So for once in my entire life, I'm making a serious video.

人生中第一次，我要拍一部嚴肅的影片

No comedy. No jokes. No nothing!

不搞笑、不講笑話，什麼都沒有！

At least I'll try.

至少我會試試啦

But before that, I have a question for you.

在那之前，我有個問題想問大家

Do you want to get the power to make anyone fall for you?

你們想不想要有能力，讓任何人都愛上你呢？

And when I say anyone I mean boys, girls, miscellaneous, cats, dogs.

不論是男生、女生、貓、狗⋯⋯各種

I'm no one to judge.

我沒有要評斷你們！

Well of course you want that!

你當然想要啊！

You clicked on this video!

你都點進這部影片了！

And the secret to get everything you've ever wanted

做到這件事的秘訣就是

aka how to speak with a French accent.

學習用法國腔講英文！

And ze secret eez...

而學習法國腔的秘密就是⋯⋯

being French!

身為法國人！

I said no bad jokes. Damn it.

吼，我都說不會講爛梗了，可惡！

Anyway, so let's get to the heart of the matter.

讓我們回到正題

And start with the sound that defines the French accent,

首先，法國腔最主要的聲音就是

which is the "r" /r/

"r"（「ㄏ」的音）

Okay so do it with me now.

跟我一起發發看吧

/r/

/r/

But yeah, the /r/ sound doesn't exist at all in English.

不過沒錯，這個音在英文中完全不存在

So you probably need to train.

所以你可能得練習一下

The secret behind the sound is that you need to control it.

秘訣是你要學習如何控制它

For example, we don't say croissant , we say croissant.

舉例來說，我們不會說 croissant（譯註：很重的 /r/ 音），我們會說 croissant

So if you want to sound French, you need your /r/ to sound soft and controlled.

所以如果你想聽起來像法國人，你的 /r/ 必須輕柔點

Number two, in French, we don't have /v/ sound. (/th/)

第二點，在法文中，我們沒有 /v/ 的音（註：他想說的是 /th/）

I mean /v/! vat, vis. (that, this)

我是說 /v/！像 vat、vis（譯註：that、this）

Anyway!

算了！

So if you want to sound French, if you want to be French,

如果你想聽起來像法國人、如果你想成為法國人

if you want to make love to people just by talking to them,

如果你想光用講話就激起別人的「性」趣

(that escalated quickly)

（好像進展太快了）

you just need to remove that /v/, vis,

你得去掉 /v/ 的音

the /th/ sound by z.

把 t-h 改成 /z/ 的音

In that, a sentence like "This evening, me and my brother went to the park. This was wonderful."

"This evening, me and my brother went to the park. This was wonderful." 這個句子

would become

發音會變成

"Zis evening, me and my brother went to ze park, zees was wonderful."

"Zis evening, me and my brother went to ze park, zees was wonderful."

Number three, if you want to sound like a real French, speaking English like a Spanish cow,

第三點，如果你想聽起來像個真正的法國人，像西班牙牛那樣說英文（譯註：此為法文慣用語）

(French idioms are the best!)

（法文慣用語好好用！）

You need to drop the "h".

你必須省略 "h" 的音

What the f**k am I doing with this video...

我這部影片到底在幹麻⋯⋯

So what I was saying is that you need to stop pronouncing the "h".

我的意思是，你不可以發出 "h" 的音

In French and while doing a French accent, the "h" is silent.

在法文中，"h" 是無聲的

In fact, you wouldn't say "We are going to the hostel."

你不會說 "We are going to the hostel."（我們要去青年旅社）

but "We are going to ze ostel."

你會說 "We are going to ze ostel."

And finally, what defines our accent, is that it's fancy and sexy.

最後，我們的腔調是華麗和性感的

We try to kiss and make love with words.

我們試圖和文字親吻並做愛

And I guess you wonder how to do that.

你一定在想是怎麼辦到的吧

Well, you only need to make your vowel sound small by barely moving your mouth.

只要把母音唸得非常小，幾乎不要動嘴巴就可以了

Make everything you say very soft.

所有的字都要很輕柔的發音

Melodic, becomes a lover he, she, it (?) always wanted you to be.

像旋律一般，變成你的愛人想要你成為的樣子

And here it is!

就完成了！

You just need to learn how to act like a French,

只要學習法國人的行為

and you'll be able to go eat snails in France with your baguette.

就能在法國拿著你的法國麵包吃蝸牛了！

And no one will ever be able to know that you're not one of us.

沒有人會發現你跟我們不一樣

And if they ask you if you speak French, you already know what to say!

如果他們問你會不會說法文，你就說

Putain!

Putain！（譯註：此為法文中非常常用的髒話）

And this is the end of how to speak English with a French accent.

這部影片就到此為止

I hope you'll like the video.

希望你們都喜歡

If you did, don't forget to put a thumbs up, share the video, subscribe if you have not.

喜歡的話請記得按個讚、分享影片，並訂閱我的頻道

I will see you in my next video, and in the meantime, don't forget to smile, and bye bye!

在下部影片見囉！同時，別忘記微笑～掰掰！