pollution solutions that will blow your mind.

讓你嚇一跳的汙染解方

Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,

歡迎收看《中國解密》

I’m your host Chris Chappell.

我是主持人 Chris Chappell

China has some of the worst pollution in the world.

世界上最嚴重的汙染有一部份在中國

According to independent research group,

根據獨立研究機構

Berkeley Earth,

伯克利地球組織

4,000 people a day die in China because of air pollution.

中國每天有四千人死於空氣汙染

That’s about 17% of all deaths.

相當於總死亡人口的 17%

Not including having your organs harvested.

不包含器官被摘除的案例

“It’s as if every man, woman and child smoked 1.5 cigarettes

「這就如同每個男人、女人和小孩

each hour."

每小時抽1.5支香煙一樣」

Doesn’t help that China has a smoking problem either.

而中國的菸害問題只是雪上加霜

But the worst kind of pollution is this:

但這才是最糟的汙染：

PM 2.5 particles.

PM 2.5

Tiny little particles,

細懸浮微粒

smaller than even individual particles of pollen.

甚至比一粒花粉還小

And you thought allergies were bad.

而你還以為過敏很糟

These PM 2.5 particles are mainly coming from coal.

這些 PM 2.5 粒子主要來自於煤炭

China burns almost as much coal

中國的燃煤量

as the rest of the world combined.

幾乎等同於世界上其他國家的總和

Yeah, even more than

是的，甚至比

Uncle Nicky’s Coal emporium and Fun House.

尼克叔叔煤炭樂園商場還多

So what’s being done to solve the problem?

所以中國做了什麼來解決這個問題？

Well, there are a lot of...um, brilliant...ideas.

嗯…有很多…呃…超棒的點子

And here are 10 of my favorites.

以下是我最喜歡的十個

Number 10

第十名

Banning Stuff

下禁令

Sure, the deadly air pollution caused by unregulated factories

當然，不受規範的工廠和毫不節制的燃煤

and unrestrained coal burning is bad.

所帶來的致命空氣污染很糟

But factories and coal plants make money!

但工廠和煤礦場很賺錢！

So the government banned outdoor barbecuing instead.

所以政府只好禁止戶外烤肉

That was back in 2013.

那是 2013 年的事了

And obviously it didn’t work.

很明顯的沒有解決問題

But if at first you don’t succeed,

但假如一開始沒成功 [北京再次禁止烤肉：範圍延伸至郊區]

try, try again!

再接再厲！

Number 9

第九名

Vacuum it up!

用吸塵器吸一吸

A Dutch artist has worked with China to design this:

一位荷蘭藝術家和中國合作設計了這個：

The Smog Free Tower.

霧霾淨化塔

It’s essentially a giant vacuum that sucks in pollution

它基本上就是一個用來 吸收汙染的巨型吸塵器

and turns it into jewelry!

然後把汙染變珠寶！

Here, honey, I got you this ring made of smog

親愛的，我買了霧霾做的戒指給你

to symbolize how I feel about you.

代表著我對你的情意

Number 8

第八名

A drone will work, right?

無人機就行得通了吧？

I know what I want

在這個地球上最壓抑的其中一個社會中

in one of the most repressive societies on the planet—

我知道我會想要什麼

drones everywhere!

無人機無所不在！

Circling in the air,

在空中盤旋

spraying chemicals that will freeze pollution

撒下能讓汙染物結冰的化學物質

and allow it to fall gently to the ground.

然後讓汙染物輕輕的飄落到地上

And onto the faces of an unsuspecting populace.

還有在毫無戒備的民眾臉上

Brilliant.

超棒的

Number 7

第七名

Let’s try shutting down more things.

我們試試看禁止更多東西

Cars and factories are some of the biggest sources of pollution.

汽車和工廠是最大的汙染源之一

But getting rid of them would be way too heavy-handed.

但要禁止這些又太過嚴苛

Except when you want to look good internationally!

除非你希望在全世界 面前展現最棒的一面！

Like during the 2008 Beijing Olympics!

比如在 2008 年北京奧運期間

Or the military parade in 2015.

或是 2015 年的閱兵典禮

Or this year’s G20 Summit.

或是今年的 G20 高峰會

But once the spotlight is off,

可一旦鎂光燈暗了下來

things can get back to normal.

一切又可以回到正常

It’s like how you really only clean the house

就像你只會在有客人來時

before you have guests over.

才認真打掃家裡

Number 6

第六名

Cover it up!

通通隱埋起來！

Former CCTV anchor Chai Jing

前央視主持人柴靜

was inspired to make a documentary about pollution

她的女兒一出生便患有腫瘤

after her daughter was born with a tumor.

柴靜因而受到啟發 決定拍一部關於汙染的紀錄片

The documentary went viral.

這部紀錄片馬上爆紅

A week later,

一週後

authorities solved the problem.

當局解決了問題

No, not by cleaning up the pollution.

並不是把汙染清乾淨

By banning her documentary.

