are gonna read some of your fanfiction

現在我和Rosie要..看你們的同人作品 are gonna read some of your fanfiction

Now the last time we brought up fanfiction

我們對上次看網上同人小說 Now the last time we brought up fanfiction

on the Internet, Rosie got a little bit upset

Rosie有點傷心 on the Internet, Rosie got a little bit upset

People kept writing fanfiction about Rose

人們不停寫Rose跟很多人睡 只是沒有我 People kept writing fanfiction about Rose

sleeping with everyone but me, it was quite annoying

這挺惱人的 sleeping with everyone but me, it was quite annoying

Uhm, so probably that's what we'll be reading today

呃嗯..所以這可能是今天我們要看的內容 Uhm, so probably that's what we'll be reading today

Sounds great

聽起來不錯(破音(ΦωΦ) Sounds great

What we're meant to be doing is reading

我們接下來要做的是..讀出我們的部分 What we're meant to be doing is reading

out our parts like so Rose says something

所以文中Rose說話 out our parts like so Rose says something

Rose would read it but I probably won't have any

Rose會讀出來 但我可能沒有任何對白 Rose would read it but I probably won't have any

parts, it would probably be Grace Helbig

我可能會是格雷斯·赫爾比希 (喜劇演員) parts, it would probably be Grace Helbig

Okay Rosie, we're gonna start with

好了 Rose 我們要開始 Okay Rosie, we're gonna start with

Paranormal Activity 3

超自然現象3 Paranormal Activity 3

and this is by loveislove59

作者是loveislove59 and this is by loveislove59

This isn't sponsored but if Wattpad wanted to sponsor us

這影片沒有被贊助 但如果Wattpad想要贊助我們 (閱讀網站) This isn't sponsored but if Wattpad wanted to sponsor us

the Camren fiction is there

Camren的同人就在這 the Camren fiction is there

Everything in my brain and internal monologue

所有在我腦海裡的聲音.. Everything in my brain and internal monologue

will be pronounced in a French accent

都會用法國口音說出來 will be pronounced in a French accent

and everything I speak out loud

我所有的對白.. and everything I speak out loud

will be my regular accent You'll just speak out loud

會是我原來的口音 你就會說出來 will be my regular accent You'll just speak out loud

Okay

好的 Okay

I 'aven't spoken to Rosie in 3 days

我已經三天沒有跟肉喜說話了 I 'aven't spoken to Rosie in 3 days

Should I text her?

我應該滴滴她嘛? Should I text her?

I don't know!

我不造! I don't know!

"Hi what's up! It's Rose from the party"

"嗨你好嗎? 我是肉絲" "Hi what's up! It's Rose from the party"

[stifled giggling]

"嗨肉絲! 我在看電影" "Hi Rose! I'm watching a movie right now"

"Hi Rose! I'm watching a movie right now"

"真好! 我想要問你一些問題" "That's great! I wanna ask you something"

"That's great! I wanna ask you something"

"啥?" "What?"

"What?"

"你 我 星期五七點? 電影?" "You, me, Friday at 7? Movie?"

"You, me, Friday at 7? Movie?"

"聽起來不錯! 星期五見嚕!" "That sounds great! See you on Friday!"

"That sounds great! See you on Friday!"

"約定你 拜依!" "See you, bye!"

"See you, bye!"

"我完全不造為神馬肉絲會離開" I 'ave no idea why Rose left

I 'ave no idea why Rose left

如果她不會再回來? Maybe she isn't coming back?

Maybe she isn't coming back?

噢她在這..等等..那是神馬? Oh there she is- wait a second, what's that?

Oh there she is- wait a second, what's that?

是一朵玫瑰 It's a rose

It's a rose

"給你的 我的女王" "For you, my lady"

"For you, my lady"

"謝謝你甜心 你真好但為神馬說花給我?" "Thank you sweetie, you're so cute but what's that for?"

"Thank you sweetie, you're so cute but what's that for?"

- 你造我想說啥嗎? - 啥? -Do you know what I wanna say? -What?

Do you know what I wanna say? What?

她們筆下的你浪漫得多了 They've made you way more romantic

They've made you way more romantic

嘿!這不是真的! Hey! That's not true!

Hey! That's not true!

對上一次你玫瑰給我是啥時候? When was the last time you gave me a single rose?

When was the last time you gave me a single rose?

