#IveChanged.

#我改變了

This first one is from DrewAmundson15,

第一個是 DrewAmundson15 的發文

he says "When saying the Pledge of Allegiance , I used to think we were saying, "for Richard Stanz."

他說：「我以前在宣讀《效忠誓言》時，我都會以為我們在講為了一個叫 Richard Stanz 的人」

(laugh)

(笑)

- Yeah, for Richard Stanz. - Richard Stanz.

- 是啊，為了 Richard Stanz - Richard Stanz

- One nation invisible. - Yeah, invisible.

- 隱形的國度 - 對啊，隱形 (註：原文為 indivisible)

This one's from @Jasontanamor,

這個是來自 @Jasontanamor 的發文

he said "I used to put my grandma's dentures under my pillow so I could get more money from the tooth fairy."

他說：「我以前會把阿嬤的假牙放在我的枕頭下面，希望牙齒仙子可以給我比較多錢。」

That's a good idea.

這是個好點子

- She's not using them, at night time. - Yeah.

- 反正睡覺的時候她也沒在用啊 - 對啊

She goes to bed, now and then, boom.

她總是會上床睡覺的啊，搞定

Yeah, she goes to bed, she pops them out, puts them in the...

對啊，她上床去，然後把假牙「啵」一聲的拔出來，然後放在那個什麼...

- Yep, glass of Efferdent. - Efferdent. (laugh)

- 對啊，放在艾弗丁的瓶子裡 - 艾弗丁 (笑)

- Darling! - Goodnight, darling! (laugh)

- 小親親！ - 晚安，小親親！ (笑)

- This one is from @Darknstormysmom. - Ooh.

- 這個是來自 @Darknstormysmom - 噢

- Sounds like a party. - Yeah.

- 聽起來很熱鬧啊 - 是啊

She says "I thought DKNY was pronounced "Dick-Knee."

她說：「我以前以為 DKNY 的發音為 "Dick-Knee"。」 (註：Dick 有男性生殖器之意)

Wow there you go

哇，幹得好

- Oh that's... - It's not, it's not.

- 噢這真是... - 不是這樣發音的，不是

- That would hurt. - I have a Dick-Knee dress, Dick-Knee shoes.

- 這樣很傷人欸 - 我有 "Dick-Knee" 的洋裝、"Dick-Knee"的鞋子...

(laugh)

(笑)

This one's from @loudinclear,

這個是來自 @loudinclear

she says "I used to record the school closings due to weather and replay them to trick my mom

她說：「我以前會預錄好學校因天氣因素放假的廣播

when I didn't want to go to school."

然後在我不想上學的時候放給我媽聽騙她放假了。」

That's brilliant!

欸這很聰明欸！

- That would be good. - That's brilliant!

- 這很棒啊 - 太聰明了！

This one is from @Alicia_baltus,

這個是來自 @Alicia_baltus

she said "I used to drop candy in the holes in the sewer grates so that the Ninja Turtles had a snack."

她說：「我以前會把糖果丟進下水道裡面，想要給忍者龜吃點心。」

That's nice! You can still do that!

這很棒啊！你還是可以繼續這樣做！

- Com'on! - They'd appreciate that!

- 對啊！ - 他們會很感激你的！

This one is from @Tiffaniamber111,

這個是來自 @Tiffaniamber111

she says " To make me seem cooler, I used to tell everyone that my cousin sold drugs.

她說：「為了讓我看起來比較酷，我以前會告訴大家我親戚是藥頭

She's a pharmacy technician."

她是一個藥劑士。」

- Well, that's... not lying. - Not lying, yeah.

- 這個嘛... 也不算說謊啦 - 對啊，這不是說謊

Uh, the last one is from Xyuppi,

最後一個是來自 Xyuppi

he says "I used to whisper to my food coming out of the microwave, 'You're so hot!' "

他說：「我以前會對剛從微波爐拿出來的食物輕聲低語：你真惹火！」

There you go, those are tonight show hashtags.

好啦，這些就是今晚的 hasgtags

Check out more of my favorites, go to TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS.

想要看更多我喜歡的發文，請到 TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS