I'm going to tell you some things that some of my closest friends don't know about me.

我要跟大家說一些連我最好的朋友都不知道的事。

So if you know me in real life, or if you're like my future boss or grandchild watching this, then please...(stop watching).

所以，如果你認識我、是我未來的老闆或我的孫子，那麼請…別看了。

All right, things that I do that adults probably don't do.

算了，今天的主題是我做的一些成人不會做的事。

I close my closet door before I go to sleep every night.

每晚睡前，我都會先去關上衣櫥。

[It's because monsters live in the closet]

[因為有怪獸住在衣櫥裡]

Ok, so this one is not super embarrassing, but why do I do this?

好吧，這個沒有非常丟臉，但我為什麼要這樣做？

I know monsters aren't real.

我知道怪獸並不存在。

Sometimes I'll already be in my bed, open my eyes just a tiny bit and see the black void of my closet.

有時已經躺上床了，我還是會微微睜開眼睛，看到衣櫥敞開的黑色間隙。

Then I have to get up and close it.

然後就一定要起身去把門關起來。

It makes me uncomfortable, I don't know why.

門開著就是讓我感覺不舒服，不知道為什麼。

it's not like there's a monster in my closet that's been waiting for like, 18 years for the one night I forget to close my door.

又不是衣櫥裡有個等了 18 年的怪獸，只為等一個我忘記關門的夜晚。

I just don't like it open.

我只是不喜歡衣櫃開著。

Also I'm terrified of crossing streets.

我也很怕過馬路。

I will always speed walk across the street while checking both directions every two seconds.

我快速穿越馬路時，會每兩秒左顧右盼一次確定沒車。

I think part of the reason why I'm afraid is because

我猜我如此害怕的部分原因是

when I was little my mom told me the way cars were made,

我還小的時後，我媽和我說按照車子的設計，

drivers can''t see little kids at all!

駕駛完全看不到小孩子！

Which I'm gonna want to call bull crap on that, mom,

媽，你根本在亂講，

unless you're driving like, a monster truck.

除非開的是怪獸卡車那種才有可能。

So whenever I would cross the street and see a car in the distance,

所以，每次我要過馬路，又剛好看到不遠處有車時，

I would have to run as fast as I possibly could. I didn't want to die.

我都會以我最快的速度衝過去，我可不想死！

So, I guess that fear stayed with me as I grew up.

所以我猜這個恐懼一直伴隨著我長大。

And I remember in high school, some kids would walk across the street without looking both ways!

記得我高中時，有些小孩過馬路都不看兩邊車子的！

Not even a glance, they were just like,

連一眼都不看，他們的態度就是

"The car better stop for me,

「車子最好看到我就停下來，

even if they're already going 50,

時速逼近 50 也一樣，

It's their fault."

誰管你啊。」

So if me and you are ever walking together, and suddenly I start speed walking, you'll know why.

所以，如果我跟你走在路上時，我突然開始加速行走，你就知道是為什麼了。

I watch Minecraft videos and I don't even play Minecraft anymore.

我會看 Minecraft 的影片，但我早就沒在玩 Minecraft 了。

What happened was, is that I started watching them while I drew comics.

是這樣的，我開始畫漫畫時，會看這些影片。

(When) I didn't feel like listening to music or netflix didn't have any good movies to watch,

我不想聽音樂或是 Netflix 沒有什麼好電影可看時，

I would watch the Minecraft videos, specifically CaptainSparklez.

我就會看 Minecraft 影片，特別是 CaptainSparklez 頻道的。

I don't know if any of you have heard of him,

不知道你們有沒有聽過這著頻道，

he's a pretty small gaming channel.

是個小型遊戲實況頻道。

And I started watching more and more,

我開始越看越多，

and I kind of got attached to the point where if I had no idea what to draw,

已經是有點上癮的程度，就算沒有畫畫靈感，

I would still watch the Minecraft videos anyway

我還是繼續看 Minecraft 影片。

And I'll promise you right now that I watched some CaptainSparklez while making this video.

我現在就可以向你保證，我製作這支影片的時候，肯定也看了 CaptainSparklez 的影片。

Ok.

好的。

I talk to my dogs.

我會對我的狗說話，

Or rather I talk for my dogs.

或是幫我的狗說話。

I give my pets certain voices and I talk to them in my voice

我給了我的寵物們自己的聲音，我會跟牠們說話，

and then respond for them in their voice.

然後用「牠們的聲音」回答。

And for some reason they're pretty mean to me...

而不知為何，牠們對我蠻刻薄的…

I have two dogs and they both make an appearance in this comic.

我養了兩隻狗，牠們都在我的漫畫中出現過。

This one named Papi

這隻叫 Papi。

has a voice like this!

牠的聲音是像這樣的！

And this one, Georgie,

而這隻叫 Georgie。

talks like this, hello!

牠的聲音是這樣：哈囉！

So a normal thing for me to do is...

平常我會這樣…

-Oh hi, Papi! -Hm, hello!

-喔！嗨，Papi！-嗯，哈囉！

Your in my spot Papi.

Papi，你坐到我的位置了。

-Hm, I know. -Can you move? -Hmm, no.

-嗯，我知道。 -可以請你移動一下嗎？ -不可以。

But I was sitting there first!

但我先坐在那裡的耶！

Well, I'm sitting here now, so why don't you find a place on the floor!

現在是我坐在這，你為什麼不在地上找個地方坐！

Papi!

Papi！

The dog has no idea what's going on

狗狗完全不知道發生了什麼事，

and I've created this scenario now where I'm sad and sitting on the floor to watch my Minecraft.

而我已經捏造出了自己委屈得坐在地上看 Minecraft 影片的小劇場了。

Only me my sister know that I do this.

只有我妹妹知道我會這樣做。

I don't know what I'd tell someone if they walked in on me and saw me doing this.

如果有人走進來看到我正在這樣做，我不知道該如何解釋。

But now I guess everyone knows...

但我猜現在大家都知道了…

Oh, hello. I have a voice too and I talk like this.

喔，嗨，我也有自己的聲音，我這樣講話。

Hmm, shut up.

嗯，閉嘴。