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  • You said you wanted to talk?

    你說你想聊一聊?

  • Yeah, I have something I need to tell you.

    對啊,有些事我想跟你說

  • Okay, whats up?

    好啊,怎麼了?

  • This is a little embarrassing for me,

    我感覺有點丟臉

  • I've never felt this way.

    我從來沒有這樣的感覺

  • Caspar, you know you can tell me anything.

    Caspar,你什麼事都可以跟我講的啊

  • I think I have feelings for you.

    我想我對你有感覺

  • Really?

    真的?

  • Yeah, am I crazy?

    對啊,我是不是瘋了?

  • No.

    才不會

  • Honestly, I think I have feelings for you too.

    老實說,我對你也有點感覺

  • Really?

    真的?

  • I think I love you.

    我覺得我愛你

  • I think I love you too.

    我也愛你

  • (kissing noises)

    (接吻聲)

  • This is so dumb, I can't do it.

    這太蠢了,我做不到

  • Oh my God, if you're going to tell Kim

    我的老天,如果你要跟 Kim 說

  • you like her, you need to practice.

    你喜歡她,你就必須練習

  • Stop being such a dork.

    別再像個傻瓜一樣了

  • Or as you say, geezer.

    或是你們英國人說的,怪人(geezer 為英國用語)

  • I'm just going to call her.

    我要直接打電話給她了

  • Honestly man, as your friend,

    老實講,兄弟,作為你的朋友

  • I want to encourage you, right?

    我想要鼓勵你,對吧?

  • But here's the thing,

    但是問題來了

  • you suck.

    你超爛

  • What do you mean?

    你什麼意思?

  • You have no game bro.

    你根本沒招啊,老兄

  • There's a line of girls, literally waiting for me.

    有一大排的女生,不誇張,就在排隊等著我

  • A meet up at Vidcon doesn't count.

    在 Vidcon 的見面會不算

  • Are you taking the piss?

    你在嘲笑我嗎?(take the piss 為英國用語)

  • Okay, you see that?

    OK,你有聽到嗎?

  • That right there, don't do that okay?

    就是剛剛,別這樣好嗎?

  • She's not going to understand your British slang.

    她不會了解你用的英國用語

  • Fine then, are you taking the mick?

    好啊,那你是在取笑我嗎?(take the mick 為另一個英國用語)

  • What? No no stop, stop, listen.

    啥?不不不,停止,聽好

  • You need to take your Nando's eating,

    現在先把你吃 Nando's(Nando's 為英國連鎖烤雞餐廳)

  • Top Shop-wearing self,

    穿 Topshop 的自己放到一邊去(Topshop 是英國時裝品牌)

  • and just calm down.

    然後冷靜下來

  • Take my advice.

    聽好我的意見

  • Fine, go on then.

    好,那你繼續

  • What should I do?

    我該怎麼辦?

  • Just be yourself, okay

    就做自己,好嗎?

  • Except don't say anything that you

    只是不要講任何

  • would usually say.

    你平常會講的話

  • But I say such nice, sweet things.

    可是我說話是如此的貼心,窩心

  • Exactly, listen. Being sweet is not how you

    正是如此,當個好人不能

  • get a girlfriend okay?

    讓你交到女朋友,好嗎?

  • Being sweet is how you get friendzoned.

    當好人只會讓你被發好人卡

  • What you need to do, is play hard to get.

    你要做的應該是裝得好像很搶手

  • But, but I'm not hard to get.

    但是,我並不難追啊

  • I'm really, really, really, easy to get.

    我真的真的真的很好得手

  • Like, so easy.

    超級簡單

  • Oh my God, you are like the effing UberX of boyfriends.

    我的天啊,你他媽就像男友版的 UberX

  • No surcharge, nothing.

    不需要額外費用,甚麼都沒有

  • Just sitting there, available, in your Prius,

    就在你的 Prius 裡隨時等著被呼叫(Prius 為 Toyota 一種車款)

  • offering me water and gum.

    只給我水和口香糖

  • Fine, Lilly, just tell me what to do.

    好啦,Lilly,告訴我怎麼做

  • Call Kim and let her know you have options, brav.

