'cause I'll pull a fast one on you.

因為我比你還要快

Uah! *Jumps*

啊嘿！

AIGHH! (sneeze?? wtf pewds)

這就像一個打噴嚏的開場

It's like a sneeze intro. (lmao)

歡迎回來，我在一天內玩…兩集

Welcome back. I'm playing.. uhh- two episodes

而我只有20分鐘能玩，因為我沒有太多時間

in one day. I'm only gonna play for 20 minute

或許這對你來說不重要，但我想玩這個遊戲

because I don't have a lotta time.

而且還想多玩一點，然後…

That doesn't matter to you, the point is that

盡我的努力給你們最優質的內容

- I'm really into playing this game, and I

這就是這個頻道的宗旨！

just wanna play more aaand uh

我忘了我們到哪了…

..do my best to give you guys the best quality content.

對！燈籠，那個燈籠

that's what this channel is ALL ABOUT.

就是這裡，對吧？這個天平

I forgot what we were doing..

是吧？

RIGHT than lan- the lantern!

讓我們他媽的把這燈籠…

Here it is. ...right? The scale.

啊！閉嘴..閉嘴

Right?

我有一個創世紀的想法 你為什麼不他媽的把它拉到同樣的重量就好了

Let's put the fucKING LANTERN

對吧，我知道，超有創意的

AAAH! Shut up.. shut up.

我 的 天

I have a crazy idea

是隻鱷魚！

why don't you just fucking pull it down with the

射牠！

same weight.

對不起，鱷魚先生

Just.. like.. I don't know. I-I know, crazy right?

（鱷魚：沒關係， PEWDS，我只是假鱷魚。）

AAOOHMYGOD

你他媽閉嘴

IT'S A GATOR!

我要殺死你

Shoot it!

你怎麼了，鱷魚？

I gotta ki- I'm sorry Mr. Gator.

太棒了，我成功的開了兩次

(Gator voice) No poodz. Pleez. I am not a real gator.

為什麼這個地方這麼詭異

Shut the fuck up.

你好

I gotta kill you.

一定有什麼東西在這裡

What happened to you, Gator?

你好？

Great I'm glad we did that.

這個房間到底怎麼了？

Why is this room so extremely creepy?

這房間…哦！

Hello?

啊掐拉！哦！

There must be something in here.

我有槍

Hello?

來啊

What is up with this fucking room?

你好！

What was - oh. *crash*

我有槍哦…啊！

Shotgun.

我才不怕你呢…

Bring it.

哦！我的老天鵝

HELLO?

我的老天鵝

I've gotta shotgun! *gasp*

我要補個血

I'm not afraid to use-

我得到聖水了！

Aww, fuuck nawh

還有我的霰彈槍！

Fuck nawh... maah

我才不怕…哦！它是黑色的，我快嚇死了我的媽呀

I'm gonna heal.

我真的會開槍哦！

AY I GOT HOLY WATER!

他媽的閉嘴

..AND I GOTTA SHOTGUN!

啊是小嬰兒，這個好

AND I'M NOT AF-

嘿你好…

- OH god it's black- I-I got scared of it.

沒有，什麼東西都沒有

Jesus Christ.

OK，我們得到了一個…漂亮的畫

And I'm not afraid to use it!

好吧，真是…

Shut the fuck up.

喔！是絨毛熊先生！你在這裡做什麼？

Ah it's babies. It's fine.

（熊先生：嗨！PEWDIEPIE）

Hey where'd-

（熊先生：啊啊啊啊啊！）

No. We got nothing.

（熊先生：哦不！ PEWDIEPIE！）

Alright we got a.. BEAUTIFUL painting. (drawing)

（熊先生：啊啊啊啊啊！）

Alright that's..

（熊先生：Pewdiepie…你會死在這裡…）

OHH it's Mr Fuzzball!

該死的熊…不！

How you doing there?

（熊先生：你們都會死在這裡，）

*Weird child's voice* HI POODIEPIE

（熊先生：你的觀眾、兄弟都會…）

AAAHHH!

真他媽的詭異

OH NO! POODIEPIE!

給我坐好，然後閉上他媽的嘴

aaAAAAAAaAAAAA

在遊戲裡這已經變成我的口頭禪了…

Pewdiepie..

因為…你懂的

You will die here to-

閉…閉…閉…閉…

GOD damn it teddy- no!

他媽的閉嘴

You will all die in here.

哈！

Even the audience - of the bros.

這就對了

Well this is fucking weird.