-何時.. - 這五年來都沒有 -When.. - Never in our five years

When- Never in our five years

當時我從迷妹們送我們的五百朵中挑了一朵紅玫瑰 When I picked one out of the five hundred

When I picked one out of the five hundred

不 red roses that our fans got us No

red roses that our fans got us No

我以為你愛上我已經有十年 I thought you'd love me for like ten years

I thought you've loved me for like ten years now

- 現在 我的玫瑰花呢? - 耶! - now, but where's my single rose? - Yeah!

I have! but where's my single rose?

- 我們第一次約會我就買你玫瑰了 - 她就在這 I brought you flowers on the first date She's right here

I brought you flowers on the first date She's right here

抱歉但這裡所有人的同人裡.. Sorry but everyone's making Rose out to be

Sorry but everyone's making Rose out to be

都把肉絲寫得比實際更好 way better in this fanfiction: like sleeping

way better in this fanfiction: like sleeping

例如跟別人睡 非常有浪漫心思 with other people, being really romantic,

with other people, being really romantic,

- 邀請我去約會 - 耶 - asking me on a date - Yeah

asking me on a date Yeah

我邀請了肉絲去約會 我買了玫瑰花給肉絲 I asked Rose on a date, I bought Rose flowers

I asked Rose on a date, I bought Rose flowers

她們醬寫 They've written that out

They've written that out

你..你..我認為你會感到傷心 You- you- I think you're getting upset

You- you- I think you're getting upset

就像你這幾年來一樣 like you did a few years ago

like you did a few years ago Wooooow

可能你需要發一個湯不熱 Maybe you should go write a Tumblr post about it

Maybe you should go write a Tumblr post about it

可能我要 Maybe I should

Maybe I should

- 哈囉! - 目前為止還沒有小黃樓 - Hello! - There's no sex yet

Hello! There's no sex yet :(

好的這篇作者是roseandrosiefix Okay this is by roseandrosiefix

Okay this is by roseandrosiefix

內容是肉絲和肉喜的姬情一炮 and it says Rose and Rosie one shot

and it says Rose and Rosie one shot

她標籤了.. and she tagged it with

and she tagged it with

你們這些飢渴的人們 this is for all you horny people

this is for all you horny people

耶屎! Yes!

Yes!

所以我好性奮 So I'm really excited

So I'm really excited

好的 Okay

Okay

雙肉兩人一同坐在沙發 The Roses were both sitting on the sofa

The Roses were both sitting on the sofa

抱在一起 看著"美少女的謊言" (電視劇) cuddled up, watching Pretty Little Liars

cuddled up, watching Pretty Little Liars

如果你會和我一起看 As if you would watch that with me

As if you would watch that with me

你應該要跟我一齊看! You should watch it with me!

You should watch it with me!

"窩痕艾泥" "I love you so much!"

"I love you so much!"

肉喜親了肉絲的臉頰 Rosie kissed Rose's cheek

Rosie kissed Rose's cheek

"窩也艾泥" "I love you too!"

"I love you too!"

她笑了 再抱緊肉喜一些 She smiled and cuddled Rosie more

She smiled and cuddled Rosie more

- 肉絲開始.. - 你會演出來嗎!重演一次!我們在沙發上 -Rose started to - Will you act it! Reenact it! We're on the sofa

Rose started to nibble- Well you act it! Reenact it! We're on the sofa

看著"美少女的謊言" watching PLL

watching PLL

抱著我 Cuddle me

Cuddle me

繼續 繼續 Go on, go on

Go on, go on

肉絲開始輕咬肉喜的頸 Rose started to nibble Rosie's neck

Rose started to nibble Rosie's neck

"這樣真的好嗎?" "Is this a good idea?"

"Is this a good idea?"

"為神馬不?"肉絲傻笑 "Why wouldn't it be?" Rose smirked

"Why wouldn't it be?" Rose smirked

靈巧的手溜進肉喜的T恤裡 Then running her hands up Rosie's shirt

Then running her hands up Rosie's shirt

慢慢地撫摸她平坦的小腹 feeling and stroking her abdomen. Sexy!

feeling and stroking her abdomen. Sexy!

