A: What's up?

怎麼了？

Am I out of shape?

我身材差嗎？

No.

不會呀。

But am I like more out of shape

但我身材比起以前

than I used to be?

還要差嗎？

No comment.

沒意見。

I knew it.

就知道⋯⋯

I said no comment!

我就說沒意見嘛！

Whatever,

算了，

I'm just gonna get exponentially bigger

我只會指數性的變肥，

until I'm too big to leave the house.

直到有一天我連家門都出不去了。

People will come visit me.

大家會來探望我的，

It'll be lovely.

一定很美好。

I think you're overreacting.

我覺得妳只是大驚小怪罷了。

We're just getting older.

我們只是代謝變差了。

Our bodies aren't gonna stay

身體當然不可能

the same anymore

像以前一樣呀，

unless we beat them into blind submission.

除非，我們把身體機能完全操弄在手心。

Do you want me to teach you how

妳想要我教你如何操弄

to beat your body into blind submission?

身體機能嗎？

It depends...

看看。

What kind of crazy plan are you composing?

你要提什麼瘋狂的點子嗎？

Diet... and exercise.

控制飲食⋯⋯和運動。

NOO--

不～～～

It's important to get your heart rate up

每週透過舉重、有氧、或核心強化

3 to 5 times a week

每週透過舉重、有氧、或核心強化

with cardio weights and exercises

提高心跳次數三到五次是非常重要的。

I go hiking on Saturdays.

我禮拜六都會去登山呀！

That's fun!

真棒，

And useless.

而且完全沒用！

Try to take the stairs as much as you can.

能多常走樓梯就多走樓梯。

Allison, this is our floor-

Allison，這是我們的——

I always go one extra flight to

我一定都多上一層樓來超越界限成為最棒的自己。

push myself and my best self.

我一定都多上一層樓來超越界限成為最棒的自己。

So you need to lower your legs without

所以你需要輕輕放下你的腳，但是不讓背離地。

letting your back come off the floor

所以你需要輕輕放下你的腳，但是不讓背離地。

I personally can't do it but

我自己是做不出來，但是教學影片裡的女人是這麼說的。

that's what the YouTube tutorial says

我自己是做不出來，但是教學影片裡的女人是這麼說的。

Ow, my hip hurts.

噢，腰好痛喲！

That's normal, mine hurts all the time.

那是正常現象，我的腰隨時都在痛。

Gaby groans

好，所以剛剛做了大概一個半⋯⋯

Okay? So that was about one and a half

每次是一半。

Each one was a half.

能走路就不要開車。

Never drive if you can walk.

這間健康食品店在四哩外耶！

This health food store is 4 miles away

好吧，除非你真的需要開車。

Okay, unless you need to drive.

一切都取決於衡量。

It's all about moderation.

還有多久！？

Gaby grunts

Allison，你有聽見嗎！？

How much longer?

對不起，我在做時沒辦法⋯⋯

Allison!

好，剛剛做得不錯！

I'm sorry I can't talk-walk

再兩輪就好。

panting Okay panting

好。

That was good!

我們開始了！

Two more reps.

好。

pants Okay

-你沒在做。 -有，我有。

We're starting.

-沒有，你沒有在做。 -有，有，我有做。

Gabby: Okay.

-我看得見你沒在做。

Allison: Not doing it. Gabby: I'm doing it.

這飲料是補充維生素和蔬菜的好方式，

Allison: No you're not. Gabby: Yeah I'm doing it.

但是一杯要15美元而且喝起來像

Allison: I can see that you're not.

水窪裡撈的一樣。

This is a great source of vitamins

水窪裡撈的一樣。

and vegetables but it costs like 15

這真的值得嗎？

dollars and taste like the inside of

怎樣算值得？我有零贅肉零脂肪的身體嗎？沒有。

a puddle

怎樣算值得？我有零贅肉零脂肪的身體嗎？沒有。

Is any of this worth it?

但運動時身體分泌的多巴胺

Worth it how? I mean do I have a

帶給我健康和愉悅感嗎？

cellulite free, fatless body? No,

帶給我健康和愉悅感嗎？

But do I feel great and healthy because

也沒有。

dopamine is seeping into my body everytime

那為什麼要這樣？

I work out?

為什麼不要三餐都吃披薩就好了？

Also no

為什麼不要三餐都吃披薩就好了？

So then why do any of it?

幾年前，我的前男友跟我說我情緒起伏太大

Why deny yourself the pleasure of

因為我缺乏規律的運動。

pizza three times a day?

他說，只要我照顧好我的身體健康，

A few years ago my ex-boyfriend told me

我的心靈健康也會大大提升的。

that I was moody cause I wasn't exercising

我要證明他錯了。

He said that if I took my physical state,

（噁）

my mental health would vastly improve

我希望我死了。

I wanted to prove him wrong

我喜歡的話有點怪嗎？

chokes

我跟你絕交了。

cough I wish I was dead

字幕由 Amara.org 社群提供

Gabby: Is it weird that I like it?

Allison: I fucking hate you.

Subtitles by the Amara.org community