- The reason why I wanted Dorian, actually, to be in today's video is because
he's probably one of the best conversationalists that I know.
So, that's why I wanted him to just come on the channel
and really help us all out with today's topic.
- Thank you, very high praise, I'll take it.
I have definitely struggled with being able to get into conversations with people.
I can always maintain them, but I've always had trouble just, and I think it's because I'm shy, but I've always had difficulty getting into a conversation with someone--
- And getting out of them.
Let's be honest. - Yes, and getting outta them.
- But Dorian has been really helpful with getting me better at being a better conversationalist.
So, let's get into the best conversation starters.
Number seven is,
do you know where the restroom, bar, food area is?
- The hardest thing in a conversation is to start it.
That it is, like that's the most difficult thing.
Once you're in it, it's relatively simple.
So, you always want to ask someone a question
that's kind of disarming that they can easily answer for you,
or they can even say I don't know.
So, that is like the quickest, easiest thing,
and it doesn't matter on the venue,
whether it's a big event or a conference or even a house party.
They won't even remember that you needed to know where the restroom or bar is.
They don't even know the reason anyway,
so it's not like you have to immediately leave.
I think a lot of people would say,
well, okay, they told me, but now I have to leave.
No, no, no, you just keep the...
now you're in the conversation, that's the beauty of it.
- Now go with it.
- Yeah, go with it!
- Number six is going up to someone and saying, hey, so where are you from exactly?
Or, are you from around here?
- That's like a good one,
because especially if someone doesn't look like they're a part of a crew, or they're kind of,
I use that one a lot on,
if people are off by themselves or a little small group.
It's usually more of a one-on-one kind of thing.
It's hard to walk up to a group and then say that,
and the group was like, well who are you talking to?
- Where are you all from?
- Yeah, that's a good one if it's an individual person
and you're just trying to make conversation,
and you kinda zoned in on them.
That's a great one to start out with.
It's really easy to answer, again,
you just looking to start a conversation.
You don't wanna hit them with heavy question,
that's pretty weird.
Number five is actually something that Dorian has taught me,
and has worked very well,
and that is if someone is holding a plate of food or a drink,
you just go up to them like,
"oh hey, that looks really good, what is that?"
"Where'd you get that from?"
- Like a super easy one.
It like, again, they can answer it very simply.
It's not offensive in any way,
and then you have the conversation
of "oh, is it good?"
Like, "oh, what do you like to drink normally?"
or "do you eat that kind of food normally?"
or even then you go into,
the beauty is, all of these conversation starters,
you can use all the other ones to keep the conversation going.
"Oh, so where are you from, exactly?"
"Oh, hey, actually, do you know where the restroom is?"
You know, you could use, you can combine them all together
and now you're in a pretty decent conversation.
So, again, that's just a great opening line,
'cause someone's got something in their hands,
it's easy to talk about.
- Number four on the list is very similar to number five,
and that is when you go up to someone and you say,
"Hey, I really like your shirt. Where'd you get that from?"
- And my answer is, "Ashley got it for me."
- People love compliments.
It instantly lets their guard down.
So, I always try to,
especially if I just can't think of anything,
I'll just compliment them on something that they're wearing,
and ask them where did they get it,
or something like that.
Number three is, "so what was the best part of your day?"
- I included this one because I was asked this question maybe like 10, 15 years ago, and it stuck with me ever since.
It was like, such a nice change.
I was an entertainment executive for a long time.
So, I was at meetings, meeting new people all the time,
and out of all the years I was doing all that,
interfacing with a lot of strangers and new people,
one person asked me that question
and it stuck with me ever since,
and it was such a great question.
It would make me feel good that someone would ask that question.
I was like, oh, this one's amazing.
Bit of a gamble, depending on the group, obviously.
But I would say that
that is one that will kind of put someone back on their heels just a little bit.
So, if you're not really that comfortable with that kind of,
it's a bit of a bold question to start with,
but I will tell you I've remembered that question ever since that day,
and I felt like it was a really, really good one.
I've used it on other people, and they said the same thing,
like, "That's like a great question".
And then they--
- People will remember you by that.
- Definitely, definitely.
- Number two is something that I use a lot,
and I know Dorian does as well, and that is,
"so, what brought you here tonight?"
or today et cetera.
So, this is great if you're at a bar or some kind of event that's not hosted by someone specifically,
but it's a really easy way to get into a conversation.
So, someone has a reason for going everywhere.
So, they're not.
Even if they don't have a reason,
like, "I don't know, I just came with my friend."
"Oh, well, who's your friend?" - Yeah.
- Like, you're already immediately into a conversation again.
So, it's a really, really great one.
That's my go-to for sure.
- Especially because it's not a yes or no,
and it's not a quick answer, usually.
So, their answer,
they're probably giving a lot of good information that you can kinda hook onto,
and then form your next question.
So, the number one conversation starter that you should use,
and it's kinda similar, actually, to number two,
and that is, going up to someone and saying,
"hi, so how do you know so-and-so?"
Which means the "so-and-so" is the host of the event.
- You, for the longest time, couldn't wrap your head around this question, but I'm like, if you're invited somewhere by the host, the people at the same place are probably also invited by the host, so now you have a common ground already.
So, it's not like this person's like,
"well, what the hell, who are you?"
like, "why would you even ask me that question."
You always found it so weird,
and I'm like, just try it when you're at a party.
- Now, we use it all the time.
- If we're at a party hosted by someone specific,I'm always, I will go up to people now and I have no qualms, and I'm like, "hey, so how do you know Charlie?"
This is so easy now.
And then, I get to learn a lot of cool information
that maybe my host wouldn't have told me about that person.
- Yeah, you already have common ground to stand on and discuss, so use it.
- If you liked this video, remember to give it a thumbs up.
Subscribe to my channel for more videos like this,
and thank you so much, Dorian, for being here,
- You're welcome, it's my pleasure.
- and sharing your wisdom.
Like I said at the top, Dorian is incredible on getting into and then maintaining conversations.
So, these are gonna be really helpful.
They've helped me.
So, I know if they've helped me,
they're definitely gonna help you.
Hope you all enjoy.
- And I was never a great conversationalist growing up.
I had to learn the hard way when I was an entertainment executive.
I just got thrown into these random situations.
So, these are the things that I've learned over the years.
I'm telling you, they work, and I am not--
- Tried and true.
- Yeah, I am not like an outgoing sorta guy.
I can do it if I need to, but that is not my default.