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  • ...reckless sinful way throughout this life.

  • The Lord has told me

  • that the open gates of Hell

  • are yawning up widely in our path.

  • Yes, the flames

  • of perpetual damnation

  • are ever ready to grasp our souls.

  • We know the way of the righteous man.

  • Yeah, we know the prayer

  • of the righteous man.

  • I'm telling you that the Lord has spoken.

  • Yes, the Lord has spoken to me.

  • Hi.

  • Mike Enslin. Checking in.

  • Honey. Mr. Enslin.

  • We were afraid you weren't going to show.

  • Oh it's such an honor to have you here.

  • - Terrible night out there. - If I could just get the key,

  • I'll settle in and we can talk in the morning after...

  • You probably want to hear all about our haunted history.

  • Well, this staircase here,

  • this is where the maid reputedly hung herself in 1860.

  • There's a picture!

  • - Can we do this in the morning? - Wait wait.

  • It's printed in our brochure. Now...

  • - Did we send you one of these? - Uh, probably did.

  • - Do you see her in the window? - Yeah, there she is.

  • That's a photo that a guest took in 1986.

  • In your letter you mentioned that the rooms

  • with the most paranormal activity

  • were in the attic. Could I have one of those rooms?

  • That's right, because the attic is on the third floor

  • which is the former servant's quarters.

  • People say that all of Sylvia's children

  • died up there of tuberculosis.

  • - All of them? - Guests have reported strange sounds.

  • At the stroke of midnight there's been weird noises.

  • Now our best advice is to lock your door from the inside.

  • - Isn't that right, honey? - That's right.

  • You take care, you just lock it from the inside.

  • I will.

  • As soon as you give me the key.

  • I'm so... right. Got it right here.

  • - Number 14, you can't miss it. - Been a long drive.

  • - Good luck. - All right, we'll see

  • what the night brings.

  • Mrs. Clark, the proprietor,

  • says she hasn't slept a night

  • since acquiring the inn and I believe her.

  • No no no, I pity her.

  • But in any case, the eggs Benedict are delicious

  • and if you call in advance, Mrs. Clark says

  • she will bake her famous flourless chocolate cake.

  • On a Shiver Scale, I award the Weeping Beach Inn six skulls.

  • Screw 'em, five skulls.

  • - Hi. - Oh hey.

  • How's it going? Can I help you?

  • Yeah, I'm here for the big event.

  • All right. Cool.

  • I'm Mike Enslin.

  • Sorry?

  • - Book signing. - Oh, right.

  • Oh, that's you, yeah. I see the resemblance, yeah.

  • - That's a good picture. - Thanks, man.

  • All right, hold on.

  • Um... attention, book lovers.

  • Tonight we have noted occult writer

  • Michael Enslin

  • at the Author's Corner tonight.

  • He's the writer of the best-selling ghost survival guides,

  • um... with such titles as "10 Haunted Hotels,"

  • "10 Haunted Graveyards,"

  • "10 Haunted Lighthouses."

  • That's tonight, 7:00 pm.

  • Anyway, so I really enjoyed writing it,

  • and that's kind of a history of the book.

  • And I hope you enjoy it, or enjoyed it.

  • Uh, you know, stay scared.

  • Right? Any questions?

  • Where's the scariest place you've ever been?

  • Scariest place I've ever been?

  • Uh, I've never heard that question before.

  • That's a joke.

  • Well, all these places have very colorful histories.

  • Um...

  • I would say, if I had to pick a top one,

  • I would say Bar Harbor,

  • the site of the grisly McTeig wedding night murders.

  • That's an intense place. Or maybe St. Cloud, Minnesota,

  • where the crazed war widow threw her baby down a well.

  • I mean, those all have a lot of... I mean, it's thick.

  • - The air is thick. - What about poltergeists?

  • Look, I'm a good researcher. I go into every gig locked and loaded.

  • I travel with an EMF meter, full-range spectrometer,

  • infrared camera. I mean, look, nothing would make me happier

  • than to experience a paranormal event,

  • you know, to get a glimpse of the elusive light

  • at the end of the tunnel.

  • So you're saying there's no such thing as ghosts?

  • I'm saying I've never seen one,

  • but they're awful convenient for desperate hotels

  • when the interstate moves away.

  • This thing has really gone off the rails. Who has a pen?

  • - I do. - Which one?

  • Uh, but seriously, Mike, if I want to see a real live ghost,

  • where's my best bet?

  • - Guaranteed? - Yeah.

  • Haunted Mansion, Orlando.

  • Awesome, thanks.

  • - Stay scared. - Thank you.

  • Hey, Ray, can you lock up?

  • I got band practice tonight.

  • Holy shit.

  • What rock did you find that under?

  • - Um, eBay. - eBay, huh?

  • How much did it go for?

  • Well, there weren't many bidders.

  • I would think not.

  • - Wow. - But it's, um...

  • - an amazing book. - Oh.

  • Um, so... unique

  • and inspirational and honest.

  • Thanks. What's your name?

  • - Um, Anna. - Okay, Anna.

  • Are you gonna write another one like this one?

  • Nah, it's a different guy.

  • - Um... can I ask you a question? - Sure.

  • Um, the relationship in the book

  • with the father and the son... it's probably too personal,

  • - but, um, it's so authentic and... - Mm-hm.

  • well-constructed, and...

  • is it true?

  • No.

  • Well, thank you for this. I really appreciate it.

  • My pleasure.

  • Bye.

  • - Good boy! - Yo, homey...

  • Just a minute, Tiffany!

  • Yeah, I'm just gonna tie it inside my suit here.

  • Yo, Greg, check him out!

  • Did you see what happened?

  • Oh yeah.

