[JAJ] : Welcome to Drunk Disney

where we drink watching Disney movies and tell you what we learn from 'em.

[CR]: This week's movie released in 1995 is "A Goofy Movie"

and we're watching it because it's Father's Day.

[DD]: And you can easily tell because we are all dressed

as famous Disney fathers.

[JAJ]: I'm King Triton! Ariel!

[CR]: I'm King Stefan, I'm Sleeping Beauty's Dad.

AURORA! *laughter*

[DD]: And I'm crazy old Maurice!

Belle!

[JAJ]: But I think we have another King in the castle.

[DD]: Today we have a very special guest,

a Practical Folks staple! Director, and writer

James Graessle!

*all cheer*

[CR]: Oh, whaddup King Hubert!

Our kids are gonna bang each other! *laughter*

[JAJ]: Oh! You gotta do it.

[JG]: Prince Phillip!

*all laugh*

[JG]: Today's drinking game comes to us from Bailey Duncan.

It's drink everytime Goofy embarrasses Max.

[DD]: I'm drinking straight out of his body.

[DD]: What's Walt's dad's name?

[DD]: To Elias!

[ALL]: To Elias!

[CR]: Skumps!

...oh... shit

[JAJ]: Is it on my thing?

[CR]: Yes.

*James and Chelsea groan in disgust*

[ALL]: *Cheering* Yay!

[JG]: I really like the animation already.

[CR]: *laughing* There hasn't been any yet.

[JG]: No, the title though!

[JAJ]: This is that scene in Gladiator.

[JG]: He just wants to go home.

[DD]: Oh, wow!

[JAJ]: Yeah! Roxanne's a cutie.

[JG]: She's still wearing, like, a collar.

[JAJ]: Oh, dude. She's not a free dog, Max.

[DD]: Wait, is that what that means?

[JAJ]: Yeah that's, like, an engagement ring.

[JG]: This is getting pretty real.

[JAJ]: "I don't want my dad's small dick."

[JAJ]: Oh! He looks weird naked

but also he wears gloves to bed.

[JAJ]: They're filled with Vaseline to keep his hands soft.

[JAJ]: Oh! Huge embarrassment for Max.

[DD]: To Father Time!

[JAJ]: To Father Time!

[JG]: He plays bass.

[JAJ]: Yeah, he would.

[ALL]: Yeah.

[CR] : My waifu pillow~

[DD]: He's wearing JNCO's.

[CR]: The way all of these people are dressed

it's so obviously the 90's.

[JG]: Is this a school's out for summer song?

[JAJ]: Yeah!

[CR]: Those are some sexually active teens.

[JG]: I remember this song!

[JG]: That gal definitely shops at GAP.

[CR]: Guys! This was before nerds were okay to be.

[JAJ]: Who let the nerd on the football field?!

[JG]: See that's the girl I would be into, like that hat...

[JG]: Look at that dog man, and tell me that's not Richard Nixon.

[JAJ]: Nice Powerline cosplay, dude

[CR]: Wait, so what is this assembly?

[JAJ]: They're telling kids how to have a summer vacation.

[CR]: Wait, really?

[JAJ]: Maybe.

[DD] He comes out and does the sexy Christmas dance from Mean Girls.

[CR]: Goofy's in the audience like...

All: *laughter*

[JG]: He's a cool dad!

[CR]: Look at this presentation!

[JAJ]: How the fuck they do these graphics?

[CR]: That'd be hard to do now!

[JG]: Well he just had a flashlight...

[JG]: This is a great sequence!

Like this is really well-directed.

[CR]: What Superman's Clark Kent?

[JG]: Wait! This is Goofy's Job?

[DD]: He works at a Sears?

[JG]: Ah! ...That's a bummer...

[JAJ]: Pete doesn't seem like the type guy who's comfortable

standing in front of a rainbow.

[JG]: Are they buds? They're not like adversaries?

