[Music stops]

[Music stops]

[Deadpool]: Well, I'm an idiot.

[死侍]: 唉呀 我真傻

I could have sworn the invite said it was a costume party.

我發誓邀請函上寫的是變裝派對

[Man coughs]

[Man coughs]

That guy gets it.

那小子懂我意思

Love the hair.

髮型不錯喔

So, what's tonights theme?

借問一下 今晚的主題是啥啊？

Everyone's dressing like what the 90's thought was tough?

大家都走90年代的復古路線嗎

Oh, come on. Bartender me!

來嘛 來個酒保式的問候嘛

Ask me, "Rough day?" while you rub

一邊問"今天還好嗎？"

the same spot over and over.

一邊擦東西擦個沒完

[Bartender]: Do you ever shut up?

[酒保]: 可以閉上你的臭嘴嗎

I know. I'm a chatty cathy!

別生氣 我就是愛哈拉嘛

But what are you gonna do? Sew my mouth shut?

謀哩咩安抓？ 把我嘴縫起來？

Ah-ah-ah-ah!

等等等等等！

Don't answer that.

我不想聽到答案

If you stay here, Deadpool...

你要是不快滾 死小子...

It's gonna get ugly, real fast.

場面會變得很難看 馬 上 就 會

[Musical cue begins]

[Musical cue begins]

Ooh. Was that a musical cue?

等等 我好像聽到有老師在下音樂？

Gosh, it disturbs me

♩老天鵝啊 我一看到你♬

to see you Deadpool

♩就覺得蛋疼 死侍♬

In fact, it usually does

♩沒在開玩笑 我常有這種感覺♬

'Cause you look like my balls

♩因為你那顆包著面罩的頭♬

under that hood, Deadpool

♩跟我的蛋蛋沒兩樣♬

Just thinking of it

♩光一想到♬

kills my buzz

♩我就快煩死了♬

You know, normally that would have just hurt my feelings...

我這個人是很玻璃心的

... but, DAMN it. I've always wanted to be in a musical!

但這次就算了 因為我一直都想在音樂劇軋一角！

There's no man in town

♩方圓百里內♬

as reviled as you

♩就屬你最北爛♬

and hell, they all wish you would die!

♩大家都希望你不得好死♬

Even though you've proven

♩就算把你幹掉♬

quite tricky to kill

♩並非易如反掌♬

Everyone's going to

♩但大家都樂於..♬

tryyyyy

♩挑戰♬

Noooooooooo

♩沒..

Oooooooone's

人..能..♬

Slick as Deadpool

♩像我一樣靈活♬

No one's quick as Deadpool

♩像我一樣迅速♬

No one punches you

♩或在K別人♬

right in the DICK

♩老二的時候♬

like Deadpool!

♩像我一樣準！♬

For there's no man in town

♩因為你找不到♬

half as--

♩有誰可以..

Ooo, chimichanga!

水喔 是墨西哥捲餅

Perfect, give up man, it's gone

..抵我一半的戰力 沒用的 放棄吧♬

You can ask Anna, Natty or Betsy

♩不信你問問安娜 娜塔 或 貝琪♬

And they'll tell you who's team

♩你們馬上就知道♬

They prefer to be oooooon!

♩她們都是挺誰的♬

[Black Widow]: Avengers.

[黑寡婦]: 復仇者聯盟

[Rogue]: X-Men.

[小淘氣]: X戰警

[Deadpool]: Come on, say X-Force!

[死侍]: 快說 "特攻隊萬歲！"

[Psylocke]: Bugger off, Wade.

[靈蝶]: 韋德 給我滾

[Deadpool]: So, what's going on with this threesome anyway?

[死侍]: 拜託喔 這三人組是怎樣

Sexy recon? Super "Charlie's Angels"?

性感偵查隊？ 超級霹靂嬌娃？

Oh! I could be your Bosley!

對喔 我可以當你們的查理老闆

[Rogue]: Watch your back, sugar.

[小淘氣]: 小心你背後 寶貝

Noooooooooo

♩沒..

Oooooooone's

人..能..♬

Fun like Deadpool

♩像死侍一樣有趣♬

Shoots his gun like Deadpool

♩像他一樣百發百中♬

Heroes should not kill a ton

英雄可不能跟你一樣

like Deadpool

殺人如麻

My kill count is really

♩看我千人斬的成績♬

Intimidating!

