Pro Skater

專業滑板員﹐呼呼呼～

WOOHOHOOOOO

喔﹐等等﹐你等等！

Uh-oh. Wait, wait, WAIT!

天殺的…

God damn-

我要試著用樹幹滾死你們﹐懂？

I'm gonna try and kill you guys with this tree trunk, ok?

扶它﹐扶著另一邊﹐別…

Hold that, hold that end up, hold that- no. You guys are fucking this whole thing up.

媽的一群智障

*Giggles*

好了﹐停

*Laughs*

滾草皮

Now stop.

好乖！誰乖乖啊?

Roll over.

你好乖﹐接住！

Good boy! Who's a good boy?

哈！去撿回來

Right boy, now fetch!

去撿樹枝！

Yah! Go get it!

我又來滾樹幹了

Go get the stick!

殺了他們

I'm gonna do like a log roll.

滾爆他們﹐懂我意思吧？

Kill 'em.

鮑利﹐傳給我那顆石頭

Roll over 'em. See what I'm saying here?

嘿﹐這傢伙死定了

*game over music*

你被炒了﹐鮑利

Paulie, send in the boulder.

別再拍我馬屁了﹐你被炒了

Heh heh. This guy's so fucked.

給我馬上走人

Paulie you're fired.

看哪各位﹐馬兒耶

Now don't try to kiss up to me now. You're fired. You are outta here.

幹你的鮑利

Look guys. I found a horsie.

這傢伙超爛

*Link groans*

來啦﹐我來教你怎麼射

*Game Over music*

看仔細﹐拉弓然後放開

Fuck you Paulie.

就像那樣﹐學著點

This guy sucks!

下雨了耶

Let me show you. Let me show you how to do it.

喔幹﹐你有看到嗎？

Let me show you. You get it out and bam!

學校有教﹐下雨時要躲在樹下…

You just do it. One of those.

就不會被閃電打中

It's raining now.

三小啦

OH SHIT! Oh shit did you see that?!

你最好別吹那號角

You know what they say- always hide under a tree.

別…

Cus that way you can't get hit.

你最好別被閃電打中

The fuck?

然後摔進河裡溺死

Ah-ah. Don't you blow that horn.

別擔心各位﹐壓軸好戲就要開始

Ah-ah. Don't-

這招叫＂落井下石＂

Don't you get struck by lightning!

喝啊啊啊啊！

Fall in the river and die.

嚐嚐我的蜥蜴叉迴力鏢！

Don't worry guys- I've saved my best move for last.

嘿呀！

I call this one the Rock Bottom.

喔幹﹐他憑空接住耶

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

走投無路了吧白癡？

*Game Over music*

你已經沒武器…

Watch out for my Lizard Forked Boomerang!

喔﹐三小？

GEEEEE YAH!

這傢伙

Oh! He just caught it out of the air!

將是死樣最悽慘的人

Whatcha gonna do now dumbass? You don't have any weapons.

記得那個最慘的傢伙嗎？

Oh f- what the? WHAT THE-?!

現在換他了

AHAHAHAHA

再一個就好

This guy.

他醒來…他在跳舞耶！

Now this guy is the most killdest guy.

他超開心的！

Remember that one guy? Well now it's this guy.

可惜他不明白﹐他已經深陷泥淖

Just one more and we're all don-

掰啦！

Oh?

掰掰！

He's woke- He's dancing! *laughs*

真高興你還活著﹐兄弟

He's so happy!

我以為你死在那場爆炸中了

If only he knew the reality, of his situation.

你拿拖把是怎樣﹐清潔工嗎？

Goobaye!

這東西幹嘛叫做守護者？

*BOOM*

他媽的只會殺人啊

Bawbay!

【食人巨鷹】

It so good to see you landed on your feet, man. I though you died in that explosion.

這招是怎樣…唉唷！

It looks like you're, what are you a janitor now?

噢！停下來！

Why is this thing called a guardian?

好了﹐我知道攻略法了

*SWOOP*

我看完它全部的招式…

It just fuckin' kills me.

幹﹐三小？

The fuck with this shi- Ow!

它又有新招了

Aw! Augh! STAP!

讓我贏啦你他媽…

*laughs*

媽的我恨死這傢伙

Okay. I'm figurin' it out. I know all his moves now.

騙他衝過來﹐然後他會卡住

Oh-Aw-what? fuck?

趁機打它幾下﹐懂嗎？

Okay. He's got a new move now.

然後﹐看到沒？

Let me win you fuckin-

你還會是被一擊必殺

Damn this guy, I hate this fuckin-

哈哈﹐我抓到訣竅了

Bait this out, then he goes in for the hit.

你在下面幹嘛啊﹐兄弟？

Then he gets stuck, okay? Then you get a couple of hits.

你血量不太妙喔﹐你這個…

Then FAPOW! POW! See that.

垃圾東西！

*swoop*

操你的﹐去死…

And then he fuckin' kills you anyway.

搞屁啊﹐它又有新招了

Aaah now I'm gettin' it.

它在幹嘛？

Hey, what's goin' on over there, eh?

喔幹！三小？

Health bar's lookin a little low- you fuckin' piece of shit!

三小啦？！

You fuckin', DIE-

別鬧了好不好

What the fuck is- He's doin' some new shit now.

喔幹它又在集氣了

What is he doing?

快吃喔﹐你這廢物

Shit! What the fuck!

