pollution solutions that will blow your mind,

讓你嚇一跳的汙染解方

part 2!

第二彈！

Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,

歡迎收看《中國解密》

I’m your host Chris Chappell.

我是主持人 Chris Chappell

China has declared war on pollution.

中國正式向污染宣戰

The Chinese regime is pumping $277 billion dollars

中國政府注入 2770 億美元的預算

into coming up with solutions for the smog problem.

為了想出解決霧霾的方案

Along with, you know,

注入這筆資金的同時

all the coal they’re pumping into the atmosphere.

也將燃煤的廢氣一起灑到空氣中

And there are some crazy ideas

他們想出了一些瘋狂的點子

about how to solve China’s smog problem.

要來解決中國的霧霾問題

So many that I had to make a second list.

點子多到我要做列第二張清單

So if banning barbecues a

如果禁止烤肉

nd attaching sprinklers to the tops of skyscrapers

和在大樓樓頂裝上灑水器

seemed like insane solutions,

看起來像是愚蠢的點子

wait till you see these next 10.

你要來看看這十個解方！

Number 10

第十名

Canned Air

罐裝空氣

Sometimes, life imitates art.

有時候，人生模仿藝術

Spaceballs is art, right?

《星際歪傳》算是藝術吧？

Well, as far out as that sounds,

雖然聽起來很扯

one crazy Chinese millionaire actually did it.

但有個瘋狂的中國億萬富翁確實這麼做了

The same guy who tried to buy the New York Times.

就是那個試著買下紐約時報的傢伙

And lied to a room full of homeless people.

而且還騙了整屋子的遊民

And sang karaoke to a room of journalists.

甚至對著整屋子的記者唱卡拉 OK

Ugh, who’s going to solve that noise pollution?

天啊，誰要來解決這個噪音污染啊？

Number 9

第九名

Ventilation Corridors

通風廊道

Beijing sure has some tall buildings that can block airflow

北京真的有許多阻擋空氣流動的高樓

and let smog linger.

導致霧霾繚繞

And so somehow,

所以，中國當局要用某種方法

in an already-built city,

在一個已經建造完成的城市裡

the Chinese regime plans to create ventilation corridors

再打造通風廊道

to blow the smog out.

來吹散霧霾？

There will be five large corridors,

屆時將會有五條通風廊道

each over 1600 feet wide.

每條寬度都會超過 485 公尺

Wondering how they’re going to do that?

想知道他們會怎麼建造嗎？

Me too!

我也是！

Fortunately, they’ve given no time frame for the project.

幸運的是，他們沒有針對 這個專案提出具體完工時間

I wonder how the smog and hot air will mix?

真想知道霧霾遇上熱空氣會如何反應？

Number 8

第八名

Blame green technology

怪罪綠能科技

How dare you,

你這外國人

a foreigner,

怎麼敢

criticize China for its pollution.

批評中國的污染

Because as the director of the

這是安徽省

Anhui Provincial Environmental Protection Authority, said

某官員說的：

“China is a big exporter

「中國是個大型出口國

and many foreigners have been benefiting

許多外國人因此受惠於

from China’s green products.

中國的綠能產品

However, the pollution incurred during the production process

然而，這些產品製造過程中的污染

are left in China.”

卻留在中國。」

If China weren’t making so much green technology,

如果中國沒有生產 這麼多綠能產品的話

there would be no pollution!

也就不會有這麼多污染了！

Other than what comes from burning almost as much coal

除了因燃燒接近世界總燃煤量一半的煤炭

as the rest of the world combined.

而產生的汙染

Gotta love the ideas Chinese officials come up with.

真佩服中國官員想出的點子的！

Like Party official from Yunnan who suggested

像是雲南官員建議

China should punish this insult by foreign countries

中國應該懲罰讓中國 製造這些污染的國家

by using “dams to store water so that it won’t all flow

「使用大壩來儲水，讓水不會流向

to other countries and be wasted.”

其他國家而被浪費了」

Number 7

第七名

Toss it into your neighbor’s yard

把垃圾扔到鄰居後院

If burning tons of coal in Beijing

如果在北京燒炭

is causing all this smog,

是造成霧霾的原因

the solution is simple—burn less coal...

