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  • Hey, everyone!

    大家好!

  • So, I wanted to announce the MacAir winner, first of all.

    首先,我要先來公佈 MacAir 得獎者。

  • Congratulations!

    恭喜啦!

  • If this isn't you, don't worry, I'll be giving another MacAir and announcing the winner on September 13th.

    如果這不是你,別擔心!我會再送出一台 MacAir ,並於 9 月 13 日公佈得獎者。

  • Now, I have been a serial monogamist since I was 15.

    回歸正題,從 15 歲到現在我都有著愛情潔癖。

  • Right? I'm all about that long term relationship.

    懂嗎?我是穩定交往的擁護者。

  • And I've said this a million times but I wanted to say it again, I don't believe in playing games when it comes to dating.

    已經說過一百萬次了,但我還是要再說一遍:談到感情,我從不相信耍小心機會有用。

  • Okay, so if you want him to like you, you have to be 6 feet away from him at all times.

    好的,如果你希望他喜歡上你,你必須無時無刻和他保持 6 呎的距離 (6 呎約等於 182 公分)。

  • If he texts you, calculating the amount of time between all of his texts on average, and then add 2, divided by 14, plus 3,

    如果他訊息你,把他傳給你的每一則訊息所花的時間平均下來然後加 2,再除以 14,最後再加上 3 ,

  • that's how much time you have to wait before actually hitting him.

    得出來的數字就是你得等多久才能回他。

  • And when the sun is equidistant from the equator on the line of Polaris, make sure that you absolutely wear short shorts.

    而太陽到赤道的直線距離和到北極圈等長時,一定要穿上超短熱褲 。

  • Personally, I like to be as direct as possible.

    我個人喜歡越直接越好。

  • I like you!

    我喜歡你!

  • And not everybody likes that, and that's fine!

    好啦,不是每個人都喜歡那樣,不過沒關係!

  • You can just move on.

    永遠有下一個。

  • Trust me.

    相信我。

  • Somebody who only wants you because they can't have you is always going to be looking for the next best thing.

    如果有人只是因為得不到你而想擁有你,他們最後一定會去找下一個更好的。

  • Babe, you've been on your phone this entire dinner, what are you doing?

    寶貝,你整個晚餐都在用手機,你在幹麻?

  • Playing a game.

    玩遊戲。

  • Babe, can you not play games while we're on a date?

    寶貝,能不能不要在我們約會的時候玩遊戲?

  • Just give me like 2 more minutes.

    再給我兩分鐘。

  • Yeah.

    水喔。

  • Plus, playing hard to get always feels like you're something to be gotten, right?

    再說,欲擒故縱會讓人覺得你只是件物品,不是嗎?

  • Like you're something to be shopped for.

    好像你只是等著被人購買一樣。

  • We have an array of girlfriend models available, this is our best-seller, called "the Parents' Pleaser".

    我們提供了一系列女朋友展示品,這是我們的暢銷商品,叫做「爸媽最愛」

  • Made of organic wifey material and comes with the most upgraded cooking software.

    由有機賢妻良母材質製成,還搭載了最新烹飪軟體版本。

  • If you're looking for something a little bit more on the wild side,

    如果你在找個性稍微狂野的女孩,

  • she has 2,500 spontaneous evenings downloaded into her as well as potentially dangerous advantures.

    她被植入了 2,500 種夜生活選擇,包括具潛在性危險的各式冒險。

  • And a pension for aggressive bed play.

    外加激烈床上活動功能。

  • What about that one?

    那個呢?

  • Ah, apology, sir, that one is unfortunately sold out.

    先生不好意思,很可惜這位已經賣光了。

  • Well, can't I just take the display model?

    不能直接買展示品嗎?

  • Well, I suppose you could, would you like to know what she comes with?

    可以是可以,那您想知道她有哪些功能嗎?

  • No, I don't care.

    不用,我不在乎。

  • Take my money.

    錢在這。

  • Dating is hard enough as it is.

    約會本身就已經夠難了。

  • You're two people who come with your own set of baggage, trying to come together in this lasting emotionally supportive relationship

    兩個人帶著各自的包袱,試著在精神上給予對方長久的支持。

  • where you still maintain a physical attraction and regular intercourse with each other.

    同時還必須保持自己對對方的吸引力,並在生理上適時滿足彼此。

  • Like, why would you add to that already complicated system by faking your feelings up front?

    幹嘛沒事要在一開始耍那些心機,讓談戀愛這個本來就很複雜的事更難上加難?

  • I'd like to take you to dinner on either the 8th or the 9th at 7pm.

    8 號或 9 號晚上七點我想帶你去吃晚餐。

  • Hmm, I've got classes those evenings.

    那兩晚我都有課。

  • How would Thursday the 11th work for you?

    不然星期四 11 號你可以嗎?

  • Brunch? Followed by the museum of modern arts.

    早午餐如何?吃完我們去逛當代藝術博物館。

  • Done and done.

    就這麼定了。

  • I love a man who can keep up a schedule.

    我超愛會排行程的男人。

  • I love a woman who can plan.

    我超愛會規劃的女人。

  • Pencil me in.

    用鉛筆把我記下吧。

  • I write in pen.

    我都用原子筆。

  • It worked with my boyfriend.

    我跟我男朋友就是這樣。

  • I mean I met him through mutual friends and I thought he was very cute.

    我們透過朋友認識,而我覺得他非常可愛。

  • And so... you guys remember that Facebook feature where you had to "ask" a person's relationship status?

    所以…你們知道臉書上有個「詢問」感情狀態的功能嗎?

  • I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's ever used that freakin' button.

    我非常確定我是唯一用過那個莫名其妙功能的人。

  • But I asked it, he was single.

    不管怎樣,我問了,他當時單身。

  • And I said, "Hey! You're Cute! I'd like to take you out to dinner. And it's my birthday so you can't say no."

    所以我就說:「嘿!你好帥!我想邀你吃晚餐,然後因為是我的生日所以你不能拒絕。」

  • And he didn't say no.

    他也沒有拒絕。

  • And that was two years ago.

    這是兩年前的事了。

  • So, I encourage you, just for the realm of possible love in your life to just throw away the games and give your heart.

    所以我鼓勵你們,為了生命中任何可能的真愛,把小心機丟掉!把你的心交出去!

  • I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gothem.

    我是 Anna Akana。永保美好吧,哥譚市!

Hey, everyone!

大家好!

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為什麼談戀愛不該欲擒故縱!? (Why girls shouldn't play hard to get)

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    Sabrina Hsu 發佈於 2022 年 05 月 20 日
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