I'm a celebrity mentor stylist.

我是名人造型導師。

So today, I am joined by my fiance, Dorian.

今天我的未婚夫 Dorian 會加入我們。

- Hello.

- 哈囉！

- The reason why I wanted Dorian, actually, to be in today's video is because he's probably one of the best conversationalists that I know.

- 其實我想要 Dorian來參與我們今天的影片的原因 是因為他很可能是我認識的人之中最頂尖的談話高手之一。

So, that's why I wanted him to just come on the channel and really help us all out with today's topic.

這就是為甚麼我希望他來我們頻道，在今天的主題上幫助我們。

- Thank you, very high praise, I'll take it.

- 謝謝，非常高的讚譽，我就收下了（笑聲）

I have definitely struggled with being able to get into conversations with people.

我在跟人開啟話題這方面有很大的困難。

I can always maintain them,

我總是可以維持對談，

but I've always had trouble just, and I think it's because I'm shy,

但我就是無法...我覺得是因為我比較害羞 ，

but I've always had difficulty getting into a conversation with someone.

但我總是難以開啟與他人的談話。

- And getting out of them.

- 還有，結束一場對話。

- Let's be honest. - Yes, and getting outta them.

- 讓我們誠實點。 - 是的，結束一場對話。

- But Dorian has been really helpful with getting me better at being a better conversationalist.

但 Dorian 非常有效地幫助我進步，成為一位更好的談話者 。

So, let's get into the best conversation starters.

所以，讓我們進到「最佳開場白」。

Number seven is,

第七名是

do you know where the restroom/bar/food area is?

你知道廁所、吧檯、食物區在哪裡嗎？

- The hardest thing in a conversation is to start it.

- 聊天最難的地方是去開啟一段對話。

That it is, like that's the most difficult thing.

它就是，就像...它是最難的事。

Once you're in it, it's relatively simple.

一旦你進到了談話當中，那就相對簡單許多了。

So, you always want to ask someone a question that's kind of disarming that they can easily answer for you,

所以你要問一個容易讓人卸下心防的問題，他們可以輕易地回答你，

or they can even say I don't know.

或他們可以就說他們不知道。

So, that is like the quickest, easiest thing, and it doesn't matter on the venue,

所以它是最快、最簡單的問題，不管在哪個場地，

whether it's a big event or a conference or even a house party.

在大型活動還是會議或只是轟趴。

They won't even remember that you needed to know where the restroom or bar is.

他們甚至不會記得你需要知道廁所或吧檯在哪。

They don't even know the reason anyway,

反正他們也不用知道背後的原因，

so it's not like you have to immediately leave.

不是說你馬上就要離開。

I think a lot of people would say, well, okay, they told me, but now I have to leave.

我想大多數的人會覺得，嗯，好的，他們回答我了，現在我就得離開了。

No, no, no, you just keep the...

不，不，不，你就留下...

now you're in the conversation, that's the beauty of it.

你現在已經進入一場對話當中了，這就是重點。

- Now go with it. - Yeah, go with it!

- 繼續下去吧！- 沒錯！繼續談話吧！

Number six is going up to someone and saying, hey, so where are you from exactly?

第六名：去找一個人然後說：「嘿！你來自哪裡？」

Or, are you from around here?

你是這附近的人嗎？

- That's like a good one,

- 這個很好 ，

because especially if someone doesn't look like they're a part of a crew,

尤其是當一個人看起來不像某個團體的一員，

or they're kind of, I use that one a lot on, if people are off by themselves or a little small group.

或他們有點...我很常用這個，如果有落單的或一小群人。

It's usually more of a one-on-one kind of thing.

這比較適合一對一聊天時使用。

It's hard to walk up to a group and then say that,

比較難能夠走到一群人當中然後問這個，

and the group was like, well who are you talking to?

這樣的話，那群人會覺得：「你在跟誰講話？」

- Where are you all from?

「你們都來自哪裡呀？」

- Yeah, that's a good one if it's an individual person and you're just trying to make conversation,

- 是啊，如果對象只有一人的話，這招滿好用，你只是試圖要去聊天，

and you kinda zoned in on them.

然後你能稍微聚焦在他們身上。

That's a great one to start out with.

這是個很好開頭。

It's really easy to answer, again, you‘re just looking to start a conversation.

這非常好回答，你只是想要開啟一場對話。

You don't wanna hit them with a heavy question, that's pretty weird.

你不是想要丟個很沉重的問題，那樣很奇怪。

Number five is actually something that Dorian has taught me and has worked very well,

第五名是 Dorian 教過我的而且非常有用，

and that is if someone is holding a plate of food or a drink,

就是如果有人正拿著一盤食物或飲料，

you just go up to them like, oh hey, that looks really good, what is that?