那麼解決方案很簡單 就是在北京…

in Beijing.

少燒一點炭

That’s where coal by wire comes in.

這就是「燃煤電網」(coal by wire) 的用處！

It means “turning coal into electricity

燃煤電網會「直接將煤炭在產煤的礦場

and transmitting it directly from the mine

轉換為電能

where it is produced,

取代以往

instead of transporting it to power stations

將煤礦運到發電廠

and then to consumption centers.”

再經由發電廠配電的模式」

In other words,

換句話說

build your water-guzzling,

在偏僻的地方

disgusting coal plants in faraway places like Inner Mongolia

蓋座耗水、噁心的煤炭發電廠

and Xinjiang

像是內蒙古和新疆

where people are poor and there’s hardly any water.

那些地方人們很窮，而且用水量很少

And then send the energy over thousands of miles to the major cities.

再從那邊輸送電力到 幾千哩以外的大城市

It’s worked so well, that

這方式很管用

“there has been a 23 per cent improvement

「北京、天津、河北地區

in the Beijing-Tianjin-Hebei area.”

的汙染因此減少了 23%」

And Xinjiang,

而新疆

where the Uighur minorities live,

維吾爾少數民族的家園

is now home to “six of the ten most polluted cities in China.”

現在擁有「中國十座污染 最嚴重城市的其中六個」

Number 6

第六名

Cloud Seeding

人造雨

Simply wash away your pollution.

只要把污染洗乾淨就好了

“It has become a tradition in Beijing

「在北京，於國定假期前

to seed the clouds before public holidays...

來場人造雨沖洗汙染

to make rain,

確保放假時藍天白雲

disperse pollution and ensure clear skies on the day.”

已經成了慣例」

It’s one of the tricks they used for the Olympics!

這是他們在北京奧運會時的伎倆之一！

Silver Iodide is shot into the sky,

碘化銀催化劑會被射向天空

and it helps creates ice crystals.

用來催化出冰晶

Those melt and the pollution comes down with the rain.

冰晶融化時會降下夾雜污染物的雨滴

Worried what liquified pollution might do to you?

擔心液態污染會怎麼影響你嗎？

I’d worry more about the silver iodide.

我還比較擔心那碘化銀呢

It’s toxic.

那是有毒的

Number 5

第五名

Give up

放棄吧！

That’s right, give up.

對啦！放棄吧

The pollution is here to stay.

污染將與你常伴

But, when trouble comes along,

但是，當麻煩來臨時

why not take a cue from the wily ostrich.

為何不跟睿智的鴕鳥學習呢？

Only instead of burying your head in the sand,

只是不要將頭埋進沙子裡

wrap it in a bubble!

改躲進泡泡裡！

Then the pollution can’t get to you.

這樣一來污染就不會找上你啦！

China is considering biodomes.

中國在考慮使用生態巨蛋 (Biodome)

What I like best about this idea

我最喜歡這點子的地方是

is it will be absurdly expensive.

所需金額非常高昂

So the rich will get to breath clean biodome air,

如此一來，富人就能呼吸到 乾淨的生態圈空氣

while the rest of us can enjoy being out in the pollution.

其他的人則能享受呼吸自然的污染源

And yes,

沒錯

this is how bad China’s pollution has gotten.

現在中國的污染已經到了如此嚴重的程度了

China’s elite are seriously considering living in bubbles,

中國的精英們正認真地考慮要住進泡泡裡

even at the risk of living out that terrible Pauly Shore movie.

即使甘願過著如波利·修 (Pauly Shore) 拍的那部爛片中一樣的生活

Number 4

第四名

Allow me to break the ice

請容許我破冰

What if you could treat pollution particles like this?

如果我們能這樣處理污染你會怎麼做？

Simply fill the skies with liquid nitrogen,

只要把在天空中灑滿液氮

freeze the pollution,

讓污染結冰

and let gravity do the rest.

並讓地心引力處理剩下的事

Because what could go wrong

因為

with spraying industrial coolants into the air?

