You can do some stuff,

你可以做些事情

but every now and then you remember that "it's" there.

但偶爾會想起束縛的存在

I was living in Japan during the earthquake in 2011.

2011年我住在日本，當年發生了大地震

A few weeks and months of political unrest while I was living overseas.

我住在海外的時候，發生了數週至數月的政治動盪

We lived with bags by the door, ready to go, in case we needed to get out.

我們總把背包放在門口，為逃難做準備

I found out in 2008 I had PTSD, Complex PTSD,

2008年我發現自己患有創傷後壓力症候群，複雜性創傷後壓力症候群

but I think the diagnosis should have probably been made when I was 14 years old.

但我認為應該要在我十四歲時就診斷出來

I was raped and as a result I live with PTSD.

我因為被強暴而罹患了創傷後壓力症候群

The civil war in Lebanon broke out in 1975.

1975年黎巴嫩內戰爆發

I was only 17 years old.

當時我只有十七歲

I lived through that for about 12 years.

伴隨著內戰，我就那樣生活了十二年

As it kind of sunk in, I started to feel really guilty,

創傷後壓力症候群真正影響我後，我開始感到罪惡

because I had always associated PTSD with people who had been to war,

因為我一直以為創傷後壓力症候群和參與戰爭的人才有關係

and I just didn't think I deserved it.

我不認為這應該發生在我身上

The PTSD triggers, they ambush you.

創傷後壓力症候群的刺激會突襲你

You don't know when it's going to come.

你不知道什麼時候會發作

It's with the unknown everyday you wake up

每天起床你都不知道什麼時候會發作

and you don't know if you are going to have a trigger today.

也不知道今天一整天會不會發作

I was at a movie

我當時在看電影

and there's a part where this woman got trapped in a car.

有一幕場景是一位女性被困在車裡

I had a serious panic attack.

我恐慌症就開始發作，很嚴重

There's a song that was talking about like, shooting and armed robbery.

有一首歌在講槍擊和武裝搶劫

And just hearing that song, like, that was all it took.

只是聽到那首歌就足以讓我發作

Something happened when I was 13

我十三歲時發生了一件事

and when my trigger happens, in that moment,

所以每當我一受到刺激

I am 13.

我就像回到十三歲的那個時刻

Usuallly the sounds of jet planes overhead would trigger off the memory for me of those days.

通常是戰鬥機從頭頂飛過的聲音刺激我回想起那些日子

It would make me feel weak in the legs,

它會讓我雙腿無力

and my memory will go back to that time,

然後會想起當時的情況

trying to look after my children when they were little and protect them.

試著在孩子年幼的時候照顧、保護他們

All I have to do is hear a jet plane,

只要一聽到戰鬥機的聲音

and that's where my mind would go.

就會讓我身陷回憶當中

At times it has literally felt like I'm dying.

有時候我真的覺得我快死了

You feel like you're never going to get past this.

你會感覺自己永遠無法撐過去

One of the things that's helped me a lot was group therapy.

團體治療是其中一個幫助我很多的療法

This happens to more people than you think.

其實創傷後症候群患者比你想像的還多

I start to have a conversation with this thing that you have.

我開始和這個疾病對話

I did counseling for two years in college.

我上大學時去諮商了兩年

It felt like that got my life into a pretty manageable place.

那感覺很像人生回到了可以掌控的狀態

I am trying to build up the courage to attend a support group.

我試著鼓起勇氣參加團體治療

I would have these days where you're just like,

有些日子你會意識到

you know, there's nothing I can do to do anything that you're supposed to do.

有某些你該做卻束手無策的事情

In group therapy, someone called it a lost day.

團體治療中，有些人會稱這些日子「消失的日子」

It's such a simple thing,

這是很容易理解的形容

but putting the words "lost day" to those days helped me, like, overcome.

但用「消失的日子」這個詞幫助我克服

And I think accepting that is really important,

我認為接受自己有創傷後壓力症候群很重要

and to just be, like, it's OK to, like, freak out.

感到慌張也無所謂

And just be, like, this is scary, because it's scary.

明白這是可怕的事情，而事實也是如此

And don't ever tell them to get over it,

別總告訴病人要撐過去

because it's extremely painful.

因為過程非常痛苦

It takes practice, and it takes patience,

這需要練習，需要耐性

and it takes faith.

還需要信心

You have to know that the fact that you've been through something so traumatic,

你要知道你經歷過創傷事件

and you're here.

而如今走到了現在

You are much stronger than you think you are.

你比你想的更加堅強

Don't feel guilty when you have a good day.

過完順利的一天不必感到不安

Give yourself time to heal.

給自己時間痊癒

You can't judge yourself for it.

別因為它批判自己

It'll never be the same, but it can get better.

縱使無法回到原本的樣子，但一切肯定可以更好

And it's worth whatever it's going to take.

付出的代價都會值得的

You can have a better life.

你可以有更好的人生

There's light at the end of the tunnel.

黑暗隧道的盡頭總會有盞燈

You've just got to find the right thing that works for you.

只要找到對你有幫助的事物

And getting help is not a sign of weakness.

尋求協助不是懦弱的展現

It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage.

這需要拿出很多力氣、勇氣

And you deserve the happiness that comes with getting better.

你值得擁有進步之後的快樂

My name is Kate.

我叫 Kate

My name is Tammy.

我叫 Tammy

My name is Kirk.

我叫 Kirk

[All] And I live with PTSD.

我們是創傷後壓力症候群患者