別鬧了﹐兄弟…

What the fuck!

喔天公伯啊！

Maaan, come on.

它一直射一直射耶

He's chargin' it up again?!

該死的

*Babbling*

停下來！別再雷射了！

Eat the food you fucking piece of shit!

快啊﹐你個渾蛋

Give me a break, man. Co- JESUS CHRIST!

快啊

It doesn't, never stops!!!

去、死、死、啦！！

Goddammit!

這把武器還不錯

Stahp!!! Stop shooting the fuckin laser! God-

被我弄壞了

*Breathing Excessively*

再會啦﹐一群畜生！

Come on you motherfucker!

不﹐別射我的氣球

C'mon.

*叭叭*

*Grunting*

接住！

Just...Fuckin'...DIE!

天啊兄弟﹐你有聽到嗎？

*Random babbling*

她喜歡我耶

*exhale*

她是我的夢中情人！

That's a pretty good weapon.

這感覺真棒！

I just broke it.

我該如何報答你呢？

Ahaha! See ya later, you fuckin' animals!

（20顆紅寶石）

No, don't pop the balloons. Please!

東尼﹐砸了他

*BEEP BEEP*

歡迎回來驢子大主廚

Eeeeeh

今天﹐我要來教各位

Catch!

如何料理出最完美的香煎牛排

*laughs*

輕鬆搞定

Aw, dude did you hear that? She likes me!

看吧

This is the woman of my dreams! Such an amazing feeling!

看看這些美味多汁的牛排

How can I ever repay you?

看哪﹐這傢伙在幹嘛？

Tony, get the boulder.

把自己組合起來？

Welcome back to Cooking with the dunk!

你蛋頭先生嗎？

Today, I'm gonna show ya how to cook the perfect Seared Primed Steak.

好了﹐把那給我

every ti-

再會啦！

*Grunting*

哈哈！趁你們不注意

*POOF*

把你武器空運到我的基地

And there you go.

然後我就能研究並開發出…不！

Just look at those, beautiful, beautiful steaks.

還給我！

Well, well, well, look what we got goin' on here?

一群爛人

Puttin' yourself back together again? What are you, Humpty Dumpty?

我真是個天才

You know what, give me that.

警告你別打我喔！

You are outta here!

別…好極了！

*kick*

看吧？我警告過他了

*Splash*

他們都不聽人勸的

Hahahahaha! As we speak, your very weapon is being Fulton-ed to mother base,

絕對別攻擊雞﹐這道理連我都懂

for me to research and develop... to se- no.

我他媽還是隻驢子耶﹐拜託

Put that back!

好耶﹐成功了！

Fuck these guys.

出航囉﹐各位先生女士！

*BOOM*

我命這艘船名為：單桅…

I'm a genius.

狗屎爛蛋船！

Don't you fuckin' hit me, man!

或許還能用﹐或許…

Don't you do it, don- uh!

來吧哥布林﹐送你個新武器

See? I tried to tell him.

拿著…別用踢的！

I try to tell people shit, and they don't fuckin' listen

用手拿！來

You just don't hit a chicken in Zelda. Even I know that.

渾蛋！你會把它弄壞…

And I'm a goddamn donkey, for crying out loud.

對﹐就是這樣﹐看吧？

Yes! It worked!

他抓到訣竅了

Set sail for adventure, ladies and gentlemen!

就是這樣！

I christen this ship, the SS...

至於你嘛﹐我送你樹葉吧

Fuckin' piece of shit!

因為﹐老實說我快被你煩死了

Maybe it still, nah maybe it still...no.

能用葉子殺我就試試看

Here you go, Bobokin! A new weapon for you!

呵﹐那蠻可愛的

Pick it- No don't kick it!

他有在試啦﹐他盡力了

You pick it up! Here!

幹嘛啊你﹐迴旋斬？

Asshole! You're rui-

我幹嘛給他葉子？

There you go. There you go, see? He gets it!

那是我最強的武器

There you go!

再迴旋斬啊你﹐快點

For you, Bobokin, I give you the leaf.

對了﹐就是這樣

Cause I'm, quite frankly, I'm sick of your shit.

好﹐現在站過來這邊

Good luck killing me with a leaf.

過來…恰到好處！

*Laughs* Aw, that's kinda cute.

你的桶子怎麼啦兄弟？

He's just trying, He's just trying his best.

你沒丟好啊

*Laughs* What are you doin' there, a little spin attack?

桶子在那邊

Why did I give him the leaf? That's my best weapon that I had.

再接再厲是吧？

Do that spin move you do. With the uh-

啊你的桶子咧？

Yeah, there ya go! That's the one!

你在丟空氣逆？

Okay, now come over here!

桶子跑哪去…

Now stand right...right, yeah there you go.

掰掰

*laughs*

糟了個糕

What's going on with the barrel, huh?

等等等等等…

Cause you ain't throwing it.

不要不要不要

Barrel's right there.

別…嗄？嗄嗄？

Trying it again. What?

好吧

But...there's no barrel.

天啊我還活著耶

What are you throwing?

You don't even have a barr-

Bye bye.

*Falling Sound Effect*

*crash*

Uh-oh.

Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.

nahnahnahnahnahnah Whoawhoawhoawhoa nah-

Nah- Whoa- Wha- Huh? Huh?

Wha- Ah-

Oh my god, I'm still alive!

*smack*

*outro*