Today I have some special, exciting news

今天我有一則很令人興奮的特別消息

you've read the title

你們也看到標題了

I finally, finally, *laughs*

我終於、終於收到一千萬訂閲率的鑽石訂閲鍵了~

received the 10 million diamond play button

如果你不知道的話,

If you don't know, YouTube is handing out

YouTube在送這個鑽石訂閲鍵給擁有超過一千萬訂閲率的人

for people with over 10 million subbed channels,

我們有四千四百萬嘛...

this diamond *hits mic* play button

Youtube很遲才讓我加入這個派對呢

We're at 44 million

但我想和你們一起打開它

so...

真興奮啊

s-it's a little late to the party YouTube

這是在開玩笑吧?

but I thought we'd unbox this together.

「恭喜您擁有超過十萬...

alright alright alright

「恭喜您擁有超過十萬個訂閲者」

I'm so *fake* excited

你們在他媽的開玩笑嗎?

*awkward poods acts disappointed :( and shocked :O*

你們以為這只是遊戲?

Is this some kinda joke?

這是甚麼垃圾? 100k個使用者?

*anticipation builds with rustling*

那種垃圾我一個月就收四次了!

Congratulations for surpassing 100,000

他們在一年前已經公布過這個垃圾

Congrats for 100,000 subscribers

四年前才對

*angry child tantrum slam*

他媽的怎麼了?

Are you fucking kidding me?

幹嘛不給我440個這種東西?

*metal kicks in* DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF GAME?

你們送了一個給Jimmy Fallon!

What is this shit? 100k? i get that fucking shit 4 times in a month

一個給DiamondMinecraft

They announced this shit years ago

一個給Kwebbelcop

4 years ago

連iDubbnzTV也有給!

What-The-Fuck

還有這個是什麼?

Why don't you give me 440 of these?

其實有35個頻道已經達到一千萬訂閱率

yeah, give one to Jimmy Fallon

這個他媽的東西是什麼?

Give one to Diamond Minecraft *sky does minecraft fgs*

那傢伙是誰?

yeah, give one to Kwebbalcop

對,一個給ERB(Epic Rap Battles of History)

Even IDUBBBZ?! *hey, that's pretty good*

還送了一個給Smosh!

what is this?

簡直是他媽的屁話

the fuck is this?

我不幹了,YouTube

Who the HELL is that guy?

我他媽的累了

ERB? yeah give one to ERB

我原本在想我的努力終於被認同了

yeah give one to Smosh

人家還很開心呢

fucking bullshit *salty af*

什麼?

I ain't doing this shit anymore youtube

另一個包裹?

I'm fucking tired

會是這個嗎?

Here I was thinking for once my effort had been recognised

這個他媽的東西是什麼?

I was so happy :(

上面寫了什麼?

What's that?

是一百萬訂閱率的那個!

Another package?! *yeah like it was only just delivered*

而且他媽的壞了!

Could this be?

「恭喜你的訂閱率超過一百萬」

the fuck is this

好棒棒啊

what does it say?

我幾年前就已經超過一百萬了!

*metal part 2* IT'S THE ONE MILLION ONE

給我44個這種東西!

AND IT'S FUCKING BROKEN

夠了,YouTube

Congrats for surpassing one million

我受夠你們那些狗屁了

aghh that's cool, thAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO

我現在就告訴你們

GIVE ME 44 OF THESE

我的鑽石訂閲鍵在哪?

That's it youtube, I've had enough of your bullshit

我才不會打個#標籤

I'm calling you out right now, where's my diamond play button?

然後叫我的粉絲在twitter給你貼文

I'm not gonna do a fucking hashtag and make all my "fans" tweet at you

#給Pewds

#givepoodshisdiamondplaybutton

#給Pewds屬於他的鑽石訂閲鍵‬

send it to youtube

傳送給YouTube

It's about god damn time

這只是時間問題罷了

Are you listening youtube?

你們有在聽嗎,YouTube?

These are my demands

以下就是我的要求

1. I want 4 diamond play buttons

我要四個鑽石訂閲鍵

2. I want them delivered by a horse

要用馬送過來

3. I want them smothered in glitter *rethinks*

而且要有型和閃閃發光

-not too much make it classy

不要加太多,時尚就行了

*strokes beard*

我想送郵件來的人

4. I want the man delivering the packages to be a bearded beautiful man *so basically you?*

是個有鬍子的美男子

5. and I want a written apology- I want you to- I want a begged apology

還有我想你們寫一個道歉...

alright alright alright, but for real though ahh

我想你...

*awkward laugh as he trieds to cover up the mess he just made*

我要你們求我原諒你們

I can't believe its broken *actually really upset*

好了,但說真的...

what-the-fuck

我真的不敢相信那個是壞的

jesus

天啊

Good job Fed-Ex you fucking idiots, you fucked up

做得好,FedEx

like what am i gonna do, this is clearly trashed [like me]

你們是他媽的混蛋

like what am i gonna do with it? :'/

把一切搞砸了

i'm legit pissed *laughs through the pain*

我應該...這個很明顯是垃圾耶

i waited so long and i- you know what- i thought okay once they announced the diamond play button

我要拿這個來幹嘛?

2 years ago, i was like oh that's cool maybe now I'll finally get it

我很明顯十分生氣

*very sad music cri cri*

我已經等了很久,你知道嗎?

*holding back tears aww :(*

我還想...當我兩年前看到那個鑽石訂閲鍵

*only a few more seconds good job*

我就想「真酷,說不定我現在終於可以拿到吧?」

alright, alright bros

不是裝出來的失落

go forth, send out the hashtag

好了,兄弟們,行動吧

I want that shit trending

把#標籤傳送給他們

on twitter, facebook, tumblr

我要這個變成潮流!

harass them anywhere, Instagram, I don't give a fuck

在Twitter,Facebook,Tumblr!

This ends now

在所有地方騷擾他們!

*REMOVE HEADPHONES*

還有Instagram!

IF I DON'T HAVE MY YOUTUBE PLAY BUTTON

我才不管,現在結束了

WITHIN A MONTH

如果我在一個月之內沒有收到我的鑽石訂閲鍵

THEN I'LL- I'll do something... alright

我...我就會動手,明白了嗎?

i'll do something

我會做些很糟糕的事,YouTube

real bad youtube...

你們絕對會後悔的

you're gonna make -you're gonna regret this

這是一個戰爭,YouTube!

THIS MEANS WAR YOUTUBE

這是戰爭!

THIS... MEANS... WAR!!

不要讓我失望

*sensual* don't make me disappointed

轉發吧

not again

*#givepewdshisdiamondplaybutton

we are gonna do something special for his 500 million subscriber special