♩多麼驚人！♬

Hey, kill that guy!

♩大夥們 一起上♬

That Deadpool!

♩把死侍做掉♬

Shoot off his balls

♩把他的蛋蛋射下來♬

Cut off his route

♩包抄他♬

Hey, sexy friends

♩嘿 辣妹們♬

won't you please help me out?

♩可以高抬貴手 幫個忙嗎？♬

Fiiiiiiiirst

♩第一個..

Oooooooone

可以..♬

To kill Deadpool

♩幹掉死侍的人♬

gets to win the dead pool!

♩就能獲頒死"屍"♬

If Spider-Man were here

♩要是蜘蛛人在這♬

that'd be really cool

that'd be really cool ♩那就好了♬

You're lucky I was

♩算你狗屎運♬

passing through here

♩我剛好路過這♬

Yaaaay!

耶！

Your tights do great things

♩哥你的緊身褲♬

for your arse!

♩真能凸顯你的翹臀♬

[Hey, you're no slouch in that way either.]

[小夥伴 你的屁股也蠻翹的阿]

Thanks, voice!

謝啦 小夥伴

But every last inch of me's

♩但我身上可說是♬

covered in scaaaars!

♩千瘡百孔～～♬

[Gun shot]

[Gun shot]

SHIT!

操！

Mother... fucker!

我操你媽的！

[Gun shot]

[Gun shot]

Nooooooooo

♩沒..

Ooooooone

人..能..♬

Flips like Deadpool

♩跳得跟死侍一樣高♬

Changes clips like Deadpool

♩耍槍神速♬

No one wields katanas

♩手起刀落♬

and RIPS like Deadpool

♩一招送你上天堂♬

I'm especially good at

♩我特別擅長♬

DECAPITATING!

♩腦部移除手術♬

Heads roll for Deadpool!

♩死侍刀下 無頭不滾♬

When I was a boy

♩年少懵懂時♬

I humped this unicorn

♩獨角獸是我♬

Every morning to help me get off

♩最好的發洩管道♬

But lately I'm thinking

♩不過我最近在考慮♬

I might hump The Hulk

♩到綠森林後庭逛逛♬

Tell me, what is that like

♩分享一下你的遊記嘛♬

Romanoooooff?

♩黑寡婦小姐♬

Noooooooooo

♩沒..

Oooooooone

人..能..♬

Jokes like Deadpool

♩開死侍那種玩笑♬

or provokes like Deadpool

♩或像他那樣挑釁別人♬

No one else has an ego

♩也沒人會像死侍那樣♬

to stroke like Deadpool

♩愛吹捧自己♬

You guys wanna spoon

♩三位晚點想親熱一下♬

and watch Conan later?

♩順便看個康納秀嗎♬

NO!

不可能！

My what a guyyyy

♩前無古人 後無來者♬

DEADPOOOOOOL

♩死侍♬

DEADPOOOOOOL [MEEEEEEEEEEE!]

♩死侍♬ [就是我！]

[MEEEEEEEEEEE!]

[就是我！]

[Door opens]

[Door opens]

HEY! Who's gonna help clean this shit up!?

等等 你們誰要負責把這裡清乾淨！？

[Deadpool, distant]: Not it!

[死侍] 不是我！

[Bartender]: Awww, fucking perfect...

[酒保]: 我還真他媽的衰！

[Instrumental track plays]

[Instrumental track plays]

[Hey, you made it to the credits! ]

[哇 你都看到演出人員名單囉]

[I'm so proud of you.]

[真為你感到驕傲]

[If you stay until the end, there's a really fun easter egg.]

[如果看到影片的最後 會有一個有趣的彩蛋等著你]

[You know, Marvel-style.]

[漫威式的那種]

[That sounds like a sexual position.]

[總感覺有點情色的暗示...]

[Anyway, I digress...]

[呃 抱歉我離題了]

[While you wait, here's a little something for the kids]

[等待的同時 我們專為小朋友準備了一道菜的食譜]

[INGREDIENTS YOU'LL NEED]

[以下是你會需要的食材]

[1 pound ground beef, 1 small onion, chopped, 1 clove garlic, minced]

[一磅的牛絞肉、洋蔥和大蒜，這兩樣都要剁碎]

[1 tsp. dried oregano leaves, 1 tsp. crushed red pepper, 8 flour tortillas (6 inch)]

[一茶匙的乾燥披薩草、辣椒粉、八片六吋的墨西哥捲餅]

[6 oz. shredded cheese, 2 cups oil, 1/4 cup sour cream]

[六盎司的乳酪(要切碎)、兩杯油、1/4杯酸奶油]

[1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro]

[1/4杯剁好的新鮮香菜]

[If you like cilantro, that is. Some people hate it.]

