♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

（掌聲）

>> HELLO!

>> 你好！

HELLO!

你好！

HELLO!

你好！

IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT?

太神奇了，不是嗎？

GOOD FOR YOU.

對你有好處。

>> Stephen: PEOPLE VERY EXCITED ABOUT KEVIN HART.

>> Stephen: 人們對KEVIN HART感到非常興奮。

>> OH, STOP IT!

>> 哦，停止它！

STOP THAT!

別這樣！

>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.

>> Stephen:等一下。

THAT'S AN AMAZING RESPONSE, BUT YOU MUST BE USED TO THAT PAUSE

這是一個很好的迴應，但你必須習慣這種暫停。

YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW COMEDIANS IN THE WORLD, YOU SELL OUT HUGE

你是世界上為數不多的喜劇演員之一，你的票房很高。

ARENAS.

ARENAS：

LIKE THE O2 ARENA IN LONDON, MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.

就像倫敦的O2 ARENA，MADISON SQUARE GARDEN。

AND WHAT'S THE BIG ARENA IN PHILLY?

費城的大競技場是什麼？

LINCOLN FINANCIAL WHERE YOU'RE FROM.

林肯金融公司，你從哪裡來？

>> WE DID 53,000 PEOPLE.

>> 我們做了53000人。

I'M WHAT DO YOU CALL IT, A BIG DEAL.

我是什麼你叫它，一個偉大的交易。

YEAH.

是的。

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

（歡呼聲和掌聲）：

>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.

>> Stephen:這是很好的。

HOW DO YOU PLAY-- HOW DO YOU PLAY A JOKE TO 53,000 PEOPLE?

你怎麼玩... 你怎麼跟5萬3千人開玩笑？

HOW DO YOU, LIKE, HOLD A ROOM LIKE THAT, MAN?

你怎麼，喜歡，持有這樣的房間，男人？

>> WELL, I THINK I PRIDE MYSELF ON MAKING THOSE ROOMS INTIMATE

>> 我想我很自豪能讓這些房間變得很有吸引力

ROOMS.

房間：

I'M A STORYTELLER, SO WHEN YOU TELL A STORY THE BEAUTY OF DOING

我是一個講故事的人，所以當你講故事的時候，你要做的事情就很美。

IT WITH AN AMAZING AUDIENCE IS CAPTIVATING THE THE AUDIENCE

它與一個驚人的觀眾是吸引觀眾的

WITH EVERY WORD UNTIL THE PUNCHLINE COMES.

隨著每一個字，直到拳頭線的到來。

I PAINT PICTURES BUT THEY'RE REALISTIC PICTURES.

我畫畫，但他們是現實主義的畫。

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I PUT MYSELF IN YOUR SHOES AND YOU CAN

在一天結束的時候，我把自己放在你的位置上，而你也可以。

SEE YOURSELF IN MY STORIES BECAUSE MY STORIES ARE

在我的故事中看到你自己，因為我的故事是。

RELATABLE.

相關的。

I DON'T SEPARATE MYSELF.

我不分開我自己。

THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.

這就是為什麼我愛你們這些人。

>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE LOVE YOU.

>> Stephen:知道人們為什麼愛你是件好事。

I WOULDN'T WANT IT TO BE A MYSTERY.

我不想讓它成為一個謎。

>> NO, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF REALITY, AND

>> 不，你必須確保你永遠不會失去現實的視線，並。

REGARDLESS OF ANY SUCCESS THAT YOU HAVE YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN

不管你必須保持的任何成功。

THAT CONNECTION WITH THE FANS.

與球迷的聯繫。

>> Stephen: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN HOLD ON TO REALITY?

>> Stephen:你真的認為你能堅持到現實嗎？

YOU'RE SO HUGE.

你是如此巨大。

YOU HIT 30 MILLION PEOPLE ON TWITTER TODAY.

你今天在微博上點擊了3000萬人次。

>> I DID!

>> 我做到了！

EVERYBODY DANCED AROUND THE WORLD.

每個人都在世界範圍內跳舞。

I TWEETED, "DANCE."

