Announcer: Sword Art Online is the greatest game ever!

刀劍神域是史上最好的遊戲！

Kirito: This is the Greatest Game EVER!

這遊戲真的太讚啦！

Announcer: You are now all trapped

你們現在全部都被困在遊戲裡了

until someone completes a hundred floors.

直到某人把100層都破關為止

Kirito: Fuck

幹

[Nightcore Opening Theme]

哈哈，原來你們大部分都是肥宅啊

Announcer: Haha, most of you are actually guys

順道一提，假如你死在這裡，在現實世界也會死掉喔

Announcer: Oh, if you die here you die in real life

*爆氣肥宅與12歲屁孩*

*raging nerds and 12 year olds*

你，給我過來

Kirito: YOU, come with me

我需要一個搞笑角色

I need a comedic sidekick!

我想我應該會是個有趣的角色

Klein: Actually I think I can be an interesting character

觀眾肯定會想看到更多－

audiences would like

觀眾肯定會想看到更多－

to see more-

閉嘴克萊因

Kirito: SHADDUP Klein

等你變成主要角色

come back when you're

再來跟我抬槓吧

a Main Character™!

克萊因戲份RIP

ಥ_ಥ(I cri everytim)

2個月過去了

Announcer: 2 Months have passed

已經有2000人死亡

and 2,000 people have died

因為太多人死掉

Blue hair: Too many people have died

所以你們在這次副本中唯一要做的就是

So your only objective of this raid is

別 死

DON'T DIE

媽的我快死掉了

Blue hair: Oh God I'm dyiiing

快喝下藥水

Kirito: Drink the potion

GG

Blue hair: This is it

一切到此為止了

I can tell this is The End

快給我他媽的補血啊

Kirito: Drink the GODDAMN potion!

告訴我的家人，我愛他們

Stupid Blue Extra: Just tell my family I love them

你趕快喝藥水不就沒事了？

Kirito: WILL U JUST DRINK THE POTION ALREADY?!

為什麼你他媽就是不喝藥水！？

BLEH (Rest in pepperonis Blue Hair Guy)

去他的，老子自己來

Kirito: WHY DIDN'T YOU DRINK THE POTION?!

太神啦我願意幫他生孩子！

Screw it!I'll do it myself.

這傢伙到底是誰？

[COFFEE SODA Soundtrack]

我就是黑色劍士

Someone in the background: OH MY GAWD I WANT HIS BABIES!!!

你才不是咧 （烙印勇士表示：）

Other male voice: Who the hell is he?

這傢伙為什麼會這麼OP？

Black Swordsman: I'm the Black Swordsman

我沒有很OP啦

Guts cameo: No you're fuckin not

該來找找我的真命天女了

Redhead bitch: How the hell did he get so Overpowered™?!?!

該來找找我的真命天女了

Kirito: psh

妳是我的真命天女嗎？

I'm not Overpowered™!

我想我是

fFUCK

(*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

OUTPLAYED

是妳嗎？

MLG

我才12歲欸！

NO buffz

是妳嗎？

GGGGG

我就跟保險套工廠裡出現的豪豬一樣沒用

LVL 50 vs LVL 1

那妳呢？

gg nub guild

大奶妹？

floating Faker

人、人家才不喜歡你呢

Kirito: Now I just need to find

你這白痴

my generic love interest!

笨、笨蛋

Kirito: Are you the right one?

很好

Additional voice: I guess I could

嗨

(blood-curdling scream as she dies)

嗨

Pedo-Kirito: are you the right one?

給虧嗎？

12-yr-old: I'm like 12!

OK

Kirito: Are u the right one?

來%%%嗎？

I'm as useless as a hedgehog in a condom factory!

OK

Kirito: How 'bout you?

射了2年份的量

Tits McGee?

這樣會不會有小孩啊？

Tsundere-Asuna: It's not like I like you or anything

這樣會不會有小孩啊？

you idiot

幹我希望不會

BAKA

桐人！看看我發現什麼

Kirito: purrfect

你他媽不是在開玩笑吧

Hi

我們可以養她嗎？

HI!

