Oh, I remember. [audience laughs]

喔，我記得[觀眾笑聲]

Do you remember this? It was really embarrassing for me.

你記得?是不是我的糗事

[laughing] Yes.

[笑聲]對

[Jimmy] It was? Do you want me to tell --

[吉米]是嘛?要我說出來嗎?

Yeah! I have not seen you since then.

好啊!自從那個事件後，我就再也沒看過你

I have not! That is correct. - Right? No.

我也是!沒錯 對吧?不

But this is years ago, and I -- do you want me to tell my version of the story?

但這已經好幾年了，你要我說出我自己的版本嗎?

Yeah, you tell your version. [laughter]

好啊，你的版本[笑聲]

I'm walking down the street, in New York City,

我在紐約市的街道走著，

- Yeah. - My friend Rick calls me and says,

-對-然後瑞克打電話給我，他說

"Dude, what are you doing?"

「你在做甚麼，老兄?」

I go, "I'm just walking down the street."

我說「我在路上散步」

He goes, "I have Nicole Kidman with me,

他說「妮可基曼跟我在一起，

and she wants to meet you for, uh, maybe, to be in Bewitched or something like that"

她想要見你，可能是想讓你在神仙家庭亮相或其他原因。」

so I go, "Wha-? OK."

我說「真假?好啊」

And he goes, "I can be at your apartment in like ten minutes."

他接著說「我可以在十分鐘內到你的公寓」

I go, "You're going to bring Nicole Kidman over to my apartment?"

我說「你要帶妮可基曼到我公寓?」

I'm like, "OK, I don't know, what do I do? What, do I have something? What do I do?"

我那時好像接著說「好啊，我不知道，我該準備甚麼?」

He goes, "I dunno, just get some cheese and crackers or something,"

他說「我不知，就準備起司或餅乾之類的，」

and I'm like, "Cheese and crackers! I'm --" [babbling]

「起司和餅乾!我...」[口齒不清]

"I don't have dinner parties, I don't have anyone over to my house."

「我沒有準備晚餐派對，沒有人要來我家」

I'm like, "I have video games and sneakers."

「但我有電動和運動鞋」

[Nicole] That's right!

[妮可]沒錯!

So I go and, I go, there's a deli, and I go in the deli.

所以我繼續走著，看到一間熟食店

I go, "What do you mean, cheese?"

我問他「你是指甚麼起司?」

He goes, "Get Brie or something."

他說「準備布里乾酪或類似的」

I go, "Brie?" I didn't even know what that is, I'm like, "Uh ..."

「布里乾酪?我連聽都沒聽過」我心情像是「呃....」

So I go in this -- I'm on Saturday Night Live, I guess,

所以我就假裝--我在週六夜現場，也許吧，

or something, I don't remember, really, when it was --

或其他，我忘了，那是...

I just remember I liked you and he was like -- not now.

我只記得我喜歡你，然後他好--不是現在

[laughter] I'm married now.

[笑聲]我已經結婚了

Um, but he was like, "Oh, well you can meet --"

呃，他那時好像說「喔，你可以見到--」

[laughter] [band plays music]

[笑聲][樂隊]

- What?! - Not that way!

甚麼?! -不是那樣!

[Jimmy] Wait, wait, what's going on? Wait, what?

[吉米]等等，發生甚麼事了?甚麼?

So he said -- [audience laughing]

所以他說--[觀眾笑聲]

So Rick, our mutual friend, says, "Oh, you know Jimmy wants to meet you,

所以瑞克，我們的朋友說「你知道吉米想見你，」

and you can go over to his apartment, and dadadada ..."

「妳可以去他的公寓，然後趴趴趴...」

and I'm single, and I'm like, "OK, yeah, cool!"

那時我單身，所以我說「好啊，蠻酷的!」

[Jimmy] Wait, what?!

[吉米]甚麼?

- Yes!

沒錯!

What?!? are you talking about? - Yes!

你在公啥米? 是啊!

Did I date Nicole Kidman? Did we go out on a date?

我跟妮可基曼約會過?那是約會嗎?

So I go over, though, and you're there in a baseball cap,

所以我那時過去，然後你戴著棒球帽，

and like, nothing. Just like --

像個小蝦米。就像--

I had Brie cheese!

我有布里乾酪

And you wouldn't talk. You didn't say anything!

