you got a car, a house; you don't have to work anymore.

You've got all of that for nothing. Is that right?

When you went to university, did you pay for it, or did your dad?

"Well, my dad paid for it." Then you got that for nothing,

just by being born to the right father;

but you don't want anybody else to get anything for nothing.

You people that were born in America inherit the railways.

They're all here. Automobiles are here. You didn't make the telephone.

Just being born here, you got all that for nothing.

In my day, we had covered wagons.

We didn't have all the highways and all the things that are available.

So, I'm saying that we get a lot for nothing, just being born here.

If you were born in India, Ceylon,

you'd be crawling in the muck.

Getting things for nothing is not bad; it doesn't hurt anybody,

and these people that are giant corporation owners get up

and say "All you people want things for nothing." When you die,

are you going to leave your money to research,

or to your son or daughter?

What the hell have they done for it? See what I mean?

Being born to very wealthy parents gives you a lot.

Just being born, you get for nothing.

Mothers sometimes talk as though they engineered the child.

They shake their head "I gave it life and it bloomed."

They do nothing; just walk around, and 'clunk' out it comes,

whether you want it or not.

Some guy has an orgasm. He's fucking,

has a brilliant time, and pretty soon the guy says

"You're gonna have a bright baby." "You're my son!",

like he made it. He went in the shop, and he sawed out the eyes

and molded them. He'd been in and gone, even farted and belched,

and didn't want the kid who would come along anyway.

Now, parents do nothing, unless they work on the kids:

unless they try to make you self-sufficient

and show you that they have problems, that sometimes they're wrong.

Sometimes they don't understand things. When parents talk like that they're terrific:

"Sure I've got problems occasionally, but I know how to handle them."

When a kid comes over and says "Are you the smartest daddy in the world?"

You say "I can tell you how far the moon is, how long it takes to get there.

I don't know where the hell I put my eyeglasses."

Now, you say the same thing "Was Einstein very smart?"

He could tell you how much the planets would vary in their orbit in 10,000 years,

but he never knew where his tie was;

couldn't find it; looked all day long for it.

One day, he had to lecture at one of the universities,

and he put on some baggy pants. A guy says

"You can't go and lecture with those pants."

He says "What's the matter with them? They're clean."

The guy says "There's no crease in them." He says "What's the crease for?

"What was that?" "What's it for?

As long as you're wearing clean pants." Some asshole worked on a crease.

Now we won't go out without that crease.

How can you go out without your hair done up a certain way?

I'm just telling you, people are brought up to be stupid, insane.

Another interesting thing about Einstein: he had an ordinary-looking house

near Princeton, New Jersey;

and the goddam hedges were growing all over the place.

When he first moved in the neighbors were very mad.

"The goddam guy won't cut his hedges, and the grass is wild."

They all got mad, until they found out Einstein lived there.

Then they'd drive to their house "See those hedges? That's Einstein's house."

In other words, if Rockefeller, Howard Hughes wears a torn, dirty shirt,

farts and belches, they think "He's a millionaire; he's eccentric."

If you do it, you're a goddam bum, do you understand?

So these people up there that you admire are not much better than anybody else.

The kind of things most of you believe in are wrong. That's why you're in trouble,

but if you learn how to think about the world, in this way, in this sense:

that people are the products of their environment;

you can raise a dog full of hate or love; you can raise children

so they love people, but don't blame anyone for anything.

There will be no prisons in the world we talk about.

There will be no hatred, no jealousy. And I'll show you what love is.

If you are my wife and I'm in love with you, and you want to run off to the milkman,

I'll help you pack. Is that what you really want? I'll help you pack.

"You goddam two-timin' son of a bitch. I'll get a drink!"

You're going to get a drink? There's no problem solving; we get pissed off.

Because, if you want the milkman, it means that you don't want to be married to me.

It must mean that, right?

Now, when you go off with the milkman, if I love you, I will help you pack.

Can you understand that?

And I say "Honey, why don't you take this paper toy. You've always liked that too."

Oh no, don't try to do that! You say "Well, why are you doing all these things?"

"Because I love you." That's what love is.

The other kind of shit: "You two-timin' cunt! [grumbling]",

and a normal person gets so fucking uptight that they don't know mercy.

[grumble] He drinks that shit, and it knocks him out.

Excuse me if I break any bones. A drunk, I swear to God, he comes in and says

"Move your ass, silly fuck. Move over." He could never say it sober.

"Move your fucking things over, piece of shit." He gets temporary relief.