你就走上前，嘿！那看起來很棒，那是甚麼？

Where'd you get the from?

你從哪裡拿的？

- It's like a super easy one.

一個超簡單的方法

It like, again, they can answer it very simply.

同樣地，他們可以輕鬆應答。

It's not offensive in any way,

也不會很冒犯。

and then you have the conversation of "oh, is it good?"

然後你的對話就可以繼續聊說：「喔！那好吃嗎？」

Like, oh, what do you like to drink normally?

或是說，「喔！你平常都喜歡喝什麼？」

or do you eat that kind of food normally,

或「你平常會吃那種食物嗎？」

or even then you go into... the beauty is, all of these conversation starters,

或你可以繼續說... 最棒的地方就是，剛剛所講的開場白，

you can use all the other ones to keep the conversation going.

你都可以拿其他的用來繼續對談。

Oh, so "where are you from, exactly?"

「喔！所以你來自哪裡？」

Oh, "hey, actually, do you know where the restroom is?" or... whatever.

「嘿！你知道廁所在哪嗎？」或都可以。

You know... you could use, you can combine them all together and now you're in a pretty decent conversation.

你知道，你可以把所有東西結合在一起，然後你就有一場非常流暢的對話了。

So, again, that's just a great opening line,

所以，那只是個開場白，

'cause someone's got something in their hands,

因為有人手上有東西，

it's easy to talk about.

就很容易以那為話題聊開。

- Number four on the list is very similar to number five,

第四名跟第五名很像，

and that is when you go up to someone and you say,

那就是你上前跟某人談話，你說，

Hey, I really like your shirt.

「嘿！我真的很喜歡你的衣服。」

Where'd you get that from?

「你在哪裡買的？」

- And my answer is, Ashley got it for me.

- 而我的答案是「Ashley 買給我的。」

- People love compliments.

- 大家都喜歡被讚美。

It instantly lets their guard down.

你會直接卸除他們的防衛心。

So, I always try to, especially if I just can't think of anything,

所以尤其是我想不到任何話題的時候，

I'll just compliment them on something that they're wearing,

我就會直接誇讚他們的穿著，

and ask them where did they get it, or something like that.

並且問他們哪裡買的之類的。

Number three is, so "what was the best part of your day?"

第三名是，「你今天發生最棒的事是什麼？」

- I included this one because I was asked this question maybe like 10, 15 years ago,

- 我把這句加進來是因為我大概在 10、15 年以前被問過這題，

and it stuck with me ever since.

然後我就再也忘不了它。

It was like, such a nice change.

就是說，真是個好的變化。

I was an entertainment executive for a long time.

我過去當了很久的娛樂部執行長。

So, I was at meetings, meeting new people all the time,

所以我總是經常開會，並碰到很多人，

and out of all the years I was doing all that,

這些年我都在做這些事，

interfacing with a lot of strangers and new people,

接觸很多陌生人跟遇到新的人，

one person asked me that question and it stuck with me ever since,

有個人問我那個問題然後我就再也忘不了，

and it was such a great question.

這真是個好問題。

It made me feel good that someone would ask that question.

有人問了這個問題讓我感覺很好。

I was like, oh, this one's amazing.

我覺得，這真是太棒了

Bit of a gamble, depending on the group, obviously.

但有點風險，還是要取決於你身處在哪裡。

But I would say that that is one that will kind of put someone back on their heels just a little bit.

但我會說這個問題有可能會讓人感到有點不自在。

So, if you're not really that comfortable with that kind of, it's a bit of a bold question to start with,

所以，如果你對問這種大膽的問題感到不舒服，

but I will tell you I've remembered that question ever since that day,

但我會跟你說自從那天之後我就忘不了了，

and I felt like it was a really, really good one.

而我覺得這是個很好的問題。

I've used it on other people, and they said the same thing, like, "That's like a great question".

我曾經用在別人身上，他們也跟我有一樣的想法「這是個非常好的問題。」

- And then they... - People will remember you by that.

-然後他們... - 人們會因此記得你。

- Definitely, definitely.

- 沒錯，絕對是這樣。

- Number two is something that I use a lot,

第二名我很常用，

and I know Dorian does as well, and that is,

我知道 Dorian 也是，那就是，

so, "what brought you here tonight or today?" et cetera.

「你今晚怎麼會來？」或今天，等等。

So, this is great if you're at a bar or some kind of event that's not hosted by someone specifically,

這很好用，如果你在酒吧或是一些不是由某人特別主辦的活動的話，

but it's a really easy way to get into a conversation.

這非常好幫你開啟對談。

- Yeah.

