Name: 【TED】Celeste Headlee：10種方法讓你有更好的對話(10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee) (【TED】Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation (10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee))
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T07:09:00.000Z
Duration: 11 min 45 s

to 不定詞

All right, I want to see a show of hands:

好的，我想請大家舉個手表態：

基礎數量詞

how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook

有多少人曾在臉書上因為對方談論了讓你很反感的

過去簡單式

because they said something offensive about politics or religion,

政治或信仰議題而被你刪除好友？

And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid

because you just don't want to talk to them?

You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation,

要知道，在過去想要有一段禮貌性的談話

we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":

我們只需要遵循《窈窕淑女》裡亨利希金斯的忠告：

“Stick to the weather and your health."

只要談論天氣跟你的健康就好。

But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --

但近幾年，氣候變化以及反對疫苗運動的議題 ——

has the potential to devolve into an argument,

where our politicians can't speak to one another

and where even the most trivial of issues

have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal.

都會因為有人激昂地贊成或反對而爭吵，這並不正常

Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults,

皮尤研究中心對一萬名美國成人做了個調查

and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized,

which means we're not listening to each other.

And we make decisions about where to live,

who to marry and even who our friends are going to be,

要跟誰結婚、甚至要跟誰做朋友

Again, that means we're not listening to each other.

我再說一遍，這表示 我們沒有傾聽彼此

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening,

對話是建立在「說跟聽」的平衡之上

and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.

然而不知自何時起我們丟失了那個平衡

The smartphones that you all either have in your hands

or close enough that you could grab them really quickly.

about a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day.

約三分之一的美國青少年每天傳送超過一百條訊息

And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends

其中許多人，甚至可說是大部分的人，更傾向於發訊息給朋友

than they are to talk to them face to face.

There's this great piece in The Atlantic.

《大西洋》雜誌上有篇很棒的文章，

It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell.

作者是位高中老師，保羅．巴恩威

And he gave his kids a communication project.

他給他的孩子們出了一項溝通任務

He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes.

希望教會他們如何不借助筆記， 針對某一話題發表演講

"I came to realize that conversational competence

might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach.

大概是我們最忽略、 沒好好教孩子的能力之一。

Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens,

孩子每天在螢幕前花好幾小時 找想法及跟同儕互動，

to hone their interpersonal communications skills.

磨練他們人與人之間的溝通技巧

It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves:

這問題聽起來很好笑， 但我們得問自己：

more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?"

會比維持一段連貫、 自信的談話更為重要？」

I talk to people that I like. I talk to people that I don't like.

我得跟我喜歡的人交談，我得跟我不喜歡的人交談。

I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level.

跟我個人意見極度相左的人交談。

But I still have a great conversation with them.

但我還是能跟他們開心地聊上一段。

So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk

所以接下來十分鐘， 我要教各位怎麼說話

Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this,

在場許多人都聽過這一類的建議

think of interesting topics to discuss in advance,

look, nod and smile to show that you're paying attention,

注視、點頭並且微笑表示你有在聽

repeat back what you just heard or summarize it.

重覆你剛才聽到的，或者做總結

There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention

根本沒必要去學習如何表現你很專心，

Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer

我其實只是把職業面試者一模一樣的技巧

So, I'm going to teach you how to interview people,

and that's actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists.

這會幫助各位成為更棒的談話者

without wasting your time, without getting bored,

但不讓談話浪費你的時間，也不讓談話讓你覺得無聊

and, please God, without offending anybody.

We've all had really great conversations.

We've had them before. We know what it's like.

大家都有過經驗， 我們知道很棒的對話是什麼樣子

The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired,

那種結束之後令你感到很享受，很受鼓舞的交談

or where you feel like you've made a real connection

或者令你覺得你和別人建立了真實的連結

或者讓你完全得到了他人的理解

why most of your interactions can't be like that.

各位大部分的人際互動不能成為那樣

So I have 10 basic rules. I'm going to walk you through all of them,

我有 10 條基本規則， 我會一條條向各位解釋

but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it,

但說實在的，如果你從中選一條練到爐火純青

you'll already enjoy better conversations.

你就已經可以享受更愉快的對話了

And I don't mean just set down your cell phone

or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand.

平板電腦、車鑰匙， 或者隨便什麽握在手裏的東西。

Don't think about your argument you had with your boss.

Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner.

If you want to get out of the conversation,

【TED】Celeste Headlee：10種方法讓你有更好的對話(10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee) (【TED】Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation (10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee))

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【TED】Celeste Headlee：10種方法讓你有更好的對話(10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee) (【TED】Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation (10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee))

assume

opportunity

realize

applause