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  • Lizzie: So a few days ago I told you about my mom, and because it's only fair, I'm going to give you the

  • scoop on the rest of my family. Sounds craaaazy interesting, I know. But this way, in a

  • month, or more like a week, when I'm all

  • "Ugh, Lydia's being a stupid whore-y slut again!" and all you lovely

  • viewers are like "Um, who's Lydia?" I can be all, "Hey, just go watch the second video

  • I posted." Bam! Confusion over. Well, not yet.

  • Now I've probably just confused you more, but we will get there.

  • My name is Lizzie Bennet and these are my sisters.

  • "My Sisters: Problematic to Practically Perfect" Written by Rachel Kiley

  • So I'm Lizzie, or Elizabeth if you're my mother and I did something to piss you off. I like rain, classic novels, and

  • any movie starring Colin Firth. I'm in grad school studying Mass Communications, so I read a lot, I write a lot, and especially

  • at this moment, talk a lot. So that's me. But wait! I'm not the only Bennet. I'm, in fact,

  • one of three sisters, and I'm smack dab in the middle. That's right, I'm the dreaded middle child!

  • Doomed to a life of drug addiction, irresolute drinking,

  • and out of wedlock pregnancy! But that thorny path is perhaps better suited

  • to my youngest sister who you've already met. Lydia: Jackpot, right? Whaaaat! Lizzie: No.

  • Lizzie: Lydia. We're all very proud she's now too old to be on any reality shows about having babies in high school.

  • Seriously. She's like a puppy. A cute, adorable, humps the neighbor's leg,

  • never know where she sleeps puppy. Yeah, she chews your slippers and marks her territory all over town,

  • but you still love her.

  • And then there's the eldest Bennet sister, Jane. "Practically perfect in every way."

  • Jane: Hey, did you say my name?

  • Lizzie: Including practically perfect hearing. No, we're just shooting a video.

  • Jane: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Lizzie: No wait, come here. I was introducing you anyway, so just sit.

  • Jane: Do I have to know lines? Lizzie: No! No.

  • This is all completely improvised. Jane: Oh gosh.

  • Lizzie: Internet, meet my sister, Jane.

  • You look tired. Good day at work? Jane: Yeah, yeah.

  • I'm just really exhausted.

  • They had me running around and ordering fabrics all day, and sorting them,

  • and making phone calls, then I think I made ten pots of coffee and I drank probably a lot of cups of those.

  • (laughter)

  • Lizzie: They work you so hard, I wish they paid you more.

  • Jane: Yeah. But that's the price of the industry, so. Okay. Alright, bye.

  • Oh my gosh! I almost forgot, I fixed this for you during break, so be careful next time with those buttons

  • but, you know, I'll fix this, so. Alright, bye.

  • Lizzie: Thank you. Jane: Bye.

  • Lizzie: Seriously, she's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. It frustrates our mom to no end

  • that Jane hasn't snatched up a husband yet. She's doing so much more with her life than prancing around

  • as some trophy wife. We're super close. She's pretty much my best friend.

  • Charlotte: (clears throat)

  • Lizzie: Which brings me to my realest, most amazing, super fantastic best friend, Charlotte!

  • She's totally my best friend.

  • Did I mention you're totally my best friend?

  • Charlotte: Nice try. Lizzie: Charlotte and I have been best friends basically since we were fetuses. Fetii?

  • Charlotte: Fetuses. Our mothers were bridge partners when they were pregnant with us.

  • Lizzie: And they went into labor within like ten minutes of each other at the

  • same book club meeting. And what were they reading?

  • Charlotte: Sense & Sensibility. Lizzie: So it's pretty much destiny.

  • We've been inseparable ever since. Charlotte is as constant in my life as my sisters.

  • Charlotte: And I always will be.

  • Lizzie: Especially now, because she's shooting and editing these video diaries, fulfilling

  • her need to have total control over our friendship.

  • Charlotte: Says the girl who cried through my entire birthday party until I gave her one of my presents to open.

  • Lizzie: I was six!

  • Charlotte: And a total brat.

  • Lizzie: So that is all for today! Don't forget to tune in next time, as I'm sure there will be more

  • mama drama in the mystery of Which Bennet Sister Will Mom Throw At The New Neighbor Next?

  • Charlotte: Dun dun dun!

  • Lizzie: Peace!

  • Charlotte: You need a better sign off,

  • something that sticks with your audience but isn't so incredibly lame.

  • Lizzie: Get your own video blog!

Lizzie: So a few days ago I told you about my mom, and because it's only fair, I'm going to give you the

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我的姐妹們。從問題到實踐完美--第二集 (My Sisters: Problematic to Practically Perfect - Ep: 2)

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    Bingxin Chen 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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