I'm going to start with a question.

我要用一個問題作為我的開場

How many of you know the person sitting next to you from before today?

有多少人認識坐在你旁邊的人？

Interesting.

很有趣

So, do you remember the first conversation you ever had with that person?

那你記得你跟那個人的第一個對話嗎？

You know conversations are links.

你知道對話是一種連結

Let's imagine every conversation to be a tiny metal link.

我們可以把每段對話想像成小小的連結

And every time you talk to a stranger,

每次你和一個陌生人聊天時

a metal link is formed.

一個新的連結就形成了

And every conversation that you have after that moment,

每個你的對話結束的瞬間

the link gets stronger and stronger.

這個連結就變得越來越強

And every day each one of us meets so many strangers:

每天，我們每個人都遇見這麼多的陌生人

the grocery guy, the cab guy

雜貨店的夥子、計程車司機

maybe the receptionist at a new office you went to.

你新辦公室的接待員

And with every conversation, we build new links.

隨著每段對話，我們不斷建立新的連結

Until finally at the end,

直到最後

we've created a kind of massive World Wide Web of conversation.

我們創造出對話版的全球資訊網

World Wide Web.

全球資訊網

It's a catchy word. I think I've heard that somewhere.

這是很引人注意的字眼，我想我在其他地方也常聽到

That's it, right? A conversation. It's a fascinating thing.

總之就是如此，對吧？一段對話，是令人著迷的東西

A conversation is an adventure.

一段對話就像是一場冒險

A conversation gives you a whole new perspective.

對話能給你一個全新的觀點

A conversation opens a door.

對話為你打開一道新的門

Conversations can make war and conversations can make peace.

對話可以創造戰爭或和平

And conversations define who we are as a human race.

對話定義了我們作為人類的本質

Think about this.

想想接下來說的話

Every single person in your life was once a stranger to you.

你人生中的每個人都曾經是陌生人

And you knew nothing about them until you had that first conversation.

你對他們一無所知，直到你和他們有了第一段對話

So I'm here today to tell you to talk to strangers,

所以我今天是來叫你和陌生人講話、

and to have a conversation.

開啟一段對話

And I'm here to tell you how.

更重要的是，教你「如何」對話

Seven ways that you can make a conversation with almost anyone.

七種方法讓你幾乎可以跟所有人開啟對話

I'm a radio presenter

我是電台主持人

and I love talking to people.

而我熱愛和人們對話

I do. I love it.

我真的很愛

And I'm so glad that I do it for a living.

我也由衷高興它是我的工作

Here's what my day is like.

我的一天是這樣子的

Every single morning, I go into an empty room,

每個早晨，我走進空蕩的房間

and I put on a mic,

戴上我的麥克風

and I have a conversation with 1.6 million people ...

然後跟 160 萬的民眾對話

that I can't see.

而且我看不到他們

Yeah.

沒錯

You know what the hardest part is, though?

你知道最難的部份是什麼嗎？

It's time.

是時間

In a four-hour show, I get 20 minutes.

這是一個四小時的秀，我只有 20 分鐘

That's all the talk there is.

這就是所有對話的時間了

And in 20 minutes I have to convince you that I am your best friend.

在這個短短的 20 分鐘，我必須說服你，我是你最好的朋友

How do I do that?

我是怎麼做到的？

How do I establish a connection?

我怎麼建立連結？

I have 20 minutes to inform you, to excite you, to engage with you

我有 20 分鐘讓你充滿新知、讓你興奮、和你交流

but most importantly,

但最重要的是

20 out of the 20 times that I switch on that mic,

每一次我打開那支麥克風

I have to leave a smile on your face.

我一定要在你臉上留下笑容

Except, I can't see you, I know nothing about you,

除了，我沒辦法見到你、對你一無所知

and I have no way of gauging your reactions.

也沒有辦法評估你的反應

How do you do it? How do you talk to a stranger?

你要怎麼做到？你要怎麼跟陌生人聊天？

Well, my nine years in radio have taught me these simple little tricks.

我九年的電台經驗教了我一些簡單的小撇步

Strangers,

陌生人

they are everywhere.

他們充斥在所有的地方

And we've always been told, "Don't talk to strangers!"