肉喜擅抖了一下 Rosie shuddered, the feeling of

Rosie shuddered, the feeling of

肉絲每一次的接觸都令肉喜感到無比暢愉 Rose's touch which caused Rose to smirk

Rose's touch which caused Rose to smirk

肉喜的反應令肉絲更樂了 even more. Honhonhon

even more. Honhonhon

這愈來愈污了 It's getting so dirty

It's getting so dirty

肉絲開始磨她的臀部 Rose started to grind her hips against Rosie

Rose started to grind her hips against Rosie

這令到她倆開始呻吟 causing them both to moan

causing them both to moan

我們要一起叫嗎? Shall we both moan?

Shall we both moan? [Rose moans like an old man]

直到肉絲舉起肉喜的手 Until Rose lifted her arms in the air

Until Rose lifted her arms in the air

好讓她脫掉上衣 To let Rosie take her top off

To let Rosie take her top off

這就是我們第二次約會發生的事 That is what happened on our second date

That is what happened on our second date

你怎麼知道? How do you know?

How do you know?

當我把手溜進她的褲子 She gasped when I slipped a hand

She gasped when I slipped a hand

並開始慢慢摩娑 into her trousers and started to stroke her

into her trousers and started to stroke her

盡情地感受她的..在引號裡的"濤濤江河" Feeling her, in quotes, "wetness pool"

Feeling her, in quotes, "wetness pool"

- 我指.. - 停 I mean- Stop

I mean- Stop

這是一個"濤濤江河" It's a wetness pool

It's a wetness pool

感謝你們 感謝你們把我寫得這麼噁心 Thanks guys, thanks for making it look like

Thanks guys, thanks for making it look like

還有 I'm disgusting and can't keep it in my pants- Okay

I'm disgusting and can't keep it in my pants- Okay

- 她喘出一口氣 抓住我的頸 - 噢賣噶 She let out a gasp and gripped my neck Oh my god!

She let out a gasp and gripped the back of my neck Oh my god!

我造你要說神馬! I know what you're gonna say!

look what you're gonna say!

不 我不會說 No, I'm not saying it

No, I'm not saying it

"肉喜 我還想要" "Rosie, more"

"Rosie, more"

我喜歡這寫得很貼近我們的性福生活 I like how it's mostly around our sex life

I like how it's mostly around our sex life

耶..我發現的一件事是.. Yeah, I mean, one thing I've noticed is

Yeah, I mean, one thing I've noticed is

我們沒有一個"Beth&Tina聯合幸高潮" we don't have a Beth and Tina joint orgasm

we don't have a Bette and Tina joint orgasm

噢這很不錯! Oh that's good!

Oh that's good!

我要為這鼓掌 I'd like to applaud this

I'd like to applaud this

我喜歡這! I loved it!

I loved it!

這也很污但它的結局以一個浪漫的音符作結 It got dirty but it ended on like

It got dirty but it ended on like

- 耶 - 我喜歡這 a romantic note, yeah I loved it

a romantic note, yeah I loved it

這還會持續更新 And it's to be continued

And it's to be continued

下面的一個留言說 (beckypotato1) It's got one comment underneath it from beckypotato1

It's got one comment underneath it from beckypotato1

抱歉如果我剛把你趕出局 Sorry if I've just outed you

Sorry if I've just outed you

然後她說.."馬比" And she said, "Damn."

And she said, "Damn."

我要寫留言 你可以只放"濤濤江河"嗎? - I'm gonna leave a comment - Can you just put "wetness pool"

I'm gonna leave a comment Can you just put "wetness pool"

"很期待下一次的分期付款" 耶屎 - "Can't wait for the next installments!" - Yes

"Can't wait for the next installments!" Yes

它的拼寫是"I" It's spelt with an 'i'

It's spelt with an 'i'

這個章節叫"趴踢" This chapter's called "The Party"

This chapter's called "The Party"

"嗨Emma怎麼樣?!" "Hi Emma what's up!"

"Hi Emma what's up!"

"你準備好參加趴踢了嗎?" "Are you ready for the party?"

"Are you ready for the party?"

"我不想去" "I don't wanna go"

"I don't wanna go"

"你需要跳出你的框框 來吧!" "You need to come out from that room, come on"

"You need to come out from that room, come on"

"可能你會在趴踢裡找到其他人" "probably you'll find somebody else at the party"

"probably you'll find somebody else at the party"

"我不要別人" "I don't want somebody else!"

"I don't want somebody else!"