Let me tell you, if that guy that's so uptight didn't drink,

he'd crash man, you know what I mean? So he goes to AA.

Everybody gets up and confesses. "I've lost my home, I lost my car,

and I lost my job. I stopped drinking now.

I've been sober two weeks." You know the guy I mean, don't you?

"I want my family back." That's bullshit: same old.

The only thing they have in AA, is just a lot of people standing around with the same story.

They forgive each other. Normal people don't forgive.

When a guy says "I'm through with drinking. I've had it.

I lost my home. I'm gonna be sober." The guy takes him in the house.

Three days later, he's lying in bed dead drunk.

The guy says "I thought you said you were going to be sober?" He doesn't understand

that circumstances put the guy in a drinking position.

So what we want to do is get people to understand

that when you get uptight, he's got to have five drinks, and that softens him up.

This guy never drinks, and when he gets uptight, he gets [???],

and when she gets uptight, if she don't drink, and she don't get [???]:

(sound of retching), ulcers. When you get uptight: "migraines, ah shit."

So everybody manifests it in a different way.

So, we are all fucked up; that's not part of the thing.

Stop looking for the great thing,

this wonderful person that's going to lead you through life.

The only thing you can have is what you can give in a relationship.

The way things work out is always perfectly right.

Here's what it means: it means that lions might jump on a zebra and eat it.

Under those conditions, that's what they do.

Now, in our lousy school books, they tell us that those are wild animals,

and that's nature. That's a lie.

How many of you saw the movie "Born Free?" Can you raise your hand?

A family raised a lion, and it wouldn't bite or hurt anybody.

Remember that? Then they turned it lose

and a wild boar ran into him "bam" and the lion ran away and wouldn't fight.

There are no natural enemies. You can bring up a deer, a lion, a bear together.

If you feed them together, they don't fight with each other.

But if you feed one dog; if you've got two dogs,

and you feed one dog, the other one gets angry.

Jealousy is made by man.

If I have two children, two little boys, or a boy and a little girl,

and I pick up the little girl and say "You are the angel of the family,"

and the little boy stands there and says "Can you pick me up?"

and I say "No, you're the older boy. You go out and play."

Once I pick up the little girl and say "Isn't she the pretty one,"

when the relatives come in, that makes jealousy in that baby.

So, whenever you have a kid, put the little boy on your lap,

and take the little girl up on your lap, and say "This is your little sister.

You want to take care of her." Pick them both up.

Never in a classroom say: "You come to the head of the class.

You've done very well. And you're the dummy."

Once you do that, and the rest of the class laughs,

he becomes anti-social, angry. We make people what they are.

They are not naturally any way, any more than animals are.

Now one day they did a fantastic experiment, and this is the conclusion.

They took a deer, a wolf, a rabbit, etc., and put them all in the same area,

but the guy put a little high-voltage unit on the rabbit.

The rabbit came in for the first time,

and the wolf went toward the rabbit, started sniffing and got a shock,

and jumped right off the rabbit. Didn't affect the rabbit.

Then the coyote came and sniffed and got a shock,

and the lion came and got a shock. Then they took the jacket off the rabbit.

That little rabbit would walk up to them and run away, "lalala."

There are no natural enemies. There are no murderers.

There are no bad people. There are just terrible circumstances.

There is one passage in the Bible that very few people understand,

which is useful: "There but for the grace of God go I."

Here's what it means: the circumstances that put you in that situation,

could've put me in that situation, had that situation occurred.

Same concept, that's what it means.

These assholes keep reading the Bible and don't know what they are reading.

They don't understand it. What I'm trying to tell you

is that in the modern scientific approach, this kind of thing I'm talking about

gives you a realistic picture with people.

What you get from people is what they can give. That's the way they are.

If you can live with it, you live with it; and if you can't, don't call them names.

If somebody hurts you in a bad way,

you tell them "That kind of situation is painful to me

in the way I was brought up."

You tell them. If they don't seem to respond, you can't relate to them;

you have to leave. If you can't relate with people, you leave them.

Don't call them motherfucking sonofabitch and no-good shit.

Don't do that. Just leave them if you can't relate to them.

Try to be pleasant to most people.

Even though you don't honestly agree with them,

try to point out things that they don't understand.

You can take all kinds of people, and you can change them,

without hurting them, without pain.

You can raise children never to fight, never to hurt each other,

without hanging signs on the wall.

"Do good." "'Do right." You don't need any of that.

Some day, the schools, all these schools:

every one them will be closed down. Their methods are old.

They are damaging. They don't work...