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  • A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious

  • lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.

  • Hello listeners. To start things off I've been asked to read this brief notice: the

  • city council announces the opening of a new dog park at the corner of Earl and Summerset

  • near the Ralph's. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the

  • dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park. It is possible you will see hooded figures

  • in the dog park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the dog park. The fence is electrified

  • and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the dog park, and especially do not look for any

  • period of time at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you.

  • And now the news.

  • Old Woman Josie out near the car lot says the angels revealed themselves to her; said

  • they were ten feet tall, radiant, and one of them was black; said they helped her with

  • various household chores. One of them changed a light bulb for her, the porch light. She's

  • offering to sell the old lightbulb, which has been touched by an angel. It was the black

  • angel, if that sweetens the pot for anyone. If you're interested, contact Old Woman Josie.

  • She's out near the car lot.

  • A new man came into town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect

  • and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist.

  • Well, we have all been scientists and one point or another in our lives. But why now?

  • Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical

  • instruments in that lab he is rentingthe one next to Big Ricco's Pizza? No one does

  • a slice like Big Ricco. No one.

  • Just a reminder to all the parents out there. Let's talk about safety when taking your children

  • out to play in the Scrub Lands and the Sand Wastes. You need to give them plenty of water,

  • make sure there's a shade tree in the area, and keep an eye on the helicopter colors.

  • Are the unmarked helicopters circling the area black? Probably World Government. Not

  • a good area for play that day. Are they blue? That's the Sherriff's Secret Police. They'll

  • keep a good eye on your kids, and hardly ever take one. Are they painted with complex murals

  • depicting birds of prey diving? No one knows what those helicopters are, or what they want.

  • Do not play in the area. Return to your home, and lock the doors until a Sherriff's Secret

  • Policeman leaves a carnation on your porch to indicate that the danger has passed. Cover

  • your ears to blot out the screams. Also, remember: Gatorade is basically soda, so give your kids

  • plain old water, and maybe some orange slices when they play.

  • A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear

  • in the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium during basketball practice, disrupting practice quite

  • badly. The jet roared through the small gym for only a fraction of a second, and before

  • it could strike any players or structure, it vanished again, this time apparently for

  • good. There is no word yet on if or how this will affect Night Vale Mountain Lion's game

  • schedule, and also, if this could perhaps be the work of their bitter rivals the Desert

  • Bluffs Cacti. Desert Bluffs is always trying to show us up through fancier uniforms, better

  • pregame snacks, and possibly, by transporting a commercial jet into our gymnasium, delaying

  • practice for several minutes at least. For shame, Desert Bluffs. For shame.

  • That new scientist we now know is named Carlos called a town meeting. He has a square jaw

  • and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate and despair and

  • love that perfect hair in equal measure. Old Woman Josie brought corn muffins, which were

  • decent, but lacked salt. She said the angels had taken her salt for a godly mission, and

  • she hadn't yet gotten around to buying more. Carlos told us that we are, by far, the most

  • scientifically interesting community in the US, and he had come to study just what is

  • going around here. He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love

  • instantly. Government agents from a vague, yet menacing, agency were in the back watching.

  • I fear for Carlos. I fear for Night Vale. I fear for anyone caught between what they

  • know and what they don't yet know that they don't know.

  • We received a press release this morning. The Night Vale Business Association is proud

  • to announce the opening of the brand new Night Vale Harbor and Waterfront Recreation Area.

  • I have been to these facilities myself recently on their invitation, and I can tell you that

  • it is absolutely top of the line and beautiful. Sturdy docking areas made from eco-friendly

  • post-consumer material, a boardwalk for pedestrians, and plenty of stands ready for local food

  • vendors and merchants to turn into a bustling public marketplace. Now, there is some concern

  • about the fact that, given we are in the middle of a desert, there is no actual water at the

  • waterfrontand that is a definite drawback, I agree. For instance, the boardwalk is currently

  • overlooking sagebrush and rocks. The Business Association did not provide an specific remedies

  • for this problem, but they assured me that the new harbor would be a big boost to Night

  • Vale nonetheless. Maybe wait until a flash flood and head down there for the full waterfront

  • experience.

  • The local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week.

  • They sent the station one to get some publicity, and we're here to serve the community so I'm

  • happy to let you all know about it. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl, and they

  • read, 'Guns Don't Kill People; It's Impossible To Be Killed By A Gun; We Are All Invincible

  • To Bullets And It's A Miracle.' Stand outside of your front door and shout, "NRA," to order

  • one.

  • Carlos and his team of scientists warn that one of the houses in the new development of

  • Desert Creek, out back of the old elementary school, doesn't actually exist. It seems like

  • it exists, explained Carlos and his perfect hair, like it's just right there when you

  • look at it. And it's between two identical houses, so it would make more sense for it

  • to be there then not. But, he says, they have done experiments, and the house is definitely

  • not there. At news time, the scientists are standing in a group in front of the nonexistent

  • house, daring each other to go knock on the door.