你都不說話。你甚麼都沒說!

You were like, "Hey. Mm. Mm. Mm."

你那時的反應「嘿，嗯嗯嗯」

[talking over each other about being nervous and not talking]

[辯解]

[Jimmy] I didn't know this was a thing! I thought this was a movie!

[吉米]我不知道是這樣!我以為是為了電影!

It was like a hang, it was meant to just, I dunno.

我好像在掙扎，那應該只是，我不知道

And then you put a video game on or something --

然後你開啟你的電動，還是...

[laughter]

[笑聲]

and I'm like, "This is so bad."

我的心情是「這爛透了」

[laughter, applause]

[笑聲，鼓掌]

It was bad.

很糟糕

[foghorn sound]

I swear, and you didn't talk at all!

我發誓，你絕對沒說話

And so after about an hour and a half I thought,

在一個半鐘頭後

"He has no interest. This is so embarrassing."

「他沒興趣，真丟臉」

I had no clue at all!

我完全沒有任何線索

[Nicole] And I left, and went, "OK, no chemistry."

[妮可]最後我離去，「好吧，無化學反應」

And then I was like, "Maybe he's gay."

我突然想想「說不定他是同志」

C'mon!! [band plays]

拜託!

I'm outta here, take care.

我要閃啦，祝好運

[Nicole] OK, now I'm gonna do the show!

[妮可]好啊，那主持棒交給我

[cheering]

[掌聲]

[Nicole] So tell me, Jimmy ...

[妮可]告訴我，吉米...

[Jimmy] Well, doctor, I remember it like it was yesterday.

[吉米]事實上，醫生，我覺得這件事好像昨天才發生似的

Nicole Kidman walked in my apartment --

妮可基曼走進我的公寓

[Nicole] That was our date.

[妮可]那是我們的約會

Do you remember what the apartment looked like?

妳還記得公寓長怎樣嗎

[Nicole] Like, not much.

[妮可]好像，不怎麼記得。

Anyway, we weren't meant to be, right?

無論如何，我們本來就不該情定終生，對吧?

Wow, did you make a good decision.

哇，妳是不是做了正確的抉擇

You made a great, fantastic decision. - You didn't! Anyway. It was like that.

你做了最棒的抉擇-你沒有!總而言之，就像那樣。

[Jimmy] Oh my gosh! I am in shock right now!

[吉米]天啊!我真的嚇到了!

But now, so nice, we're both married with kids.

但現在，一切完好，我們都結婚，生兒育女了

[Jimmy] Yeah! I can't believe I dated Nicole Kidman! This is fantastic!

[吉米]對啊!不能相信，我約了妮可基曼!太棒了!

You didn't!

你才沒有

This is unbelievable! Unbelievable.

難以置信

It was one of the most awkward moments ever.

這是我遇過最蠢的一件事

[Nicole] You're red!

[妮可]你臉紅了!

I really am! I'm in shock! - So am I!

真的!我太震驚了!- 我也是!

I can't believe it. Ha, you're definitely embarrassed!

我無法相信，你一定覺得很尷尬

Yeah, I mean, wow, my gosh! Are you friends with Rick any more?

我的天啊!你跟瑞克還是朋友嗎?

Yes, I just saw him!

我才剛看到他

[Jimmy] No, we don't talk to him after that, yeah.

[吉米]沒有吧，我們沒再和他說過話

[Nicole] He's adorable!

[妮可]他很可愛

You made a much better decision. Keith Urban is so much cooler than I am.

妳做了更好的決定，凱斯比我酷多了

He's a rock star, you live in Nashville now ...

他是搖滾明星，妳現在住在納許維爾

I do, yes.

對，沒錯

He's always on tour, isn't he, constantly, like ...

他一直在巡迴演出，對吧? 很常吧，像...

Yes, these country guys -- yes, he's always on tour --

這些鄉巴佬--對，他一直在巡迴演出

[Nicole] You're not trying to be all serious!

[妮可]你不是認真的吧

[Jimmy] No, I'm trying to be serious now. Look, here's the deal:

[吉米] 對，我現在很認真，想想看，

I'm not always on tour. I'm always at home.

我不常巡迴，我都在家裡

[laughter]

[笑聲]

Kids ... - You're working all the time!

