And I've been getting a lot of questions from people on the internet of like, "I want to kill myself. What should I do?"

而我在網路上收到很多人提問說：「我想自殺，我該怎麼辦？」

If you commit suicide, I don't even know, like, I don't even know, what would happen ... to you.

如果你自殺了...我不知道...不知道你會怎麼樣。

All I really know is what happens to the people around you after you die.

我只知道在你死後你身邊的人會怎麼樣。

I think it'll be really, really hard for your family... to live normally for a long time.

我想你的家人會需要很長...很長的一段時間才能恢復正常生活。

And, um.

而且，嗯。

If you commit suicide, people will miss you a lot.

如果你自殺了...大家會想你的。

Dammit, I don't wanna cry 'cause if I cry, I'm not gonna want to put this up.

可惡，我本來不想哭的，因為如果我哭的話，我就不想上傳這支影片。

But it's a message I want to get out there.

但這是我想向大家傳達的訊息。

Um...

嗯...

Okay, so I'm sorry in advance if I cry, I hate editing things where you cry, cause you're just watching yourself cry and it's awkward, and then you have to actively export that, which takes like ten minutes.

好吧，我很抱歉如果我哭了，我很討厭剪輯哭泣的片段，因為你就只是尷尬地在看自己哭，這之後你又要花大概十分鐘來輸出影片。

And then I have to upload it to the Internet, which takes a while, so there's a whole process going involved in showing the world that I have cried at this moment that you're watching.

然後又要花時間上傳到網路上，這就是你向觀眾展示你當下在哭泣的所有過程。

If you commit suicide, your brother, your sister, your mother, your friend, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your child ...

如果你自殺了...你的兄弟姐妹、你的母親、你的朋友、你的另一半、你的小孩...

All those people... who really, really love you will be really fucking confused for the rest of their lives.

那些非常愛你的人，餘生都會十分困惑為什麼你要這麼做。

And really angry and ... really jealous.

而且非常生氣...跟嫉妒。

I'm jealous of everyone who has a sister.

我很嫉妒那些擁有姊姊的人。

You know?

你知道嗎？

It's been like six years since she died.

她去世已經 6 年了。

And it's still really hard to talk about.

但我還是很難去談論這件事。

I mean, in uh, just a real way, like cause I can say a sentence here or there in a video.

我是說真心地談論，不然我也可以邊唸句子邊錄影片。

And it feels good to talk about it, especially when I'm trying to put a message there.

談論這件事讓我感覺好多了，尤其是當我試著要傳達某些訊息的時候。

But like, I mean, at the end of the day, you know, there's someone who's supposed to be in your life right now.

但是，在這天結束時，你知道有個人現在應該要存在於你的生命中。

And they're not.

但他們卻不在了。

And they never will be, again, probably. No, actually, most definitely. Because we all die.

而且永遠都不會。大概。不對，事實上是絕對，因為我們終將死去。

But...Augh!

但...啊！

It just forces you to ask yourself a lot of questions you're never gonna get the answer to, so it just feels like a lot of f**king unnecessary pain!

它只會迫使你問自己很多問題，而你永遠無法得到答案，所以感覺就像是在他 X 的承受一堆不必要的痛苦！

And like, brooding and agonizing.

揮之不去又折磨人。

And it, it feels so shitty, just so shitty and unfair, and then you'll wrestle with these same emotions over and over again every time you think about it.

當你去想它的時候，你會感覺非常差，認為這不公平，而你就要一而再再而三地努力處理這些反覆出現的情緒。

So you try not to think about it, but then if you don't think about it, you can't work your way through it, but working your way through it fucking sucks cause there's just so much of it everywhere.

所以你盡可能不去想它，但如果你不想它，你就無法克服這個傷痛，但當你開始去克服它，事情就會變得很糟，因為它無所不在。

Everywhere you turn, it's there!

無所不在，就在那！

It influences who you are, it's like a before and an after this event that you did I am a different person, and I don't know if it's for the better or for the worse, but I f**king hate you and I f**king love you and, just don't do it.

這會影響你整個人，而這就像是你還沒做出這樣的事情的前後比對，我現在是不同的人了，而且我不知道這樣會更好或更壞，但是我他 X 的太恨你也太愛你了，拜託不要這樣！

Just don't do it!

拜託不要！

So stupid.

太愚蠢了。

Death is stupid.

死亡是愚蠢的。

I don't like it.

我不喜歡。

But yeah. I think that's, that's pretty much what will happen after you kill yourself.

但對啊，這大概就是自殺之後會發生的事情吧。

For a long, long time after that decision.

在那個決定之後過了好久一段時間。

And if you hadn't made that decision, then it's like, how many extra years you would have had for things to change, you know?

而且如果你沒有做出這個決定，這就像，還有多少年你會有事情改變，你知道嗎？

Stay awesome, Gotham.

繼續堅強吧，Gotham。