字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 when you get to know somebody better what are some of the first things you learn about them? that they disappoint you in all kinds of ways so this is true in visual illusion if you take pictures of people and you blur them out and you make them fuzzy everybody looks more attractive as you get into the little details of life you start seeing wrinkles right? when you look at people in general terms you only see the good things in them this by the way is not just about romantic attraction you know in companies hire CEOs and they hire CEOs from outside the company they often have high expectations from them but when you look at the results the results show that they pay way more to external CEOs than internal ones and they perform worse but when you look at an external one it's very easy to say oh my goodness this person is just great because you don't know the little details, right? so if you look at somebody you don't know very well all the little annoying habits that they have are just going to be outside of scope for you and you will just imagine that they all work well only when they move in you get to to see those details so imagine a world in which when you look at other people they look more glorious than when you get to know them in all the details and now you in bed next to somebody and you wake up in the morning and you say is this what I want for the rest of my life when I have other options here? and this is the tinder, your phone is here and you basically in all of those things all of those options look so wonderful by the way also in online dating or Facebook whatever it is people only present their positive sides, right so you don't so you have this bias idea that the outside option the set of the outside option look so promising and now when you wake up next to somebody or you have a little fight with somebody and you think to yourself in one click I could have a date with somebody else now imagine that you have an apartment and you have a deal with the landlord that the lease is day to day and every morning you wake up and you say do I want to extend this lease or not? and every day your landlord decide if they want to extend that least or not how much would you invest in the apartment? would you paint the walls? would you get flowers? would you fix the walls? would you do all kinds of things? of course not because you're always with one foot outside so the analogy is that you wake up next to your romantic partner every morning and you say should we do it for another day or should we stop now? the moment you think in the short term horizon the odds that you will invest in a relationship is much much lower so the thing that worries me is that when we are in a relationship but continuously with one foot out and continuously thinking about how the outside world is more tempting and more interesting and so on it's actually not a good recipe for investing in a relationship it's not a zero-sum game it gets better when you invest in it and if you don't think you're there for a long time the likely of investment is just not that high
A2 初級 Dan Ariely:關於約會和關係 (Dan Ariely: On Dating & Relationships) 240 23 VoiceTube 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字