我發了微博，"跳舞"。

I JUST HIT 30 MILLION.

我剛剛達到3千萬。

I WANT EVERYBODY TO DANCE.

我希望每個人都能跳舞。

AND I REALLY BELIEVE EVERYBODY DANCED.

我真的相信每個人都在跳舞。

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> Stephen:所有的權利，所有的權利。

YOU HAVE TWO MOVIES OUT RIGHT NOW AT THE SAME TIME.

你現在有兩部電影同時上映。

YOU HAVE "THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS"."

你有 "寵物的祕密生活"。"

YOU'VE GOT "CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE" WITH DWAYNE

你和DWAYNE有了 "中樞智慧"

JOHNSON.

JOHNSON：

>> YES, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, MAN.

>> 是的，謝謝你，謝謝你，夥計。

>> Stephen: "SECRET LIFE OF PETS" YOU PLAY A MILITANT--

>> 史蒂芬："寵物的祕密生活 "你扮演一個軍事家----------。

>> WHITE BUNNY.

>> 白兔。

>> Stephen: WHITE BUNNY.

>> Stephen:白兔：

OKAY.

好的。

I DO NOT THINK OF YOU AS A MILITANT WHITE BUNNY.

我不認為你是一個軍事白兔。

>> FIRST OF ALL, I TOOK IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO PLAY

>>首先，我拿下它是因為我想玩。

SOMEBODY WHITE.

某人白。

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

（笑聲） （掌聲）

YOU KNOW, I JUMPED AT THE OPPORTUNITY.

你知道嗎，我抓住了這個機會。

>> Stephen: UH-HUH.

>> Stephen:UH -HUH。

>> I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO GET THIS OPPORTUNITY A LOT.

>> 我說我不會得到這個機會很多。

I SAID I'LL TAKE IT.

我說我會接受它。

IT'S A BUNNY.

它是一隻兔子。

IT DON'T MATTER.

這並不重要。

HE'S WHITE.

他是白色的。

I WANT TO DO IT.

我想這樣做。

WHEN THEY TOLD ME HE'S MILITANT, THE WHOLE THING WITH THE BUNNY

當他們告訴我他是個軍人時，和兔子的那件事

IS HE IS STARTING A REVOLUTION.

是他開始了一場革命。

THIS GUY IS IN CHARGE OF TAKING THIS GROUP OF PETS AND TURNING

這傢伙是負責採取這組寵物，並把。

THEM AGAINST HUMANS.

THEM AGAINST HUMANS.

AND I WAS LIKE, THAT'S ME.

我想，這就是我。

I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

我一直都是這樣做的。

I BROUGHT MY CHARACTERISTIC TRAITS TO THE BUNNY.

我把我的性格特點傳染給了兔子。

AND THEY LOVED IT.

他們喜歡它。

THEY ALLOWED ME TO IMPROV AND PLAY AROUND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

他們讓我儘可能地提高和玩耍。

IT CAME OUT GOOD.

它的結果是好的。

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE PETS OF YOUR OWN?

>> Stephen:你有自己的寵物嗎？

>> I DO HAVE PETS.

>> 我確實有寵物。

I HAVE TWO DOGS.

我有兩隻狗。

>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND THEY'RE DOING

>> Stephen:你認為當你不在的時候，他們在做什麼？

THE KINDS OF THINGS THESE ANIMALS ARE DOING?

這些動物在做什麼？

>> 100%.

>> 100%.

I HAVE A DOBERMAN PINCHER.

我有一個多寶犬夾子。

AND A MIN-PIN.

和一個MIN -PIN。

>> Stephen: OH, MINIPINCHER.

>> Stephen:哦，MINIPINCHER。

>> I DID IT AS A JOKE.

>> 我是開玩笑的。

I BOUGHT IT AS A JOKE.

我買了它作為一個玩笑。

WHEN PEOPLE COME TO MY HOUSE, LOOK AT THE BIG DOBERMAN!

當人們來我家的時候，看看那隻大狗！

HE'S GOT A LITTLE ONE, TOO!