不要

Kirito: wanna get married?

但是人家想要～

Asuna: OK

不要

Kirito: wanna have sex?

霸托霸托～

Asuna: OK

不要！

(I came with the force of a thousand suns)

那我就一個月不跟你%%%囉

Asuna: Does this mean

好吧

we can have children now?

只要你保證你會定時餵她

Kirito: GAWD I hope not

然後帶她出去散步

Asuna: Kirito! look what I found

你們是我的媽媽和爸爸嗎？

Kirito: You've gotta be fuckin kidding me

是！

Asuna: can we keep it?

不是！

Kirito: NO

可以把鏡頭拉回去看老子有多OP嗎？

Asuna: BUT I want ooone

噢我現在能星爆了！

Kirito: NO

這種技能太不公平了吧

Asuna: Pleeeeeeeeaaase

閉嘴克萊因

Kirito: NO!

不是主角別說話！

Asuna: I'm not having sex with you for a month!

克萊因戲份RIP

Kirito: FINE

現在這遊戲裡沒人可以打倒我了！

Kirito: If you promise to feed it properly

隨便你怎麼講

and take it for walks.

但 是 我 才 是 刀 劍 最 強 玩 家

Loli-AI: Are you my mama and papa?

但 是 我 才 是 刀 劍 最 強 玩 家

Asuna: YES!

但 是 我 才 是 刀 劍 最 強 玩 家

Kirito: NOOO!

很會講是不是？

Kirito: can we just go back to showing me being Overpowered™?

出來單挑！

(Best battle ever)

幹

Kirito: Oh so apparently I can dual-wield now!

希茲克利夫勝利

Who-is-this-again: Hey how is that fair?

駭客

Kirito: SHAHDUP Klein

你是駭客

Come back when you're a Main Character™!

蛤？

ಥ_ಥ

你就是茅場晶彥吧？

(RIP Klein.You were never a main character)

你在說什麼？

Kirito: Now NOONE can beat me at this game!

因為照理說除了GM，沒人能打敗我啊

Kayaba Akihiko: Imma let you finish Kirito

我恭喜你找出真相

but I AM THE GREATEST SAO PLAYER OF ALL TIME

來對決吧！

(nerd)

幹真假？我只是在打嘴砲啦

but I AM THE GREATEST SAO PLAYER OF ALL TIME

唉呀砍錯囉

Kirito: YOU WANNA GO?

亞絲娜！

FITE ME ON UR OWN BR0H

為什麼？

fk

因為這是我唯一能派上用場的地方

Announcer: Heathcliff WIN

我接下來還是會死啊

Kirito: HACKS

你個白癡女人

I call HACKS

你死惹

Not-Kayaba-Akihiko: What?

駭客模式開啟

Kirito: you're Kayaba Akihiko aren't you?

什麼？

Definitely-Not-Akihiko: What are you talking about?

這根本不合理

Kirito: Obviously noone else can beat me at this game!

GGNoRe (GoodGameNoRematch:好遊戲不會重新來過)

Kayaba: I commend you for figuring out the truth

恭喜破關

NOW FITE ME!!!

為什麼你要讓這麼多人困在遊戲裡？

Kirito: Oh shit seriously? I was just talking out of my ass!

誰知道？

Kayaba: Ooopsy Daisy

聽起來很合理

Kirito: Asuna

我們出去之後，我要把你吹上天！

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

沒問題

Asuna: Because that's the only useful thing I'm ever gonna do

女人醒醒！說好的吹上天呢？

(Death intestifies)

她恐怕不會醒來了……

Kirito: I'M STILL GONNA DIE

你誰啊？

YOU STUPID BITCH!

我是下半季要跟你搶這女孩的反派

now you die

哈哈哈哈

HAX MODE ON

好吧中年大叔

WHAT?

在你臨死之前好好玩一下

(stab)

嗨我是你妹，來亂倫吧

Kayaba: this doesn't even make sense

抱歉我現在對亂倫不感興趣

gg no re

現在該怎麼辦？

Kayaba: Congratulations on beating the game

你知道嗎？最近有一款新RPG

Kirito: So, how come you wanted to trap thousands of people in this game?

