The first, broadly, is the good kind.

首先，以下是一個美好童年大概的樣子。

When you are upset, someone is on hand to soothe you.

當你沮喪時，有人安慰你。

When you're furious, someone handles you calmly.

當你憤怒時，有人冷靜地應對你。

When you need attention, someone is there for you.

當你需要關注時，有人在你身邊。

When you can't understand, someone explains.

當你遇到不理解的事情時，有人會跟你解釋。

When you're messy, someone resists shaming you.

當你一團糟時，他們絕不會羞辱你。

When you fail, you're not called a loser.

當你失敗時，他們不會說你是個失敗者。

When there's a problem, you get through it.

當你遇到難題時，你會挺過去的。

In short, you deserve to exist.

總之，你的存在是意義重大的。

Whatever the value system of the competitive world out there.

不論外面充滿競爭的世界有什麼樣的價值體系。

Inside you're of huge value, you are for as long as it takes the center of one or two kindly grown ups universe.

在你的世界裡，你有極大的價值，你是一個或兩個善良成年人世界的中心。

Then broadly there's the challenging old plain bad childhood.

接下來描述的是一個糟糕的童年通常的樣子。

When you cry, they call you spoiled.

當你哭泣時，他們說你被寵壞了。

When you're difficult, they say it's attention seeking.

當你耍小性子時，他們說你在故意尋求關注。

When you don't succeed, they take it personally.

當你沒有成功時，他們認為那是你自身的原因。

When you're messy, they're disgusted.

當你一團糟時，他們會很嫌棄你。

When you try to be strong, they're threatened.

當你想努力變強時，他們會威脅你。

When you're weak and unimpressive, they belittle you.

當你軟弱、讓人印象不好時，他們會看不起你。

In short, it's a bit of a pity you're around.

簡短地說，你的存在是遺憾的。

You don't quite deserve to exist.

你的存在沒有意義。

You're a burden

你是他們的負擔。

And in the end, really just a giant disappointment.

而到最後，你會讓他們感到非常的失望。

The first kind of childhood is just about the greatest gift anyone can receive.

第一種童年，對於擁有它的人來說是最棒的禮物。

It's at the root of the chance to form satisfying relationships, to accept one's sexuality, to have ambition without perfectionism and to approach adversity with resilience.

它可以從根本上塑造讓人滿意的人際關係、接受別人的性別、擁有野心但不吹毛求疵，並且面對逆境時能樂觀面對。

And likewise a bad sort of childhood is proper lasting trouble.

同理，一個糟糕的童年有可能是一個長久的麻煩。

It keeps undermining relationships, generates endless problems around sex, saps confidence, brings anxieties, self hatred and shame.

它會不斷地破壞你的人際關係、造成關於性別方面無休止的問題、削弱自信心、帶來焦慮、自我憎惡，且感到羞恥。

We don't yet know how completely to fix bad childhoods.

我們目前都還不知道如何能完全修復糟糕童年帶來的影響。

They're a proper pain to have had, but here are one or two things to try very hard to keep in mind.

它是你之前心頭的痛，但有幾件事必須要努力記在心上。

Do everything you can to understand the craziness inside you.

不遺餘力來理解你自己內心的瘋狂。

Be suspicious of many of your first intuitions and responses.

對你多數的直覺和第一反應保持懷疑的態度。

Watch out for weird stuff, you're gonna try to do to sabotage your chances of flourishing.

當你打算嘗試一些奇怪的事物時，要小心它可能會毀掉你的前途。

Warn people around you in a gentle and alarming way about what you've been through.

溫和地提醒你身邊的人，你曾經經歷過的事。

Invite them to feel sorry for you rather than just condemn you for being difficult.

讓他們能理解、同情你，而不是譴責你為什麼性格這麼古怪。

Try to get all the insights you can, from books, therapy and thinking.

看書、參加治療、思考來多多增加自己的見識。

Accept that this is a legacy you're a gonna be carrying around with you all your life.

接受這個糟糕童年會一直伴隨你一生的事實。

Feel without self pity but a little bit sorry for yourself.

為自己感到一絲遺憾就好，別自憐。