沒有人比我還快

Just sit on your chair and shut the fuck uuup.

因為我比你還快

That's my catchphrase.. in this fucking game

那他媽的是什麼…

for some reason.

哦…我的老天鵝

ShufhshsFfsfshhshshfhshh

就別重播它了，這樣很不好

Shut the fuck up.

我的老天…別…

HUA!

停

That's right.

停

No one's gonna pull a fast one on me

停

'cause I'll pull a fast one on you.

他媽的停下

UUAH! *jumps*

停下！！

What the fuck was that?

哦不…樓上有人

Oh my god.

（她怪怪的…） 不，才沒有…

*Defeated sigh*

你這個臭婊X

Let's not replay that. That was fucking pathetic.

有種出來啊 …

(literally replays it anyway)

你最好別…

Jesus Chri- stop.

真他媽…目前最毛的部分就是這裡了

Stop.

不開玩笑

Stop.

這裡根本沒有任何東西，只有我他媽的在這裡走動

Stop.

等等…我從哪過來的？

Just FUCKING stop.

“滾開”

SSTOOOOPPP!

..好的

Oh no someone is upstairs.

好的

Something's wrong with her.

恭敬不如從命

No fucking-

哦你看！漂白水耶！我們來喝吧！

You fucking bitch.

嘿！老兄

Bring it motherfucker.

為什麼漂白水會跟我說話？

You best be not j-

只是個漂…

this is fucking st-

♫早上好啊♫

the creepiest part so far.

媽的…

I swear to god.

為什麼我要在大半夜裡玩最恐怖的部分

There's no looting or anything it's just

OK，有個房子

me fucking walking around.

沒事，只是門而已

Wait.

呃..

Where'd I come from?

這是地圖，是不是？

..Ok.

這是一個…哦，這是這個房間的地圖

Ok.

然後上面說這裡有東西

That can be arranged.

哦，我看到了

Oh look! There's bleach!

嘿！看那兒

Let's drink it!

OK

Hey bro.

哇！我們怎麼到這裡的？

Why is the bleach talking to me?

♫早上好啊♫

It's just a (unintelligible)

我 的 天

*very good JackSepticEye voice* Top o' the morning to ya..!

那是…

This is- FUCK

給我看看你的手，老兄

Why do I have to play the scariest part

不用擔心

in the fucking- night? - at night.

沒關係的，扯下來就對了

Alright we gotta house.

“哦老天，好了…”

It's just a door.

謝謝奶奶

Uhh..

你是最棒的

So this is a map, isn't it?

嘿！

And that's a d- oh it's a map of this room.

就跟你說過那裡很濕…

So there's something here.

天啊

Yea I see it.

不 不 不 不 不 不 不 ！

Hey! Look at that.

呃 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 ！

Okay.

兄弟們，救我…

Woah.

哦不！太安靜了，這太安靜了…

What do we got here?

這太他媽…

(Jacksepticeye) TOOOP O' THE MOR-

剛剛存檔了！

AAOHMYGOD

我的老天鵝

IT'S JAADAADADAA

啊啊啊啊！

Let me get your arm buddy.

我一直想爆他的頭，但他太他媽大了！

Aah it's fine, don't worry about it.

別晃你的頭！

It's fine.

這太扯了

Just tear it off.

謝謝合作

Thanks grandma!

該死的濕黏獸，我恨牠

You da best!

我剛剛真的該喝了那他媽的漂白水的

Hey!

我想回家，我想回家，我現在就想回家

Look I told you it was moist!

媽的

Oh god.

我的媽

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

他媽的讓我裝個子彈

UUUAAAAAAAAAAA

去你媽的這個地方

Bros, heh-he-hu-he-help me.

我現在在哪裡？

Oh god. It's too quiet.

我真他媽的想回家

It's too fucking quiet.

我知道我瞄準得很爛 但那是因為我壓力超他媽大

It's too fucking-

不！鱷魚先生！

It's saving. (gasp in 3)

媽的，我看不到路了

(2)

哦，謝他媽的老天爺

Oh my god. (1)

我他媽受夠這個地方了

*Gasp*

我不知道該說什麼…來吧…

AAAAUAUAAAAAAA

我是在哪裡拿到…我拿到那個手臂了

5/7

我要怎麼用那個手臂？

I'M TRYNA HEADSHOT THIS MOTHERFUCKER

我不知…吼！去你的

BUT IT'S SO FUCKING BIG

怎樣？

Stop moving your head!

幹嘛？ “你拿到了嗎？”

This is ridiculous.