  • Are you okay, buddy?

  • Hey, are you breathing?

  • - No! - Serious as a heart attack.

  • We got 325. That is back here, I think.

  • Uh-huh.

  • This is the one. Sign on the line, please, sir.

  • Oh, you mean right here?

  • - Have yourself a beautiful day. - Thank you.

  • - Thank you very much. - Hey, man, you've been gone a while.

  • - Hey, Jackson, what's up? - Oh by the way, dude,

  • I read your last book... the "10 Haunted Mansions" thing.

  • Man, that's some scary shit.

  • Cool.

  • Later on, dude.

  • - Hi. - Hi, how you doing?

  • - Hi. - Good.

  • Thanks.

  • That's cute.

  • Good evening, Dolphin Hotel. How might I direct your call?

  • Yeah, hi, I'm calling about room 1408.

  • One moment please, sir.

  • How may I help you?

  • Yeah, I'd like to stay in room 1408 please.

  • That room is unavailable, sir.

  • I didn't tell you which date.

  • How about Saturday?

  • It's unavailable.

  • The following Tuesday?

  • Unavailable.

  • Next month?

  • Unavailable.

  • Next summer?

  • Somebody, anybody, where's good Chinese near 48th?

  • I got to have lunch with that idiot from Random House. Anybody?

  • Sam, Mike Enslin calling from Los Angeles again.

  • I'll take it in there.

  • Clay, you got a sec for Mike Enslin?

  • - Say yes. - Yes.

  • Great. Now look, this guy tends to get a little morose,

  • so try to keep the energy up. Otherwise he stews in his own funk.

  • - Mike! - Hey, Sam.

  • Hey hey, read the first five chapters last night.

  • Spooky shit, couldn't sleep a wink.

  • Great. Hey, did you take care of that thing?

  • You'd better believe I did. And I got our top lawyer here right now.

  • Mike, Clay, Clay, Mike.

  • - Hi, Clay. - Mike.

  • Talk fast, all right? This guy's $400 an hour.

  • All right, Clay, what's up with the Dolphin?

  • Yeah, the Dolphin.

  • That stick-up-its-ass relic on Lexington.

  • Too posh for a free plug, right?

  • Well, you are gonna love what Clay's cooked up.

  • He dug around and found you... are you sitting down?

  • a Federal Civil Rights law.

  • Like somebody would discriminate against you,

  • a well-to-do white guy. But the law's the law, right, Clay?

  • Ergo, if the room's not occupied they have to give it to you.

  • Really?

  • Yeah. Now look, the manager there's gonna put up a stink

  • but he knows the drill.

  • - Nothing you can't handle. - So, Mike...

  • we'll book the room and if they refuse

  • we'll rattle our sabers and file suit.

  • - So it's all done? - Thanks, Clay. Get lost, all right?

  • Bye, Clay.

  • Yeah, Mike, are you there?

  • Yeah, uh, on a more personal note,

  • are you sure you want to come here?

  • Yeah, of course. It'll make a solid closing chapter of the book.

  • Yeah yeah, I know the routine.

  • But, I mean, it's New York.

  • All that happened... you really want to put yourself through that?

  • - I'll be quick. - Are you gonna call Lily?

  • No. I don't want to impose.

  • In and out. Nobody gets hurt.

  • It's just a job.

  • Here you are, Dolphin.

  • Hey! Taxi!

  • It's a beautiful room, with fabulous views of the city.

  • Pardon me, ladies.

  • Thanks very much.

  • Welcome to the Dolphin, sir.

  • - Are you checking in? - Mike Enslin.

  • One night.

  • And how are we spelling that today?

  • - N-S-L-I-N? - N-S-L-I-N.

  • Yeah.

  • Uh, would you excuse me for a moment, sir?

  • Sure.

  • Mr. Dempsey, Mike Enslin's just checked in.

  • - Where is he? - He's over at my desk.

  • That's fine, Marie. I'll take care of it.

  • Okay.

  • It'll just be a minute, Mr. Enslin.

  • Good evening, sir. Can I help you with your bag?

  • - No. - Very well.

  • Mr. Enslin, I'm Gerald Olin,

  • manager of the Dolphin.

  • If there's anything that I can do for you while you're here...

  • dinner reservations, theater tickets,

  • maybe a Knicks game? Anything...

  • just tell me. I am at your service.

  • Well, if I can just get the key to 1408, I can get out of your hair.

  • Oh, we were thinking of upgrading you to a penthouse suite.

  • 1408, please.

  • Insistent, aren't we?

  • Could you please humor me

  • by coming to my office for a more private conversation?

  • - Sure. - Excellent.

  • Come in. Make yourself comfortable.

  • 1408 a smoking room?

  • As a matter of fact, it is. Yes.

  • Good, one less worry in the watches of the night.

  • Care for a cigar?

  • No thank you, I don't smoke.

  • Oh this, yeah. That's...

  • in case nuclear war breaks out.

  • I gave it up a long time ago.

  • It's part habit, part superstition.

  • It's, you know, a writer thing.

  • You do drink, don't you?

  • Of course, I just said I was a writer.

  • Le Cinquante Sept Deces, 1939.

  • Exquisite.

  • About $800 a bottle, when you can find it.

  • I appreciate the bribe, but I intend on staying in that room.

  • - How long? - How long?

  • My usual is overnight.

  • I see.

  • No one's ever lasted more than an hour.

  • Jesus, man.

  • You ought to shave your eyebrows and paint your hair gold

  • if you're gonna try to sell that spookhouse bullshit.

  • Otherwise, you'll scare the children.

  • Why are you mocking me when I am genuinely,

  • to the best of my ability, trying to help you?