"我要得到那女..但好的 I'm coming" "I want that girl, but okay, I'm coming"

"I want that girl, but okay, I'm coming"

"我三十分鐘後出發" "I'll be ready in 30 minutes"

"I'll be ready in 30 minutes"

"到時見 別忘記了你的幽靈被單 拜依" "See you there, don't forget the ghost costume, bye"

"See you there, don't forget the ghost costume, bye"

"拜依!" "Bye!"

"Bye!"

三十分鐘後 我已經在去趴踢的路上 30 minutes later, I was already on my way

30 minutes later, I was already on my way

還有耶屎 我裝扮成幽靈 to the party and yes, I was dressed up like a ghost

to the party and yes, I was dressed up like a ghost

所以沒有人能認出我 so no one could recognise me

so no one could recognise me

我把車泊在停車場 I parked my car in the parking lot

I parked my car in the parking lot

我看見Emma然後就一起走進去 I saw Emma and went straight in

I saw Emma and went straight in

我們就醬加入了趴踢 and then we entered the party

and then we entered the party

這裡沒有很多人 There were not so many people

There were not so many people

當時我的趴踢簡直超載了! There was loads of people at my party!

There was loads of people at my party!

抱歉肉喜 你在說神馬? Sorry Rosie! What are you saying?

Sorry Rosie! What are you saying?

- 沒有人去你的趴踢 - 當天整個天朝都來了我的趴踢!! - No one went to your party - Loads of people went to my party!!!

No one went to your party Loads of people went to my party!!!

我很驚訝因為我看見她.. I was so surprised because I saw her

I was so surprised because I saw her

那個神秘的女孩 The mysterious girl, (queen of arts?)

The mysterious girl, (queen of arts?)

我就在那一直盯著她 I was there, just staring at her

I was there, just staring at her

她真的很漂亮 但後來有一女到她旁邊 She is so beautiful but then a girl came up next to her

She is so beautiful but then a girl came up next to her

親了她 我差點崩潰了 and kissed her, I was ready to collapse

and kissed her, I was ready to collapse

為什麼所有好的東西都有不好的一面? Why must every good thing have a bad one?

Why must every good thing have a bad one?

因為我有男朋友了 'Cause I've got a boyfriend

'Cause I've got a boyfriend

等等 她是姬或雙 太棒了 Wait, she's gay or bisexual, and that's awesome

Wait, she's gay or bisexual, and that's awesome

但她有女票了?為神馬? but she has a girlfriend? Why?

but she has a girlfriend? Why?

我根本不造她的名字 她的過往 I don't even know her name! Her story!

I don't even know her name! Her story!

但我挺喜歡她的 But I kind of like her

But I kind of like her

神秘女孩 這是我 Mysterious girl, this is me

Mysterious girl, this is me

我猜? I guess?

I guess?

所以我有女票了 So I've got a girlfriend

So I've got a girlfriend

我還不知道 I don't know yet

I don't know yet

等等 我的妹子呢? Wait a second, where is my girl?

Wait a second, where is my girl?

我指 那個神秘女生 I mean, the mysterious girl

I mean, the mysterious girl

她在那! There she is!

There she is!

她在哭? She's crying?

She's crying?

你需要跟上去! You have to go after her!

You have to go after her!

脫了這白痴的幽靈床單! Without this stupid ghost costume!

Without this stupid ghost costume!

"嗨 你還好嗎?" "Hi, is everything okay?"

"Hi, is everything okay?"

真是一個白痴的問題 她在哭 What a stupid question, she's crying

What a stupid question, she's crying

明顯她不太好 obviously it's not okay

obviously it's not okay

我的女朋友Emily親了一個男生 My girlfriend Emily kissed a boy

My girlfriend Emily kissed a boy

好的 Okay

Okay

所以明顯我跟她要分了 So obviously me and my girl are gonna split up

So obviously me and my girl are gonna split up

好 Right

Right

"真是一個婊子 抱歉 我.." "What a bitch! Excuse me, I-"

"What a bitch! Excuse me, I-"

"沒事 我們見過面嗎?" "It's okay. Did we meet before?"

"It's okay. Did we meet before?"

