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I don't know if you remember this, but we've met before.
Oh, I remember. [audience laughs]
Do you remember this? It was really embarrassing for me.
[laughing] Yes.
[Jimmy] It was? Do you want me to tell --
Yeah! I have not seen you since then.
I have not! That is correct. - Right? No.
But this is years ago, and I -- do you want me to tell my version of the story?
Yeah, you tell your version. [laughter]
I'm walking down the street, in New York City,
- Yeah. - My friend Rick calls me and says,
"Dude, what are you doing?"
I go, "I'm just walking down the street."
He goes, "I have Nicole Kidman with me,
and she wants to meet you for, uh, maybe, to be in Bewitched or something like that"
so I go, "Wha-? OK."
And he goes, "I can be at your apartment in like ten minutes."
I go, "You're going to bring Nicole Kidman over to my apartment?"
I'm like, "OK, I don't know, what do I do? What, do I have something? What do I do?"
He goes, "I dunno, just get some cheese and crackers or something,"
and I'm like, "Cheese and crackers! I'm --" [babbling]
"I don't have dinner parties, I don't have anyone over to my house."
I'm like, "I have video games and sneakers."
[Nicole] That's right!
So I go and, I go, there's a deli, and I go in the deli.
I go, "What do you mean, cheese?"
He goes, "Get Brie or something."
I go, "Brie?" I didn't even know what that is, I'm like, "Uh ..."
So I go in this -- I'm on Saturday Night Live, I guess,
or something, I don't remember, really, when it was --
I just remember I liked you and he was like -- not now.
[laughter] I'm married now.
Um, but he was like, "Oh, well you can meet --"
[laughter] [band plays music]
- What?! - Not that way!
[Jimmy] Wait, wait, what's going on? Wait, what?
So he said -- [audience laughing]
So Rick, our mutual friend, says, "Oh, you know Jimmy wants to meet you,
and you can go over to his apartment, and dadadada ..."
and I'm single, and I'm like, "OK, yeah, cool!"
[Jimmy] Wait, what?!
- Yes!
What?!? are you talking about? - Yes!
Did I date Nicole Kidman? Did we go out on a date?
So I go over, though, and you're there in a baseball cap,
and like, nothing. Just like --
I had Brie cheese!
And you wouldn't talk. You didn't say anything!
You were like, "Hey. Mm. Mm. Mm."
[talking over each other about being nervous and not talking]
[Jimmy] I didn't know this was a thing! I thought this was a movie!
It was like a hang, it was meant to just, I dunno.
And then you put a video game on or something --
[laughter]
and I'm like, "This is so bad."
[laughter, applause]
It was bad.
[foghorn sound]
I swear, and you didn't talk at all!
And so after about an hour and a half I thought,
"He has no interest. This is so embarrassing."
I had no clue at all!
[Nicole] And I left, and went, "OK, no chemistry."
And then I was like, "Maybe he's gay."
C'mon!! [band plays]
I'm outta here, take care.
[Nicole] OK, now I'm gonna do the show!
[cheering]
[Nicole] So tell me, Jimmy ...
[Jimmy] Well, doctor, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Nicole Kidman walked in my apartment --
[Nicole] That was our date.
Do you remember what the apartment looked like?
[Nicole] Like, not much.
Anyway, we weren't meant to be, right?
Wow, did you make a good decision.
You made a great, fantastic decision. - You didn't! Anyway. It was like that.
[Jimmy] Oh my gosh! I am in shock right now!
But now, so nice, we're both married with kids.
[Jimmy] Yeah! I can't believe I dated Nicole Kidman! This is fantastic!
You didn't!
This is unbelievable! Unbelievable.
It was one of the most awkward moments ever.
[Nicole] You're red!
I really am! I'm in shock! - So am I!
I can't believe it. Ha, you're definitely embarrassed!
Yeah, I mean, wow, my gosh! Are you friends with Rick any more?
Yes, I just saw him!
[Jimmy] No, we don't talk to him after that, yeah.
[Nicole] He's adorable!
You made a much better decision. Keith Urban is so much cooler than I am.
He's a rock star, you live in Nashville now ...
I do, yes.
He's always on tour, isn't he, constantly, like ...
Yes, these country guys -- yes, he's always on tour --
[Nicole] You're not trying to be all serious!
[Jimmy] No, I'm trying to be serious now. Look, here's the deal:
I'm not always on tour. I'm always at home.
[laughter]
Kids ... - You're working all the time!
Did he not just play a gig New Year's Eve, right?
He did, in Niagara Falls. - Yeah. Niagara Falls.