[JAJ]/[CR]: They're frenemies.

[JAJ]: I'll Drink Attack to the Leaning Tower of Cheeza.

[JAJ]: My beard and mustache have already broken

from wetness.

[DD]: I wanna do 'em all to fathers.

[JAJ]: I know a father. To David Bowie!

[DD]: She kinda has the hair of like a forty year-old southern woman.

[CR]: Uhh... he's so cringe-y.

[JG]: Yeah, but do you guys remember the first time you asked a girl out?

[CR]: No.

[JAJ]: Roxanne seems pretty into him, right?

[JG]/[DD]: Yeah!

[JAJ]: So like movie's over?

[JG]: Look at the hunch! Like, that's Nixon.

[JAJ]: Just wait until he starts calling Max a COCKSUCKER!

[CR]: Why is Max in trouble?

[JAJ]: 'Cause he just hijacked the "Learn How to Have a Summer Vacation" assembly.

[CR]: That's not even a real assembly!

[JG]: Those were nuns!

[DD]: I'll Drink Attack to another song.

[DD]: To George Washington, our country's forefather!

[JAJ]: Yeah!

[JAJ]: Did Goofy roofie Max's drink?

[JG]: Say that again.

[JAJ]: Did Goofy roofie Max's drink?

[JG]: One more time?

[JAJ]: Did Goofy roofie Max's drink?

[JG]: One more!

[JAJ]: He slipped him a Goofy Roofie.

[CR]: This whole movie is really cringe-y.

It's a lot of second-hand embarrassment.

[JG]: I feel like we're supposed to feel that Max is embarrassed here,

but like Goofy's really trying.

[CR]: Uhh! What? Ahh.

[JAJ]: What? She's into it.

[CR]: No, it's just so uncomfortable.

[CR]: He's so awkward.

[CR]: Wait! She's mad now? Why is she mad?

[CR]: "Oh your stupid fucking dad wants to go on a trip?"

Movie: "My dad's taking me to the Powerline concert in L.A.!"

[DD]: I never got why characters do that in movies.

[JAJ]: Like lie? [JG]: Like a huge big lie?

[CR]: Ughhh! He's just like, he's...

[DD]: Why do all dogs live in human houses?

Where are people?

[CR]: I think they're all like Goof's or whatever,

Goofy is like his own species, and that's why there's just a ton of them.

[CR]: Oh my God... I can't even watch this movie anymore!

[JG]: This is what Max is like now though, to his kids!

He's playing this shit he's being like "this is real music"

he's like the GenX-er Dad.

[JG]: Was Goofy embarrassing Max by playing High Hopes?

[JG]: Disney D on the keychain. [CR]: The Disney D!

[JAJ]: It would be like having a crucifix on your keychain.

[CR]: Woah!

[JAJ]: Dave's like actually..

[DD]: You can't be embarrassed alone! You can be upset.

[JG]: That's not true at all! [JAJ]: That is not true.

[JG]: I hope you haven't experienced it.

[CR]: God! He's reckless!

[JAJ]: This is embarrassing.

[DD]: Oh wow look at that. *Eastern European accent* She crush him!

[CR]: Oh! Dolan!

[JG]: This is the second time we've seen nuns!

[DD]: To our Father who art in Heaven!

[CR]: Looks like that's starting to be a HABIT.

[ALL]: Ohhhh!

[CR]: Ugh!

[JG]: I can't laugh too hard or I'll get an inhale of this stuff on my face.

[CR]: That guy in there is still... someone should do something about that!

[CR]: Why are they bringing him to the funeral home?!

[JAJ]: You know 'Fear the Walking Dead' this takes place before that.

[CR]: Did you notice that the prisoner was the only thing or person

whatever, in a car that wasn't a Goof. Like what is that?

[JG]:He was, he was like an Irish Wolfhound.

[CR]: Ah! The Irish are still discriminated against in 1995 Goofville.