- 沒錯。

So, someone has a reason for going everywhere.

每個人都有去一些地方的理由。

So, they're not... Even if they don't have a reason, like, "I don't know, I just came with my friend."

所以他們不會... 即使他們沒有理由 「我不知道，我只是跟我朋友來。」

Oh, "who's your friend?" - Yeah.

「喔！是嗎？那你朋友是誰？」- 對。

- Like, you're already immediately into a conversation again.

- 你馬上就進入了一段新的對話。

So, it's a really, really great one.

所以那真的是個很好的選擇。

That's my go-to for sure.

那當然是我會用的。

- Especially because it's not a yes or no,

- 尤其它不是個回答是或否就好的問題，

and it's not a quick answer, usually.

也通常不是簡短的答案。

So, their answer... They're probably giving a lot of good information that you can kinda hook onto,

所以，他們的答案... 他們可能會給你很多很好的訊息，讓你很好接下去聊，

and then form your next question.

然後想出下一個問題。

So, the number one conversation starter that you should use,

第一名的開場白你應該使用的，

and it's kinda similar, actually, to number two,

其實也跟第二個很像，

and that is, going up to someone and saying,

就是上前並說，

"hi, so how do you know so-and-so?"

「所以你是怎麼知道誰誰誰的？」

Which means the so-and-so is the host of the event.

誰誰誰指的是這場活動的主辦。

- You, for the longest time, couldn't wrap your head around this question,

- 你以前總是不能理解這個問題，

but I'm like, if you're invited somewhere by the host,

但我是說，如果你被主辦人邀請，

the people at the same place are probably also invited by the host, so now you have a common ground already.

在這裡的人也很可能是被主辦人邀請來的，那你們就有共通點了。

So, it's not like this person's like, "well, what the hell, who are you?"

所以它不會像是說「搞甚麼東西，你是誰啊？」

like, "why would you even ask me that question?"

「你為甚麼要問我這個問題？」

You always found it so weird, and I'm like, just try it when you're at a party. - Now, we use it all the time.

你總覺得很怪，而我就會覺得你就試試看啊。- 現在我們都很常用它。

- If we're at a party hosted by someone specific,

- 如果我們在一個被某個特定人舉辦的派對中，

I'm always, I will go up to people now and I have no qualms, and I'm like, "hey, so how do you know Charlie?"

我總是，我現在會上前而且不會感到不安，我會說「嘿！你怎麼認識 Charlie 的？」

It's great.

這很棒

This is so easy now.

現在對我來說很容易。

And then, I get to learn a lot of cool information that maybe my host wouldn't have told me about that person.

然後我就會得到有關主辦人之前都沒告訴過我很多很酷的資訊。

- Yeah, you already have common ground to stand on and discuss, so use it.

- 沒錯，你已經有了共通點可以討論，所以好好用它吧。

- If you like this video, remember to give it a thumbs up.

- 如果你喜歡這部影片，記得按個讚。

Subscribe to my channel for more videos like this,

想看更多像這樣的影片記得訂閱我的頻道，

and thank you so much, Dorian, for being here,

謝謝 Dorian 的參與，

- You're welcome, it's my pleasure.

- 不客氣，這是我的榮幸。

- And sharing your wisdom.

- 並且分享你的知識。

Like I said at the top, Dorian is incredible at getting into and then maintaining conversations.

就像我一開始說的，Dorian 很能開啟並持續一段對話。

So, these are gonna be really helpful, they've helped me.

所以這會非常實用，他們有幫助到我。

So, I know if they've helped me,

所以如果他們能幫助到我，

they're definitely gonna help you.

也絕對能幫助到你。

Hope you all enjoy.

希望你們喜歡。

- And I was never a great conversationalist growing up.

- 我從來都不是個健談的人。

I had to learn the hard way when I was an entertainment executive.

當我是娛樂部門執行長時我很辛苦地學習這些東西。

I just got thrown into all these random situations.

我就是被丟到這些隨機的場合當中。

So, these are the things that I've learned over the years.

這些事我在這些年學到的。

I'm telling you, they work, and I am not...

我告訴你，他們有效，而我不是...

- Tried and true. - Yeah.

- 經得起考驗。

I am not like an outgoing sort of guy.

我不是那種很外向的人。

I can do it if I need to, but that is not my default.

如果我需要的話我會這麼做，但那不是我的本性。

So, trust it, use them, love them.

所以相信它們，用它們，愛它們。

- Alright. We need to get outta here.

- 好的，我們該閃了。

- Yeah, I'm done.

- 好，我說完了。

- This video's done. See you next month. Bye.

影片就到這邊。下個月見，拜拜。