the fact thatyou like me? I like that when I

[笑聲] 我喜歡當我走出來時

walk out here you're all in the seats

你們都在你們應該在的座位上

that you're supposed to be in. Sometimes

有時當你們拍手時可能會移動幾個位子

when you clap you move over a few seats

但結束後你們很快就會回到原本的座位了

but then you end up back in the seat you're

這對你們很簡單

supposed to be in, and it's easy for you

但對於我的某些員工這似乎不那麼簡單

but it's not an easy for some people on

在我週末回顧艾倫秀的時候 我注意到了一件事

my staff. I was watching the show this

其實發生的當天我就有注意到

weekend, and I noticed something.

但我沒有想過它會真正出現在螢幕上

Well, I noticed that the day that it

不過 這就是我看到的

happened but I didn't think they would

>>現在她來了 >>艾倫·狄珍妮！

actually be on television but this is

[掌聲及歡呼聲]

what I watched. >>Here she is now. Ellen Degeneres!

好的 我不知道你們有沒有注意到那個陰影部分

Alright, I don't know if you saw the

讓我們再更清楚的看一次陰影部分

shadowy part. Let's watch it again and

>>現在她來了 >>艾倫·狄珍妮！

just watch that little shadowy party. >>Here she is now. Ellen Degeneres!

[笑聲]

So that's Andy Lassner that he has been

所以那是Andy Lassner

repeatedly repeatedly told not to get

他已經被重複 重複的告知不要靠近我

that close to me

[笑聲]

Andy Lassner is one of my executive producers

Andy Lassner是我的執行製作人的其中一位

the same Andy Lassner who accidentally turned

也是那個意外把攝影棚所有電源關閉 而使節目延滯兩個小時的Andy

off all of the electricity in the studio

對吧？

shutting down the entire show for about

大約是兩個小時左右吧

two hours, right? It was like, two hours or

>>的確是很長一段時間

something like that. >>It was a long time.

艾莉西亞·凱斯已經在等待表演開始了

Alicia Keys was waiting to perform but

但整個攝影棚都停電了

there was no power. He had accidently

原因是他曾意外的靠在開關上

leaned against the switch

[笑聲]

Same Andy Lassner who can't say balls

也是那個沒有辦法在說球這個字的時候 不笑出來的Andy（註一）

without giggling. Same Andy Lassner who

[笑聲]

went to a haunted house and used his

也是那個在鬼屋裡把助理當作人形盾牌的Andy

assistant as a human shield

[笑聲及掌聲]

so you think with the word executive

所以你知道你職位中的「執行」兩個字

in your title, you'd know when the show

代表的是你知道艾倫秀開始的時間吧？

starting right? You're wearing a headset

你帶著耳麥

they're counting down Maybe because you're

聽著他們倒數

new. How long have you been here Andy?

或許是因為你是新來的吧

>>14 years, Ellen. 14 years.

Andy 你在這裡工作多久了？

All right. So i wanna

[笑聲]

make sure you're not wandering around

>>14年 艾倫

anymore, so I picked a, I went to PetSmart

14年 [笑聲]

I picked something up

好吧

Zenor, let's put that around him.

所以我想要確保你不會再到處亂晃

There you go. Make sure you have water.

所以我去Petsmart幫你挑了一些東西

You know what? I love you so much, Andy.

Zenor 把東西放到他四周吧

I really, I love you so much. Just, just

[笑聲]

being you makes me happy

>>哇

It looks like one of those things, when you play badminton those things,

請便 確認一下你有沒有水

what are they called, like a shuttlecock?

[笑聲]

Andy, what's it called?

你知道嗎？ Andy 我真的很愛你

>>[LAUGH] >>Shuttlecock [LAUGH]

真的 我很愛你

>>Sir, have you ever had a flu shot before?

光是做你自己就讓我很開心了

I have never met a flu shot.

[音樂]

>>Okay, well I have to give you this. >>Is this real?

他看起來像是打羽球的時候會看到的一個東西

Yep.

那叫什麼..像是羽球毛之類的嗎？（註二）

>>Okay. >>It's not a real needle.

Andy 那叫什麼？

>>Oh!

[笑聲] >>羽..羽毛球 [笑聲]

>>Hold still.

>>先生， 您打過流感疫苗嗎？

>>Or is this almost done?

>>我從沒打過流感疫苗

>>Aah!

>>好的，那我必須將這個給您 >>這是真的嗎？

>>Wow, go, go, go, keep moving, keep moving, they can't get you if you move.

是的 >>是

>>Oh my gos, my god, my god, Aah!

>>好的 >>那不是真的針吧

>>What about a little hot wax?

>>噢！

Yes, hot wax- >>On Andy. Let's do some hot wax.

[笑聲] >>不要動

>>It's not gonna hurt.

>>快結束了嗎？

>>No, it's not hot.

>>啊！

>>Pick your person up. >>Oh no.

>>走走走 繼續走 繼續走！

>>Tuck your chin in, okay?

>>要一直移動他們才不會抓到你

>>Okay.

>>天啊天啊天啊 啊！

>>[Bleep] Stop.

[笑聲]

Well, I do love you. I really do.

>>來一點熱蠟如何？

>>I love you, too.

是！熱蠟！