Yeah, I have something I need to tell you.

對啊，有些事我想跟你說

Okay, whats up?

好啊，怎麼了？

This is a little embarrassing for me,

我感覺有點丟臉

I've never felt this way.

我從來沒有這樣的感覺

Caspar, you know you can tell me anything.

Caspar，你什麼事都可以跟我講的啊

I think I have feelings for you.

我想我對你有感覺

Really?

真的？

Yeah, am I crazy?

對啊，我是不是瘋了？

No.

才不會

Honestly, I think I have feelings for you too.

老實說，我對你也有點感覺

Really?

真的？

I think I love you.

我覺得我愛你

I think I love you too.

我也愛你

(kissing noises)

（接吻聲）

This is so dumb, I can't do it.

這太蠢了，我做不到

Oh my God, if you're going to tell Kim

我的老天，如果你要跟 Kim 說

you like her, you need to practice.

你喜歡她，你就必須練習

Stop being such a dork.

別再像個傻瓜一樣了

Or as you say, geezer.

或是你們英國人說的，怪人（geezer 為英國用語）

I'm just going to call her.

我要直接打電話給她了

Honestly man, as your friend,

老實講，兄弟，作為你的朋友

I want to encourage you, right?

我想要鼓勵你，對吧？

But here's the thing,

但是問題來了

you suck.

你超爛

What do you mean?

你什麼意思?

You have no game bro.

你根本沒招啊，老兄

There's a line of girls, literally waiting for me.

有一大排的女生，不誇張，就在排隊等著我

A meet up at Vidcon doesn't count.

在 Vidcon 的見面會不算

Are you taking the piss?

你在嘲笑我嗎？（take the piss 為英國用語）

Okay, you see that?

OK，你有聽到嗎？

That right there, don't do that okay?

就是剛剛，別這樣好嗎？

She's not going to understand your British slang.

她不會了解你用的英國用語

Fine then, are you taking the mick?

好啊，那你是在取笑我嗎？（take the mick 為另一個英國用語）

What? No no stop, stop, listen.

啥？不不不，停止，聽好

You need to take your Nando's eating,

現在先把你吃 Nando's（Nando's 為英國連鎖烤雞餐廳）

Top Shop-wearing self,

穿 Topshop 的自己放到一邊去（Topshop 是英國時裝品牌）

and just calm down.

然後冷靜下來

Take my advice.

聽好我的意見

Fine, go on then.

好，那你繼續

What should I do?

我該怎麼辦？

Just be yourself, okay？

就做自己，好嗎？

Except don't say anything that you

只是不要講任何

would usually say.

你平常會講的話

But I say such nice, sweet things.

可是我說話是如此的貼心，窩心

Exactly, listen. Being sweet is not how you

正是如此，當個好人不能

get a girlfriend okay?

讓你交到女朋友，好嗎？

Being sweet is how you get friendzoned.

當好人只會讓你被發好人卡

What you need to do, is play hard to get.

你要做的應該是裝得好像很搶手

But, but I'm not hard to get.

但是，我並不難追啊

I'm really, really, really, easy to get.

我真的真的真的很好得手

Like, so easy.

超級簡單

Oh my God, you are like the effing UberX of boyfriends.

我的天啊，你他媽就像男友版的 UberX

No surcharge, nothing.

不需要額外費用，甚麼都沒有

Just sitting there, available, in your Prius,

就在你的 Prius 裡隨時等著被呼叫（Prius 為 Toyota 一種車款）

offering me water and gum.

只給我水和口香糖

Fine, Lilly, just tell me what to do.

好啦，Lilly，告訴我怎麼做

Call Kim and let her know you have options, brav.

打給 Kim 跟他說你有其他的選擇，老兄

Okay, let Kim know, if she's not down,

讓 Kim 知道，如果她不喜歡

you got Kylie on the other line, fam.

你還有 Kylie 在另一條線上，老兄

Okay, okay I'm doing it right now.

好啦，我現在就做

That's right brav, let gal know whats good, innit fam.

