I'm here with the new game Skyrim,

我在玩一款新的遊戲 《無界天際》（Skyrim）

it just came out.

遊戲才剛出來沒多久

This game is getting great reviews.

不斷受到廣大好評

I've heard some great things about this from

聽說了不少關於本作的趣事

uh...

來自...額...

from... Joe Youtube

Joe的Youtube頻道

errr...

額....

it's a first person shooter-

這是個第一人稱射擊遊戲

I feel like everybody plays IKEA-Born

我感覺每個人都喜歡玩 - IKEA的起源

so I'm just gonna make a Sonic to keep you fresh.

所以我選了音速小子來奪取你們的目光

"You started this war."

“是你開始這場戰爭的”

Yeah!

是的！

"Plunged Skyrim into chaos."

“使得無界天際陷入混沌”

Yeah!

讚啦！

"And now the Empire is going to put you down,"

“所以在此本王國要將你拋棄”

YEAH!

太讚啦！

"and restore the peace."

“並取回安寧”

Put him down!

“做了他！”

[TRAIN TOOTING]

[火車鳴笛]

What?

什麼？

"What was that?"

“那是什麼？”

"It's nothing."

“別管了”

Put him down!

殺了他

No no no!

不 不 不！

Don't put me down!

別把我殺了啊！

This is for Sonic Boom?

這是音速小子的遊戲啊

You're supposed to put the other guy down!

你們應該要去殺其他角色

You guys have to- [TRAIN TOOTING]

你們應該...[再度鳴笛]

[GASP]

[驚訝]

Could it be?

不會吧？

But the legends...

但是傳說...

I thought those stories were just kid's tales. [THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE THEME SONG]

我以為這些只是童話故事

OH my god.

我的天

It's really him.

真的是他

Ladies and gentlemen

各位觀眾

SKYRIM is here to save me!

天際降此來救我

*FUS RO DAH*

*FUS RO DAH*

Oh my god!

我的天

Thankyou Skyrim!

謝謝你無界的天際

I love you man.

我愛死你了 老兄

It's raining trains!

下起火車雨了！

It's raining trains!

下起火車雨了啊！各位

Yeah, whoop his ass Skyrim!

耶！打爆他，天際

Yeah!

耶！

Oh yeah pick him up!

把它撿起來

Pick him up with your WHEELS! [WILHELM SCREAM]

用你輪子把他夾起來

YEAHHH!

讚啦！

What have I done.

我做了什麼好事

'Chu can't hit whatchu can't see

你打不到你看不見的東西

Rudolf ya Red Nosed

紅鼻子魯道夫

piece of shit!

你這廢物垃圾

Get the fuck-

個我閃...

I summon my trusty steed,

我召喚我嘴信任的坐騎

Tommy Wiseau [POKEMON THEMESONG]

白人 湯米

Ride, Tommy.

駕！湯米

Skyrim awaits!

無界天際 在等著我們

And there's adventure around every corner!

然而路途中處處存在著冒險

"Hi doggy."

“你好，狗狗”

WHAT?

啥？

Why am I a dog now?

為什麼我突然變成狗了？

Oh god...

我的天

Is that what I think it is?

跟我想的一樣嗎？

"YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!"

“麗莎 你會把我撕成兩半！”

Tommy no!

湯米不！

You can't fight it!

你打不過

He's too big!

他太大了

Do the Pulp Fiction!

快點彈奏 “黑色追缉令”

Do the intro!

彈它的入場曲!

"I work for Belethor, at the General Goods store."

“我在貝拉索雜貨店工作”

I don't remember asking you

我可不記得有問你

a GODDAMNED THING.

任何可悲的問題

FUS RO DIE!

FUS RO 殺！

[SKYRIM THEMESONG]

[SKYRIM主題曲]

[POLICE SIRENS]

[警察到來]

Uh oh...

不好了...

"What say you in your defence?"

“你該如何辯護你自己？”

It wasn't me.

不是我做的

"Oh, forgive me Thane."

噢，請原諒我領主

"I didn't realise it was you."

“我並沒有認出你”

"We'll look the other way this time."

“我們會從其他地方找”

"FUS RO-"

“FUS RO-”

Dang.

可惡

"I need to ask you to stop..."

“我必須請你停止”

"That... shouting is making people nervous."

“那 ‘吼聲’ 使人們不得安寧”

I won't do it again man.

我不會再犯了 老兄

I won't do it again.

不會再犯

But watch out.

但是小心

I'm gone do it again haha!

我又作祟了 哈哈！

I got some good materials here.

我得到了不少上等素材

I think I'll go ahead and make the

我覺得是時候來做個

Portal Gun.

次元槍

"Not too shabby..."

“還不算太糟糕”

"Apprentice level work."

“雖說是初學者工藝”

"But solid."

“但是挺結實的”

This shit is about to get crazy.

我們要開始大鬧一場了

Stand and fight archers!

上啊！ 弓箭手們

Shoot those trains outta the sky!

把那些火車射到外太空去！

Oh god!

噢 不

Surprise werewolf attack!

狼人奇襲！

I shoulda expected this!

我早就該料到！

There's only one way to defeat werewolves.

只有一個方法能夠打敗狼人

Get in there bear!

去吧！巨熊

Fight them!

打爆他們！

[REMIX OF "MISIRLOU"]

[“MISRLOU”的改編音樂]

God, you got fucked up.

哈，你被電慘了

Oh yeah!

爽啦！

Get in there bear!

衝入敵陣！ 巨熊

Oh yeah.

爽啦！

Shoot those trains down-

射下那些火車

This is really turning out to be

這將演變成一場

a really long battle.

很長久的戰爭

We gotta start wrapping this one up

最好趁我老婆還沒回家前

before my wife gets home guys.

結束這場鬧劇

Oh god...

別啊

Now it's a party.

狂歡派對開始了

Who brought the macho mans in here?

是誰？把摔角手們帶進來的

Now it's gettin' CRAZY.

越來越混亂了

[TRAINS TOOTING, MACHO MEN "OHH YEAH"ING AND GENERAL AUIDIBLE CHAOS]

[一片混亂]

Where am I?

我在哪裡？

Am I still exist?

我還活著嗎？

Am I still-

我還...

There's a hundreds-

這裡有上百..

There's hundreds of bears,

上千隻熊

we've gone on too...

這實在是太...

Who am I controlling?

我在控制誰？

That's it you mother fuckers!

就是你了混賬xx

Now you gotta

現在你必須

fight ME!

與我戰鬥！

[BATTLE CRY]

[落幕]

Woah.

哇噢

Is that a crab

那是個戴著

with a top hat and a monacle?

紳士帽和單片眼鏡的螃蟹嗎？

Dats where I draw the line.

太超過了

C'mon Master Chief.

走吧 士官長

Let's get the

我們快點

FUCK outta here.

離開這鬼地方

[THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE THEMSONG]

請訂閱 [湯瑪士火車配樂]