The Canada side or the New York side? - Um, the Canada side.
That's the side. - Beautiful.
The Canada side is like lights, and it's almost like Vegas, it's fun.
The New York side looks like a Lemony Snicket book cover.
Sad, and like, lots of trees with no leaves on it,
and you go, "What happened? Why is that side so much worse?"
Canada side, that's the place to do it. - Yeah.
It's amazing. Yeah, we gotta work on that side of Niagara Falls.
So where does he play? - I've never been to the New York side.
Oh, it's ... please. We'll fix it up.
Where does he play?
He played a big show there for about 60,000 people.
[Jimmy] Have you ever been to Niagara Falls?
I had before.
[Nicole] We can't even have a conversation.
[Jimmy] You're feelin' a little something, yeah.
You're feelin' a little chemistry?
A little chemistry now. But it's too late, baby!
Ship has sailed, OK Nicole?
Taken, OK? I'm taken, OK?
I'm just kidding, just kidding.
I can't believe this. What a day.
[Nicole] I am never coming on this show again.
No, come on! Come on! You've gotta ... they're feeling it!
This is fantastic!
[Nicole] I'm teasing you. [Jimmy] And we love Keith.
We love Keith. [Nicole] I love Keith!
We love Keith. He's been on the show. I know you love Keith more than I do.
I'm not saying I have a thing for Keith Urban.
I'm saying I enjoy his music, and I like him as a personality.
[Nicole] We're now fighting over Keith.
I don't have a --
Only one of us here is in love with Keith [Nicole] This is a disaster!
No, it's not a disaster. Uh, but he's always been on the show,
and you've never been on the show. - No.
Is this why? - Absolutely.
[Jimmy] So odd!
No, I just, we would watch you at home, and I'd be like, "Gosh,
will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Hm, maybe not."
[Jimmy] And you did! [Nicole] And now I did!
Anyway, let's talk about Paddington. [Jimmy] This is the best day ever, man.
This is like a great day. Let's talk about Paddington.
Paddington, congrats already, it's a big hit already.
Internationally, right? - Yes.
Overseas. They released it overseas first. [giggles]
I remember I got Brie cheese ...
And corn chips!
Corn chips! I didn't get -- did I get corn chips?
Yeah! And some old Chinese food.
How could I buy old Chinese food? - It was in the fridge.
It was in the fridge. It probably was. Really there was nothing there.
[Nicole] See, I've got a good memory.
Oh my god, I remember I got saltine crackers,
and I didn't have ... oh, it was just really awful. I didn't know.
And what sport do you really like? Baseball, or something ...
[Jimmy] What sport I was into? What hat was I wearing?
[Nicole] Yeah, you were wearing some baseball cap.
I love that you remember I was wearing a baseball hat. Cool, man.
[Nicole] And some sweats. [Jimmy] I was not wearing sweatpants!
What are you talkin' about?
It's like you went over to, like, Duck Dynasty guy's house, or something.
I was not wearing camo sweatpants. I was dressed in a ...
probably in a three-piece suit or something ...
You weren't interested, so you wore sweats and a baseball cap.
That's not true! I don't even know what you're talking about!
Now I'm like freaking out. All right.
I'm gonna go back to Paddington, we're gonna edit this out.
[Nicole] Yeah. Yeah.
The bear. - The bear.
The little adorable bear. - It's a cute bear. It's a cute movie.
You play the villain in the movie. - I do.
That's a good juicy role. - Yep.
[Jimmy] Did you always want to play -- what?
[laughter]
[Nicole] Can't even talk to you now!
[Jimmy] I mean you can't even say, you're stuttering and stuff, you're so nervous.
Only because you make me laugh now.
I make you laugh, yeah. I always made you laugh.
All right, so let's talk about it., my man Hugh Bonneville.
[Nicole] So funny. So funny. - Love him. Downton Abbey, we love him.
And there's a CGI bear and of course everyone knows the books.
But the bear does have the most beautiful eyes.
No, he does!
[Jimmy] Yeah! He does!
[Nicole] Why are you laughing?
[Jimmy] Everyone's feelin' the sexual chemistry here,
and it's awkward, and it's just odd.
[band plays]
Wanna play Mario Brothers?
I'll show you my new Nintendo. That's pretty cool.
I can't believe that's real, that story.
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載入中…

【吉米秀】吉米親手搞砸了與女神尼可基曼的約會! (Jimmy Fallon Blew a Chance to Date Nicole Kidman)

51332 分類 收藏
徐慶澄 發佈於 2017 年 1 月 25 日    dan 翻譯    Mandy Lin 審核
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