How's you doing?

怎麼樣，瞭了嗎？

My name is Maria Linda Rosas Rodriguez de Segrita

偶的名字素「(西班牙文) 瑪麗亞‧琳達‧羅莎‧羅迪可姿‧德‧賽桂塔‧

de Seguan, bam bam la bam, gracias* (thanks) I love much a you* (I love you to much)

德‧蘇冠」，梆梆梆啦梆，(西班牙文) 謝謝妳們，老師愛妳們啦

Where is Ms. Marie Helen?

瑪莉‧海倫老師到哪去了？

Oh sweetie, She is in my school, PS2, 24

噢，寶貝，她在我的學校呢，PS2 24

a part of the teacher´s exchange program

這是老師交換計畫

She is over there right now

她現在可就待在那裡呢

Let's pray for her, oh los dios mio! (oh my god) She's gonna get killed

來，我們來為她禱告吧，(西班牙文) 感謝主啊，她會死在那呢，哈哈

Ok, far away your books

好啦，把妳的書先扔到一旁

-Far away your books sweeties -Tea..teacher..this is algebra class

-扔到一旁啊，寶貝們 -可..可是老師，這堂課是代數學耶

Attention mamis (chicks), I'm here for sex educacion* (education)...ok?

注意聽好了，妹妹們，我來這裡是要教妳們性的教育，明白嗎？

Lesson numero uno* (number one)

(西班牙文)第1堂課

Don't be a slut, wash your butt!

別當個蕩婦，要常洗屁股 (譯註: 此處butt尤指下體的部位)

Listen mamis *(chicks)

仔細聽好，妹妹們

Women have a lot more crevices than guys do

我們女人呢，可是有著比男人還多的洞洞

a lot of dark and mysterious places for the funk to be hiding

那很多髒東西呢，就會藏在這些黑又神秘的洞洞裡面

Honey, we'll hide on you

親愛的，找出妳們藏著汙垢的那個洞

seek it out, deodorize, perfumerize* (perfumerize), sanitize!

把它找出來，(西班牙文)先除臭、噴香香，最後再消毒

Ok, we well

好了，妳們都懂了

Lesson numero two-no* (number two)

(西班牙文)第2課 (譯註:在英美部分地區，特別是英國，手背朝外比yeah有fuck you之意)

There is no excuse to be loose!

胸部可不能讓它垂下來

A cup, B cup, C cup, whetever strap them things down, mamis

我不管妳是A罩杯、B罩杯還是C罩杯，通通給我束緊緊，妹妹~

Wait a minute, wait a minute! Why you not wearing a bra?

等一下，等一下，妳怎麼沒穿胸罩？

-I don´t need to wear a bra -Ooooh!

-我才不需要穿胸罩，好嗎？ -嗚~~

wait a minute, wait a... listen miss tatas

給我等一下下，聽好， 妳這沒穿胸罩的妹妹 (譯註: tatas即英文裡的boobs，此miss解釋為消失、不見)

nobody wants to see you stuff hanging all the time

沒有人想看妳那兩顆整天在那邊晃來晃去

honey, if you don't be putting a bra

親愛的，如果妳再不穿胸罩的話

one day they gonna hang down like suspenders, that is just nasty!

妳以後胸部會垂到跟吊帶褲一樣，這是很噁心的好嗎？

Ok, escuchen (listen)

好啦，(西班牙文) 仔細聽

Ok, um... Mrs... whatever

呃，...不管妳叫什麼...老師

um.. this is all really informative

妳講的這些是很有用沒錯啦

but how are we going to learn our stuff for algebra test?

可是我們的代數學考試怎麼辦？

Escuchen mamis (listen chiks)

(西班牙文) 聽好了，妹妹

the only test you gonna worry about passing is the pregnancy test

妳唯一該擔心的應該只有驗孕考試

because if you get an F, that stands for "Fertilized"

因為如果妳拿到了F，那就表示妳被「播種」了 (譯註: 此處fertilize意即射精至子宮，達到受精的行為)

-y* (and) the stick turns blue mamis (chicks) -(yuck) -Okay, okay

-而且驗孕棒就會變成藍色的了 -(噁) -好啦好啦

Now, I wanna give you an analogy. Who can explain what an analogy is?

好啦，我現在要來給妳們一個比喻，有沒有誰租到「比喻」素什麼？

An analogy is a correspondence in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar

「比喻」指的是一件事物和另一件事物，在某些方面不同的對應關係

Muy bueno* (very good) R2-D2, but not

(西班牙文) 速還口以啦，R2-D2，但是錯！ (譯註: R2-D2是星際大戰電影中一個虛構的機器人名稱)

An analogy is that you used to explain when something sounds like another something

「比喻」指的是用來解釋某件事跟某件事粉像

-verdad?* (isn´t?) -No

-(西班牙文)租不租到？ -不懂

It's simula but it ain't da same

我的意思是「很像」不速「一模一樣」

Estúpida!* (Stupid)

(西班牙文) 真是笨到家了= =

lesson numero tres* (number three)

(西班牙文)第3課

get this down honeys

抄起來啊，女孩們

Kissing leads to humping, just like farting leads to pooping!

接吻就會想要做愛，就如同放了屁就會想拉屎一樣

I do not think my mother will approve of you, Miss Teacher Farty Poopy

我覺得我媽應該不會認同妳的說法，愛放臭屁老師

Kind of, kind of a bad teacher

真是爛老師

I'm not learning anything

我什麼都沒學到

Listen... ok fine... ok fine, I try to teach you something

聽我解釋...好沒關係，我教妳們別的

but if you wanna go and be a hoe, just go

但如果妳們想當個淫女，就儘管走吧 (譯註: 此處hoe等同whore，是罵女生的不雅用字)

Sit your butt down, mami!

妳給我坐下，妹妹

Oooh~ dang! She called you a hoe!

喔~ 挫屎，她叫妳婊子~~

Listen to me, listen! I'm trying to save your lives over here

來來來，聽我說，我來這裡是為了要拯救我們女性同胞

There are men out there that want your stuff, this is good stuff you gotta protect it!

妳們出去外面，有多少男人只是想玩妳們的身體？妳們要懂得好好保護自己！

Listen mamis, they fighting wars for your stuff

聽好了女孩們，那些臭男人千方百計就是想玩妳的身體

you got... is getting worst

妳必須...情況只會更壞不會變好

They'll be putting testosterone in the water, mamis

妳們都不知道男人的雄性激素變成液體後有多可怕

Listen, if you gonna be humping, at least put on something!

聽好了，如果妳們要做愛，起碼戴上保險套再做

This is against god!

這違反上帝原本造物的本意！

Listen mami, don't be afraid of this, this is profilactico* (prophylactic)

聽好了，妹妹們，別害怕，這個只是避孕工具

I know

我知道啊

Don't be listening to all guys talk about on this don't feel natural

別聽那些男人說什麼，戴套會不舒服，感覺又不真實

You know what? Neither does this, you see this?

妳們知道嗎？妳們如果不戴，就是會這樣子啦

In the summertime, you'll be hot, you know what I'm saying?

妳夏天的時候就等著熱死吧，懂不懂我在說什麼？

Oh, I lost... OK, I gotta go outside and smoke a cigarette, you know what I'm saying?

喔，我竟然沒... 好了啦，我現在要出去抽根菸了，反正妳們懂我剛在說什麼吧？

and I come back in and we give to lesson number four

我回來以後呢，再繼續來上第4課

If you didn´t get yours, he didn't do his chores

妳們如果不懂得好好保護自己吼，也休想男人會做好避孕措施啦

Are you ready for that? Is so estupidas, is so young.

妳們到底租不租到啦？真是的，一群又傻又天真的小女孩