Hello!

I have just one question for you.

Are you ready?

Am I ready for what? who is this?

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN WWE CHAMP JOHN CENA

DEFENDS HIS TITLE, IN THE WWE SUUPPERRRRRR SLAMMMMMMMMMM

Right now you can earn this awesome pay-per-view event, for just $59.99!!

I'm sorry no there is not any chance in hell they were ever gonna have wrestling

in this house again, thank you

but no. have a good day

hello?

AND GOODBYE TO ANYONE STANDING IN JOHN CENA'S WAY

WHEN HE TAKES ON 6 MEN IN A STEEL CAGE CHUTES IN LADDERS MATCH.

AT WWE SUPERRRRR SLAMMMMM

order now and take ten dollars for the lowly price of just $49.99!

Sir you guys just called me and as I mentioned before we're not

ordering this, so please stop calling my house thank you and goodbye

Ringing

Hello?

Hi can I speak to champ?

Who?

Champ? is champ there?

Who is champ?

THAT QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED THIS SUNDAY NIGHT

WHEN JOHN CENA DEFENDS THE BELT

Listen. Hey!

...IN WWE SUPERRRR SLAMMMM

Oh my gosh.. (Echoes)

Hey! Sir?.. Could you quit calling my house??

Hey! Sir?.. Could you quit calling my house?? - TAKING ON SHEAMUS

THE UNDERTAKER

Quit calling me!

CM PUNK

AND EVEN TRIPLE H TO THE BIG SHOW

IN A SPIT-SWAPPING MAKEOUT -MATCH

Holy hell. - IN WWE SUPERSLAMMMM

LISTEN! Hello??! IN WWE SUPERSLAMMMM

Helloo?? Can you stop screaming in your little sirens?

or whatever that is?! can you knock it off for 5 seconds?!!

NOT INTERESTED. STOP CALLING MY F**KING HOUSE

Ringing

Ringing

Hello?..

I'm watching you.

Excuse me?!

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE UNDERTAKER TOLD JOHN CENA

BUT WILL HE BE ABLE TO TAKE THE BELT FROM THE MIGHTIEST CHAMPION IN WWE HISTORY?

AT THIS WEEKEND WWE SUPPERR SLAMMMMMMMM!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS F**KED

STOP CALLING, MY HOUSE, BEFORE I GET YOUR NUMBER, I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN

STOP CALLING, MY HOUSE, BEFORE I GET YOUR NUMBER, I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN - JOHN CENA

IN A TRIPLE DOUBLE MATCH

AND ABSOLUTELY TEAR YOU TO F**KING PEICES

AND ABSOLUTELY TEAR YOU TO F**KING PEICES - LADDERS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? - CHAINSAWS

I KNOW YOU ARE JOHN CENA CRAZY MOTHER F**KER - EXPLOSIONS

I KNOW YOU ARE JOHN CENA CRAZY MOTHER F**KER - FIREBALLS

I KNOW YOU ARE JOHN CENA CRAZY MOTHER F**KER - POPCORN

QUIT. CALLING. MY. HOUSE. NOW!

NO WRESTLING, NO SUPER MOTHER F**KING SLAMS IS HAPPENING IN THIS HOUSE

Ringing

I swear,

to jesus, if this is those wrestling f**ks again..

O- Okay good morning uhh, hi I'm just calling this morning to ask if you're

a supporter of the United States military..

oh my god I apologize we've been getting

calls all morning I, I apologize and yes, yes i am.

great, a- are you a supporter of the Marine Corps?

Yes!

absolutely!

Good, great, because a former decorated member of the United States Marine Corp needs your support.

AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!

HE'S GONNA GET IN THE RING AND PUT BOOTS TO ASSES

You?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? I cant even handle this. - THIS WEEKEND

You?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? I cant even handle this. - WWE SUUUUUUUU-

i can. not. handle this - UUUUUUUUU-

- PPPERRRRRRRRR SLAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW IN THE LOW PRICE OF ONLY $39.99

I cant believe you're still calling me. im about to lose my sh*t.

Ringing

I swear I'm about to call the police.

Hello. You have a collect call from-

JOHN CENAAAAAA

Will you accept the charges?

Oh, f**k your mother.

Ringing

LISTEN. STOP CALLING. IS LISTENING

NOT YOUR STRONG SUIT?

BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE IT F*CKING IS'NT, BUT YOUR NOT, HEARING ME

SHUT YOUR F**KING BEAT DOWN, BRAIN

FROM SUPER SLAM, AND LISTEN!

I DONT CARE IF THEY'RE $59, $49, $39, OR 39 F**KING CENTS

I DONT WANT IT, IT WONT HAPPEN, ITS NOT GOING ON MY TV AGAIN,

IT WONT BE ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

NEVER WILL THERE BE WRESTLING IN THIS HOUSE

IM GOING THROUGH CLOSETS, AND TAKING OUT T-SHIRTS AND BLURTING THEM

IM CALLING THE POLICE AND TELLING THEM THAT YOU'RE HARASSING ME

STOP IT, NOW. I AM CALLING THE POLICE

Good luck to you,

Have a nice day,

F**k yourself.

Ringing

God damn it,

WOAH HO HO HO HOLD ON, HOLD ON

Marie? Marie?

This is the ZMorningZoo radio show

Im Z-104 how are you?

What.

We've been,

heh

We've been phone scamming you

Your Husband

Your Husband Donny told us to prank

I, We are all in a fight right now, are you kidding me right now?

IM SO SORRY, I feel so bad for you..

I couldn't believe the mouth that you had on you

OH MY GOD.

well listen-

I haven't.. I haven't had my coffee yet, shut up.

Yeah, im sorry yeah..

Well listen now, we wont be calling you back anymore I promise, okay?

(Yawn) Thank Jesus

You wont have to hear this

(John Cena Theme plays)

ssshhhh...

you wont have to hear that anymore.

I first thought i was gonna go to jail

and I don't, i don't... agh, ugh.