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  • Where in the world is Superwoman today

  • - Hyderabad, India.

  • (neighing and hooves beating)

  • What up, everyone?

  • It's your girl, Superwoman

  • and yes I am in India right now for my book tour.

  • Right off the bat, shameless plug.

  • I'm also going to all of these other places.

  • To get your tickets, link is in the description.

  • www.LillySinghBook.com/tour

  • Just saying.

  • Okay, enough of that.

  • Now because I'm traveling so much,

  • I've been in airports a lot

  • and airports are always fun

  • said no one ever.

  • JK. JK.

  • They're all right.

  • I mean I guess it depends

  • if there's a McDonald's.

  • Anyways, here are the types of people

  • you will for sure see in airports.

  • Number one, the liquid smugglers.

  • So you're waiting in the security line, right?

  • Waiting to put your stuff onto the belt

  • and walk to the machine

  • which by the way is for sure

  • giving all of us some sort of disease.

  • I can't wait until 2050

  • where we all just have tails for no reason.

  • But anyways, you're about to walk through this machine

  • and the most annoying thing about this entire process

  • is that person who works there

  • that just sounds like a robot

  • and is all like, "All right people

  • "I need laptops out by themselves,

  • "shoes off, everything out of your pockets.

  • "No water bottles or liquids in your bags

  • "and stay with your bin

  • "and push your bin into the machine."

  • This person annoys me so much

  • because they're so monotone and repetitive.

  • But you know who's more annoying than this person?

  • The goddamn passenger that ignores

  • everything this person is saying.

  • I really don't understand.

  • Okay, there's a sign that tells you the rules.

  • There's a real life person yelling out the rules.

  • How are you confused?

  • Because straight up everything around you

  • is just like "Laptops by themselves."

  • And you step up to the spot like "Ready."

  • "Shoes off."

  • "Ready."

  • "No water bottles."

  • "Ready."

  • And without fail, every single time,

  • the entire line will be held up

  • because not only will someone

  • have a water bottle in their backpack,

  • they're gonna argue about it.

  • Just like "What do you mean?

  • "It's just water.

  • "Nobody told me about the water bottles.

  • "I was never warned about the water bottles."

  • And I'm just standing there with my goddamn bin

  • since you were warned about the water

  • more than the poor people on the goddamn Titanic.

  • Get the F out of here.

  • Hurry up to the lines,

  • so I'll go through this machine and get a tail,

  • be mother effing Avatar up the joint.

  • Okay, the heat is getting to my head.

  • Number two, evil airline staff.

  • Here's the thing about airline staff, right?

  • Is they're either Mother Teresa or Voldemort.

  • Okay, there's no in-between.

  • It's either nice or pure evil.

  • You walk up to the little kiosk in the airport

  • where you gotta give your bags and check in

  • and you're in a great mood.

  • Okay, you're like I'm at the airport,

  • I'm about to go on a vacay.

  • Let me go up to this person

  • and be like "Hi, how are you?"

  • And then that chick behind the counter's just like

  • "Welcome to your tape."

  • Because, straight up, I make it a point

  • to be really nice to that person

  • that's checking me in and taking my bags

  • because I know she's about to weigh my suitcase

  • and let's be real,

  • my suitcase is 100% overweight.

  • My makeup bag alone weighs like 20 pounds.

  • It's filled with all those lip glosses I never use.

  • So I'm just like "Hi, great day!

  • "How was your day?

  • "Look how personable I am.

  • "Don't look at the scale, look at me.

  • "Look how long my hair is."

  • Now the limit is 50 pounds

  • and I am overjoyed when I see my suitcase is 50.1

  • and I'm like, my god, I'm such a light packer

  • until this chick says to me,

  • "Ooh, that'll be a hundred dollars overweight charge."

  • And I'm just like, "A wha?

  • "Overweight?

  • "Girl, I will open up my suitcase

  • "and take out a single Q-tip, okay?

  • "Don't be trippin'.

  • "You can't let 0.1 slide?"

  • It's just a fact, some airline staff

  • want to make your life hell.

  • Just like, "Yes, Ma'am, here's your boarding pass.

  • "If you'd like a seatbelt with your seats

  • "that'll be an additional $60.

  • "Oh what's that? What's that?

  • "Sorry, speak up, Sir.

  • "Oh, you're vegetarian?

  • "Well, we only serve steak so...

  • "Oh, you requested a window seat? Okay.

  • "Here's a middle seat in the middle of the plane

  • "with a seat that doesn't recline.

  • "Bye now!"

  • Number three, doodlers.

  • So right before you walk into the security line,

  • you go and give your passport and your boarding pass

  • to someone who is sitting in that little booth

  • and they check your documents.

  • They take a pen and they scribble something

  • on your boarding pass

  • and I cannot be the only person

  • that's wondering, "What the F are you writing?"

  • They literally circle random things

  • and now I'm stressed

  • because the markings on my boarding pass

  • do not look like my friend's boarding pass

  • and I'm convinced they 100% have flagged me.

  • That's right. You know why?

  • Because of my skin.

  • It's dry.

  • But honestly, I don't think it means anything.

  • I think they just all make it up

  • and it's a scam to make it look like they have a process

  • when they really don't.

  • Straight up they're probably just like,

  • "Okay. Hi. Yes, Ma'am.

  • "Circle, circle.

  • "Triangle.

  • "Let me pretend to look up and match her face

  • "even though I'm on the wrong page here.

  • "Okay, dot dot.

  • "Now I've got my cootie shot.

  • "Alright. Here you go, Ma'am.

  • "Actually no, wait one second, sorry.

  • "Hashtag, that's right.

  • "Because of the dry skin."

  • (laughing)

  • My skin is really dry though with the traveling.

  • What the hell is this?

  • Hotels have the weirdest lotions.

  • Just like cranberry citrus

  • lemon pepper cotton candy butt hole.

  • Alright, back to the video.

  • Number four, baggage bullies.

  • So you've landed,

  • you've gone through customs

  • and now you're going to pick up your luggage.

  • The moment you touch your suitcase

  • you can expect 17 porter people, baggage people,

  • to come and offer you to help with