[JAJ]: "You can't worry about the military industrial complex, Max!"

"Goof's like us are safe from that!"

[JAJ]: This is gonna be my merkin now.

[JG]: That Goof is definitely not a dog.

[JG]: That's the first Goof that is evidence to me that...

[CR]: They're their own species.

[CR]: Oh my God they look like Worker and Parasite!

[JG]: The conflict to me right now seems like Goofy comes from, like, a rural area

and moved to the city where his kid grew up and doesn't connect to that culture.

[CR]: Max just hit him in the face! I don't really like Max.

[JC]: No, I am on Goofy's side a hundred percent!

[CR]: I want to tell Roxanne not to date Max.

'Cause he just hit a fucking Mascot in the face! He doesn't even know him,

like what's he gonna be doing to Roxanne once the Honeymoon period is over!

[JG]: Yeah! Roxanne should date Max's husky friend.

[JAJ]: Yeah you would say that!

[ALL]: *laughter*

[CR]: Oh my God, this movie is hard to watch!

[JAJ]: This is Goofy embarrassing Max. [JG]: For sure!

[JG]: This is to...Father Christmas?

[ALL]: To Father Christmas!

[DD]: Most of the fathers seem to be very Catholic.

[JAJ]: He looks so sad! Goofy just started that car and drove into a garage and shut the door.

[JG]: This is such us watching this in our late twenties though,

because now you're like "you should treat your father better!"

[JAJ]: No, I think always thought Max was a shit.

[CR]: That's such a boner kill! Goofy's big ass feet steppin' in your wank-off reflection.

[DD]: Your wank-off reflection?!

[JG]: They cut out the scene where they hook it up to the septic line.

[JAJ]: It's just a half-hour of Pete cursing.

[JAJ]: Did you hear he said dude though?

Movie: DUUUDE!

[DD]: DUUUDE!

Movie: DUUUDE!

[JAJ]:DUUUDE!

Movie: DUUUDE!

[CR]: DUUUDE!

Movie: DUUUDE!

[JAJ]: DUUUDE!

[CR]: That octopus is like " I am a super intelligent being!"

[JG]: "Max! You have no chance with Roxanne!"

[ALL]: *laughter*

[CR]: Dude, he's got a bowling lane on top!

[JG]: If he's just taking pictures at Sears he is massively in debt.

[JAJ]: You tell me you're looking at Pete and you're not seeing a guy who makes pornos in his basement?

[JAJ]: He already knows photography.

[CR]: I know the message is that we're supposed to be disgusted by Pete's opulence,

but, like, this is awesome!

[DD]: This movie kina makes me want to, like, pause this and call my dad.

But on the other hand I'm drunk watching a Disney movie.

[JG]: Oh look at him right now! He is the most embarrassed, he's wearing waders.

[CR]: To Big Poppa!

[JAJ]: I love it when you call me that!

[CR]: Why was he fishing with a steak?

[JG]: Because Goofy comes from a rural background where he knows that if you want to catch

a Bigfoot you fish with a steak!

[JAJ]: In the Goof Universe Bigfoot isn't a mythological creature, he's just this asshole.

[JAJ]: Everyone knows! You're just like "Ah man! He's gonna want to hang out in the RV."

He's gonna drink way more then his share of sodas.

[JG]: Yeah, because Goofy was very nonchalant about Bigfoot.

[JAJ]: He's like "Mr. Foot can you be cool this time, and just back up a little bit?"

"Aw fuck I triggered him!"

[CR]: Every other time you see Goofy it's like little short slapstick cartoons,

and it's weird seeing him as the main character in a movie where it's got this emotional core,

and it's about daddy issues.

[JAJ]: It's like every other time we see him he's just putting on a front.

"Oh you know my home life's fine."

[DD]: These goggles are killin' me. But I don't want to take them off.

Do I have red lines?

[JAJ]:Yeah!

[DD]: Where are their tails?