- Why are you guys so obsessed with Ranch dressing?

你們為什麼對沙拉醬那麼著迷？ （Ranch 是沙拉醬品牌）

- Why is it on everything?

為什麼所有東西都要沾？

- Pizza does not need to be dripped in Ranch.

披薩不需要沾沙拉醬

- Why is it called Ranch?

它為什麼叫"Ranch"？

- No American has been able to tell me

沒有一個美國人有辦法告訴我

exactly what is in ranch dressing.

到底 Ranch 沙拉醬裡有什麼

- Is it from the ranch?

它是牧場來的嗎？

Does it contain flavors that you would

它的味道會讓你

assimilate with a ranch?

聯想到牧場嗎？

Why does all of your money look exactly the same?

為什麼你們的錢看起來都一樣？

- Change it up a little, add some color, a little flair.

改變一下吧，加一些顏色，一些味道

- It's like a big joke to fool people when they're drunk

錢長得一樣就是像在對喝醉酒的人開玩笑

into tipping more than they should.

騙他們給更多小費

- Who came up with a one cent coin? Why?

誰發明一分錢硬幣的？為什麼？

- We got rid of them a million years ago.

我們一百萬年前就不用它們了

I don't even remember one cent and two cent coins.

我甚至不記得一分錢和兩分錢硬幣

- How much did it cost to make?

做這個要多少錢？

It couldn't have cost one cent. You're losing money.

不可能要一分錢吧，這樣你賠錢

- You guys don't even like pennies.

你們根本不喜歡硬幣

They drop 'em, they're everywhere.

他們都隨便亂丟，地上到處都是

- You gotta tell me, why is your cheese orange?

你們必須告訴我，你們的起司為什麼是橘色的？

- Why is your cheese orange?

你們的起司為什麼是橘色的？

- Seriously, my mom stared at the cheese for like a week.

真的，我媽盯著那塊起司大概一星期

And was like, nah, I don't understand.

然後她就，吶，我不懂

- And why is it in a can.

而且為什麼它要放在罐子裡？

- And I tried cheese in a can.

我試過罐裝起司

It's disgusting.

很噁心

It tastes like cheese in a can!

它吃起來像放在罐子裡的起司！

- Cheese doesn't belong in a can.

起司不該在罐子裡

Cream, I get. Cheese, no.

奶油，我懂；起司，不懂

- Why are your drinks so bloody big?

你們的酒為什麼份量都那麼誇張的大？

- But yet not a car with a cup holder big enough for it.

但是沒有一輛車的杯架夠大放得下

- Your sizes that you serve in America

你們在美國的份量

are actually illegal in Australia.

在澳洲其實是違法的

- Australians do not drink Foster's.

澳洲人不喝福斯特

- Why do you all think that we drink Foster's?

你們怎麼都覺得我們喝福斯特？

- Don't believe the advertising, people.

大家，別相信廣告

We don't all drink Foster's.

我們不是全都喝福斯特

- We got bloody VB, mate, we got XXXX.

我們有他X的VB，老兄，我們有XXXX（讀 four x）

They're Australian beers.

它們是澳洲啤酒

- Why don't you just add sales tax to the price tag?

你們為什麼不直接把銷售稅標在價錢標籤上？

- Why don't you just add the sales tax to the price tag?

你們為什麼不直接把銷售稅標在價錢標籤上？

- Like everybody else.

就像大家一樣

- It's so frustrating.

真的讓人很挫折耶

- In Australia we have a Goods and Services Tax,

在澳洲我們有貨物服務稅

and it's all included.

都包含在價錢裡了

It says $10, it's $10.

它標 10 元就是 10 元

- Don't tell me that it's $12.45.

別告訴我這要 12.45 元

I don't wanna know that, I wanna know the real price.

我不想知道那個，我想知道實際價格

- Your non-metric system, whatever you use--

你們的非公制單位，不管你們用的是甚麼...

- I do not understand why you guys do not

我不懂你們為什麼不要

convert to the metric system.

改用公制單位

- If you want to make math easier, go metric.

如果你們想讓數學變簡單，用公制

- It's so sweet.

多美好啊！

Ten! Everything's tens.

十！所有東西都是十進位

- And zero is freezing, 'cause that makes sense.

0 度是冰點，這樣很合理

- One meter is a hundred centimeters.

1 公尺是 100 公分

One mile is like, ah, that many feet,

1 哩大概是，呃，這麼多呎

just keep going, keep going.

繼續走、繼續走

Yeah, that'll do.

對，差不多就是那樣

- What's with your gun laws?

你們的槍枝法規怎麼了？

I'm neither against it nor for it.

我既不贊同也不反對

I just, I guess I'm just a little confused by it.

我只是，我猜我只是有點被它搞糊塗了

- It's crazy easy to buy a gun.

買槍超容易的

I went to the Midwest and I went to Walmart,

我去中西部和沃爾瑪

and they just sell them there.

那裡的人就在那賣槍

- I was in Mississippi and

我當時在密西西比

my friend bought an AK-47 on a whim.

我朋友一時興起買了把 AK-47

That was weird.

超奇怪的

- When that amendment was written,

當修正案定案後

no one had weapons that could dispense, like,

沒人的武器可以發射，比如說，

200 bullets a second.

每秒 200 顆子彈

They were muskets that took like ten minutes to load.

步槍大概要花十分鐘裝子彈

- What's going on with your gun laws?

你們的槍枝法規出了什麼事？

They're nuts. Babies can have guns.

真是瘋了，嬰兒也能有槍

- Why do your pharmacies sell beer?

你們的藥局為什麼賣啤酒？

- Next to the condoms and the tampons, there's beer.

在保險套和棉條旁邊，就放著酒

- Why do pharmacies sell beer?

藥局裡為什麼賣酒？

Why the hell not?

為什麼不賣啊？

I think it's fantastic.

我覺得超讚的

I love this country!

我愛這個國家！