他也有一個小的！

>> Stephen: DO PEOPLE DO THAT?

>> Stephen:人們會這樣做嗎？

>> NO.

>> NO.

NOBODY HAS DONE IT, AND IT HAS PISSED ME OFF.

沒有人做過，這讓我很生氣。

IT'S MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE LITTLE ONE OF A WASTE OF MONEY.

這讓我覺得自己是個浪費錢的小人物。

NOBODY GETS IT.

沒有人得到它。

YOU'RE THERE FOR A PUNCHLINE.

你是為了一記重拳而來。

THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE THERE IS TO BE A PUNCHLINE.

這就是你來這裡的原因，就是為了做個打線。

>> Stephen: I HOPE THAT DOG IS NOT WATCHING RIGHT NOW.

>> Stephen:我希望那隻狗現在沒有在看。

IT WOULD BE REALLY DEPRESSING TO FIND OUT YOU WERE JUST THERE FOR

如果發現你只是去了那裡，那就太鬱悶了。

A PUNCHLINE.

到PUNCHLINE。

>> THAT DOG COOKED POTATO SALAD ONE DAY, I KNOW HE DID.

>> 那隻狗有一天做了洋芋沙拉，我知道他做了。

LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE POTATO SALAD, AND MY LADY CAN'T

聽著，我不知道怎麼做洋芋沙拉，而我的夫人也不會做

COOK.

COOK：

I CAME HOME, POTATO SALAD WAS ON THE TABLE.

我回到家，洋芋沙拉在桌子上。

WHO COOKED THE POTATO SALAD?

誰做的洋芋沙拉？

HAD TO BE THE DOG.

必須是狗。

>> Stephen: THAT'S LOGICAL.

>> Stephen:這是邏輯的。

100% PURE LOGIC.

100%純邏輯。

>> I LOVE DOGS.

>> 和愛狗。

I HAVE BECOME A DOG GUY.

我已經成為一個狗的傢伙。

MY FIANCE IS TURNING ME INTO A DOG GUY.

我的未婚妻把我變成了一隻狗的傢伙。

I WAS AGAINST PETS.

我是反對寵物的。

I WAS AGAINST ( BLEEP ) THAT COULD MESS MY HOUSE UP.

我反對把我的房子搞得一團糟。

>> Stephen: HOW DID SHE TURN YOU INTO A DOG PERSON?

>> Stephen:她是怎麼把你變成狗的？

>> WOMEN DO MAN.

>> 女人做男人。

THEY MAKE YOU DO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.

他們讓你做你不想做的事。

THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO.

這就是女人要做的事。

THAT'S A TALENT WOMEN HAVE.

這就是女人的天賦。

THEY BEAT YOU DOWN.

他們把你打敗了。

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DID IT.

我不知道她是怎麼做到的。

I THINK SHE ASKED ME FOR TWO YEARS STRAIGHT.

我想她問了我兩年的時間。

AND ONE DAY I MIGHT HAVE BEEN DRUNK AND I WAS LIKE, "ALL

有一天，我可能已經喝了酒，我想，"所有的。

RIGHT."

右。"

AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, WE GET THESE DOGS.

接下來我知道，我們得到這些狗。

AND NOW THE DOGS SLEEP IN THE BED.

現在狗兒們都睡在床上了。

I HAVE NO SAY-SO.

我無話可說

MY DOBERMAN, I WOKE UP, THIS DOG'S RESPECT LEVEL IS SO LOW.

我的多寶犬，我醒了，這隻狗的尊重水準太低了。

HER FACE IS ON MY FACE.

她的臉在我臉上

AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

我想，"你在做什麼？"

AND SHE'S GOING ( GROWLING ).

而她的去（咆哮）。

>> Stephen: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOGS STILL, RIGHT?

>> 你還在說狗的事，對嗎？

YOU CROSSED OVER BETWEEN MAKING YOU DO THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO

你越過了讓你做你不想做的事情的中間環節

DO.

DO：

>> MY LADY LETS IT HAPPEN.