這就對了老兄，給那女人好看，對吧？（innit fam 為英國流行語）

Wait, why do you have an accent all of a sudden?

等等，為什麼你講話突然有腔調？

Damn, sorry, when I hear a British accent,

啊抱歉，我聽到英國口音時

I just copy it, I dont know.

我就想要模仿，我也不知道為什麼

I'm South African.

可是我是南非人

What?

什麼？

Yeah, I've been South African the whole time.

嗯，我一直都是南非人

Hey Kim!

嗨 Kim！

Come on.

加油

Um, I have Kylie on the other line.

痾，Kylie 在我另一線上

This bloke, give her some context.

你這傢伙，跟她多講點內容

I, I want to talk to you, but no wait,

我，我想要跟你講，但等等

I want to ask you something.

我想要問你一些事

Yeah yeah yeah, but I don't have time.

沒錯沒錯，但是老子沒時間

But I don't have much time.

但是我沒有很多時間

Yeah yeah, tell her I'm too busy working out.

沒錯，跟她說我忙著健身

I'm too busy jerking out.

我忙著打手槍（working 音似 jerking）

What? No, working out, working out!

什麼？不，健身，是健身！

Oh, what, Up?

喔，什麼？

With my strong arm.

用我強壯的手臂

What are you doing?

你到底在幹嘛？

Honestly, just marry Joe.

老實講，你就跟結婚吧（Joe 為 Casper 的室友）

Okay, Caspar Sugg, it works.

Caspar Sugg，聽起來不錯（Joe 的姓為 Sugg）

Kimberly, I like you.

Kimberly，我喜歡你

No no no no no!

不不不不不！

I think you're really pretty.

我覺得你真的很漂亮

Friend zone!

好人卡！

Hello!

先生！

Friend zone!

好人卡！

But I don't want to be friend zoned.

但是我不想被發好人卡

You're not supposed to tell her that.

你不需要跟她講這個

See, you're the type of person that

你看吧，你就是那種

signals three times when making a three point turn.

做三段式迴轉會打三次方向燈的那種人

In your UberX.

在你開 UberX 的時候

This is the end for you, this is it.

你結束了，這是你的末日

This is the end.

你玩完了

End?

終點？

End?

終點？

I want to be in the end zone.

我想要在達陣區（end zone 為美式足球的達陣區）

Shut up, tell her "do you know how lucky you are?"

閉嘴，告訴她「你知不知道你有多幸運？」

Do you know how lucky you are?

你知道你有多幸運嗎？

Wait, that's a little bit rude.

等等，這樣講有點沒禮貌

But don't worry, I'm feeling lucky too.

別擔心，我也覺得很幸運

What are you doing, you're such a creep,

你在幹嘛啦，有夠變態

you're gonna get arrested for verbal assault.

會因為言語騷擾被逮捕

She's worth the jail time.

她值得我坐牢

I don't even mind handcuffs, if that's what you want.

如果你喜歡的話，手銬我也不介意

Are you hearing yourself?

你有聽到自己在講什麼嗎？

Do you want to go on a date?

想要跟我約個會嗎？

Demand a date!

直接要求約會！

Please?

拜託啦

Don't ask, you tell her.

不要問，直接跟她講

I'm so lonely.

我好孤單

Let her know,

讓她知道

yo, if you say no, I got so many other DM's to attend to.

「妳說不的話，我還有很多其他私訊邀約」

And if you say no,

如果妳說不的話

I have so many other D's to attend to.

我還有很多其他濕 ... 訊要參加

Tell her, it's going so down in my DM's,

跟她講，我的私訊多到

I need a ladder to get out of my inbox.

我需要梯子才能爬出我的收件匣

Tell her.

快跟她講

I need a ladder, it's like snakes and ladders in here.

我需要梯子，這裡就像蛇與梯子（snakes and ladders 為一種桌遊）

Yeah okay.

喔喔，好喔

I'm sliding down those snakes right now.

我現在正溜下那些蛇

Oh, I see you're improving, okay, thats okay.

