Their writing is neat.

他們的字跡很工整。

They keep their bedroom tidy.

他們的房間很整齊。

They are often a little shy.

他們通常有點害羞。

They want to help their parents.

他們很樂意幫助他們的父母。

They use their brakes when cycling down a hill.

他們騎腳踏車下坡時會記得踩煞車。

Because they don't pose many immediate problems, we tend to assume that all is well with good children.

由於這些「好孩子」不太會製造迫切需要解決的問題，所以我們經常假設他們「沒問題」。

They aren't the target for particular concern that'll goes to the kids who are graffitiing the underpass.

他們不像在地下街塗鴉的孩子一樣會受到「特別關注」。

People imagine the good children are fine because they do everything that's expected of them.

因為「好孩子」總是表現得符合人們的期待，所以人們從來不擔心「好孩子」的成長。

And that, of course, is precisely the problem.

然而，孩子成長沒問題就是有問題。

The secret sorrows⏤and future difficulties⏤of the good boy or girl begin with their inner need for excessive compliance.

對於順從他人的過度自我要求，這些好男孩、好女孩漸漸在內心深處積累痛苦，埋下未來隨時可能引爆的不定時炸彈。

The good child isn't good because by a quirk of nature they simply have no inclination to be anything else.

「好孩子」的乖巧並不是與生俱來。

They are good because they have no other option.

他們乖巧是因為他們別無選擇。

Their goodness is a necessity rather than a choice.

他們是「必須」乖巧，而非「選擇」乖巧。

Many good children are good out of love of a depressed, harassed parent who makes it clear they just couldn't cope with any more complications or difficulties.

許多「好孩子」之所以乖巧，是因為他們深愛的父母過於勞碌、鬱悶，而向他們挑明無法再應付其它麻煩事。

Or maybe they are very good to soothe a violently angry parent who could become catastrophically frightening at any sign of less than perfect conduct.

又或許他們的不完美會讓父母大發雷霆，所以才會用乖巧的行為來安撫父母的情緒。

But this sort of repression of more challenging emotions, though it produces short-term pleasant obedience, stores up a huge amount of difficulty in later life.

孩子壓抑自己的真實情緒，短期而言能讓父母享受被順從的歡快感受，但卻會造成「好孩子」日後面臨更大的痛苦。

Practiced educators and parents should spot signs of exaggerated politeness and treat it as the grave danger it really is.

因此建議教育人士和父母，一旦發現孩子有過度禮貌的徵兆，務必嚴正看待和處理這個現象。

The good child becomes a keeper of too many secrets and an appalling communicator of unpopular but important things.

「好孩子」習慣性往心裡收藏秘密，而且不擅長表達不受歡迎但卻極為重要的事情。

They say lovely words, they're experts in satisfying the expectations of their audiences,

他們只會說別人想聽的話，做別人期待他們做的事，

but their real thoughts and feelings stay buried and then generate psychosomatic symptoms, twitches, sudden outbursts, and sulphurous bitterness.

並持續壓抑心中真正的想法和感受，最後引發抽搐、情緒暴走或極度憤恨等身心症狀。

The sickness of the good child is that they have no experience of other people being able to tolerate their badness.

「好孩子」的問題在於他們沒有意識到自己「壞」的那一面其實可以被包容。

They have missed out a vital privilege accorded to the healthy child;

他們沒有機會享受每個健康成長的孩子都該享有的重要特權，

that of being able to display envious, greedy, ego-maniacal sides and yet be tolerated and loved nevertheless.

那就是即使表現出忌妒、貪婪、自私自利的一面，仍然能獲得身邊人給予愛與包容。

The good person typically has particular problems around sex.

此外，好人通常也會受到「性」事所困。

As a child, they may have been praised for being pure and innocent.

他們可能小時候就常接受「純潔」、「天真無邪」這類的讚美。

As they become an adult however, like all of us,

長大成人後，他們也會和其他人一樣，

they discover the ecstasies of sex, which can be beautifully perverse and excitingly disgusting.

發現性所帶來的歡愉，那種既變態又美好，有點噁心卻又難以抗拒的快感。

But this may be radically at odds with the picture of what they believe they are allowed to be like.

然而，這種歡愉可能與他們心中自己應有的樣子相抵觸。

They may in response disavow their desires, go cold and detached from their bodies,

他們會進而以「否認慾望、冷淡對待自己的身體」等行為作為回應，

or perhaps give in to their longings only in a disproportionate way that's destructive to other bits of their lives and leaves them disgusted and frightened.

或是因為屈服於自身渴望以至於破壞了原本的生活，讓他們感覺羞恥和恐懼。

At work, the good adult has problems too.

除了生活，在職場上，「好大人」也會遇到問題。

As a child, they follow the rules.

孩提時代的他們總是循規蹈矩。

Never make trouble and take care not to annoy anyone.

從不惹事，也謹慎處理他人的情緒。

But following the rules won't get you very far in adult life.

可是在成人的世界，凡事循規蹈矩的人都沒有太大的發揮空間。

Almost everything that's interesting, worth doing or important will meet with a degree of opposition.

任何有趣、有意義或有重要性的事物，都會引起某種程度的反彈。

A brilliant idea will always disappoint certain people and yet may be very much worth holding on to.

如果無法體認到一個絕佳的點子不可能滿足所有人，但卻非常值得堅持到底的這個事實，

The good child is condemned to career mediocrity and sterile people-pleasing.

「好孩子」註定會成為平庸的員工，過著拼命取悅他人的無聊人生。

Being properly mature involves a frank, unfrightened relationship with one's own dark sides, complexities, and ambitions.

相反的，一個真正成熟的人應能坦然無懼地面對自己的黑暗面、複雜的情緒和野心。

It involves accepting that not everything that makes us happy will please others or be honored as especially "nice" by society

他明白讓他開心的事雖然不見得都能取悅別人，也不見得都會受到社會的肯定，

⏤but that it can be important to explore and hold on to it nevertheless.

但還是值得他去探索、去追求。

The desire to be good is one of the loveliest things in the world,

想成為「好孩子」的這份渴望是一件非常美好的事，

but in order to have a genuinely good life, we may sometimes need to be, by the standards of the good child, fruitfully and bravely bad.

但是要擁有實實在在的好人生，我們有時可能需要（以好孩子的標準來說），做一些壞事。

We love bringing you these films,

我們很高興能與你分享這些影片，

if you want to help us to keep bringing you thoughtful content,

如果你願意贊助我們繼續創作這類教育影片，

please consider supporting us by visiting our shop at the link on your screen now.

請點擊畫面上的連結到我們的網路商店購買相關商品。