小子們... 你常常在工作

Did he not just play a gig New Year's Eve, right?

他在跨年夜是不是舉辦現場演唱?

He did, in Niagara Falls. - Yeah. Niagara Falls.

對，在尼加拉瀑布。- 對，尼加拉瀑布

The Canada side or the New York side? - Um, the Canada side.

加拿大那一邊還是紐約那一邊? -加拿大那一邊

That's the side. - Beautiful.

就是那一邊- 很美

The Canada side is like lights, and it's almost like Vegas, it's fun.

加拿大那一邊就是光芒四射，像拉斯維加斯，很有趣

The New York side looks like a Lemony Snicket book cover.

紐約那一邊就像雷蒙·斯尼奇書的封面

Sad, and like, lots of trees with no leaves on it,

讓人想哭，很多樹都枯掉了

and you go, "What happened? Why is that side so much worse?"

妳會說「怎麼了嗎?為什麼那一邊那麼爛?」

Canada side, that's the place to do it. - Yeah.

加拿大那一邊，好地點。- 對

It's amazing. Yeah, we gotta work on that side of Niagara Falls.

很美妙，我們要在那一邊工作

So where does he play? - I've never been to the New York side.

所以他在哪演出?- 我沒去過紐約那一邊。

Oh, it's ... please. We'll fix it up.

那只是，拜託，我們會安排

Where does he play?

他在哪演出?

He played a big show there for about 60,000 people.

他在那表演，有差不多60000人

[Jimmy] Have you ever been to Niagara Falls?

[吉米]妳有去過尼加拉瀑布嗎?

I had before.

有啊

[Nicole] We can't even have a conversation.

[妮可]我們連對方說話的聲音都聽不到

[Jimmy] You're feelin' a little something, yeah.

[吉米]妳有感覺了，對吧

You're feelin' a little chemistry?

有化學反應了?

A little chemistry now. But it's too late, baby!

現在是有一點。 但寶貝，太遲咯。

Ship has sailed, OK Nicole?

生米煮成熟飯了，妮可

Taken, OK? I'm taken, OK?

我也已經是人夫了好不好，知道嗎？

I'm just kidding, just kidding.

我只是開玩笑的

I can't believe this. What a day.

我無法相信，真是美好的一天

[Nicole] I am never coming on this show again.

[妮可]我在也不要上你的節目了

No, come on! Come on! You've gotta ... they're feeling it!

不要這樣嘛!妳得...他們也感覺到了

This is fantastic!

這很棒

[Nicole] I'm teasing you. [Jimmy] And we love Keith.

[妮可]我在對你調情 [吉米]我們都愛凱斯

We love Keith. [Nicole] I love Keith!

我們愛凱斯 [妮可]我愛凱斯!

We love Keith. He's been on the show. I know you love Keith more than I do.

我們都愛凱斯，他有上過節目。 我知道妳比我更愛凱斯

I'm not saying I have a thing for Keith Urban.

我不是指我跟他也有一腿

I'm saying I enjoy his music, and I like him as a personality.

我的意思是我愛他的音樂，我喜歡他的個性

[Nicole] We're now fighting over Keith.

[妮可]我們在爭風吃醋

I don't have a --

我沒有--

Only one of us here is in love with Keith [Nicole] This is a disaster!

只有我們其中一個愛上凱斯 [妮可] 這是災難!

No, it's not a disaster. Uh, but he's always been on the show,

不，怎麼會是災難。呃，但他常常上節目

and you've never been on the show. - No.

而妳從沒上過節目。-不

Is this why? - Absolutely.

是這個原因嗎? 完全正確

[Jimmy] So odd!

[吉米] 太怪了

No, I just, we would watch you at home, and I'd be like, "Gosh,

不，我們在家會看你的節目，我會說「天啊，

will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Hm, maybe not."

我會不會上這個節目，說出這件事? 呃，也許不會」

[Jimmy] And you did! [Nicole] And now I did!

[吉米]但妳說了! [妮可] 沒錯

Anyway, let's talk about Paddington. [Jimmy] This is the best day ever, man.

對了，來談談電影【柏靈頓】 [吉米]這是最棒的一天

This is like a great day. Let's talk about Paddington.

很棒的一天。好，來談電影

Paddington, congrats already, it's a big hit already.

柏靈頓，先恭喜，那已經是大賣座

Internationally, right? - Yes.