[憑喜好酌量使用，有些人不太喜歡它的味道]

[Brown meat in large skillet on medium-high heat; drain. Add onions, garlic, oregano and crushed pepper; cook 5 min. of until onions are tender, stirring occasionally.]

[用中熱火來煎肉，等絞肉的水份炒到快沒有的時候，加入洋蔥、大蒜、披薩草跟辣椒粉，簡單翻炒個五分鐘左右，炒到洋蔥變軟為止]

[Spoon 1/4 cup meat mixture onto center of each tortilla; top with cheese. Fold in all sides of tortillas to completely enclose filling; secure with wooden toothpicks. Place in single layer on baking sheet. Refrigerate 20 min.]

[之後起鍋，把炒料放到備好的餅皮中間，灑上起司，然後把餅皮摺好，用牙籤把封好的餅皮固定住，放到烤盤紙上再拿到冰箱冰20分鐘]

[Heat oil in large saucepan on medium-high heat. Add chimichangas, 2 at a time; cook 5 min. or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Remove and discard toothpicks. Serve chimichangas topped with sour cream and cilantro.]

[用中大火先熱油，然後把剛剛做好的捲餅放進去炸，一次放兩個就好，炸五分鐘左右，讓餅皮變金黃色就可以起鍋，接著用紙巾把多餘的油份吸乾，拿掉牙籤，最後配上酸奶油，灑個香菜，就可以上桌啦]

[Look at that! A free, fan created Deadpool short film..]

[看倌您說，又有好看的死侍影片可看 ]

[...and a chimichanga recipe to go with it! It's your lucky day!]

[...還教你怎麼做墨西哥捲餅，今天真是您的幸運日！]

[Good for you. Give yourself a hand!]

[不錯吧！自己試試看！]

[Not like that...]

[嗯..大概是這樣...]

[...OK, maybe a little like that.]

[嗯對啦 就是那樣]

[Did you know that less than 87% of people watch credits?]

[話說你知道少於八成的人會看到工作人員名單嗎]

[And 94% of all statstics are made up on the spot?]

[不過幾乎有九成的統計數字都是由這些人貢獻的]

[But seriously, all these folks made this thing for you!]

[總而言之，我們做了這支影片給你看]

[So, thank you for watching our thing!]

[謝謝你把影片看完]

[If you saw this, write something nice! Because you're nice!]

[如果你都看到這了 給我們一些不錯的回覆唄！ If you saw this, write something nice! Because you're nice!]

[OK, here it comes... The big end easter egg!]

[好啦廢話結束，來看彩蛋吧！]

[Be kind to one another, and enjoy the chimichangas!]

[善待你身邊的人，一起分享墨西哥捲！]

[Excuse me, I gotta get back to work...]

[不好意思，我要回去工作了QAQ]

[*Ahem*]

[*Ahem*]

[Broom sweeping sounds]

[Broom sweeping sounds]

[Deadpool, quietly]: Come to daddy, precious...

[Deadpool, quietly]: 快回來爹地這 寶貝..

[Metal claw SNIKT!, toy squeak]

[Metal claw SNIKT!, toy squeak]

[Deadpool]: Uh, excuse me?

[Deadpool]: 嘿 老兄

That's my unicorn.

那是我的獨角獸

[Toy squeak]

[Toy squeak]

[Wolverine]: Go fuck yourself.

[金鋼狼]: 你給我滾

[Deadpool]: Oh, let's go do that!

[Deadpool]: 可是人家會怕寂寞耶

Have you got time for a fastball special?

你陪我試試那招合體技嘛 超★疾速球？

[SNIKT!]

[SNIKT!]

Oooh, two in the pool, one in the stool?

還是你們倆玩 我旁邊看就好

[LIKE, COMMENT SUBSCRIBE AND SHARE WITH EVERYONE! <3]

[別忘了按下LIKE鍵，留下評論或訂閱我們的頻道，還要把影片分享給你的小夥伴看喔&lt;3]