是

Monday through Friday is work

週一到週五是工作

and Saturday and Sunday is kids.

週末才是小孩

And that has been such an important realization for me

這對我是個重要的發現

because that's something I struggle with every day

因為這是我長期以來的困擾

being a working parent and I'm sure

身為一個上班的家長，我相信

most of you working parents out there can relate.

你們其他上班家長一定也懂的

And finally, I realized I have good kids.

最後，我發現我的孩子很優秀

And I know that we all think our kids are the greatest.

我知道我們都覺得我家的小孩最棒

Like, obviously my kids are the greatest.

顯然，我的小孩是最棒的

But just having this week to relax

但透過這禮拜都放輕鬆

and let them make the choices,

讓我的小孩替自己做決定

made me realize how genuinely great they are

讓我看到了他們真的有多棒

and how sweet they are and how smart they are.

他們有多窩心又聰明

And I also learned how to make spaghetti tacos

我也學會了怎麼做義大利麵塔可捲

and I also learned that I am never gonna make those again.

我也知道我絕對不會再做那道菜了

So that's all I got for today.

以上就是今天的內容啦

If you've tried this experiment or want to try it

如果你做過這個實驗或是想要試試看

or you want me to try anything else in the future,

或是你想要我之後嘗試什麼新挑戰

'cause I'm totally on a kick right now,

因為我現在正個嗨起來了

leave it in the comments or you can text me.

在下面留言，或是你可以傳簡訊給我

This is a real number.

這是個真的號碼

I do read every single text.

我真的會讀每個簡訊

I don't necessarily respond because I get a lot of them

我不一定會回覆，因為訊息太多了

but I love to know what you guys want me to talk about

但我很想知道你們想要我聊什麼

or do in future episodes.

或是在之後做什麼

'Til next time.

下次見

I'm gonna try to take a bite of this spaghetti taco.

我要來試試這個義大利麵塔可捲

The one difficulty I'm running into

我遇到的一個困難是

is keeping the spaghetti in the taco.

如何把義大利麵保持在塔可捲裡面

(crunching)

(咬起來酥酥脆脆的聲音)

Oh man, I'm messy and weird.

天啊，我現在又髒又怪

(upbeat music)

(輕快音樂)