where I show adorable kids doing terrible things.

在這個單元裡，我會秀出可愛的小孩們做著很可怕的事情

And it got me thinking I could do a similar segment about a different topic.

這讓我想到我可以用不同主題做類似的單元

How many of you here have husbands?

在場有多少人有老公的？

All right.

好的

Great. All right. I love husbands.

很好，好的，我喜歡老公

I do. I love them.

我真的喜歡，我愛他們

They're handsome.

他們很帥

They're funny.

他們很有趣

I just don't want one of my own, and here are some of the reasons why in my brand new

我就只是不想要有自己的老公而已。在我的新單元裡，這裡有一些理由

segment, Why I don't have a husband.

說明為什麼我不想要有老公

All right.

好了

Here's the first one.

這是第一個

So that takes a steady hand and no steady job, I think.

我想他的手應該很穩，但應該是閒到沒事做

Wow!

哇

Here's the second one.

這是第二個

>> [LAUGH] >> So

（笑）所以

he's got a video game control in both hands, a plate of Cheetos on his chest.

他兩手都握著電視遊樂器的操控器，一盤奇多在他的胸部上面

And they say women are the multitaskers, come on.

大家還說只有女人可以一心二用，拜託

Men are multitaskers too.

男人也可以身兼數職的

Here's another one.

這是另一個

>> [LAUGH] >> Look Ma, no hands.

（笑），媽！妳看！我沒用手！

Also no girlfriend, and no job, and no feeling.

而且也沒女友，沒工作，沒感覺

[LAUGH] In my lips.

（笑）在我的嘴唇間

Here's another one.

這是另一個

[LAUGH] Well.

（笑）嗯

It's the old saying, I want a man in the streets and a cartoonist in the sheets.

這就是那古老的俗諺，我想要一個男人出得了廳堂，而在床上像個卡通人物

>> [LAUGH] >> Not only do I have photos,

（笑）我不只有照片

I also have a video.

還有影片

>> [SCREAMING] >> The white rhino charges.

（尖叫）白犀牛猛衝過去了

>> The white rhino charging into the [INAUDIBLE].

白犀牛衝進...（聽不見）

>> [LAUGH] >> [APPLAUSE] He

（笑）（鼓掌）他

seems like a gentle lover.

似乎是個溫柔的情人

[LAUGH] Now the guy eating

（笑）現在看來那個在

Cheetos off

胸部上放奇多來吃的那個傢伙

his chest seems like a real catch doesn't he?

好像是個理想伴侶了，不是嗎？

[LAUGH] If your husband does something you think I should see, please send it to me.

（笑）如果你的老公做了一些你覺得應該給我看看的事情，請傳給我