-Shut up!

-[thinking]: I'm so bored.

I just wish something supernatural would happen right now.

What the hell?

"If you write the full name of a person in this book,

that person will die five seconds.

The cause of death will always be suffocation"?

Ha. Right.

-(woman) Let go! Help!

This man's trying to steal my purse. Let go!

-[laughs evilly]

The name's Cecil Adams,

the most notorious handicapped bandit west of the Mississippi!

-[thinking]: Huh. Let's see...

"Cecil... Adams."

-[laughing]

[watch ticking]

-[thinking]: Man, I knew it was fake.

-[gasps]

[choking]

-[thinking]: No way!

-[gagging]

[flame whoosh]

-[gasps]

-(man 1) Did that guy just choke himself to death?

-(man 2) Cool. Didn't think that was possible.

-[thinking]: Sweet mother of God.

-So, you write any person's name in that thing and they die?

-Of suffocation.

-Like, they suffocate themselves?

-Yeah, in any way possible, I guess.

-I thought it was impossible to suffocate yourself.

-Yeah, why don't you prove it?

Write my name in there.

-Um... okay.

All right, Peter, what's your last name?

-Peter.

-No, your last name.

-Peter.

-So, your full name is Peter Peter?

-My parents are crack addicts.

-(both) Ohh.

-Okay...

"Peter... Peter."

Here we go.

[watch ticking, suspenseful music playing]

[wind whistles]

-I knew you guys were full of sh--

[choking, Anthony gasps]

-Oh, my God!

-[restricted]: Make it stop.

-[nervously]: Uh... I don't know if I can.

-[gags gutterally]

-Oh, my God, dude, you gotta get rid of that thing.

-No. Don't you get it, Anthony?

With this book, I can change the world.

I can rid this world of all the filth!

Serial killers...

-[groans]

-(Ian) Robbers...

-[gasps, groans]

-(Ian) Cast of the Jersey Shore...

-[groaning]

-(Ian) I am going to purify this world

and nobody... is gonna get... in my way.

I...

am...

Justice!

[laughing maniacally]

-Quiet down out here.

I can't hear Wheel of Fortune over your stupid laugh.

-You can't tell me what to do anymore, Mom.

[chuckles devilishly]

You're gonna die, Mom.

[chuckles]

[watch ticks]

But that doesn't make any sense.

I wrote your whole name on here. Look.

-My name's not Mom, dumbass.

-I've called you Mom all these years

and I don't even know your real name?

-And you never will.

[laughs sinisterly]

-Never mind that.

[sinisterly]: I have work to do.

[newscast theme plays]

-According to sources,

every criminal in the world is now dead.

-Whoa. Congrats, man, that's great.

-It's not enough.

-But you killed every criminal in the entire world.

-That guy's looking at me funny.

-Looks pretty normal to me.

-I don't like it.

I don't like it one bit!

[dramatic music playing]

-[gags]

-That's better.

-Dude, he didn't even do anything.

-Come on, he had a pedo-stache.

I'm sure he's guilty of something.

-You have to stop this, man. You can't play God anymore!

"Write the name of a person who is dead,

and they will be brought back to life"?

-Oh, I see how it is.

You think you decide who lives and dies?

[laughing maniacally]

[climatic music playing]

-[gagging]

-You'll never defeat me!

-Yes... I... will!

-Fine!

[scribbles]

[chuckles devilishly]

-You son of a bitch.

[scribbles]

-[scoffs] What's that gonna do?

-You'll see.

-Wait.

No!

-The old switcheroo. [chuckles]

-[groaning]

-[laughing maniacally]

[continues laughing]

Captioned by SpongeSebastian

-(announcer) To see bloopers and behind-the-scenes footage,

click the link in the description below!

-¿Qué?

-(announcer) Thanks for subscribing!

And if you are going to,

could you give me your full name, please?

[laughs creepily]