  • No, you're playing a little game.

  • You're selling the mystique.

  • But eventually, we both know

  • you're gonna give me the key and I'm gonna go up to the room

  • and I'm gonna write my story

  • and your bookings are gonna go up 50%.

  • Do you mind if my little friend records our conversation?

  • I'll take that as a yes.

  • Sir, you quite misunderstand the situation.

  • Now, I know the Dolphin doesn't have the cachet of the Plaza

  • or the Carlyle,

  • but we operate at 90% capacity.

  • Always.

  • And my concern here is not for the hotel.

  • My concern here is not for you.

  • Frankly, selfishly,

  • I don't want you to check into 1408

  • because I don't want to clean up the mess.

  • Now hotels are all about presentation

  • and fertile creature comforts.

  • My training is as a manager,

  • not a coroner.

  • Under my watch there have been four deaths... four.

  • After the last one, I forbade any guest

  • from checking into 1408 ever again.

  • The last one was David Hide, orthodontist, manic-depressive.

  • Slit his wrist, did a little self-surgery,

  • turned himself into a eunuch, right?

  • Yes. So you've done your homework.

  • I'm a professional too.

  • Well, grievously, in its 95-year existence,

  • the hotel has seen seven jumpers,

  • four overdoses, five hangings,

  • - three mutilations... - Three mutilations...

  • two stranglings. General manager Gerald Olin

  • is well-versed in the hotel's tragic history,

  • dryly reciting the docket of carnage like a bookkeeper

  • discussing his ledger.

  • Well, you think you're clever, don't you?

  • I know the game.

  • Well, during your investigation,

  • did you discover the 22 natural deaths

  • that have occurred in 1408?

  • Natural deaths?

  • Ah, didn't find out about them

  • because the newspapers don't print anything about them.

  • Hmm. All told, there have been 56 deaths

  • in 1408.

  • 56? You're shitting me.

  • You don't know anything.

  • The causes of death in 1408 range

  • from heart attack, stroke, drowning...

  • - Drowning? - Yes, one Mr. Grady Miller

  • drowned in his chicken soup.

  • That's hard to do. How... how did he do that?

  • How indeed?

  • Interesting. It's all in here.

  • I will let you have this and give you access to my office.

  • You can take notes, put it all in your book.

  • My only condition

  • is that you do not stay in that room.

  • You'll let me look at all that stuff?

  • Hmm.

  • I never did get that drink.

  • - Oh, that is good. - Here, keep it.

  • Compliments of the house.

  • - I'm still staying. - Damn it to hell!

  • I'm sorry.

  • All right here. Here, read the godforsaken thing.

  • I guarantee you, once you've read it

  • you won't want to stay in 1408.

  • The first victim: Mr. Kevin O'Malley,

  • sewing machine salesman.

  • Checked into the hotel the first week it opened October, 1912.

  • - Cut his own throat, right? - Oh, that's not the horrific part.

  • Afterwards, in a fit of insanity,

  • he tried to stitch himself back together

  • using an old sewing needle before he bled to death.

  • Easy, man.

  • Look, Mr. Enslin, you don't have to stay in 1408.

  • You can take photographs of 1404.

  • It has the exact same layout

  • and no one will ever know the difference.

  • - My readers expect the truth. - Your readers?

  • Your readers expect grotesqueries

  • and cheap thrills.

  • "The headless ghost of Mr. Eugene Rilsby

  • still walks his abandoned farmhouse."

  • "The Barking Phantom of Mount Hope Cemetery."

  • A direct quote... how'd you know that?

  • Your books aren't hard to find.

  • They're on the bargain shelves of any paperback novel store;

  • full of cynicism, written by a talented, intelligent man

  • who doesn't believe in anything or anyone but himself.

  • Guilty as charged.

  • Hey listen, this meeting's over. Why don't you give me the room?

  • Oh please, don't act like a hurt schoolgirl.

  • - In fact, you surprised me. - Oh.

  • You are not the hack-n-slash I expected.

  • I rather liked the first one, the hardcover.

  • What was it called? "The Last Walk..."

  • "Long Road Home."

  • "The Long Road Home," yes.

  • I rather thought the father was a bastard.

  • Yeah, he was.

  • Look man, just give me the key.

  • - Mr. Enslin... - Just give me the key!

  • Listen, I stayed at the Bigsby house.

  • I brushed my goddamn teeth right next to the tub

  • where Sir David Smith drowned his whole family.

  • And I stopped being afraid of vampires when I was 12.

  • Do you know why I can stay in your spooky old room, Mr. Olin?

  • Because I know that ghoulies and ghosties

  • and long-legged beasties don't exist.

  • Even if they did,

  • there's no God to protect us from them, is there?

  • So I can't talk you out of this?

  • I think we've reached an understanding.

  • Very well.

  • Come with me.

  • Most hotels have switched to magnetics.

  • An actual key. That's a nice touch... it's antiquey.

  • We have magnetic cards also,

  • but electronics don't seem to work in 1408.

  • Hope you don't have a pacemaker.

  • General manager claims that the phantom in room interferes...

  • I have never used the word "phantom."

  • Oh, I'm sorry. Spirit? Specter?

  • No, you misunderstand.

  • Whatever's in 1408 is nothing like that.

  • Then what is it?

  • It's an evil fucking room.

  • Please.

  • Mr. Olin.

  • Oh, oui. Tres bien.

  • Why don't the owners just close the room?

  • The Yasudo Corporation prefers to pretend there's no problem.

  • Just as they pretend there's no 13th floor.

  • The room, it's got to be filthy.

  • I mean, the sheets haven't been changed in what? 11 years?

  • No no no, we're very professional.