有啦，拿到了啦 “拿到了，真的要用這個東西嗎？”

Thank you.

“拿到了，真的要用這個東西嗎？”

FUCKING moist monsters.

“沒錯”

I hate 'em.

“等到所有事情都解決了，我們就可以離開了，我們一起”

I should've just drank the fucking bleach.

太太，我不知道妳是誰，但我…我贊同妳說的 “我會在露營車那邊等你的”

*stutters*

他媽的婊X

I just wanna go home.

OK，一切都很好

I wanna go home. I wanna go home now.

好的，我們回露營車吧

Fuck.

因為…呃…

Oh my god.

我想存個檔

Let me reload motherfucker.

又怎麼了啦！

Fuck this fucking place.

他奶奶的！

Where the hell am I?

又怎樣啦？

I wanna go home so fucking bad.

“你到底在哪裡？算了…現在就差你手上的那顆頭了，我和米婭就…”

I know my aim is fucking terrible,

“嘿！小夥子！我想應該跟你說一聲，柔伊差不多該下場休息了！”

but it stresses me the fuck out.

不！ “她和米婭都在我這裡，聊得正開心呢！”

NO GATOR!

“她和米婭都在我這裡，聊得正開心呢！”

Fuck I don't fucking see where I'm going.

不！ “她和米婭都在我這裡，聊得正開心呢！”

Ugh, thank fucking god.

“她和米婭都在我這裡，聊得正開心呢！”

I'm fucking done with this place, man

“放她們走！你到底想做什麼！“

I don't know what to tell you.

你們竟然拋下我玩3P！ ”放她們走！你到底想做什麼！“

Here you go.

你們竟然拋下我玩3P！ ”不不不！這是我們家的事，不關你的事，知道嗎？“

So where do I get the..

”不不不！這是我們家的事，不關你的事，知道嗎？“

So I got the arm.

“咳咳…現在，如果你想要那顆頭，歡迎你隨時過來拿…”

How do I use the arm here?

“但是，我會為你準備一些…小遊戲一起同樂唷！”

I don't fu-

哦天啊！我最喜歡玩遊戲了！ “但是，我會為你準備一些…小活動一起同樂唷！”

Aw for fuck sake.

”什麼遊戲？“

WHAT?

”哦別急…我知道你很興奮，但別擔心！我就在這邊等你，哪裡都不會去的！“

GREAT. I don't know who you are but

“首先，小夥伴…你得先看看…呵呵…露營車裡的冰箱”

IiUAUAUAiIiU- I would love to.

“去你的！”

What a fuckin' bitch.

“哦…別這樣嘛…你也想玩得開心點，不是嗎？”

Well. This has been great.

那個… “哦…別這樣嘛…你也想玩得開心點，不是嗎？”

Alright so we're heading back to the trailer.

“哦…別這樣嘛…你也想玩得開心點，不是嗎？”

Because uh, I wanna fucking save.

“現在，去！看！冰！箱 ！”

Wha- for fuck sake.

很…很…

God fucking damn it.

很愉快的談話

WWHHUUUAAT?

一直以來都這麼愉快，一直以來都…

NO

YEEEE～

NO

YEEEEEE～

You're having a threesome without me!??!

好

Oh my god, I love activities!

所以…我們必須經歷的所有家庭成員，這就像…

*exhales excitedly*

呃…我也認為我是其中一份子 因為或許這就是為什麼我有打不死的天賦

is it?

我想我們現在需要烏鴉鑰匙， 所以我要確認一下我有帶著

Great-great. Great talking to you Zoella.

冰箱在…哦！這兒

It's always good fun.

這冰箱不太…

It's always-

噁哦哦哦哦！拜託！

SaaAAaAVe staAAAAAAaaaayy

三 小 啦

Okay.

嘿！你看

So, uhh we go through all the family members

呃…（那隻豬就在解剖室裡面等著你，婊X）

it seems like.

謝啦哥們！

Uuhhh, I suppose we are part of the family too

感恩您！

and that's probably why the gift is coming from.

我覺得我應該買一下這東西

I think now we need the crow key

多少錢…五塊？

so

因為…我裝子彈的速度變得有點慢 而且我們剛好有五個硬幣

I wanna make sure I have all the shit

來吧

Where is the fridge?

我的生命岌岌可危 所以我來打個針吧

There it is.

別隨便引用我剛剛的名言，我認真的

This fridge wasn't-

OK，裝子彈的速度提升了

UUUGGHH

這個解剖室…

COME ON MAN.