對著空氣噴撒工業冷卻劑會出什麼差錯呢？

And don’t worry,

而且別擔心

creating a rain of pollutants is perfectly safe.

製造污染雨是絕對安全的

Probably.

也許吧！

Maybe.

或許吧！

Ok, there’s nothing to back that up.

好吧，目前沒有證據可以佐證這個說法

Number 3

第三名

Red Alert

紅色警報

When China issued two pollution red alerts just a week apart

當中國在一週內發出兩次污染紅色警報時

they knew something had to be done.

他們就知道必須要做點什麼了

So they raised the threshold for red alerts.

所以他們提高了紅色警報的門檻

And there hasn’t been one since.

自此之後，就沒有再發布任何紅色警報了

Number 2

第二名

Floating Jellyfish

漂浮水母

Check out this idea.

看看這個點子！

Oh, sorry, that’s the Matrix.

喔抱歉，這是電影《駭客任務》

I should have known.

我應該要知道的

This is the idea

這才是他們的點子

Giant, hydrogen filled jellyfish floating in the skies.

灌滿氫氣，漂浮於空中的巨大水母

Because floating sacs of hydrogen always work so well.

因為在空中漂浮的氫氣囊從未出過差錯

In this actual plan submitted

在這個為了比賽而

as part of a competition,

實際提交的方案中

pollution would be absorbed through the

水母的頭將會

head of the jellyfish,

吸收汙染物

sent down to the plant tubes,

並將汙染物質輸送到處理廠管道

and turned into drinkable water.

然後轉變成飲用水

Huh,

蛤！

I wonder if they ever thought of maybe...

不知道他們是否曾想過…

not burning so much coal as a solution.

不燒這麼多煤炭 也可以是個解決方案

I’m just throwing that out there.

我只是腦力激盪

I’m no scientist.

我又不是科學家

But maybe that would make more sense

但或許這比製造巨型漂浮水母

than giant floating jellyfish!

來得合理的多！

Maybe that’s number 1?

或許這會是第一名？

Number 1

第一名

Change the face of the planet

愚公移山

Oh are you serious?!

天啊！你是認真的嗎？

I kid you not,

我不是開玩笑的

they have tried leveling mountains to clear out pollution.

他們曾嘗試過移平山丘來解決污染問題

They got about halfway before they gave up.

他們做了一半後終於放棄

And it made no difference in air quality.

而且空氣品質「完全沒有」改變

That was in 1997.

那是 1997 年的事

And they’re still trying it.

而到現在他們還在嘗試

But have they done anything to actually cut back on coal?

但他們做過任何節約煤炭的嘗試嗎？

Well...

嗯…

they released statistics that show coal consumption is dropping.

他們確實有釋出煤炭消耗量減少的數據

But can we trust that?

但我們能相信嗎？

Well, last year, it was discovered that China had been

去年有人發現中國

“under-reporting its consumption for years,

「多年來低報年度煤炭消耗量

after a different set of statistics were revised,

在他們修正數據的計算方式後發現

with the figure for 2012 alone going up 17%.”

光是 2012 年煤炭消耗量就增加了 17 %」

Statistics with Chinese characteristics.

這就是中國特色數據資料

And according to the World Resources Institute,

根據世界資源研究所

in 2012,

2012 年的研究

the Chinese regime planned to make 363 new coal fired plants,

中國當局計劃建造 363 座 新的煤炭火力發電廠

which “amounts to an almost 75 percent increase

如此一來「煤炭發電量

in coal-fired generating capacity.”

將提升近 75%」

Yes,

沒錯

the Chinese Communist party would rather level mountains,

中國共產黨寧願把山移平

or fill the skies with toxic chemicals

或讓天空佈滿有毒化學物質

or giant floating jellyfish

或讓巨型水母漂浮在空中

than cut back on coal power.

也不願減少煤炭能源的消耗

What do you think about that?

你對這樣的作為有什麼看法？

Leave your comments below.

請在下方留言

Thanks for watching this episode of China Uncensored.

謝謝收看本集《中國解密》

Once again I’m Chris Chappell,

我是主持人 Chris Chappell

see you next time.

下次再會