也總是被教導「不要跟陌生人講話」

But I beg to differ.

但我要你做不同的事

Every stranger comes with an opportunity,

每個陌生人都伴隨著一個機會

an opportunity to learn something new,

一個學習新東西的機會

an opportunity to have an experience you've never had

一個讓你擁有全新體驗的機會

or hear a story that you've never heard before.

或者是聽一個你從沒聽過的故事

And you've had that moment, right?

你有過這種時刻吧？

You're in the room with someone you don't know,

你和陌生人身處一房

and you look across the room, you see a stranger, and you think,

你打量整個房間、你看見一個陌生人，然後你想

"I want to talk to this person."

「我想跟那個人說話」

And you can almost hear the first word but it just won't come out,

而你幾乎聽見第一個字，但它就是無法吐出

it kind of gets stuck about here,

有點卡在喉嚨之間

it kind of goes up and down

不上不下

and you don't know -

而且你也不知道該怎麼辦

You know what?

你知道嗎？

Here's my advice: Just say it.

這裡是我的建議：就說出來吧！

What's the worst that can happen?

最糟的情況是什麼？

They won't talk to you? Well, they're not talking to you now.

他們不跟你說話？ 不過他們現在已經不跟你說話啦！

The first word floodgates.

第一個字就像是水閘門

I truly believe that the first word acts as a floodgate.

我真心認為第一個字就像是水閘門一樣

You know, once you said the first word, everything else just flows.

你只要說了第一個字，其他的就自然而然地流出了

So keep it simple.

所以挑簡單一點的

A "Hi," a "Hey," a "Hello."

一個「嗨」，「嘿」，「你好」

And do what every good bowler does.

然後學學投手

Just gather the enthusiasm, the positivity, the energy,

只要匯集了你的熱情、正向和能量

put on a big smile and say, "Hi!"

臉上掛上大大的笑容然後說「嗨！」

I know. There's going to be that strange moment right now.

我知道，接下來就會有個尷尬的瞬間

Turn to someone sitting next to you, stick your hand out and say hello.

轉向坐你旁邊的人，伸出你的手說你好

Go on.

快點啊！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I love the awkward laughter.

我超愛尷尬的笑聲

"Why is she making us do this?"

「她幹嘛叫我們做這個？」

The first word floodgates.

第一個字眼是水閘門

You know, here's a challenge we face every day.

你們知道，每天我們都要面對的挑戰

Time.

是時間

We have 90 seconds on radio,

我們在電台有 90 秒

and we have to make that conversation with a stranger memorable.

而我們必須讓那段對話印象深刻

So how do you do it?

所以到底要怎麼做？

What's the biggest challenge?

最大的挑戰是什麼？

Honestly,

老實說，

if we get stuck in the rut of:

如果我們被困在

"Hi!" "Hey!"

嗨！嘿！

"How are you?" "I'm fine."

你好嗎？我很好？

"What's going on?" "Nothing much."

最近忙嗎？沒什麼事

"Same old." "So tell me what's new?"

老樣子！告訴我有什麼新鮮事？

There you go, 45 seconds down, wasted.

然後 45 秒就被浪費了

Right?

對吧？

So, here's my advice:

下一個是我的建議

skip the small talk and ask a really personal question.

挑過這些寒暄，然後問一個私人的問題

And don't be afraid.

不要害怕

Trust me.

相信我

You will be surprised how much people are willing to share if you just ask.

只要你問，你會很驚訝人們有多願意分享

So ask any kind of personal question.

所以只要問任何一個私人的問題

Maybe: Interesting name.

也許是有趣的名字

How did your parents think of it? Is there a story behind it?

為什麼你的父母會取這個名字呢？有故事嗎？

Or ...

或

How long have you lived in this city?

你住在這個城市多久了？

And do you remember the first day you landed here?

你記得第一天來到這個地方嗎？

You see, answers to those questions are always something unique,

這些問題的答案永遠都很獨特

always something personal.

永遠都很私人

My favorite one to try is:

我最喜歡的是

Where do you come from? And where does your family live?

你來自哪裡？你家人住在哪？

Unfailingly,

永遠不會失敗

every single time I sit in a cab, I do this.

