Today I'm visiting my parents out here in the state of Texas.

今天我來德州拜訪我爸媽

And fuck it is hot here.

這裡真他X的熱

And if you couldn't tell from the title of this video, I'm introducing you to my mom.

如果你不懂影片標題要表達的意思 我先向你們介紹我媽

Woah! How did you do that mom where did you come from? You know mom, until yesterday,

哇嗚!媽你怎麼做到的?從哪裡蹦出來的啊?(尷尬) 你知道的，到昨天為止

I hadn't seen you in 7 months. And I also haven't drove in 7 months, so this could be fun.

我整整7個月沒見到你。 而且我也7個月沒開車了，應該會發生很有趣的事

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

先大概介紹一下你自己吧

"I'm Motoki's mom, my son Motoki is-"

"我是Motoki的媽媽，我的兒子Motoki是個..."

Alright cool!

非常好 到這裡!

So mom I got some questions for you, I'm just going to ask them, you can answer them however

所以媽，我要問你幾個問題 我隨便出幾個題目，你可以選擇要不要回答

you want. So if you had to pick something that you most like about me, what would you

假如我叫你選最喜歡我的一點? 你會選甚麼?

choose? I know there's a lot to choose from, but if you had to.

我知道有很多選擇 ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ， 你可以盡量說沒關係。

"He's very kind person, he likes to take care of someone."

"他是個很善良的人，又很喜歡照顧別人"

Oh, stop!

哦~少來了~ ( ´థ皿థ）

What do you least like about me? Wait, don't answer that.

那你最不喜歡我哪裡? 等一下，不要真的回答

Do you ever stop to think about how weird it is that I came out of your body?

你有沒有想過我曾經從你體內竄出來是多奇怪的一件事? (´･ω･`)

No, I gotta catch some Pokemon mom, there's a freaking Snorlax.

不，我得收服這些寶可夢 那裏有隻活生生的卡比獸!

So tell me mom have you ever done drugs before? Don't even act like we didn't do coke together.

老實告訴我，媽你以前有吸毒過嗎? 別一副很像我們沒一起吸過古柯鹼 "蛤?!∑(￣□￣;)"

Alright we're stopping to get some juice. Mm, mm, yum! Back on the road!

好，我們要停下去買些果汁 "恩~好喝" 繼續上路~

Mom are you slim thick?

媽媽你前凸後翹(slim thick)嗎?

"Slim slick?" No, slim thick.

“前禿後笑(slim slick)？" 不，前凸後翹(slim thick)

Do you know how to dab? "Dab?" Dab. "No."

你知道怎麼Dab嗎?(一個頭觸手肘的動作) "Dab? 不知道"

So you just go *dabs*.

就是＊喔！＊這樣 (´⊙ω⊙`)

Take the wheel mom!

媽，接手方向盤! Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ)

What's your favorite memory of me? All time favorite memory of me.

你最喜歡關於我的甚麼回憶? 從以前到現在

"Ah there is so many." Oh really? I mean whatever, yeah.

"啊~有很多耶 “ 哦，真的嗎？我是說 隨便啦( ^ω^)

I'm a superb driver.

我開車技術超屌 ಠ౪ಠ

"No no no no." I lied.

"開錯了開錯了" 我收回前面的話

This camera will not stop moving.

這個相機怎麼一直在動

"Welcome to Mcdonalds how can I help you?" What's up? Can I get ah..

歡迎光臨麥當勞，請問要點甚麼? “你好阿兄弟，恩..我要..." (๑*_*๑)

"You need to pay here right?" It says second window, let me live my life mom.

“你應該要在剛剛那裡付錢吧 ” 指標寫著下一個窗口，讓我主導我的人生吧媽

Thank you.

謝謝

So out of the three kids, who's your favorite?

你三個孩子當中，最愛誰?

Me obviously.

很明顯是我!!σ`∀´)σ

Alright mom we gotta do a little freestyle okay? Freestyle rap, you ready?

好，媽，我們來一段即興表演好嗎 即興饒舌好了，準備好了嗎

Okay, alright, here we go.

好很好，開始囉

Hey what's up my name is Motoki, uh-huh yeah that's me, we driving fast, turn the key.

*安安你好我是MOTOKI* *沒錯就是我* *我們發動引擎 全速前進*

Got my mom on my right and my left turn, blink, blink, blink, flash the lights.

*右邊是我母親* *打開車頭燈* *閃閃瞎你的眼睛*

Hit it mom! Go, you gotta go!

該你了媽 ! 上吧 ! 你得接下去 !

Mom I think we need to go to the fire station right now that was too fire.

媽我想我們得去消防站滅火 剛才的rap讓我整個燃燒起來了

What's something that you would've done differently like when I was living with you as a kid.

當我小時候跟你住在一起時 你想做卻沒做的事是甚麼

"Maybe I should have given you more chores."

“也許我應該給你更多的家務。 ”

Speed bump.

減速壟

Red light, patty cake!

紅燈了，小餡餅(patty cake)！

Not even looking.

沒有看也可以ლ（╹ε╹ლ）

Mom I gotta beatbox, you have to join in okay?

媽我要來一段口技 你得加入好嗎？

"Ah look at tha-" AH JESUS!

"阿阿你看那個-" 阿阿我的天(☉д⊙) (好想知道是甚麼)

Were you hungry mo-chan?

mo醬你餓了嗎? (お腹空いてたの？moちゃん）

Yo that dude honked at me, I'm livid. Let's get him mom, let's go beat him, slash his tires.

喲那傢伙竟然敢按我喇叭 我生氣惹(#`Д´)ﾉ 媽我們去打爆他，刺破他的輪胎

Mom you want me to have kids one day? "..Maybe."

媽，你希望我有孩子嗎? “..也許。”

What if I already have two kids that I forgot to tell you about?

如果我已經有兩個孩子了，而忘了告訴你？

"Here you go!"

“來！"

Mom what's your ideal girlfriend for me?

你希望我有個怎麼樣的女朋友?

Like I'm thinking Kate Upton, Jessica Alba. "Who's that?"

我在想應該是凱特·阿普頓或潔西卡·艾芭 “那是誰？”

Yeah we're back home! I actually

耶我們到家了！

have a script written for us here that I want you to play the role of Helen. I'll be playing

其實我有準備一個為我們寫的劇本 你演海倫(媽媽)

the role of James. Ready?

我演詹姆士(小孩) 準備好了嗎

Mom, I need to tell you something! "What do you want?"

媽媽，跟你說個好消息！ “怎樣？"

I got an A- in my English class, are you proud of me?

我的英文成績A- 你以我為榮嗎？

"That's great honey, but if you think an A- is good, you've got to be kidding me."

"親愛的 真不錯 但如果你認為A-就很好了，你一定是在跟我開玩笑。“

It's pretty fun.

我覺得蠻有趣的

Did you have fun today? "Yeah."

你今天玩得開心嗎？ “開心啊。 ”

Yeah? Good, you better have.

是嗎？ 很好，你是應該要感到開心(´σ-`)

If you guys enjoyed this video, please give me a thumbs up to let me

如果你們喜歡這部影片，請幫我按個讚讓我知道

know, comment if you want, subscribe if you're not already. Thank you guys so much for watching,

想要的話可以留個言，趕緊訂閱我的頻道 非常感謝大家的收看

I'll see you guys next, Motoki Monday.

我們下一個影片見!!(Motoki Monday)