  • 1408 gets a light turn once a month.

  • I supervise, the maids work in pairs.

  • We treat the room as if it's a chamber

  • filled with poison gas.

  • We only stay 10 minutes and I insist the door remain open.

  • But still...

  • A few years ago, a young maid from El Salvador

  • found herself locked in the bathroom.

  • She was only there for a few moments,

  • but when we pulled her out, she was...

  • - She was dead. - No, blind.

  • She had taken a pair of scissors and gouged her eyes out.

  • She was laughing hysterically.

  • - Ouch. - Your floor.

  • Well, this is where we part company.

  • This is as close as I get to 1408

  • unless it's that time of the month.

  • - See you tomorrow. - Mr. Enslin?

  • Please...

  • don't do this.

  • I'll call you about those Knicks tickets.

  • Stop it!

  • Okay. It's okay, sweetie. We're home now.

  • Here we go.

  • This is it?

  • You got to be kidding me.

  • Round one goes to the hideous Mr. Olin

  • for effective aggressiveness.

  • I have to admit, he had me going for a moment.

  • But where is the bone-chilling terror?

  • Show me the rivers of blood.

  • It's just a room.

  • $8 for beer nuts.

  • This room is evil.

  • Olin said hotels are about fertile creature comforts.

  • It's a good line, but I wonder

  • whether they're really about reassuring platitudes,

  • a prosaic sense of the familiar.

  • "Yes, I've been here before.

  • It's safe."

  • There's a sofa,

  • a writing desk, a faux antique armoire,

  • floral wallpaper.

  • Carpet's unremarkable, except for a stain

  • beneath a thrift-store painting of a schooner lost at sea.

  • The work is done in the predictably dull fashion

  • of Currier and Ives.

  • The second painting is of an old woman

  • reading bedtime stories... a Whistler knockoff...

  • to a group of deranged children

  • as another Madonna and child watch from the background.

  • It does have the vague air of menace.

  • The third and final painfully dull painting

  • is the ever-popular "The Hunt."

  • Horses, hounds and constipated British lords.

  • Some smartass spoke about the banality of evil.

  • If that's true,

  • then we're in the seventh circle of Hell.

  • It does have its charms.

  • The panorama is typically cramped New York City view of nothing:

  • Dull, grey buildings all around;

  • Honking traffic below. The view of a...

  • Holy shit.

  • Bravo, Olin. That is very unsettling.

  • That means someone's in the room.

  • Hello?

  • Hello!

  • Whoa.

  • That is bizarre.

  • Finally I got something to write about.

  • A ghost that offers turn-down service.

  • All right.

  • All right, let's Encyclopedia Brown this bitch.

  • Started off the window,

  • hear the music, nab my head.

  • I turn around, go to the bed for the chocolate.

  • Then I go into the closet which would have..

  • my back was turned. It would have let...

  • Houdini have time to come in here do the paper trick...

  • and he's in the living room.

  • Out!

  • Huh.

  • Hello?

  • You're gonna have to try harder, asshole!

  • Nice and warm for you up there?

  • It's hot down here, bubba.

  • Come on.

  • - Front desk. - Hello, this is Mike Enslin.

  • - Guess which room. - Good evening, sir.

  • - Good evening. - Are you ready to check out?

  • Check out? No no no no no.

  • Check out, check out, no. Why would I check out?

  • Especially with this wonderful maid service. It's so discreet.

  • No no no, I need you to send somebody to fix my thermostat.

  • - Room's on fire. - Of course, sir.

  • We'll send an engineer right up.

  • - You will? - Absolutely.

  • - Thank you. - You're welcome.

  • How many thin walls

  • have we put up with together,

  • old boy?

  • How many sarcophagal chambers?

  • Hotel rooms are a naturally creepy place...

  • don't you think?

  • I mean, how many people have slept in that bed before you?

  • How many of them were sick?

  • How many of them lost their minds?

  • How many of them... died?

  • We came here to get the story,

  • and we don't rattle, do we?

  • It's not that what I'm seeing is not real.

  • It just ain't as real as it seems.

  • Hello?

  • You got a problem with the temperature?

  • Yeah.

  • Come on.

  • Is it too hot or too cold?

  • What does it look like?

  • Come on in.

  • The box is right over here.

  • It's stuck around 80.

  • I said the box is right here.

  • I know where the hell it is, but I ain't going in this room.

  • You just have to walk six or seven feet.

  • I said I ain't going in. You know what happened in here?

  • Yes, I'm well aware of that.

  • Look, I'll talk you through it.

  • Any jackass can fix that thing.

  • Just remove the panel.

  • Okay, now above that coil

  • is a little tube filled with mercury.

  • That's supposed to activate the contact switch.

  • But this hotel's so goddamn old, half the shit in here don't work.

  • Just give the tube a little tap.

  • Just tap the damn thing!

  • Yeah, there it is.

  • Oh, sir, you're a genius.

  • A gentleman and a scholar.

  • Thank you. Let me give you...

  • a tip.

  • Sir?

  • Son of a...

  • Nobody lasts more than an hour.

  • Very effective.

  • Oh fuck! Jesus!

  • Oh, God.

  • Ow! Son of a...

  • Ow! Fuck! Agh!

  • Ow! God!

  • Hello?

  • Hello?

  • Sir, I'm afraid there was a miscommunication in the kitchen.

  • There's going to be a 10-minute delay with your sandwich.

  • Sandwich? What sandwich?

  • I didn't order any sandwich. What are you talking about?

  • I'm sorry.

  • You're welcome to substitute a side dish for your French fries.

  • We have cottage cheese, macaroni salad,

  • - Listen to me. You win. - coleslaw...

  • I'm checking out. I'm hurt.