而是查禁她的紀錄片

And the 200 million Chinese citizens

至於當時已經看過紀錄片的

who had already watched it by then

兩億中國人民

surely forgot what they’d seen.

當然也不記得他們看過了什麼

Problem solved!

問題解決！

Number 5

第五名

No, literally, cover it up.

不，我講真的，隱埋起來

When the world’s on your case for spewing out so much pollution

當全世界都因為你 出口太多污染而針對你

that it even reaches the United States,

汙染甚至擴散至美國時

Whaddya gonna do?

你該怎麼辦？

Stuff cotton balls into your air monitoring equipment.

在你的空氣監測器裡面塞棉花球

Because then, how will anyone know there’s pollution, mwhaha.

因為這麼一來 就沒有人知道有汙染了哇哈哈

Oh yeah.

啊對

They have eyes.

他們眼睛看得到

Number 4

第四名

Turn on the sprinklers

打開灑水器

No, not just any sprinklers.

不是隨隨便便的灑水器

Giant, giant ones!

超級超級大的那種

Put them on top of skyscrapers.

把它們放在摩天大樓頂上

It’s like how you’d spray water on a baseball diamond

就像在棒球場上灑水一樣

to keep the dust down.

好讓塵土不會到處飛揚

This idea comes from Shaocai Yu,

這個點子來自俞紹才

a geoengineering researcher from Zhejiang

一位浙江和北卡羅來納州立大學的

and North Carolina State universities.

地球工程研究員

Wow, his Photoshopping is even worse than Chinese officials’!

哇，他修圖的技術比中國官員還糟！

Number 3

第三名

Conversion—it’s not just for infidels anymore

轉換──不再只用來對付異教徒

If coal is the problem,

假如煤炭是問題所在

then converting it to natural gas

那麼把它轉換成天然氣

must be the solution!

一定就能解決問題！

Natural gas burns cleaner with less emissions.

燃燒天然氣的排放量比較少，比較乾淨

Wow, do we have an actual idea here?

哇，聽起來這是個可行的方式

Well, before you get too excited,

在你興奮過頭之前

there are a few problems.

有一些問題

One,

第一

even though it won’t produce the same kind of air pollution as coal,

就算不會製造出跟燃煤一樣的空氣汙染

natural gas can “release 36-108% more greenhouse gases than coal.”

天然氣比煤礦多釋放 36% 到 108% 的溫室氣體

It also takes loads of water to convert.

轉換也需要用到很多水

So where should we build these?

我們該在哪裡蓋這些廠房？

Obviously in Xinjiang and Inner Mongolia,

當然是極度缺水的

where there’s almost no more water left.

新疆或內蒙古

But you know, that was almost a real idea.

但你知道嗎？ 那幾乎是個可行的方式

Maybe the next one will be as well.

也許下一個也能幾乎可行

Number 2

第二名

Space Lasers.

太空雷射

To reduce its reliance on dirty coal power,

為了降低對骯髒煤炭能源的依賴

China has drawn up plans to build a gigantic

中國畫了藍圖 要打造一個

solar-powered spacecraft.

巨大的太陽能宇宙飛船

It would convert solar energy into microwave energy

它能將太陽能轉化成微波能量

that would then be shot down to the Earth like a giant laser beam,

然後有如一束巨大的 雷射光一樣射向地球

and then converted to electricity.

接著轉化成電力

What could go wrong with giant space lasers?

巨大的太空雷射還能出什麼差錯呢？

And Number 1

第一名

Change your thinking!

改變思維！

Why all this negative talk about pollution?

為什麼談到汙染就充滿負能量呢？

You can’t solve it.

沒辦法解決它

So change your perspective!

就換個角度思考吧！

Party mouthpiece CCTV did.

中共傳聲筒央視就這麼做了

In an article that’s now been removed from the Internet,

在一篇已被從網路上移除的文章中

a CCTV editor argued that pollution has many benefits.

一名央視編輯辯說汙染有許多好處

Didn’t stop there.

還不只如此

My favorite state-run media Global Times pointed out

我最愛的官媒《環球時報》指出

that smog even has practical military applications.

霧霾甚至有實質的軍事用途

I mean, your enemy can’t blow you up if they can’t see you!

意思是說，假如敵人看不見你 他們就沒辦法轟炸你

Well, those were all pretty crazy.

這些都挺瘋狂的

And that just scratches the surface.

而這還只是些皮毛而已

I didn’t even have time to get to the giant floating jellyfish.

我還沒時間談巨型漂浮水母

That one will have to wait for next week,

得等到下週

when I release part 2,

待我上傳續集

yet another 10 insane pollution solutions.

另外十個瘋狂的汙染解方

So what do you think of these?

所以你對這些點子有什麼看法？

And what’s your guess about the jellyfish?

而你又能猜到水母是什麼嗎？

Leave your comments below.

請於下方留言

Thanks for watching this episode of China Uncensored.

謝謝收看本集《中國解密》

Once again I’m your host Chris Chappell.

我是主持人 Chris Chappell

See you next time.

下次再會