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  • It's like living with like a leash on, a little bit.

    有點像是被束縛著生活

  • You can do some stuff,

    你可以做些事情

  • but every now and then you remember that "it's" there.

    但偶爾會想起束縛的存在

  • I was living in Japan during the earthquake in 2011.

    2011年我住在日本,當年發生了大地震

  • A few weeks and months of political unrest while I was living overseas.

    我住在海外的時候,發生了數週至數月的政治動盪

  • We lived with bags by the door, ready to go, in case we needed to get out.

    我們總把背包放在門口,為逃難做準備

  • I found out in 2008 I had PTSD, Complex PTSD,

    2008年我發現自己患有創傷後壓力症候群,複雜性創傷後壓力症候群

  • but I think the diagnosis should have probably been made when I was 14 years old.

    但我認為應該要在我十四歲時就診斷出來

  • I was raped and as a result I live with PTSD.

    我因為被強暴而罹患了創傷後壓力症候群

  • The civil war in Lebanon broke out in 1975.

    1975年黎巴嫩內戰爆發

  • I was only 17 years old.

    當時我只有十七歲

  • I lived through that for about 12 years.

    伴隨著內戰,我就那樣生活了十二年

  • As it kind of sunk in, I started to feel really guilty,

    創傷後壓力症候群真正影響我後,我開始感到罪惡

  • because I had always associated PTSD with people who had been to war,

    因為我一直以為創傷後壓力症候群和參與戰爭的人才有關係

  • and I just didn't think I deserved it.

    我不認為這應該發生在我身上

  • The PTSD triggers, they ambush you.

    創傷後壓力症候群的刺激會突襲你

  • You don't know when it's going to come.

    你不知道什麼時候會發作

  • It's with the unknown everyday you wake up

    每天起床你都不知道什麼時候會發作

  • and you don't know if you are going to have a trigger today.

    也不知道今天一整天會不會發作

  • I was at a movie

    我當時在看電影

  • and there's a part where this woman got trapped in a car.

    有一幕場景是一位女性被困在車裡

  • I had a serious panic attack.

    我恐慌症就開始發作,很嚴重

  • There's a song that was talking about like, shooting and armed robbery.

    有一首歌在講槍擊和武裝搶劫

  • And just hearing that song, like, that was all it took.

    只是聽到那首歌就足以讓我發作

  • Something happened when I was 13

    我十三歲時發生了一件事

  • and when my trigger happens, in that moment,

    所以每當我一受到刺激

  • I am 13.

    我就像回到十三歲的那個時刻

  • Usuallly the sounds of jet planes overhead would trigger off the memory for me of those days.

    通常是戰鬥機從頭頂飛過的聲音刺激我回想起那些日子

  • It would make me feel weak in the legs,

    它會讓我雙腿無力

  • and my memory will go back to that time,

    然後會想起當時的情況

  • trying to look after my children when they were little and protect them.

    試著在孩子年幼的時候照顧、保護他們

  • All I have to do is hear a jet plane,

    只要一聽到戰鬥機的聲音

  • and that's where my mind would go.

    就會讓我身陷回憶當中

  • At times it has literally felt like I'm dying.

    有時候我真的覺得我快死了

  • You feel like you're never going to get past this.

    你會感覺自己永遠無法撐過去

  • One of the things that's helped me a lot was group therapy.

    團體治療是其中一個幫助我很多的療法

  • This happens to more people than you think.

    其實創傷後症候群患者比你想像的還多

  • I start to have a conversation with this thing that you have.

    我開始和這個疾病對話

  • I did counseling for two years in college.

    我上大學時去諮商了兩年

  • It felt like that got my life into a pretty manageable place.

    那感覺很像人生回到了可以掌控的狀態

  • I am trying to build up the courage to attend a support group.

    我試著鼓起勇氣參加團體治療

  • I would have these days where you're just like,

    有些日子你會意識到

  • you know, there's nothing I can do to do anything that you're supposed to do.

    有某些你該做卻束手無策的事情

  • In group therapy, someone called it a lost day.

    團體治療中,有些人會稱這些日子「消失的日子」

  • It's such a simple thing,

    這是很容易理解的形容

  • but putting the words "lost day" to those days helped me, like, overcome.

    但用「消失的日子」這個詞幫助我克服

  • And I think accepting that is really important,

    我認為接受自己有創傷後壓力症候群很重要

  • and to just be, like, it's OK to, like, freak out.

    感到慌張也無所謂

  • And just be, like, this is scary, because it's scary.

    明白這是可怕的事情,而事實也是如此

  • And don't ever tell them to get over it,

    別總告訴病人要撐過去

  • because it's extremely painful.

    因為過程非常痛苦

  • It takes practice, and it takes patience,

    這需要練習,需要耐性

  • and it takes faith.

    還需要信心

  • You have to know that the fact that you've been through something so traumatic,

    你要知道你經歷過創傷事件

  • and you're here.

    而如今走到了現在

  • You are much stronger than you think you are.

    你比你想的更加堅強

  • Don't feel guilty when you have a good day.

    過完順利的一天不必感到不安

  • Give yourself time to heal.

    給自己時間痊癒

  • You can't judge yourself for it.

    別因為它批判自己

  • It'll never be the same, but it can get better.

    縱使無法回到原本的樣子,但一切肯定可以更好

  • And it's worth whatever it's going to take.

    付出的代價都會值得的

  • You can have a better life.

    你可以有更好的人生

  • There's light at the end of the tunnel.

    黑暗隧道的盡頭總會有盞燈

  • You've just got to find the right thing that works for you.

    只要找到對你有幫助的事物

  • And getting help is not a sign of weakness.

    尋求協助不是懦弱的展現

  • It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage.

    這需要拿出很多力氣、勇氣

  • And you deserve the happiness that comes with getting better.

    你值得擁有進步之後的快樂

  • My name is Kate.

    我叫 Kate

  • My name is Tammy.

    我叫 Tammy

  • My name is Kirk.

    我叫 Kirk

  • [All] And I live with PTSD.

    我們是創傷後壓力症候群患者

It's like living with like a leash on, a little bit.

有點像是被束縛著生活

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創傷後應激障礙到底是什麼樣子 (What PTSD Is Really Like)

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    Mike NiKao-Kusata 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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