  • Do you understand? My goddamn hand is hurt.

  • I understand. If you leave your dry cleaning out by 10:00 AM,

  • we'll have it pressed and returned by 5:00...

  • Shit, bitch! Call me a cab to the nearest hospital!

  • I'm hurt! Do you comprehend what I'm telling you?

  • Sir, I will not tolerate you speaking to me in that tone of voice.

  • You're an idiot! I'm gonna sue your ass!

  • I'm gonna take legal action! What's wrong with you?

  • If you wish, I can connect you with our manager Mr. Olin.

  • Good! Good good good good good! Put him on.

  • Put him on. I'm gonna blitz the son of a bitch.

  • Olin... good! Put him on now!

  • When staying at the Dolphin, be certain to enjoy

  • New York's finest dining at the fabled Sea Bream restaurant

  • on our mezzanine level. Muscles tense?

  • Then make an appointment to visit our deluxe spa on the Coral level.

  • With full massage, facial and aromatherapy facilities,

  • - it will leave you feeling relaxed... - Hello?

  • and revitalized. Your call is important to us...

  • You bitch.

  • You win. You win.

  • All right. Okay!

  • Come on. Come on!

  • Come on. Come on.

  • Hey!

  • Help! Help!

  • Help! Help!

  • Can anybody hear me?

  • Help!

  • You! Sir! Sir! Help!

  • Yeah! Yeah, you! Help!

  • Help! Help! You, sir!

  • Help! Can you see me?

  • Yeah! The Dolphin Hotel!

  • Call the police!

  • Help!

  • Help!

  • Hey!

  • I'm losing my mind.

  • I can see you, Dad.

  • Daddy? Daddy, where are you?

  • I'm gonna get you.

  • Ready or not,

  • here I come.

  • Here you are.

  • I see you, Daddy.

  • Get a hold of yourself.

  • You're running to places that aren't real.

  • Get up. Get up.

  • You're losing the plot.

  • You're losing the whole goddamn structure.

  • Daddy! Find me.

  • Psychokinetic fibrillations.

  • A tired mind among classic haunted-house powers of suggestion.

  • Gas lit features, faded rugs,

  • like that motel in Kansas.

  • There's a reason for everything. Just think.

  • What's that?

  • What is that? Is that a spycam?

  • Who is that? Are you enjoying this?

  • Is that the sadistic owner of the hotel or is that Olin?

  • Wait a minute.

  • He gave me booze.

  • He gave me booze. Did he take a sip?

  • I can't remember.

  • He dosed me!

  • It was the booze or the chocolates.

  • Never take candy from strangers.

  • All right, all right. I'm just hallucinating.

  • I'm just hallucinating.

  • I've just got to ride this out.

  • I've got to ride this out

  • for four or five hours and I'm straight. Okay.

  • You can do this.

  • Oh, man. I'm gonna get you.

  • You are finished. Come here. Come here!

  • Dad! Sit down!

  • You want me to sit down?

  • You want me to sit down?

  • - Yes! - Okay, hold on, hold on.

  • Let me find a good...

  • let me find a good frame here.

  • Ladies and gentlemen,

  • welcome to the Most Ugliest Person Competition.

  • Fifth and fourth place

  • goes to Boris and Doris the goldfish.

  • Ladies and gentlemen! Let's get a close-up of those guys.

  • Let's have a close-up of Boris and Doris.

  • Look at that. Those are some ugly fish.

  • They're so ugly they're running from you.

  • Third place goes to Mike Enslin.

  • Surprise surprise.

  • Right, how's this for ugly?

  • Second place goes to Lily Enslin.

  • That was good.

  • That's kind of like Beowulf meets a redneck.

  • - I like it. - And first place goes to Katie Enslin.

  • That is a terror. That is...

  • Oh, God! Don't show me that face!

  • Oh, I can't look at it again.

  • Whatever you do, don't turn around.

  • Whatever you do, don't show us that face.

  • Ma'am, can you hear me?

  • Ma'am, I need your help.

  • Please, ma'am, can you hear me?

  • Kid, be quiet.

  • Please, ma'am.

  • Quiet!

  • I... wish...

  • I was dead.

  • Where's my garden?

  • I can't smell anything.

  • I hate this place.

  • How did I get here?

  • Pop.

  • Dad.

  • It's Michael.

  • As you are...

  • I was.

  • As I am...

  • you will be.

  • Maybe I'm not real.

  • Maybe I'm just having a nightmare...

  • an incredibly vivid

  • lucid nightmare.

  • When is the last time I remember going to bed?

  • I flew in yesterday.

  • Or was that... today?

  • I can't remember.

  • Was I on a train?

  • I woke up somewhere

  • and I had breakfast.

  • Where was I? What did I eat?

  • Here it comes.

  • They say you can't die in your dreams.

  • Is that true?

  • The shock would wake you up.

  • So you couldn't really die.

  • All right, what are our options?

  • Got the hallway, got guest rooms on either side,

  • stairwell, fire exits.

  • And that's the next window...

  • the next room.

  • How many feet across is that?

  • One...

  • ...three,

  • four, five,

  • six, seven, eight...

  • nine.

  • Nine, nine... 18 feet across.

  • Okay. I can do this.

  • If something should happen, if I should slip and fall,

  • I want it to be known that it was an accident.

  • The room...

  • did not win.

  • Okay.

  • Okay, I can do this.

  • 18 little steps.

  • Four...

  • Don't look down. Five...

  • Keep moving.

  • Here we go.

  • All right. Okay.

  • Number nine...

  • eight...

  • six...

  • Where is it? Where is it?

  • Get a hold of yourself.

  • You're running to places that aren't real.