    打給 Kim 跟他說你有其他的選擇,老兄

  • Okay, let Kim know, if she's not down,

    讓 Kim 知道,如果她不喜歡

  • you got Kylie on the other line, fam.

    你還有 Kylie 在另一條線上,老兄

  • Okay, okay I'm doing it right now.

    好啦,我現在就做

  • That's right brav, let gal know whats good, innit fam.

    這就對了老兄,給那女人好看,對吧?(innit fam 為英國流行語)

  • Wait, why do you have an accent all of a sudden?

    等等,為什麼你講話突然有腔調?

  • Damn, sorry, when I hear a British accent,

    啊抱歉,我聽到英國口音時

  • I just copy it, I dont know.

    我就想要模仿,我也不知道為什麼

  • I'm South African.

    可是我是南非人

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Yeah, I've been South African the whole time.

    嗯,我一直都是南非人

  • Hey Kim!

    嗨 Kim!

  • Come on.

    加油

  • Um, I have Kylie on the other line.

    痾,Kylie 在我另一線上

  • This bloke, give her some context.

    你這傢伙,跟她多講點內容

  • I, I want to talk to you, but no wait,

    我,我想要跟你講,但等等

  • I want to ask you something.

    我想要問你一些事

  • Yeah yeah yeah, but I don't have time.

    沒錯沒錯,但是老子沒時間

  • But I don't have much time.

    但是我沒有很多時間

  • Yeah yeah, tell her I'm too busy working out.

    沒錯,跟她說我忙著健身

  • I'm too busy jerking out.

    我忙著打手槍(working 音似 jerking)

  • What? No, working out, working out!

    什麼?不,健身,是健身!

  • Oh, what, Up?

    喔,什麼?

  • With my strong arm.

    用我強壯的手臂

  • What are you doing?

    你到底在幹嘛?

  • Honestly, just marry Joe.

    老實講,你就跟結婚吧(Joe 為 Casper 的室友)

  • Okay, Caspar Sugg, it works.

    Caspar Sugg,聽起來不錯(Joe 的姓為 Sugg)

  • Kimberly, I like you.

    Kimberly,我喜歡你

  • No no no no no!

    不不不不不!

  • I think you're really pretty.

    我覺得你真的很漂亮

  • Friend zone!

    好人卡!

  • Hello!

    先生!

  • Friend zone!

    好人卡!

  • But I don't want to be friend zoned.

    但是我不想被發好人卡

  • You're not supposed to tell her that.

    你不需要跟她講這個

  • See, you're the type of person that

    你看吧,你就是那種

  • signals three times when making a three point turn.

    做三段式迴轉會打三次方向燈的那種人

  • In your UberX.

    在你開 UberX 的時候

  • This is the end for you, this is it.

    你結束了,這是你的末日

  • This is the end.

    你玩完了

  • End?

    終點?

  • End?

    終點?

  • I want to be in the end zone.

    我想要在達陣區(end zone 為美式足球的達陣區)

  • Shut up, tell her "do you know how lucky you are?"

    閉嘴,告訴她「你知不知道你有多幸運?」

  • Do you know how lucky you are?

    你知道你有多幸運嗎?

  • Wait, that's a little bit rude.

    等等,這樣講有點沒禮貌

  • But don't worry, I'm feeling lucky too.

    別擔心,我也覺得很幸運

  • What are you doing, you're such a creep,

    你在幹嘛啦,有夠變態

  • you're gonna get arrested for verbal assault.

    會因為言語騷擾被逮捕

  • She's worth the jail time.

    她值得我坐牢

  • I don't even mind handcuffs, if that's what you want.

    如果你喜歡的話,手銬我也不介意

  • Are you hearing yourself?

    你有聽到自己在講什麼嗎?

  • Do you want to go on a date?

    想要跟我約個會嗎?

  • Demand a date!

    直接要求約會!

  • Please?

    拜託啦

  • Don't ask, you tell her.

    不要問,直接跟她講

  • I'm so lonely.

    我好孤單

  • Let her know,

    讓她知道

  • yo, if you say no, I got so many other DM's to attend to.

    「妳說不的話,我還有很多其他私訊邀約」

  • And if you say no,

    如果妳說不的話

  • I have so many other D's to attend to.

