when I thought I could talk about Stupid Things I believed as a kid.

我想到可以說小時候信以為真的蠢事。

But the only thing I could really think of was the fact that I thought

但我唯一可以想的到的是：

if I ate too many bananas, I would turn into a monkey.

我以為吃太多香蕉會變成一隻猴子。

And I didn't want that to happen, so I stopped eating bananas and have grown a distaste to them ever since.

我不想要變成猴子，所以就不吃香蕉了，然後從此以後就討厭香蕉。

So I asked my twin sister, who's name's Faith by the way,

因此，我去找了我的雙胞胎姊姊 Faith，

if she could remember anything I believed.

問她記不記得我小時候信以為真的蠢事。

She couldn't think of anything about me but gave plenty of examples about things she believed.

她想不起我的，但她跟我說了很多很多她童年時相信的蠢事。

So here we go. For the sake of comedy, I'm gonna exploit my twin sister.

所以開始吧，為了娛樂性質出賣我雙胞待姊姊的影片。

Stupid Things my sister believed as a kid...

我姊童年時信以為真的傻事…

but not anymore.

現在不相信了。

So we have this older sister who was like eight, no, nine years older than us.

先來介紹一下大姊，她大我們八…不，九歲。

And she told my sister that the computer could talk back to us through typing.

她跟我雙胞胎姊姊說，電腦可以透過打字的方式回應我們 。

It happened because Faith was on the computer.

起因是當時 Faith 在用電腦，

An error message popped up.

然後電腦跳出錯誤訊息…

She asked my older sister what was wrong with it.

她問我大姊這是怎麼回事。

And she said, "The computer says you're typing on it too hard."

而她回答：「電腦說妳打字打太用力了。」

Faith asked her to tell the computer she was sorry.

Faith 請大姊幫她告訴電腦，她很抱歉。

And soon she was having a full-on conversation with it on a regular basis.

很快的，她就開始固定和電腦聊天。

But the older sister would have to be there to communicate.

但大姊也必須在旁邊幫忙傳達訊息。

Tell him I got a 100 percent on my spelling test!

告訴電腦我在拼字考試考了 100 分！

Okay, I'm typing it in!

好，我打進去！

What did it say?

它回什麼？

It says it DOESN'T CARE.

電腦說它不在乎！

Another thing was that one time my sister was drinking water and saw a bug in her drink.

另一個是，有次我姊姊喝水的時候，在水裡看到一隻蟲。

She freaked out and poured the water out.

她嚇壞，直接把水倒掉。

But my older brother said,

但我哥哥說：

"You know something scary?

「你知道嗎？

Since you were drinking water, you could see the bug.

喝水的時候可以看到蟲子，

But if you drink something like uhh, milk?

但如果你喝的是牛奶呢？

You wouldn't see it.

就看不到蟲子了。

Because milk isn't clear like water..."

因為牛奶不是透明的…」

So she stopped drinking milk for a while,

所以她有一陣子都不喝牛奶，

but she drinks them now.

現在會喝了。

Of course...

當然…

So this one time, our dad came to us and said,

有一次，我爸跟我們說：

"Come on kids, we have to go! It's buy 1 get 1 free!"

「孩子們，走吧！去買一送一大採購！」

But he said it kinda fast,

但他說得有點快，

so it sorta formed into one word.

所以整句糊成一個字，

So he said, "Come on kids. It's BUYONEGETONEFREE."

他說：「孩子們，去『買一送一』了！」

And we were like, "What's buyonegetonefree?"

我們當時想，「買一送一」是啥？

Do you know what buyonegetonefree is?

你知道「買一送一」嗎？

I don't know what buyonegetonefree is.

我不知道那是什麼。

Then what's buyonegetonefree?

到底什麼是「買一送一」？

My sister asked if we could buy things at buyonegetonefree.

我姊問，我們要去買東西的地方是不是「買一送一」。

My dad was like, yeah.

我爸說：「對啊。」

So she brought her own money.

所以她就帶著她的錢。

We were waiting in the car for our dad to get ready,

我們就坐在車裡等爸爸，

when my brother said, "You know, at Buyonegetonefree, there's skeletons that pop out and steal your money."

然後我哥哥說，「妳知道嗎？在『買一送一』會有骷髏出現偷走你的錢。」

So I thought, "Oh! This buyonegetonefree is like an outdoor horror place huh?"

所以我就想，喔！這個「買一送一」一定是個恐怖的室外地帶吧？

And that scared my sister, and she didn't take her money.

我姐姐嚇到了，決定不帶自己的錢。

When we got to buyonegetonefree, it was just a grocery store!

我們到達「買一送一」時，發現就只是間雜貨店！

And my Dad was excited about the sale on milk.

而我爸對牛奶的優惠活動很有興趣。

You know, I'm beginning to realize that a lot of these problems exist because older siblings suck.

你知道嗎，我開始了解到，很多的問題都始於年長手足的唬爛。

So this one I believed in too.

這個我也真的相信了。

You know how sometimes airplanes have those little smoke trails coming out?

有時候飛機後面會有煙狀的拖尾，對吧？

What we thought, that those airplanes were what made clouds.

我們以為雲都是飛機做的。

All those clouds.

所有雲。

Just a bunch of airplanes.

就是一堆飛機弄的。

And I remember seeing a factory with steam stuff coming out,

我還記得看見工廠排放一堆煙時，

and I thought, "Wow, that's a very big cloud maker."

我的想法是：哇！這個雲朵製造機真大。

Another funny thing is that my sister believed in the Tooth Fairy way longer than she believed in Santa Claus.

另一件好笑的事情是，我姊姊相信有牙仙子的時間比相信聖誕老人還久。

That's because my parents didn't make us believe in Santa Claus.

因為我們父母沒有想讓我們相信有聖誕老人。

You know, we just pretend Santa's real, like, You know Mickey Mouse?

「大家只是假裝聖誕老人是真的，就好像…你知道米老鼠嗎？

Mickey Mouse isn't real.

米老鼠不是真的。

You know how like, someone dresses up as him, and goes to Disneyland...

是有人假扮成牠，跑到迪士尼樂園…

Well, it's kinda like the same thing, and you know we just pretend that he's real.

聖誕老人也一樣，大家只是假裝他是真的。

We pretend that he comes and visits us every night, you know.

我們「假裝」他晚上都會來拜訪我們。

Just... we pretend."

都是假的。」

So yeah, we never really believed in Santa Claus, but for some reason, our parents made us believe in the Tooth Fairy!

所以我們從沒真正相信有聖誕老人過，但因為一些原因，我們的父母讓我們相信世上真的有牙仙子！

So yeah, that's about it.

所以就是這樣。

Glad I didn't believe in some stupid crap like my sister.

真慶幸我沒有像我姊一樣相信一些蠢事。

Haha.. uhh.

哈哈…呃…