"實際上 有的 上個禮拜" "Actually, yes, a week ago"

"Actually, yes, a week ago"

"在戲院 對嗎? 我造我見過你" "At the cinema, right? I know I saw you before"

"At the cinema, right? I know I saw you before"

"順便一提 我是肉喜" "by the way, I'm Rosie"

"by the way, I'm Rosie"

"很高興認識你 你的名字真好聽" "Nice to meet you Rosie, your name is beautiful"

"Nice to meet you Rosie, your name is beautiful"

"我的名字是肉絲" "My name is Rose"

"My name is Rose"

她寫下某些東西 你們認為那會是神馬? She wrote something down, what'd you guys think it was?

She wrote something down, what you guys think it was?

沒錯 是她的電話號碼 Exactly, it was her number

Exactly, it was her number

我樂翻天了 I was so 'appy

I was so 'appy

她走了 但她走之前在我的臉頰上親了一下 She left, but not before she give me a kiss on the cheek

She left, but not before she give me a kiss on the jheek

我的臉可能已經紅成蕃茄了 Probably I was red as a tomato

Probably I was red as a tomato

這趴踢 是這世上最美好的趴踢 That party, was the best of all

That party, was the best of all

我們為何不來一個挑戰 Why don't we do a challenge

Why don't we do a challenge

像我們每人有五分鍾時間 where we have like 5 minutes

where we have like 5 minutes

我可以用我的手機計時 I can literally put my phone on the timer

I can literally put my phone on the timer

然後我們要寫出關於我們的關係.. And we have to write the most creative

And we have to write the most creative

最有創意的同人文 best fanfic about our relationship

best fanfic about our relationship

例如..我已經知道你會把五美寫進去了 Like, I already know yours is gonna have 5H in

Like, I already know yours is gonna have 5H in

但無論如何 來寫出最有創意的東東吧 But whatever, let's do the most creative thing

But whatever, let's do the most creative thing

我們在五分鍾內寫好文章 然後讓對方讀出來 we can do in 5 minutes and then read it to each other

we can do in 5 minutes and then read it to each other

我們何不讓迷妹們投票 And why don't we get the audience to vote

And why don't we get the audience to vote

選出那部同人文比較好 whose fanfic is better?

whose fanfic is better?

好! 五分鍾挑戰現在開始 Fine! 5 minute challenge begins now

Fine! 5 minute challenge begins now

好的 我已經拍了幾張IG照 Okay, I've taken some inspo

Okay, I've taken some inspo

那些我們讀過的作者 from the people we read

from the people we read

and uh, cool, (????) a page is

and uh, cool, (????) a page is

好的 Okay

Okay

(Pages... no???)

(Pages... no???)

嘩嗚 你已經開始寫了? Wow, you're already writing?

Wow, you're already writing?

別看! Don't look!

Don't look!

好的我不看 Okay I won't

Okay I won't

時間快到了 Time's nearly up

Time's nearly up

- 三 二 一.. - 等等我需要加上一個雙關語 - 3, 2, 1 - Wait I need a pun!

3, 2, 1 Wait I need a pun!

結束! End!

End!

- 好 我給自己起了一個帳戶名 -你加入了所有 - Right, so I named myself a username - You typed all this

Right, so I named myself a username You titled it Yeah

耶我給自己起了帳戶名 Yeah I gave myself a username which is

I gave myself a username which is

"我有濕疹但我依然性感69" ihaveeczemabutimstillsexy69

"ihaveeczemabutimstillsexy69"

我還起了標題 "待她像公主一樣" And I've titled it, quotes, "Treat her like a princess" Okay

And I've titled it, quotes, "Treat her like a princess" Okay

我用了美國口音寫文 And I wrote it in a American accent because

And I wrote it in a American accent because

因為我認為這是同人文看起來的樣子 I feel like that's what happens with fanfictions? Yes

I feel like that's what happens with fanfictions? Yes

- 題外話 人們會寫'wanna watch a movie?' - 耶屎 -By the way, there everyone's like 'wanna watch a movie?' -Yes

By the way, there everyone's like 'wanna watch a movie?' Yes

而我們會寫'do you wanna watch a film' Whereas we'd be like 'do you wanna watch a film'

Whereas we'd be like 'do you wanna watch a film'

肉絲今天極度需要 Rose is super needy today

Rose is super needy today

她把肉喜拉到床上 She dragged Rosie to the bed

She dragged Rosie to the bed

深深吻著她 and kisses her hard

and kisses her hard

"我決定要給你一個與眾不同的驚喜" "I've decided I'm gonna do something special for you"

"I've decided I'm gonna do something special for you"

"噢賣噶 是神馬?" "Oh my god what is it?"

