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  • So I was thinking of video ideas,

    思考影片主題的時候,

  • when I thought I could talk about Stupid Things I believed as a kid.

    我想到可以說小時候信以為真的蠢事。

  • But the only thing I could really think of was the fact that I thought

    但我唯一可以想的到的是:

  • if I ate too many bananas, I would turn into a monkey.

    我以為吃太多香蕉會變成一隻猴子。

  • And I didn't want that to happen, so I stopped eating bananas and have grown a distaste to them ever since.

    我不想要變成猴子,所以就不吃香蕉了,然後從此以後就討厭香蕉。

  • So I asked my twin sister, who's name's Faith by the way,

    因此,我去找了我的雙胞胎姊姊 Faith,

  • if she could remember anything I believed.

    問她記不記得我小時候信以為真的蠢事。

  • She couldn't think of anything about me but gave plenty of examples about things she believed.

    她想不起我的,但她跟我說了很多很多她童年時相信的蠢事。

  • So here we go. For the sake of comedy, I'm gonna exploit my twin sister.

    所以開始吧,為了娛樂性質出賣我雙胞待姊姊的影片。

  • Stupid Things my sister believed as a kid...

    我姊童年時信以為真的傻事…

  • but not anymore.

    現在不相信了。

  • So we have this older sister who was like eight, no, nine years older than us.

    先來介紹一下大姊,她大我們八…不,九歲。

  • And she told my sister that the computer could talk back to us through typing.

    她跟我雙胞胎姊姊說,電腦可以透過打字的方式回應我們 。

  • It happened because Faith was on the computer.

    起因是當時 Faith 在用電腦,

  • An error message popped up.

    然後電腦跳出錯誤訊息…

  • She asked my older sister what was wrong with it.

    她問我大姊這是怎麼回事。

  • And she said, "The computer says you're typing on it too hard."

    而她回答:「電腦說妳打字打太用力了。」

  • Faith asked her to tell the computer she was sorry.

    Faith 請大姊幫她告訴電腦,她很抱歉。

  • And soon she was having a full-on conversation with it on a regular basis.

    很快的,她就開始固定和電腦聊天。

  • But the older sister would have to be there to communicate.

    但大姊也必須在旁邊幫忙傳達訊息。

  • Tell him I got a 100 percent on my spelling test!

    告訴電腦我在拼字考試考了 100 分!

  • Okay, I'm typing it in!

    好,我打進去!

  • What did it say?

    它回什麼?

  • It says it DOESN'T CARE.

    電腦說它不在乎!

  • Another thing was that one time my sister was drinking water and saw a bug in her drink.

    另一個是,有次我姊姊喝水的時候,在水裡看到一隻蟲。

  • She freaked out and poured the water out.

    她嚇壞,直接把水倒掉。

  • But my older brother said,

    但我哥哥說:

  • "You know something scary?

    「你知道嗎?

  • Since you were drinking water, you could see the bug.

    喝水的時候可以看到蟲子,

  • But if you drink something like uhh, milk?

    但如果你喝的是牛奶呢?

  • You wouldn't see it.

    就看不到蟲子了。

  • Because milk isn't clear like water..."

    因為牛奶不是透明的…」

  • So she stopped drinking milk for a while,

    所以她有一陣子都不喝牛奶,

  • but she drinks them now.

    現在會喝了。

  • Of course...

    當然…

  • So this one time, our dad came to us and said,

    有一次,我爸跟我們說:

  • "Come on kids, we have to go! It's buy 1 get 1 free!"

    「孩子們,走吧!去買一送一大採購!」

  • But he said it kinda fast,

    但他說得有點快,

  • so it sorta formed into one word.

    所以整句糊成一個字,

  • So he said, "Come on kids. It's BUYONEGETONEFREE."

    他說:「孩子們,去『買一送一』了!」

  • And we were like, "What's buyonegetonefree?"

    我們當時想,「買一送一」是啥?

  • Do you know what buyonegetonefree is?

    你知道「買一送一」嗎?

  • I don't know what buyonegetonefree is.

    我不知道那是什麼。

  • Then what's buyonegetonefree?

    到底什麼是「買一送一」?

  • My sister asked if we could buy things at buyonegetonefree.

    我姊問,我們要去買東西的地方是不是「買一送一」。

  • My dad was like, yeah.

    我爸說:「對啊。」

  • So she brought her own money.

    所以她就帶著她的錢。

  • We were waiting in the car for our dad to get ready,

    我們就坐在車裡等爸爸,

  • when my brother said, "You know, at Buyonegetonefree, there's skeletons that pop out and steal your money."

    然後我哥哥說,「妳知道嗎?在『買一送一』會有骷髏出現偷走你的錢。」

  • So I thought, "Oh! This buyonegetonefree is like an outdoor horror place huh?"

    所以我就想,喔!這個「買一送一」一定是個恐怖的室外地帶吧?

  • And that scared my sister, and she didn't take her money.

    我姐姐嚇到了,決定不帶自己的錢。

  • When we got to buyonegetonefree, it was just a grocery store!

    我們到達「買一送一」時,發現就只是間雜貨店!

  • And my Dad was excited about the sale on milk.

    而我爸對牛奶的優惠活動很有興趣。

  • You know, I'm beginning to realize that a lot of these problems exist because older siblings suck.

    你知道嗎,我開始了解到,很多的問題都始於年長手足的唬爛。

  • So this one I believed in too.

    這個我也真的相信了。

  • You know how sometimes airplanes have those little smoke trails coming out?

    有時候飛機後面會有煙狀的拖尾,對吧?

  • What we thought, that those airplanes were what made clouds.

    我們以為雲都是飛機做的。

  • All those clouds.

    所有雲。

  • Just a bunch of airplanes.

    就是一堆飛機弄的。

  • And I remember seeing a factory with steam stuff coming out,

    我還記得看見工廠排放一堆煙時,

  • and I thought, "Wow, that's a very big cloud maker."

    我的想法是:哇!這個雲朵製造機真大。

  • Another funny thing is that my sister believed in the Tooth Fairy way longer than she believed in Santa Claus.

    另一件好笑的事情是,我姊姊相信有牙仙子的時間比相信聖誕老人還久。

  • That's because my parents didn't make us believe in Santa Claus.

    因為我們父母沒有想讓我們相信有聖誕老人。

  • You know, we just pretend Santa's real, like, You know Mickey Mouse?

    「大家只是假裝聖誕老人是真的,就好像…你知道米老鼠嗎?

  • Mickey Mouse isn't real.

    米老鼠不是真的。

  • You know how like, someone dresses up as him, and goes to Disneyland...

    是有人假扮成牠,跑到迪士尼樂園…

  • Well, it's kinda like the same thing, and you know we just pretend that he's real.

    聖誕老人也一樣,大家只是假裝他是真的。

  • We pretend that he comes and visits us every night, you know.

    我們「假裝」他晚上都會來拜訪我們。

  • Just... we pretend."

    都是假的。」

  • So yeah, we never really believed in Santa Claus, but for some reason, our parents made us believe in the Tooth Fairy!

    所以我們從沒真正相信有聖誕老人過,但因為一些原因,我們的父母讓我們相信世上真的有牙仙子!

  • So yeah, that's about it.

    所以就是這樣。

  • Glad I didn't believe in some stupid crap like my sister.

    真慶幸我沒有像我姊一樣相信一些蠢事。

  • Haha.. uhh.

    哈哈…呃…

So I was thinking of video ideas,

思考影片主題的時候,

字幕與單字
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