  • Hotel rooms are naturally creepy places.

  • Strangely, the bedroom has no window.

  • Strangely, the bedroom has no window...

  • Dr. Edwards to Oncology.

  • Please, please.

  • No. No. Doctors don't know everything.

  • We can get another opinion, look for other treatment.

  • - You hear about... - Look at me.

  • - ...miracle cures. - Lily.

  • Oh God. Please, something.

  • What kind of god would do this to a little girl?

  • Katie.

  • Daddy, I can't see you.

  • Daddy, I can't find you.

  • Daddy, I'm scared.

  • - Katie. - I'm scared, Daddy.

  • Help.

  • Help me.

  • Daddy, help me.

  • Okay, how about the wireless?

  • Come on.

  • Give me a signal. Give me a signal.

  • Good evening, Mike.

  • Oh, yes!

  • Mike?

  • Mike, is that... is that you?

  • - I can barely see you. - Yes yes.

  • - It's like seeing a ghost. - No no no. Yes, it's me.

  • - It's me. It's Mike. - This is a little bizarre.

  • I mean, I haven't talked to you in a year

  • and suddenly you pop up in a box on my computer.

  • I'm sorry, Lily. Listen to me, please, quickly.

  • Look, I'm at work, okay?

  • So why don't you call me at home tonight?

  • I'm trapped in this room, this place.

  • Mike, you're always trapped in weird places. That's your job.

  • No no, please, Lily. Listen to me.

  • - Please. - Lily Enslin.

  • - Hi. Yeah yeah. - Lily!

  • - I've got those. I'll be right down. - No. Lily!

  • Lily, please! Call the cops.

  • Send them to the Dolphin Hotel.

  • I'll call you back.

  • - You're in the city? - Yes!

  • - 2254 Lexington. - What are you doing in New York?

  • I'll tell you later. The Dolphin Hotel, room 1408.

  • - That's just perfect. - Please.

  • You walk out, you disappear. Leaving me what?

  • Not divorced. Separated? I don't know, it's not clear.

  • - Suddenly you need me? - Lily, I'm in a real bad spot here.

  • - I'm in danger. You understand? - Okay, Mike. Slow down.

  • You're not making any sense.

  • There's something trying to kill me right now.

  • No, Lily!

  • No no no!

  • I've got a knife!

  • That's the way out.

  • Or that way. Or that way.

  • All right, that's the way out.

  • Lady, let me in!

  • - Help! Help! - Please, sleep.

  • - Lady, I'm coming through! - Mike!

  • Mike, can you help me? Where'd you go?

  • I got to get some cigarettes. You want something?

  • Jesus Christ!

  • You can't do this.

  • She needs you. She lost a kid too.

  • You've got an amazing talent for stating the obvious, Pop.

  • You think I don't know that?

  • I'm trying to talk some sense into your head!

  • - Don't put your hands on me, old man! - Mike!

  • Talk? Why change what appears to be the habit of a lifetime, Pop?

  • You were always great at passing judgment,

  • but the problem is you never gave a shit.

  • I never gave a shit because you're a bullshit writer!

  • Shit!

  • Hello!

  • Kevin O'Malley.

  • No.

  • No no no no no no.

  • I can't help you.

  • I can't help you.

  • No!

  • It's good to be back.

  • That's enough of that.

  • Alcohol.

  • I was just checking to see if the accommodations

  • are exceeding your expectations.

  • You know goddamn well they are!

  • - What do you want from me? - No no no.

  • What do you want?

  • What do you want, Mr. Enslin?

  • - You sought this room. - It was a job. I was doing the job.

  • - I beg your pardon? - My job! I'm a writer.

  • Oh, that's right. You don't believe in anything.

  • You like shattering people's hopes.

  • Oh, that's bullshit!

  • Why do you think people believe in ghosts?

  • For fun? No.

  • It's the prospect of something after death.

  • How many spirits have you broken?

  • She was in so much pain.

  • I'm sure she's smiling down on us right now.

  • What do you want from me?

  • Huh?

  • What do you want from me?

  • You...

  • You little...

  • What do you want?

  • What?!

  • I want my drink!

  • You win. You win.

  • - Mommy? - Hmm?

  • Why is the Bible purple?

  • I don't know why it's purple.

  • It was a wedding present.

  • My grandmother brought it all the way from Hungary.

  • Someday it'll be yours.

  • Are there people where I'm going?

  • Hey, you're not going anywhere, kiddo.

  • You're gonna stay right here with us.

  • Daddy...

  • everyone dies.

  • When they're old.

  • When they're much older.

  • Okay, and then they go to a better place.

  • And it's beautiful there.

  • And all your friends will be there.

  • Is God there?

  • Yes.

  • Do you really believe that, Daddy?

  • Yes.

  • You know what I think! We should have done more!

  • - We did everything we could! - No, we didn't!

  • - We should have helped her fight... - Oh my God.

  • ...instead of filling her head full of these stories

  • about heavens and the clouds and nirvana

  • and all that bullshit!

  • Those stories, she like them.

  • I'm going to get some cigarettes, okay?

  • We ponder the situation.

  • I'm trying to accurately describe...

  • Orpheus on the Orpheum Circuit

  • bathed in tango light,

  • the kind of light that makes the dead...

  • get out of their graves and tango.

  • Now this is level nine...

  • the deepest level of hell,

  • furthest removed from all light and warmth.

  • This is six.

  • It's goddamn five.

  • I think I see the pattern.

  • Yes, I can see the pattern.

  • Mike.

  • Mike, can you hear me?

  • - Michael, where the hell are you? - Lily.

  • Michael?

  • - Mike. - Lily.

  • Michael, can you hear me?