喔，一點即興演出，好喔

I'm slithering on down.

我正滑行往下去

Okay, that's a bit weird.

OK，那樣講有點古怪

(random noises) I'm like Mowgli, Jungle Book style up in here.

（亂叫）我就像《森林王子》裡的毛克利

Hello? Hi? Hello?

嗨，有人嗎，嗨？

I think Kimberly hung up.

Kimberly 好像掛電話了

What?

什麼？

She hung up?

她掛斷？

Dude, you were killing it!

老兄，你剛剛表現超好！

Honestly, I felt like I was watching the red wedding.

老實說，我還以我在看紅色婚禮（紅色婚禮為冰與火之歌裡的一幕屠殺場面）

Oh my God, she hates me.

我的天，她討厭我

Not even, that was so good!

一點也不，剛剛很好！

Dude, if she doesn't like you, that's her loss.

老兄，如果她不喜歡你的話，是她的損失

You're just saying that.

你只是說說而已

No, I'm not.

沒有，我不是

Casper, you're such a great guy okay?

Casper，你是個這麼好的男人，好嗎？

If Kim doesn't like you, then you

如果 Kim 不喜歡你，那你就

make like Kanye, and you eff Kim.

像肯伊·威斯特，操他的 Kim（Kim 與 Kanye 為美國知名夫妻檔）

Yeah, yeah I guess.

我想是吧

Dude, she's probably like a

老兄，她可能是個

huge weirdo anyway, trust me.

怪胎也說不定，相信我

She's probably one of those people

她可能是那種

that like pours milk into a bowl before cereal.

先倒牛奶再倒麥片的人

Or like, doesn't like Nutella.

或是不喜歡能多益巧克力醬的人

I bet you she has some weird shrine.

我敢打賭她家一定有某些奇怪的聖壇

Yeah who needs really really exciting relationships

對阿，誰還需要刺激的愛情

when you have friendships.

當你有友情的時候

Exactly, friends forever.

沒錯，一輩子的朋友

You're the best, Lil.

你最棒了，Lil

I love you.

我愛你

I love you too.

我也愛你

Hmm, I better go.

我差不多該走啦

I'll walk you out.

我送你出去

(door opens)

（門打開）

(ominous music)

（不吉祥的音樂）

No one is ever gonna get between us.

沒有人能擋在我們之間

My little Cassey-Poo.

我的小 Cassey-Poo

(kissing)

（親吻）

Goodnight.

晚安

(sigh)

（滿足地嘆息）

Hope you enjoyed that video.

希望你喜歡今天的影片

Thanks so much for being on my channel.

謝謝你來我頻道客串

- [Caspar] Okay, Get off - [Lilly] Hug me, why don't

-好啦，走開 -抱我，為什麼

- [Caspar] me, stop stop. - [Lilly] you love me.

-停止，停止 -你不愛我

- [Lilly] Okay this is weird now (laughs)

OK，現在有點尷尬了（笑聲）

If you like the video, make sure you give it

如果你喜歡這支影片的話，記得要

a big thumbs up.

給我們一個讚

Comment below letting me know your favorite part.

留言你最喜歡哪一段

My last video was right there, over there.

我上一支影片就在那邊

My vlog channel is right there.

我的 Vlog 頻道在那邊

But most importantly, we did a video

但最重要的，我們也在

on Caspar's channel, where he pranked me.

Caspar 的頻道也做了一個影片，他惡整我

The link to that is in the description

連結放在影片簡介裡

so make sure you check that out.

一定要去看看喔

Check out his channel, because he is a dope,

去他頻道看看，因為他超屌

handsome, nice guy.

又帥，人又好

And if you're from my channel, subscribe to Lilly.

如果你是從我頻道來的，也請訂閱 Lily

Aw, thanks!

歐，謝謝！

One love, Superwoman,

愛你們，我是女超人

uh huh, that is a wrap, and zoop!

嗯哼，就這樣做 ending 啦，掰！

Beep

逼

Nailing it.

完美