Sh*t! Have I ever washed this?

天！我真的有洗過這個嗎？

Secret Thoughts Women Have

女生的秘密想法

Is that my period?

是我的月經來了嗎？

Oh, God! Am I bleeding through my pants?

天啊！我的血流到褲子上了嗎？

Do I smell?

我是不是聞起來臭臭的？

Oh, no, I was wearing this bra last time we hooked up too.

不，上次我們約出來的時候，我也是穿這件內衣

Now he's gonna think I only own one bra.

現在他大概覺得我就只有這件內衣吧

He thinks I'm disgusting.

他一定覺得我很噁心

Time to poop.

解放的時間到了

Of f*cking corpse!

*你娘

Oh my... What? Do you two live here?

我的...什麼？難不成你們兩個住在這裡嗎？

Can't you hang out outside of the bathroom?

難道不能去廁所外面聊嗎？

Damn! I thought I had a hair tie.

該死！我以為我還有個髮圈

I wonder what happened to all the hair ties I bought?

到底我買的髮圈都去哪裡了？

How on earth do I shed this much and still have hair?

到底為什麼我掉了這麼多頭髮之後，竟然還可以有頭髮？

Oh God! I just made direct eye contact with his penis!

天啊！我剛剛竟然直視了他的雞雞

I wonder what it would be like to have a penis.

如果我也有雞雞，不知道是什麼感覺

Is one of my boobs bigger than the other?

我的胸部兩邊大小不一樣嗎？

Oh, yea, definitely is.

噢，絕對是的

Oh my god, did I just pee a little or is that my period?

噢老天！我剛剛是漏尿，還是生理期來了？

Or did I just get wet?

還是，我只是溼了？

Am I secretly turned on?

難道，我不小心興奮起來了？

This bitch thinks I don't know what she said about me three weeks ago.

這個賤人以為我不知道她三個禮拜前說我什麼。

Has he noticed my mustache?

他注意到我的鬍子了嗎？

Or maybe he is looking at that one extra long piece of hair on my chin.

或他在看我下巴上那根比較長的毛？

Ooh! maybe I'll wear a dress today.

嗯...或許我今天會穿裙子吧

Ugh. Pants it is.

噁，算了，穿褲子就穿褲子

Damn, I should have washed my hair today.

該死，我今天應該洗頭的。

Sh*t! Do my armpits smell?

該死！我的腋下臭臭的嗎？

Did I shave my armpits?

我有刮腋毛嗎？

Am I pregnant?

難道我懷孕了？

Wait, I haven't had sex in two months, that's not possible.

等等，我這兩個月都沒有性行為，這不可能。

Unless, I am the next immaculate conception.

除非，我跟聖母瑪麗亞一樣，沒經過性行為就懷孕了。

Oh my god, no one would even believe me.

我的天，根本沒人會相信我啊