  • Lily.

  • Oh my God. Thank God. Jesus, I've been trying to get through!

  • - Did you call the cops? - Yeah yeah, they're at the hotel.

  • - Didn't you say the Dolphin? - Yes.

  • - You're sure? - Yes yes, 1408.

  • Mike, they're in 1408.

  • The room's empty.

  • Mike?

  • Michael, can you hear me?

  • Michael?

  • Michael, where the hell are you?

  • I'm afraid I can't express myself in this climate.

  • Calm down, okay? We'll figure this out.

  • - Don't panic. - I'm supposed to die here.

  • Michael, stop it! You're not gonna die, okay?

  • Don't move. I can be there in 15 minutes.

  • Mike? Michael?

  • 15 minutes isn't enough time.

  • - It'll be too late. - No, it won't be too late.

  • - Don't... - Lily.

  • Actually, 15 minutes is perfect.

  • It's perfect. Just come up. Come now.

  • - Good, yes. - I need you.

  • You've always been someone I can count on Lily.

  • I know we haven't talked a lot since... since Katie died,

  • But I need you, sweetie.

  • - I can't explain it here. - Wait!

  • You just have to come here and talk to me.

  • I miss you too, but...

  • When you get here, don't talk to anybody.

  • Just come straight up to the 14th floor.

  • - Shut up! Shut up! - Walk through the door.

  • - It's life or death, sweetie. - Do not come up to the room!

  • - Okay. - Don't come up to the room!

  • - I need to talk to you about Katie. - Don't! Shut up!

  • - Lily, don't listen to him! - Yes, good.

  • - It's a trick! Don't come up here! - I'll be right there.

  • Lily! Lily!

  • My baby! My baby!

  • She's heading for the rocks!

  • I don't want to die!

  • Oh God!

  • Man overboard!

  • Come on!

  • Are you okay, buddy?

  • Hey, are you breathing?

  • Come on, talk to me.

  • You guys, give me a hand here!

  • Dr. Edwards to Oncology, please.

  • Hey.

  • How are you feeling?

  • - Am I out? - You're okay. You're okay.

  • Lie down, lie down, lie down.

  • Lie down, lie down, lie down. You're okay.

  • You're in the hospital.

  • Hospital where? In New York?

  • New York? No no, you're in LA.

  • You got hit on the head with your board.

  • I can't believe you still surf.

  • You flew here just for me?

  • Yeah. Yeah, I was worried.

  • They called.

  • I think I'm still listed as your next of kin.

  • Okay, I'm not in New York.

  • - I'm out. - Why do you keep saying that?

  • I was in New York. I was trapped.

  • In New York, I was dying

  • in this Kafkaesque hotel,

  • The Dolphin.

  • - What? - The Dolphin Hotel on 45th and Lex.

  • - I spoke with you there. - 45th and Lex?

  • - I called you. - I've never heard of it.

  • You're gonna be okay. You just need to rest.

  • Oh, we have a winner.

  • 600 bucks.

  • Unbelievable.

  • I can see why you live here.

  • Why did you leave?

  • Because every time I looked at you,

  • I saw her face.

  • I think it's pretty clear.

  • I think in the dream the room's your subconscious

  • and it brought up a lot of stuff.

  • That's a good thing for you.

  • But this was... I mean, I was down the rabbit hole.

  • I was rattled. I was shook up.

  • And I can't shake it. I think after dinner

  • you should drive me back to the hospital,

  • check me into the psych unit.

  • You look really great.

  • I can't believe I'm sitting here with you.

  • Tell me about it.

  • Is everything all right? Can I get you anything else?

  • I'll have another glass of wine, please.

  • The same.

  • Mike?

  • Yeah, I'll have another tequila...

  • Patron, chilled, double.

  • Be right back.

  • Katie was there.

  • Mmm-hm.

  • Can you imagine

  • what it feels like, you know, to have the sensation?

  • I mean, the very real sensation

  • that I talked to her, like, two days ago?

  • I talked to her, saw her, touched her.

  • Yeah.

  • I see her every night when I shut my eyes.

  • Yeah, but it was so vivid.

  • It was so real.

  • Maybe you should write about it.

  • About Katie? Shit.

  • - You always were tougher than me. - Why not?

  • Seriously, it sounds like you're ready to deal with this stuff.

  • Can you stay?

  • I'm sorry.

  • Okay, we have got 148.

  • 148 is gonna be right about...

  • Uh-huh.

  • So if you'd like to sign on the line...

  • Hey! Hey, man!

  • You've been gone a while.

  • Oh, by the way, dude, I read your book.

  • What is it? "10 Most Haunted Motels," right?

  • That's some scary shit.

  • See you around.

  • Did I drop a postcard?

  • - What? - Did I?

  • - Huh? - A postcard.

  • No, I think I would have seen it.

  • But if I find it, I'll put it in your mailbox.

  • Okay?

  • My experience in the room was terrifying,

  • a fragmented loop of unease and despair.

  • 1408 was a horrible dream,

  • yet somehow I awoke from it... renewed.

  • Mikey! You sound happy. You're scaring me.

  • I wouldn't go that far,

  • but I must say that the work is just pouring out of me.

  • I think I've actually reinvented myself

  • in the form of a kind of a fictional memoir..

  • "Autobiography of a Nightmare:

  • Truman Capote meets H.R. Giger." What do you think?

  • I love it! "'In Cold Blood' with 'Aliens!"'

  • That's sexy. I wanna put it out to auction,

  • start a bidding war. When can I read it?

  • Easy, tiger. Any day now.

  • You're gonna get it as soon as I finish.

  • Okay, Mike. Less talking, more writing.

  • Hey, where's that decaf? I'm dying here.

