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When we're in a relationship,
當我們處於一段感情中的時候
one of the haunting thoughts that can make us especially snappy and bitter
有種想法會一直迴盪在腦海,讓我們易怒及感到苦澀
is the idea that if only we were single, we would be a lot happier.
這想法就是:如果我們單身的話我們應該更開心吧
We can be so conscious of the troubles of our own lives,
我們深深意識到自己目前生活中的各種麻煩
that we're naturally drawn to look back and remember the nicer aspects of solitude.
我們自然而然地會回想過去,想起單身時各種美好的畫面
We remember being able to get up whenever we wanted;
單身時我們可以想什麼時候起床就什麼時候起床
we recall not having to fret about where we threw things.
我們也不會因為亂扔東西而煩惱
We remember how inoffensive our own bad habits were,
我們完全接受自己的壞習慣,不會覺得那是一種冒犯
when we were the only ones to witness them.
當只有我們自己知道這些習慣的時候
We recall not having to justify our meal choices, however eccentric;
我們不需要刻意調整我們的飲食,不管我們的飲食有多奇怪
we could go out somewhere and never tell anyone;
我們可以隨時外出而不用告訴任何人
we could (when we felt like it)
(當我們願意的時候)我們也可以
work through till 2 a.m. without being accused of being obsessive or cold.
工作到凌晨兩點,也不會被人指責說是過度工作或者是冷漠
Though we were sometimes sad, we could at least always hope for a better future.
儘管我們有時候會沮喪,我們都還一直憧憬著美好的未來
It was all so fulfilling, in comparison with the life we lead now.
和我們現在這樣的生活對比,以前的生活同時讓我們覺得十分充實
But memory is a hugely unreliable and therefore, reckless instrument,
但是,回憶是十分不可靠的,因此也是無法預計後果的
which isn't a small point,
並不是微不足道的
for our powers of recall have a huge impact on how we assess our lives in the present.
因為「回憶」對我們如何評估自己現在的生活產生了巨大的影響
We are editors of genius,
我們是有天賦的編輯
who know just enough about how to romanticise our single days
我們知道如何浪漫化我們單身的日子
in order to poison our conjugal ones.
為了使有伴的日子聽起來更糟糕
Some of our ingratitude might be eroded.
我們可能會開始心懷感恩
if long before we met anyone,
假設,在我們遇上另一半的很長一段時間之前
a talented film-maker were charged with making a close observational documentary
一位有天賦的電影製作人負責拍攝一部紀錄片,來近距離觀察
about our lives as single people.
我們的單身生活
They’d capture our face at 5.30pm on a winter Sunday afternoon,
他捕捉到在一個冬日週日下午五點三十時我們的面容
as the sun was setting
太陽正在隱退
and we know we’ll be alone till we reach the office on Monday morning.
並且我們也知道,直到週一早晨上班我們仍會孤獨一人
They'd observe us looking across the room at someone at a party
他觀察到我們在遠遠看著派對上的某個人
longing for their kindly face
出神地看著他們美好的臉龐
but lacking any courage to go up and address them.
但是卻沒有勇氣走上前去搭訕
They'd capture us spending a lot of time at our parents' house,
他捕捉到我們在父母家待很長時間
and growing increasingly tetchy in their company.
並且對於他們的陪伴越來越不耐煩
They’d show us struggling to know what to do when the fridge stopped working
他讓我們意識到,當冰箱壞了的時候我們有多不知所措
or we felt a terrible pain in the middle of the night.
或者是半夜的時候我們經歷了巨大的疼痛的無助
We would ideally be required to view this documentary at regular intervals,
我們被要求最好能時常觀看這部紀錄片
especially after bruising fights with our partners.
尤其是和我們的另一半發生劇烈衝突之後
It would provide crucial evidence,
它會提供十分重要的證據
which our own memories are so good at strategically omitting
來證明我們的記憶很擅長於進行戰略上的忽略
of how less than ideal the single state can be
忽略我們處於單身時不理想的回憶
We would realise that though we are sad now,
我們意識到,雖然我們現在很悲傷
we were also very sad then.
我們當時也是很悲傷的
We would accept, with good grace and a touch of dark humour,
我們會優雅地且帶著些黑色幽默地接受
that life simply gives us few opportunities to be content.
生活給了很少的機會可以讓我們感到知足