每次我搭計程車的時候，我都這麼做

I ask that question.

我問這個問題

Where do you come from? And where does your family live?

你來自哪裡？你家人住在哪？

Let me tell you a little story.

讓我跟你們分享一個小故事

I was coming home one night ...

有一晚我要回家

I get into this taxi, open the door, sit down and I say,

我坐進計程車、打開門坐下之後，我說

"Where are you from? Where does your family live?"

「你來自哪裡？你家人住在哪？」

And the 60-year-old Pakistani cab-driver goes on to tell me

然後這個六十歲的巴基斯坦計程車司機源源不絕地告訴我

all about his life in Peshawar.

他在白沙瓦的人生

We talked about politics,

我們聊政治

we talked about music, family, his wife, his farm.

聊音樂、家人、他的妻子、還有他的農場

And 20 minutes later, he is convinced that I am the perfect bride

20 分鐘後，他堅信我是最適合的新娘

for his 26-year-old college-educated son from Peshawar.

給他 26 歲大學畢業的兒子

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And as I'm getting out of the taxi,

當我要離開計程車時

he is taking out a passport-sized photograph with this look of enthusiasm.

他正拿出他兒子的證件照，用這種充滿熱情的樣子

I have to say, it was a very difficult goodbye.

我必須說，這是個很困難的道別

But the moral of the story, really,

但是這個故事的寓意告訴我們

is what starts with a "Hello" can end with a marriage proposal.

一個「你好」可以導致一個求婚

And that is a warning.

這是一個警告

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Step three.

第三步驟

Find the "me too"s.

找到「我也是」

Have you ever met someone

你有沒有遇見一種人

who starts a conversation like they're starting a debate?

他們對話起來像在辯論？

"I am from Delhi." "I hate Delhi."

「我來自德里」 「我討厭德里」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Yeah? Nothing kills a conversation like a negative.

沒有什麼東西比負面回應更能殺死一段對話了

When you meet someone for the first time

當你第一次見到某人

make an effort to find the one thing

試著去找找

that you and that other person might have in common.

你跟那個人的共同之處

When you start at that point and then move outward from there,

當你從那點開始，並由此延伸

you will find that all of a sudden the conversation becomes a lot easier.

突然間你會發現對話變得很輕快

And that's because both of you suddenly are on the same side of something.

那是因為，你們兩個人突然站在某件事上的同一邊

And that's a really powerful feeling.

這真的是很強大的感覺

Now, what could you possibly have in common with a stranger you ask?

你跟一個陌生人會有什麼共同之處呢？

Could be anything, right?

可能是任何事對吧？

You're both in the same place at the same time,

你們此時此刻都身處一樣的地方

maybe you're from the same country,

也許你們來自同樣的國家

maybe you both like the winter

也許你們都很愛冬天

or you're longing for it to rain.

或是你們們很渴望下雨

I don't know, you'd find something.

我不知道，你會找到的！

When you find a "me too",

當你找到一個「我也是」

you automatically have a kind of buy-in from the other person.

你自然而然地有種從那個人身上獲得了什麼的感覺

Trust me, that's helpful.

相信我，這很有幫助

Pay a unique compliment.

做一個獨特的稱讚

I read somewhere that people will forget what you do,

我在某處讀過人們會忘記你做了什麼

and they'll forget what you say,

忘記你說了什麼

but they will never forget how you made them feel.

但永遠不會忘記你給他們的感覺

So be generous.

所以要大方點

And go out and give someone a nice full compliment.

給那個人一個很恰當的稱讚

So, I have this belief about a "compliment immunity meter",

我相信「稱讚免疫系統」這個概念

and it comes from this experience I had

這個來自我個人的經驗

when I met this gorgeous supermodel.

我遇到一個美麗的超級名模

And I look at her and I say,

我看著她說

"Wow! You are beautiful!"

「天哪！你長得好美！」

And there is no reaction on her face.

然後她臉上沒有任何的反應

And I think to myself, "How?"

我就想「怎麼會這樣？」

That's when I realized,

這時我就瞭解了

she is immune to the word "beautiful."

她已經對「美麗」這個字眼免疫了

She's probably heard it a hundred thousand times today.