  • Thank you.

  • Hey, Pop.

  • How are you doing, old boy?

  • Can you hear me?

  • I don't think so.

  • I know I haven't been here in a few months,

  • but I just wanted to...

  • come by and see how you're doing and...

  • tell you I was doing okay.

  • Doing pretty good, actually.

  • I started talking to Lily again.

  • And uh... I wrote a new book,

  • which I actually think you would like...

  • believe it or not.

  • Michael.

  • Dad.

  • Michael.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • So...

  • Hey, I got a package I need to overnight.

  • Is this the right form?

  • I got to get this to New York by tomorrow morning.

  • I'm sorry, sir, but we're closed.

  • Very well.

  • I was out.

  • Is that Katie?

  • Is that Katie?

  • I was out!

  • I was out.

  • I was out!

  • I was out. Please, God.

  • I know I was out.

  • Yeah.

  • Open it.

  • ...are yawning up widely in our path.

  • We know the way of the righteous man.

  • Daddy.

  • - Daddy? - No.

  • - You're not Katie. - I need help.

  • Please.

  • You're not real.

  • I'm cold.

  • - You're not Katie. - So cold.

  • I love you, Daddy.

  • Don't you love me anymore?

  • Of course I do, sweetheart.

  • There we go. I got you.

  • I got you now, Katie.

  • - Oh my God. - They won't let me stay.

  • - Yes, they will. - They won't let me stay.

  • - What? - They won't let me stay.

  • No no no no no. Nobody's ever going to take you away again.

  • I got you now, Katie. Oh my God.

  • - I'm not gonna let you go. - Do you love me, Daddy?

  • Of course I do. I love you more than anything in the world.

  • I wish we could stay together,

  • you, me, and Mommy.

  • We can, we can. I got you right here.

  • I got you right here, sweetie. Everything's fine.

  • Everything is fine.

  • No. No.

  • No. No.

  • You can't take her twice.

  • You can't.

  • Not again. Please, God.

  • You can't.

  • Please.

  • No!

  • No.

  • You bastard.

  • You little...

  • where is it?

  • Where?! Where?!

  • Why don't you just kill me?

  • Because all guests of this hotel enjoy free will, Mr. Enslin.

  • You can choose to relive this hour over and over,

  • or you can take advantage of our express checkout system.

  • Mr. Enslin?

  • Are you ready to check out, Mr. Enslin?

  • No.

  • - Not your way. - I understand.

  • By the way, Mr. Enslin, your wife just called.

  • She'll be here in five minutes and we'll send her straight up.

  • She's not involved.

  • You can't have her.

  • I'm done arguing with you.

  • I'm gonna end this.

  • Five. This is five.

  • Ignore the siren. Even if you leave this room,

  • you can never leave this room.

  • Eight. This is eight.

  • We have killed your friends.

  • Every friend

  • is now dead.

  • I lived the life of a selfish man.

  • But I don't have to die that way.

  • If I'm going down,

  • I'm taking you with me.

  • This may not all be real,

  • and I may not even be real,

  • but this fire...

  • that's got to be real.

  • Go to hell!

  • Get out onto the street!

  • Out the doors and onto the street, please.

  • Everyone stay calm.

  • - What's going on? - I don't know, lady.

  • This might take a while. Something must have happened.

  • Thanks.

  • Keep quiet, you bastard.

  • Please, you've gotta help me. No, help me.

  • - Calm down. - My husband's inside.

  • My husband's inside. You've gotta help him.

  • You've gotta help him, please!

  • - We need an ambulance. - What floor? What floor?

  • 14th floor, 1408. Mike Enslin.

  • Please come here.

  • You're wasting your time.

  • We're here to do the job,

  • and we don't rattle.

  • The decor is in tatters

  • and the staff surly.

  • But on the Shiver Scale...

  • I award the Dolphin 10 skulls!

  • Never kill more than you can eat.

  • Daddy, everyone dies.

  • We commend to Almighty God our brother,

  • and we commit his body to the ground,

  • earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

  • dust to dust.

  • May you rest in peace.

  • - Amen. - Amen

  • Well, they're together now.

  • Ok, let's go!

  • Mrs. Enslin?

  • I...

  • I am sorry to intrude at such a delicate time,

  • but I knew your husband. I worked at the Dolphin.

  • Oh.

  • While we were cleaning up, we came across some of his belongings.

  • No, thank you.

  • They are of such a personal nature, ma'am.

  • - I figured maybe you would want to.. - No, please.

  • It's not how I want to remember him.

  • I'm sure you understand.

  • Oh yes, yes. Of course I understand.

  • But it's important that you know that he did a great thing.

  • He did not die in vain.

  • What are you talking about?

  • Because of him, the room won't reopen.

  • - All right. - It's been..

  • Okay, stop.

  • Just give the lady some air.

  • She's been through enough, don't you think?

  • Round one goes to the hideous Mr. Olin

  • for effective aggressiveness.

  • I have to admit, he had me going.

  • Get ahold of yourself.

  • You're running to places that aren't real.

  • Daddy,

  • don't you love me anymore?

  • Of course I do, sweetheart.

  • - Don't you love me, Daddy? - Of course I do, honey,

  • more than anything. I got you now.

  • I got you right here, sweetie. Everything's fine.

  • I got you, Katie. Nobody's ever gonna take you away again.

  • Daddy?

  • Daddy! Daddy!

  • Daddy!

  • Daddy!

  • Hey, sweetie.

  • Daddy!

  • Daddy!

  • Yes. Of course.

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1408 經典電影 (1408 (Best Horror))

  • 160 8
    夢想 發佈於 2017 年 11 月 09 日
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