there's a question of manhood if you don't kill the spider.

(fun music)

- When I first saw what does it mean to be a man,

I was kinda stumped 'cause I don't really think

about questions like that.

- Ah, yes, gender.

Let's talk.

- It's a tough, not that we have it tough,

but it's a very interesting time I think for a man.

We're kinda under the microscope.

- I mean, being raised by a man,

you get held to certain responsibilities of being a man.

- I have a lot of cliche ideas of what it means to be a man

'cause my dad was a big Arnold Schwarzenegger fan

and Sylvester Stallone fan.

- And you get this idea of what a man is supposed to be.

Holds his emotions in, is very strong,

is the man of the house and now as I get older,

it's like all that stuff's just taught.

- From a very young age, we start to tell boys

no, you can't cry.

No, you have to feel this way.

You have to act a certain way.

You have to look a certain way.

You have to be a man.

- If you get hurt on the field, so what?

Go worry about that later.

You're a man, man up.

Go hard, get the next tackle, get the next interception.

- In college, all we did was lift weights.

It was like who could lift the most weights

and there was this guy,

this guy Andy who would come around

and if you were on a piece of equipment,

he'd come up to you and make it more weight

and then just do a couple in front of you

and then walk to the other guy,

jump on his machine, put more weight on it and just do more.

- I think that men have heart attacks

because their emotions go inward as opposed to outward.

- Suicide rates of men are almost twice as high as females

because we are told to hide our emotions.

We can't seek help, we have to be strong.

We have to handle things ourselves

and that's where the problems become damaging.

We have a lot of things working in our favor

but we have to be able to recognize

and acknowledge what isn't so we can help and grow.

- I can't cry around other people, you know what I'm saying?

It's just my thing but those crying times

are very essential to keeping yourself together.

It's almost like

you're washing something away

and it's nurturing you to come back even stronger.

- When I think about being a man,

I do think about aspects of responsibility

and how we kind of have a responsibility to do good

'cause I think there are a lot of negative

associations with manhood.

- It's not this sense where I'm just like,

oh, I suck 'cause I'm a man like I'm the worst,

I'm responsible for all these things.

All I can do is just be a person who listens

and is receptive to new information

and new life experiences.

- And I think that there are so many minute aspects

of our society that sort of diminish a woman's importance

and they're hard to see

and as a man, we don't have to see them

so often, we're just blind to them

and so when a woman brings up

that they're not treated the same way

or that they face a pressure

and that they face these subtle disadvantages,

we go like, well, I didn't experience that

so how can that be true?

What is the statement?

Empathy is the hardest for those in power.

I feel like that's very telling.

- The definitions of manhood must change

if society is truly going to progress and evolve.

- I think people are people.

I don't see myself any better or any worse

'cause we're all trying to get along.

What more could you say?

(relaxing music)