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  • -Brains. Brains-- -Shut up!

  • We're reporting live on how an Emo-haired loser and bowl-haired reject...

  • ..managed to get so many views on their stupid videos,

  • -right here in this-- -(zombie yells)

  • (reporter screams)

  • (more shrieking)

  • Man, I wanted to make fun of of those stupid-haired losers.

  • (bell rings)

  • No, we don't want any more Boy Scout crackers, okay?

  • (zombies growl)

  • (both scream)

  • Great Zeus' butt hole! What do we do, man?!

  • Uh...oh!

  • Alrighty, um. Chapter one on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

  • (groans) TLDR, dude. I'm bored!

  • Where's the pictures? Get to the pictures.

  • Uh...there are none!

  • What? A book without pictures?!

  • What kind of frickin' book is that?!

  • (zombie growls)

  • Uh, yeah! Give us a second, god!

  • Some people have no frickin' patience.

  • Okay, so we just need to think.

  • What did they do in The Walking Dead?

  • Uh...let's see. They sat around a barn for an entire season,

  • searching for a completely random, useless character?

  • Oh my god. That was so annoying, right?!

  • I mean, if I hear, "Sophia! Sophia!" one more time,

  • I'm going to use this on myself.

  • What the hell, man?! You've had this gun the whole time?

  • Oh, yeah. I took this from Stevie's zombie survival kit.

  • He's probably totally dead now.

  • It's okay. It's okay.

  • I got gun in my trusty zombie survival kit!

  • Oh crap!

  • (Stevie screams)

  • Give me that!

  • (zombies growl)

  • Hey, zombies! Don't lose your "heads".

  • (repetitive gun shots)

  • -(zombies growl angrily) -(Anthony screams)

  • Dude, you didn't hit a single one!

  • It's a lot harder than they make it look in The Walking Dead.

  • Give me that! I think it's time we got...

  • "ahead" of this problem.

  • (repetitive gun shots)

  • Dude, you didn't hit any of them either.

  • No, no, no, look!

  • I got that guy's pointer finger!

  • Yeah, but you didn't kill any of them.

  • Okay, I think you're missing "the point".

  • (both chuckle) -No, no, no.

  • (repetitive pounding on door)

  • Oh! Dude, we could just use the car! Duh!

  • (zombies yell)

  • Dude, were they doing our laundry in there?!

  • Hey! You better not be using my fabric softeners!

  • I only have, like, five left!

  • You stupid zombies!

  • Do you have any ideas of your own?!

  • Okay, man. This is officially the stupidest idea you've ever had.

  • Oh, really? Stupidest idea?

  • More like the best frickin' idea that's ever been invented by humankind!

  • -Oh! Yeah! -(together) Yeah!

  • (together) Suck it!

  • (laughter)

  • -Wait...dude. One's getting through. -They're...learning!

  • Quick, give me another treadmill!

  • Uh, okay. Yeah, sure.

  • Let me just go down to the basement and get one of my emergency treadmills!

  • -You have that?! -F*ck, no!

  • We don't even have a basement, idiot!

  • (both scream)

  • What are we going to do, man?!

  • I've done everything I can think of!

  • Get a hold of yourself!

  • Maybe we're just misunderstanding the zombies.

  • I mean, yeah, their main goal is to eat our brains,

  • but at least they have dreams they're working to achieve.

  • Unlike me and my dream of touching Jessica Alba's left boob.

  • Why are you acting so weird?

  • What do you mean?

  • I'm being a completely normal human being.

  • (gasp) Human being!

  • That word kind of sounds like bean.

  • Beans are legumes.

  • Legumes has the word "leg" in it.

  • Ian's mom has really nice legs.

  • And Ian's mom is so old she's practically dead.

  • Which can only mean one thing:

  • Oh my Bieber!

  • You're becoming a zombie!

  • Aw, and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!

  • What kids? There's no kids here.

  • I dunno. I just thought that was what they always said.

  • Wait...when did you become infected?

  • Well...do you remember that one time way, way, way back when, five minutes ago?

  • (Anthony sobs)

  • What?! I got hungry!

  • Sorry, man, but looks like I'm going to have to "Old Yeller" your ass.

  • Wait. You've had that the whole time?!

  • Yeah, why? I stole it from Stevie's back-up survival zombie kit.

  • (Stevie yells) Good thing I've got my back-up zombie survival kit!

  • Seriously?! (screams)

  • Sorry, man.

  • Wait, wait!

  • Think about this.

  • We could be best friends...forever.

  • What the hell are you talking about--oh!

  • (together) Yeah!

  • F*ck off, Stevie! You're ruining our epic high-5.

  • Yeah!

  • This is a zombie speaking.

  • To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers...

  • They're probably totally eating his ass now.

  • Eating his ass. No. (everyone laughs)

  • Click the video right here.

  • One, two, three. (clap)

  • Five, six, seven. (clap)

  • -Brains. -Brains.

  • -I want brains! -I want Jessica Alba's left boob!

  • I mean, what?

-Brains. Brains-- -Shut up!

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B2 中高級 美國腔

SMOSH VS ZOMBIES (SMOSH VS ZOMBIES)

  • 165 11
    Gian Xian Lee 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字