她今天大約已經聽了一百次、一千次

And if she's on social media,

如果她有在社群媒體網站上

she's heard it a million times today.

今天她大概就聽了一百萬次了

There are some words that each of us have developed an immunity to.

有些稱讚的字眼我們已經免疫無感的

It could be "nice," it could be "awesome," it could be "cool" ...

像是很好、很棒、不錯

Stay away from these.

遠離這些字眼

Try and construct a compliment that's unique and genuine,

試著說出一段獨特又真誠的稱讚

and you don't have to lie.

而你不需要說謊

Really.

真的

When you look at someone and say,

當你看著某人說

"I love how when you smile,

「我喜歡當你微笑時

it's like your nose smiles, and then your eyes smile,

就好像你的鼻子先笑了、然後是你的雙眼、

and your ears smile, even your forehead smiles

你的耳朵、甚至你的額頭也笑了

and suddenly, the whole person is just smiling."

突然間，你整個人都微笑著」

You see,

你看

I hope that's a compliment you're not going to forget for a while.

我希望這是一段你不會忘記的稱讚

Pay a unique and genuine compliment.

付出一段獨特又真誠的稱讚

Ask for an opinion.

問問意見、看法

All of us have opinions. Trust me.

每個人都有很多的想法，相信我

And we all want them to be heard

而我們都渴望被傾聽

and everybody wants validation.

每個人都渴望被認同

So go on and ask for an opinion,

所以就問問人們他們的看法吧！

and that's when you open up a two-way street.

此時你就能打開雙向溝通的通道

That is when the real communication begins,

此時就是真正的溝通開始的時刻

and you will be surprised how much you can pick up about a person

而你會對你能更了解一個人的程度感到驚訝

just by asking their opinion on something pretty generic.

只要問問他們對一些普通事物的意見

Here's a mistake that some people make.

這裡有個錯誤人們常常犯

They ask your opinion about something really difficult.

他們會問你對於超級艱難議題的意見

It feels almost intimidating.

這感覺起來就像是恐嚇了

Somewhere in a room, full of very well-informed people,

一個充滿高知識份子的房間

and someone was to come up to me and say,

有人朝我走過來然後說

"So what do you think about the way

「所以你對於

the oil prices have affected the real estate market in Dubai?"

油價影響杜拜房產的議題有什麼看法？」

I feel a bit cornered.

我覺得有點陷入窘境

I feel like I might fail, and this is an examination,

我覺得我的答案可能會不及格，而且這是場考試

and that's the lesson.

這就是個教訓：

Nobody needs to fail at a first-time conversation.

每有人需要在第一次對話「不及格」

Just ask something simple. Keep it generic.

只要問很簡單的事情，讓它很大眾化

How do you like your coffee?

你喜歡你的咖啡嗎？

When did you watch your last movie? What did you think of it?

你上次看你最後一部電影是什麼時候？你覺得如何？

And when somebody gives you their opinion:

當某人給你他的想法時

really listen.

就注意聽！

Don't listen to reply. Listen to listen.

不要為了回應而聽，要為了聽而聽

There's a difference.

差異在於，

And that brings me to my next point.

而這也帶出我下一個論點

Be present.

身在當下

I know you've been through this.

我知道你一定經歷過這件事

I know I have.

我知道我有過

You're pouring your heart out to someone,

當你對某人掏心掏肺

and they are like this,

而他們卻這樣子

"Yeah, yeah, go on, keep talking.

「恩好喔，請繼續、繼續說吧，

I can multitask!

我有在聽！

What's with Wi-Fi?"

Wi-Fi 怎麼了？」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You know, when someone's trying to communicate with you,

你知道當有人想要跟你交流

the least you can do is really be in that conversation.

你至少要做到待在那段對話中

Just be wholeheartedly present,

只要全心的聆聽

just be there.

就待在那裡！

And - oh! - my favorite part: make eye contact.

然後，我最喜歡的部份：做眼神交流

Trust me, eye contact is where all the magic happens.

相信我，眼神是魔法開始的地方

You can feel the conversation.

你能感覺到對話

And trust me, when you are looking at someone in the eye,

而且當你看著某人的眼睛時