Do I worship a moon God?

我崇拜月亮神嗎？

Are you allowed to have sex...during Ramadan?

你可以發生性行為嗎...在齋戒月的時候？

I bet you like to hump goats...

我猜你和山羊有一腿（註：伊朗回教革命的什葉派領導者科梅尼認為人獸交沒問題）

like...like.......(laugh)

這...這.......（乾笑）

....I don't even know what to say to that.

....對這點我根本不知道該說些什麼

What's a mosque?

清真寺是啥？

What do you guys really do in there?

你們在裡面到底都做些什麼？

The weirdest question is if I'm planning to blow anything up.

我被問過最怪的問題是，我是不是在計畫要炸掉什麼東西

Why are you guys like that?

你們怎麼會那樣？

Why don't Muslims denounce terrorism?

為何穆斯林不譴責恐怖主義？

Aren't you hot?

你不熱嗎？

Are you circumcised?

你有割包皮嗎？（註：行割禮為伊斯蘭教、猶太教傳統）

I do denounce terrorism.

我的確譴責恐怖主義

Really? You guys can laugh? You guys can smile?

認真？你們可以大笑？可以微笑？

Awww...

喔～～～

A Muslim is a great many things, depending on your perspective.

一個穆斯林可以有很多很多解釋，端看你怎麼看

Mulsim is the word we use label people that follow the Islamic religion.

穆斯林是一個我們用來指出遵守伊斯蘭宗教的人的字眼

And believes in the oneness of God.

相信一神論

And that Muhammad is his messanger.

相信穆罕默德是神的使者

That's really all that it is.

真的就只是這樣

There's no secret handshake. You don't have to run through a gauntlet.

沒有什麼秘密的握手方式，你也不用跑過一片火網

Things like not cheating, not stealing, not killing, not hurting folks...

像是不能說謊、不能偷竊、不能殺人、不能傷害人

are principles to the faith.

都是這個信仰的信條

We can't eat pork. There's no pork on my fork, no swine on my mind.

我們不能吃豬肉。我的叉子上看不到豬肉，我的腦袋中也沒有豬

A practicing Muslim prays five times a day.

一個虔誠的穆斯林一天會祈禱五次

I'm not jiggy with the piggy. I'm not achin' for the bacon.

我不會想著小豬也不會渴望吃到培根

Every chapter in Quran except one starts with God is merciful, God is compassionate.

除了可蘭經的一章之外，其他所有章節的開頭都是神是寬容的、是仁慈的

Compassion, mercy, these were the two concepts.

仁慈與寬容，這是兩個概念

I'm not hostage to the sausage...there's a lot of these phrases.

我不被香腸控制...諸如此類很多的說法

I think the question of what is a Muslim 100% cannot be answered.

我想關於什麼是穆斯林的這個問題，百分之百不能被解答

We are talking about over than 1 billion people.

我們在說的是超過 17 億人口

People think that a Muslim is traditionally, basically someone looks like me with a beard.

人們覺得一個穆斯林應該是很傳統的，基本上有著像我一樣的鬍子

Maybe not as much swage because that's unique to me.

大概沒有我如此厚實吧因為那是我特別的地方

But Muslims come from all different walks of life.

有各種生活模式、特色的穆斯林

A Muslim, is anyone who says he's a Muslim.

一個穆斯林，是一個人說他身為穆斯林

There's all levels of Muslims.

有很多不同的穆斯林

That includes, you know, the secular Muslim who eats BLT's and washes it down with a glass of Pinot.

包括，你知道的，吃著培根三明治然後配著白酒非常世俗的穆斯林

There are some that are very devout in practicing, there are some that are not, just like with every other faith.

有些非常虔誠地落實信條在生活中，有些則沒有，就像是所有其他的宗教一樣

Nobody in Islam gets to say who is and who is not a Muslim.

沒有任何一個伊斯蘭的人能決定誰是或誰不是一個穆斯林

God is the one who determines that.

只有上帝能夠決定

We don't have a Muslim pope, although it'd be cool if we did.

我們並沒有一個穆斯林教宗，儘管有會非常的酷

And I think it should be me.

然後我覺得那應該是我

If you really want to break down the Arabic world, it literally means the "one who submits"

如果你想徹底分解阿拉伯世界，那完全就意味著「屈服一切」

to God,

對上帝

to peace.

對和平

According to my father, a Muslim is any person who surrenders to a force greater than himself.

根據我老爸，穆斯林是任何一個屈服於比自身更偉大的力量的人

When I introduced my atheist whitey-white infidel boyfriend to my dad,

當我介紹我無神論的白人男友給我爸時

my dad goes, " Listen listen Zahra, the word Muslim just means one who surrenders to a force greater than himself, that's it!

他說，「聽好了 Zahra，穆斯林這個字指的就是一個屈服於比自身更偉大的力量的人。

Does he believe in gravity? So, he surrenders to the gravity, it's a force greater than himself, he's a Muslim. So, welcome."

他相信地心引力對吧？那麼，他屈服於地心引力，這力量比他自身還強大。他就是一個穆斯林，歡迎！」

A great majority of us are just ordinary boring people.

大部份的穆斯林其實就是非常平凡的一般人

You know, shmucks like us.

你知道，像我們一樣愚笨的人

But what do I know? I'm just one Muslim, out of 1.7 billion Muslims.

但我又知道些什麼呢？我只不過是一個穆斯林，17 億穆斯林中的一個