>> 我的夫人讓它發生。

I DON'T EVEN HAVE CONTROL OVER MY BED ANYMORE.

我甚至無法控制我的床了。

I COME THERE, AND THE DOGS ARE IT IN THE BED.

我來到這裡，和狗是它在床上。

I HAVE TO FIND A POSITION TO SLEEP IN.

我必須找一個位置睡覺。

INSPECTORLY THE DOG IS IN THE BED AND HE LOOKS AT THE COMFORT

狗狗在床上，他看了看舒適度。

SPOT.

斑點：

AND I'M LIKE THAT'S ME.

我想這就是我。

EXCUSE ME I DON'T WANT TO WAKE ANYBODY UP.

對不起，我不想吵醒任何人。

>> Stephen: DO YOU MIND IF I SLEEP AT THE BOTTOM.

>> 你介意我睡在底部嗎。

>> I TAKE THIS NOOK VERSION OF THE BED THATY LEFT FOR ME.

>> 我把這個諾克版本的床留給了我。

I DON'T EXPLAIN ABOUT IT.

我不解釋它。

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU HAVE TIME TO BE HERE.

>> 我不知道你怎麼有時間來這裡。

YOU'RE WRITING A MEMOIR THAT COMES OUT IN 2017, NEXT YEAR.

你在寫一本回憶錄，2017年出版，明年。

>> I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

>> 我要跟你說實話。

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.

我甚至不知道今天是什麼日子。

RIGHT NOW, I'M SLEEPING.

現在，我正在睡覺。

THIS IS HOW I SLEEP.

這就是我的睡眠方式。

IT'>> Stephen: IT'S FRIDAY, IT'SED FROM.

IT'>>斯蒂芬。今天是星期五，它從。

>> IT'S FRIDAY HERE BUT I HAVE TO BE SOMEPLACE ELSE TOMORROW.

>> 今天是星期五，但我明天要去別的地方。

I DON'T KNOW WHAT DAY IT WILL BE THERE.

我不知道哪天會到那裡。

I HAVE TO BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

我必須離開這個國家。

HONESTLY, I'M WORKING A LOT, MAN.

老實說，我工作了很多，男人。

I LOVE THE LOAD THAT I HAVE.

我喜歡我的負載。

YOU KNOW, IT IS A LOT, AND I PUT A LOT ON MY PLATE BUT AT THE END

你知道，這是一個很大的， 我把很多在我的盤子裡，但最後

OF THE DAY GOD DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE.

這一天，上帝不會給你任何你不能處理的事情。

AND I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT I CAN NOT ONLY HANDLE THESE THINGS

我堅信我不僅能處理好這些事情

BUT I'M DOING IT AT THE HIGHEST OF MY POTENTIAL.

但我是在我潛力最大的時候做的。

I'M NOT ONLY HANDLING IT BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH IT.

我不只是在處理它，但我愛上了它。

I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CRAFT.

我愛上了我的手藝。

I'M IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT I'M SUCCEEDING.

我愛上了我成功的事實。

>> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC.

>> Stephen:這是夢幻般的。

>> I'M HAPPY, I'M HAPPY.

>> 我很高興，我很高興。

>> Stephen: THAT'S A GREAT FEELING.

>> Stephen:那是一種很好的感覺。

>> THAT'S AN AMAZING FEELING.

>> 這真是一種奇妙的感覺。

>> Stephen: YOU CAN HANG ON AND WE'LL TALK A LITTLE BIT

>> 史蒂芬：你可以堅持下去，我們會聊一點。

MORE.

更多

>> WHAT IF I SAID NO.

>> 如果我說不呢？

>> Stephen: WE COULD COME BACK AND I WOULD WEEP INTO THE CAMERA

>> 我們可以回來，我會對著鏡頭流淚。

FOR A FEW MINUTES.

幾分鐘。

>> IN THAT CASE I CAN HANG ON.

>> 在這種情況下，我可以堅持下去。

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE KEVIN HART.

>> Stephen:我們馬上回來，會有更多的KEVIN HART。