  • A great howling was heard from the Night Vale Post Office yesterday. Postal workers claim

  • no knowledge, although passersby described the sound as being a little like a human soul

  • being destroyed through black magic. The Indian Trackernow, I don't know if you've seen

  • this guy around; he's the one who appears to be of maybe Slavic origin, yet wears an

  • Indian headdress out of some racist cartoon and claims to be able to be able to read tracks

  • on asphalthe appeared on the scene, and swore that he would discover the truth. No

  • one responded because it's really hard to take him seriously in that headdress of his.

  • Lights, seen in the sky above the Arby's. Not the glowing sign of Arby's; something

  • higher and beyond that. We know the difference. We've caught onto their game. We understand

  • the lights-above-Arby's game. Invaders from another world. Ladies and gentlemen, the future

  • is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's.

  • Carlos and his scientists at the monitoring station near Route 800 say their seismic monitors

  • have been indicating wild seismic shifts, meaning to say that the ground should be going

  • up all over the place. I don't know about you folks, but the ground has been as still

  • as the crust of a tiny globe rocketing through an endless void could be. Carlos says that

  • they've double-checked the monitors and they are in perfect working order. To put it plainly,

  • there appears to be catastrophic earthquakes happening right here in Night Vale that absolutely

  • no one can feel. Well, submit an insurance claim anyway, see what you can get, right?

  • Traffic time, listeners. Now, police are issuing warnings about ghost cars out on the highways,

  • those cars only visible in the distance, reaching unimaginable speeds, leaving destinations

  • unknown for destinations more unknown. They would like to remind you that you should not

  • set your speed by these aberrations, and doing so will not be considered following the flow

  • of traffic. However, they do say that it's probably safe to match speed with the mysterious

  • lights in the sky, as whatever entities or organization is responsible appear to be cautious

  • and reasonable drivers.

  • And now, the weather.

  • (These and More Than These, Joseph Fink)

  • Welcome back, listeners.

  • The sun didn't set at the correct time today, Carlos and his team of scientists report.

  • They are quite certain about it. They checked multiple clocks, and the sun definitely set

  • ten minutes later than it was supposed to. I asked them if they had any explanations,

  • but they did not offer anything concrete. Mostly they sat in a circle around a desk

  • clock, staring at it, murmuring and cooing. Still, we must be grateful to have the sun

  • at all. It's easy to forget in this hot, hot, hot desert climate, but things would actually

  • be slightly harder for us without the sun. The next time the sun rises, whatever time

  • that turns out to be, take a moment to feel grateful for all the warmth, and light, and

  • even, yes, extreme heat that our desert community is gifted with.

  • The city council would like to remind you about the Tiered Heavens, and the Hierarchy

  • of Angels. The reminder is that you should not know anything about this. The structure

  • of heaven and the angelic organizational chart are privileged information known only to the

  • city council members on a need-to-know basis. Please, do not speak to or acknowledge any

  • angels that you might come across while shopping at the Ralph's or at the Desert Flower Bowling

  • Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. They only tell lies, and do not exist. Report all angel sightings

  • to the city council for treatment.

  • And now for a brief public service announcement. Alligators. Can they kill your children? Yes.

  • Along those lines, to get personal for a moment, I think the best way to die would be swallowed

  • by a giant snake. Going feet first and whole into a slimy maw would give your life perfect

  • symmetry.

  • Speaking of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, its owner, Teddy Williams,

  • reports that he has found the entrance to a vast underground city in the pin retrieval

  • area of lane five. He said he has not yet ventured into it, merely peered down at its

  • strange spires and broad avenues. He also reports voices of a distant crowd in the depths

  • of that subterranean metropolis. Apparently, the entrance was discovered when a bowling

  • ball accidentally rolled into it, clattering down to the city below with sounds that echoed

  • for miles across the impossibly huge cavernso, you know, whatever population that city has,

  • they know about us now, and we might be hearing from them very soon.

  • Carlos, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier, but declined

  • to stay for an interview. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires

  • and tubes. Said he was testing the place for materials. I don't know what materials he

  • meant, but that box sure whistled and beeped a lot. When he put it close to the microphone

  • it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up, really went crazy.

  • Carlos looked nervous. I've never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of

  • a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the building. But then, who would be hear

  • to talk sweetly to all of you out there? Settling in to be another clear night and pretty evening

  • here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with,

  • or, at least, good memories of when you did.

  • Good night, listeners. Good night.

A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious

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B1 中級 美國腔

歡迎來到夜色谷--試播--第一集 (Welcome to Night Vale - Pilot - Episode 1)

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    Lu 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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