I don't care if this is your girlfriend, or your wife, or just one of your friends,

不管是你的女朋友、老婆還是任何一位女生朋友，

there are just certain things that you cannot say to a girl.

有些話你千萬不能對女生說。

So here we go!

讓我們一起來盤點惹怒女生的 10 句話！

Learn from our mistakes.

從我們的錯誤中學習。

"So when's the due date?"

「所以預產期是什麼時候？」

I mean, never, ever, say anything about a girl's weight.

我的意思是，絕對不要提到女生的體重。

Ever.

任何時候都不要提到。

Even if you're saying something nice about it.

就算你是在誇獎對方。

It'll most likely be taken like this:

也很可能會被詮釋為：

Jordan: Wow! You've lost some weight!

Jordan：哇！妳瘦了好多！

Amy: Was I fat before?

Amy：我以前很胖嗎？

"What are you wearing?"

「妳穿的這是什麼啊？」

Don't make disparaging comments about a girl's physical appearance.

不要用貶低的言詞形容女生的外型。

Seriously, you could scar her for life.

我是說真的，你會對她造成永久性的傷害。

"You're overreacting. You're probably just hormonal."

「你反應也太大了吧？你可能只是荷爾蒙失調。」

If anyone actually got away with saying this, they did not live long enough to tell the tale.

說這句話的人可能逃得了一時，但也活不了太久。

This is essentially shutting a girl's thoughts down by telling her that she's insane.

這個行為基本上是指責女生是瘋子並否定她的想法。

What if someone did that to you?

今天如果聽到這番話的人是你自己呢？

Josh: And that's how I feel about it.

Josh：這就是我的感受。

Kelly: Wow, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Kelly：哇，這是我聽過最蠢的事情了。

Don't worry, it's not your fault, you're just testosteronal.

別擔心，這不是你的錯，你只是睪丸激素失調。

"Girl, you look fine! Like, seriously good.

「女孩，你蠻正的！我是說，非常正。

Like, you are, it's-all-I'm-ever-going-to-talk-about hot."

妳真的很正，除了火辣，我不知道該怎麼形容你。」

It's fine to give a girl compliments on how she looks,

你可以誇獎一個女生的外表。

until you become that extremely creepy guy that everybody avoids.

如果太超過就會變成一個大家避之唯恐不及、令人毛骨悚然的傢伙。

BHK: You have the biggest eyes of any people.

BHK：妳是我見過眼睛最大的人。

Can I touch your hand? I just did...Oops!

我可以摸妳的手嗎？哎呀！我已經摸了...

Wow, you have beautiful hair! Oh my goodness...

哇，你的頭髮好美！哦，我的天哪 ...

Your eyes are like a deep blue ocean that I want to swim in...

你的雙眼好像深藍色的海洋，我想要在裡面游泳 ...

You have a fuzzle on your shirt, hehehe...

妳襯衫上有毛球，嘿嘿...

You have the cutest button nose!

你的鼻子塌得真可愛！

"Are you sure you should be eating that?"

「妳確定妳可以吃那個嗎？」

Guys are almost required to go back for seconds to maintain their manliness.

男生吃第二份餐點，看在別人眼裡就是男子氣概正常發揮。

But if a girl goes back for seconds?

但如果女生點第二份餐點會發生什麼情況？

Well, she must be...

那她一定是...

"Oh, yeah, my ex used to say that too."

「喔，對啊，我前女友也這樣說。」

Much in the same way that guys don't like being compared to other guys,

就像男生討厭被拿來和其他的男性比較一樣，

Do NOT compare a girl to another girl.

你也不要拿女生作互相比較。

Just stay on the safe side,

我們安全起見，

and do not even mention another girl in the same sentence as the girl you're talking with.

你在跟一位女生說話時，別的女生你連提都別提！

It's not worth the risk!

何必呢！？

YOLO: If your eyes were more blue, they would look like my ex!

YOLO：你的眼睛再藍一點就像我前女友的眼睛！

When my ex dyed her hair, it looked just like this!

我前女友染頭髮的時候長得跟你一樣。

The only thing hotter than you, is my ex-girlfriend!

能比妳還正的，大概只有我前女友了！

Just like my ex!

和我前任一樣！

"Well, y'know, if you weren't so..."

「呃，你知道嗎，如果你不是這麼 ... 」

Fellas, this is a slippery slope.

各位，當你說出這句話的時候，你就準備受死吧！

You think that you're the only one who's been keeping a record of wrongs?

全世界就你會記仇？

No.

你錯了。

I mean, you may very well be, but a 50% divorce rate says otherwise.

我的意思是，你可能很記仇，但 50% 的離婚率告訴我們，有人比你更記仇。

"Hey, is so-and-so single?"

「嘿，那個誰誰誰單身嗎？」

This is roughly the equivalent of saying:

這大概就像在說：

"Hey you! Oh, you...not so much..."

「嘿美女！噢，不是你... 」

"But your friend over there, a real hottie!"

「你那位朋友辣翻天！」

"And I, need hottie's number."

「給我那位辣妹的電話號碼。」

"I didn't really like you. It was probably just hormones."

「我其實沒那麼喜歡你，一切都只是荷爾蒙在作祟！」

This is the classic "guy strings girl along and then breaks it off and says it wasn't anything in the first place."

這是男生典型的話術，常見於「男生把到妹後想甩了對方，所以隨便找藉口敷衍了事。」

Not so fast, Buster!

話可不是這麼說的，你這小子！

Act like you're an adult!

成熟點吧！

Josh: Look, I know I said I loved you, but I wasn't really serious about it...

Josh：聽著，我知道我說過我愛你，不過我不是認真的...

So let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?

不如我們就假裝我不曾說過，好嗎？

Kelly: Well, I guess that works out, I don't date 5-year-old anyway.

Kelly：好啊，我想這樣也好，反正我不和 5 歲的幼稚鬼交往。

"Cramps? Oh yeah, I get those too sometimes. Just suck it up, you'll be fine."

「（女生月經來時）肚子痛嗎？哦，我有時候也會耶！忍一忍就過了，沒事的。」

The end.

以上。

Y'know, now that I think about it,

你知道嗎？認真思考，

guys think that girls are so overly sensitive,

男生總是認為女生太過敏感，

and that's why they shouldn't say any of these things.

所以他們才不該說這些話。

But, if you really think about it,

不過，如果你仔細地想想，

most of these things just boil down to the golden rule.

其實追根究底，和女生好好相處的最高指導原則就是，

I guess girls just wanna be treated with kindness and respect the way that we expect them to treat us!

將心比心，我們有多期待女生對我們表示友善或尊重，就該以同等的態度對待她們。

Huh! Funny how that works!

哈！原來如此！真有趣！