他媽的在哪裡？

WHAT THE FuUUUuCK

所有的濕黏獸都去死吧，我恨它們

Hey! Look at that. (forgets about head)

呃…

Uh, the pig is waiting

嘿！麋鹿，近來可好？ （麋鹿：嗨！pewdiepie，很高興見到你）

for you in the dissection

嘿！我也很高興見到你

room, bitch.

有了！水啦！

Thanks buddy!

我們一直在找你呢，Mr.烏鴉 （烏鴉：呱呱！）

Appreciate it!

好乖好乖！這…

I'm starting to think I should invest in this one.

這招一直都很有用

How much is it, five?

好多補給的房間！

'cuz

YEEAH！

my reloads are starting to get slow.

榴彈槍子彈！

And we have five coins.

霰彈槍子彈！

Fuck it.

都是些爛貨！

Life's handing ya' lemons,

吼耶！

so take drugs.

彈藥！

..Don't quote me on that.

還有什麼好東西？

I'm serious.

我可以打爛這個…

The dissection room.

箱子嗎！

Where the fuck was that?

看來不行

Fuck all the moist, man. I fucking hate it

箱子！

UUUUUH

好吧不行

Hey moose how ya doing?

好了，麋鹿

(Moose voice) Hi poodiepie it's good to see ya again

早上好啊，啾咪！

Oh hey its good to see ya too man

我要掉頭了

THERE IT IS! NICE!

我想我該在這邊存個檔然後跟你們說聲明天見 雖然影片還是會繼續…

We were looking for ya Mr. Crow

（換日音效）

CAACAA

好的！又是新的一天！又是新的冒險！

Yeah good one, good one yeah it works

讓我們一起奮鬥吧！小兄弟！

Yeah, it works everytime buddy

這會是段好時光

SUPPLY ROOM MOTHER FUCKA!!!

我好想念奶奶

YEEAH!

我的小婊X在哪？我的婊X

Grenade launcha!

呃…老實說…現在有點尷尬…

Shotgun Shells!

我忘記…

All kinds of shit!

要去哪裡了…

Hell yeah!

呃呃呃…

Gun powder!

沒有啦我剛剛是裝的，我沒忘

What else ya got buddy?

我沒事幹嘛演這麼久的戲

Can I break these?

對啦！就是這裡！

BOX!!!

我當然記得！

Eh, I guess not =(

解剖室嘛！對吧！

BOX!!

（思考）

No? Okay

所以這個解剖室…

Alright moose, top of da morning to ya *kisses*

先閉嘴！

I'm heading back

在哪裡…

I think, uh, I'll do a save here and I'll se ya tomorrow with another episode

啊！在那裡啦！

Although it will be the same episode for you

在那個濕濕的洞下面，我沒忘

*dies*

啊！是我最喜歡的地方呢

ALRIGHT! It's a new day!

大家最近如…

It's a new adventure, let's venture out together

啊…這裡是不是比之前還暗

Oh boy, its gonna be a "good time"

殺了我吧…

I miss Granny... where's my bitch?

這樣不好玩…

My main bitch?

真的不好玩…

I honestly, ha, this is a little embrassing...

這裡才沒有這麼暗

I don't remember where I'm supposed to go....

我對天發誓

EEEEEHHHHHH

去你的…

Okay, I'll just pretend that I know....

啊…

Ehh, how m' I doing so far?

我恨濕黏獸！

In pretending?

牠超噁爛的…

Out here! Of course!

哦不…那是… 是漂白水，拜託讓我喝一口，求你了

Of, of coourse!

不！別吵！

The dissection room! Wasn't it?

為什麼總是有那麼多聲音

Now where was

啊！

...

奶奶！

Shut the fuck up!

奶奶我差點射到你了啦！

The dissection room?

奶奶！

AH!

你在這幹嘛啦！

The dissection room!

（奶奶：啊…我好老…）

Down in the moist hole, I "remember" (googled)

奶奶，我現在有火箭筒

My fa, my favorite place!

別逼我射爆妳

Whos it going every-

（奶奶：你才沒那個種呢…）

Uh god, its darker now, isn't it?

（奶奶：你就是個孬孬…）

Fuck me, man.

…

This aint cool man

好吧，確實是

Dis aint cool at all man...

是時候送妳回家了

It didnt used to be this dark!

找個工作吧

I swear to god, man!

去找個工作吧，奶奶

Fuck man

（奶奶：但我已經退休…）

Uggghh

給我閉嘴！

I hate moist monsters!

好了，我們繼續…