"Oh my god what is it?"

肉喜感到非常驚訝 因為這從未發生過 Rosie is so surprised because this literally never happens

Rosie is so surprised because this literally never happens

肉喜已經記不起對上一次 Rosie can't even remember the last time

Rosie can't even remember the last time

肉絲何時送過花給她 Rose even bought her some flowers

Rose even bought her some flowers

草泥 Fuck you

Fuck you

"今天我會如對待公主一樣侍候你" "I'm gonna treat you like a princess all day"

"I'm gonna treat you like a princess all day"

"意思是一整天" "which means that for one day"

"which means that for one day"

"只有這一天" "and for one day only"

"and for one day only"

"你可以提出任何要求" "you get to have whatever you want"

"you get to have whatever you want"

"肉絲 我造我想要神馬了" "Rose, I know what I want"

"Rose, I know what I want"

"是啥? 寶貝" "What is it, babe?"

"What is it, babe?"

"我想要一美" "It's James Mcavoy"

"It's James Mcavoy"

然後你要讀下去 Then you read the last bit

Then you read the last bit

不 你要讀下去 No you have to read the last bit

No you have to read the last bit

然後他們就開始了性福的3P生活.. Then they proceed to have the best threesome

Then they proceed to have the best threesome

..直到永遠 of their entire lives and Rose realised

of their entire lives and Rose realised

肉絲發現她原來不是真的姬 she wasn't actually even gay and that she too

she wasn't actually even gay and that she too

她也一同愛上了一美 was also in love with James Mcavoy

was also in love with James Mcavoy

為了讓這個狀況更好 Then, to make this whole situation

Then, to make this whole situation

一美決定把兩隻逗比都娶了 even better, James decided to marry them both

even better, James decided to marry them both

並且給她們小蝌蚪 and give them his sperm

and give them his sperm

三人有了兩個完美的、蘇格蘭混血的孩子 They had two perfect, half Scottish children

They had two perfect, half Scottish children

完結 The end

The end

肉絲拎起她的文胸 徐徐步出倫哥的房子 Rose picked up her bra and left Lauren's house

Rose picked up her bra and left Lauren's house

她不想肉喜發現此事 She didn't want Rosie to find out about this

She didn't want Rosie to find out about this

這是一個錯誤 It was a mistake

It was a mistake

一個美麗的、有詩意的錯誤 A beautiful, poetic mistake

A beautiful, poetic mistake

她可能會在湯不熱上轉格這事 that she'll probably reblog on Tumblr

that she'll probably reblog on Tumblr

是因為她的西班牙混古巴血統的迷人眼睛導致肉絲的不忠嗎? Was it her Spanish Cuban eyes that led to infidelity?

Was it her Spanish Cuban eyes that led to infidelity?

我以為她是墨西哥混古巴 I thought she was Cuban Mexican

I thought she's Cuban Mexican

那是卡米拉 分清楚 That's Camila, get it right

That's Camila, get it right

不 那是肉喜的臭味手掌 No, it was Rosie's stink palms

No, it was Rosie's stink palms

這是一個習慣 肉絲已經無法再忍容了 It was a habit Rose just couldn't put up with anymore

It was a habit Rose just couldn't put up with anymore

"你要去哪?"倫哥問 "Where are you going?" Lauren asked,

"Where are you going?" Lauren asked,

困惑得就如 confused as to why she didn't sing it instead

confused as to why she didn't sing it instead

"你要去哪 真他馬的白目" "Where are you going, that was pretty fucking dope"

[sings]: "Where are you going, that was pretty fucking dope"

肉絲插入:"告訴你" Rose cut in, "Just so you know"

Rose cut in, "Just so you know"

她們那晚很努力地合作 They collaborated just as hard as they did that night

They collaborated just as hard as they did that night

"我只想要你的(?)進我的屁屁裡 "I just want your (???) in my bum"

"I just want your Jauregui in my bum"

回到家之後 "肉喜我有事要跟你說" Back at home, "Rosie I have something to tell you"

Back at home, "Rosie I have something to tell you"

"我跟倫哥睡了 你也需要洗牙" "I have slept with Lauren, you also need a scale and polish"

"I slept with Lauren, you also need a scale and polish"

"我以為我有兩件痛心的消息來打擊你" "I thought I'd hit you with two very upsetting pieces of information"