全世界轟動，對吧

Overseas. They released it overseas first. [giggles]

他們先在海外發行

I remember I got Brie cheese ...

我記得我有布里乾酪

And corn chips!

還有玉米片

Corn chips! I didn't get -- did I get corn chips?

玉米片!我沒有-- 我有準備玉米片嗎

Yeah! And some old Chinese food.

對，還有中式傳統食物

How could I buy old Chinese food? - It was in the fridge.

我哪有可能買中國食物?- 在冰箱裡

It was in the fridge. It probably was. Really there was nothing there.

在冰箱裡，也許。 其實甚麼都沒有

[Nicole] See, I've got a good memory.

[妮可]看我記憶多好

Oh my god, I remember I got saltine crackers,

天啊，我記得我有薄鹽餅乾

and I didn't have ... oh, it was just really awful. I didn't know.

我沒有... 喔，真的糟透了，我不知道。

And what sport do you really like? Baseball, or something ...

你到底喜歡甚麼運動? 棒球還是..

[Jimmy] What sport I was into? What hat was I wearing?

[吉米]我喜歡甚麼運動? 我戴甚麼帽子?

[Nicole] Yeah, you were wearing some baseball cap.

[妮可] 對欸，你那時戴了某一頂棒球帽

I love that you remember I was wearing a baseball hat. Cool, man.

很高興妳還記得，酷欸

[Nicole] And some sweats. [Jimmy] I was not wearing sweatpants!

[妮可]還有運動褲 [吉米]我才沒有

What are you talkin' about?

妳在說甚麼

It's like you went over to, like, Duck Dynasty guy's house, or something.

就像妳去鴨子王朝演員的家

I was not wearing camo sweatpants. I was dressed in a ...

我沒有穿迷彩褲，我穿的是...

probably in a three-piece suit or something ...

應該是三件套裝，或是...

You weren't interested, so you wore sweats and a baseball cap.

就是因為你沒興趣，所以你才穿運動褲和棒球帽

That's not true! I don't even know what you're talking about!

才沒有!我連妳在說甚麼都不知道

Now I'm like freaking out. All right.

我現在真的嚇到了

I'm gonna go back to Paddington, we're gonna edit this out.

先回到柏靈頓，然後把這段剪掉

[Nicole] Yeah. Yeah.

[妮可]好

The bear. - The bear.

這隻熊-這隻熊

The little adorable bear. - It's a cute bear. It's a cute movie.

這隻小可愛熊- 很可愛，這部片很可愛

You play the villain in the movie. - I do.

妳在電影是反派- 對

That's a good juicy role. - Yep.

很誘惑他人的角色- 對

[Jimmy] Did you always want to play -- what?

[吉米]妳是不是常常想扮演-- 甚麼?

[laughter]

[笑聲]

[Nicole] Can't even talk to you now!

[妮可]現在都不知道要怎麼跟你說話了

[Jimmy] I mean you can't even say, you're stuttering and stuff, you're so nervous.

[吉米] 不只無法說，還口齒不清了，妳好緊張喔

Only because you make me laugh now.

因為你在逗我笑

I make you laugh, yeah. I always made you laugh.

我逗妳笑，我常常逗妳笑

All right, so let's talk about it., my man Hugh Bonneville.

好吧，回到主題，休·邦尼維爾，我的男主角

[Nicole] So funny. So funny. - Love him. Downton Abbey, we love him.

[妮可]很好笑-- 喜歡他在唐頓莊園

And there's a CGI bear and of course everyone knows the books.

還有那個CGI熊。每個人都知道這本書

But the bear does have the most beautiful eyes.

這隻熊有最美的眼睛

No, he does!

真的

[Jimmy] Yeah! He does!

[吉米] 對啦

[Nicole] Why are you laughing?

[妮可]你在笑甚麼?

[Jimmy] Everyone's feelin' the sexual chemistry here,

[吉米]每個人都有感受到化學反應

and it's awkward, and it's just odd.

那很蠢，很怪

[band plays]

[樂隊演奏]

Wanna play Mario Brothers?

想玩馬力歐嘛

I'll show you my new Nintendo. That's pretty cool.

我向妳展示新的任天堂電玩 ，蠻酷的

I can't believe that's real, that story.

我無法相信這故事是真的