現在不是玩遊戲的時候

Pfff

我要找出能救亞絲娜的方法

I dunno

我的媽這能飛？

Seems legit.

老子絕對要玩這個！

Asuna: I'm gonna blow you so hard when we get out of here!

老子絕對要玩這個！

OK

老子絕對要玩這個！

WAKE UP BITCH U OWE ME A BJ!!!

老子絕對要玩這個！

Obvious Antagonist: I'm afraid she's not going wake up...

那亞絲娜怎麼辦？

Kirito: Who are you?

那誰啊？

Mr.Pedo: I'm the new bad guy of this arc who's going to marry this girl!

你一頭黑髮，還很會玩電動

hhHahhHaa

就跟我哥一樣！

Alright Pedo McGreatface

妳奶超大

have fun getting dead first for the rest of your life [still don't know if this is correct]

就跟我妹一樣！

Hi I'm Incest(Hi Incest I'm dad)

我有講過我愛上我哥嗎？

Kirito: Sorry Incest I'm not really interested right now

如果我是妳哥，肯定會很痛苦

What am I supposed to do now?

你是我哥？

Male voice: Have you heard? There's a new RPG out

我是你哥！？

Now's not the time for games

幹

I have to figure out a way to save Asuna

幹

HOLY SHIT YOU CAN FLY?

我不敢相信我愛上我哥

I'M

等等小直

SO

你和我還有機會

FUCKIN

沒關係，我馬上就不在意了

ON THIS!!

來玩更多的電玩吧

What about saving Asuna?

沒有人能打倒這最終BOSS

Saving who?

哼哼

Incest: You have black hair and you're really good at video games!

你以為我是誰啊？

Just like my brother!

老子可是桐人

Kirito: You have very big breasts,

(*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

just like my sister!

(*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

Incest: Did I ever tell you I was in love with my brother?

好吧，我想第二次會更好

Brother: Wow It'd sure suck if I was your brother!

是時候展示我們友情的力量了！

Incest: YOU'RE MY BROTHER?(OOOO what a twist)

是時候展示我們友情的力量了！

Brother: I'M YOUR BROTHER?!

我其實只是個

FOCK

路人甲

PHUCK

很好，我殺過來了

I Can'T BelIEvE I FeLl In LoVE wIth My bRotHER

該把妳救出去了

Kirito: Sugu wait

你打算怎麼出去？

you still might have a chance with me

學《烙印勇士》一樣鬼叫啊

Sugu: I'm instantly over it

格里菲斯斯斯斯

Let's play more Video Games

茅場，又是你

Sugu: This final boss is impossible to beat

等等

HAH

你到底是怎麼來到這裡的？

who the hell do you think I am?

誰知道？

I'm Kirito

聽起來很合理

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

駭客模式開啟

stabby stabby

什麼？

alright well I guess 2nd time's a charm

什麼？

Sugu: This time with the power of

怎樣搞的？

FRIENDSHIP

茅場

I'm actually just a

茅場場場！

pointless character

最後回合

DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU

所以就這樣了

Alright I'm through

我救了我的女孩

now to get you out

擊敗反派

Asuna: How do you plan to get us out?

也脫離了2年的折磨

by ripping off Berserk

我想現在只剩下一件事要做了

*manly grunt*

繼續玩刀劍神域吧！

Griffiiiiittthhh

繼續玩刀劍神域吧！

Oh you're here again

繼續玩刀劍神域吧！

wait

How are you even here?

pff

I dunno

seems legit

HAX MODE ON

what?

wat?

how?

Kayaba

KAYABAAA!

FINAL BATTLE

omg such epic

much awesome

*cough*

So this is it

I've saved my girl,

defeated the bad guy

and escaped the game after living 2 years of a torturous life in it

I guess there's only one more thing to do

PLAY

SWORD ART ONLINE

AGAIN

yeah

*Kirito's Harem Girls Laugh*