    我還有很多其他濕 ... 訊要參加

  • Tell her, it's going so down in my DM's,

    跟她講,我的私訊多到

  • I need a ladder to get out of my inbox.

    我需要梯子才能爬出我的收件匣

  • Tell her.

    快跟她講

  • I need a ladder, it's like snakes and ladders in here.

    我需要梯子,這裡就像蛇與梯子(snakes and ladders 為一種桌遊)

  • Yeah okay.

    喔喔,好喔

  • I'm sliding down those snakes right now.

    我現在正溜下那些蛇

  • Oh, I see you're improving, okay, thats okay.

    喔,一點即興演出,好喔

  • I'm slithering on down.

    我正滑行往下去

  • Okay, that's a bit weird.

    OK,那樣講有點古怪

  • (random noises) I'm like Mowgli, Jungle Book style up in here.

    (亂叫)我就像《森林王子》裡的毛克利

  • Hello? Hi? Hello?

    嗨,有人嗎,嗨?

  • I think Kimberly hung up.

    Kimberly 好像掛電話了

  • What?

    什麼?

  • She hung up?

    她掛斷?

  • Dude, you were killing it!

    老兄,你剛剛表現超好!

  • Honestly, I felt like I was watching the red wedding.

    老實說,我還以我在看紅色婚禮(紅色婚禮為冰與火之歌裡的一幕屠殺場面)

  • Oh my God, she hates me.

    我的天,她討厭我

  • Not even, that was so good!

    一點也不,剛剛很好!

  • Dude, if she doesn't like you, that's her loss.

    老兄,如果她不喜歡你的話,是她的損失

  • You're just saying that.

    你只是說說而已

  • No, I'm not.

    沒有,我不是

  • Casper, you're such a great guy okay?

    Casper,你是個這麼好的男人,好嗎?

  • If Kim doesn't like you, then you

    如果 Kim 不喜歡你,那你就

  • make like Kanye, and you eff Kim.

    像肯伊·威斯特,操他的 Kim(Kim 與 Kanye 為美國知名夫妻檔)

  • Yeah, yeah I guess.

    我想是吧

  • Dude, she's probably like a

    老兄,她可能是個

  • huge weirdo anyway, trust me.

    怪胎也說不定,相信我

  • She's probably one of those people

    她可能是那種

  • that like pours milk into a bowl before cereal.

    先倒牛奶再倒麥片的人

  • Or like, doesn't like Nutella.

    或是不喜歡能多益巧克力醬的人

  • I bet you she has some weird shrine.

    我敢打賭她家一定有某些奇怪的聖壇

  • Yeah who needs really really exciting relationships

    對阿,誰還需要刺激的愛情

  • when you have friendships.

    當你有友情的時候

  • Exactly, friends forever.

    沒錯,一輩子的朋友

  • You're the best, Lil.

    你最棒了,Lil

  • I love you.

    我愛你

  • I love you too.

    我也愛你

  • Hmm, I better go.

    我差不多該走啦

  • I'll walk you out.

    我送你出去

  • (door opens)

    (門打開)

  • (ominous music)

    (不吉祥的音樂)

  • No one is ever gonna get between us.

    沒有人能擋在我們之間

  • My little Cassey-Poo.

    我的小 Cassey-Poo

  • (kissing)

    (親吻)

  • Goodnight.

    晚安

  • (sigh)

    (滿足地嘆息)

  • Hope you enjoyed that video.

    希望你喜歡今天的影片

  • Thanks so much for being on my channel.

    謝謝你來我頻道客串

  • - [Caspar] Okay, Get off - [Lilly] Hug me, why don't

    -好啦,走開 -抱我,為什麼

  • - [Caspar] me, stop stop. - [Lilly] you love me.

    -停止,停止 -你不愛我

  • - [Lilly] Okay this is weird now (laughs)

    OK,現在有點尷尬了(笑聲)

  • If you like the video, make sure you give it

    如果你喜歡這支影片的話,記得要

  • a big thumbs up.

    給我們一個讚

  • Comment below letting me know your favorite part.

    留言你最喜歡哪一段