Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • - [Voiceover] Millions of Americans hit the polls today

  • to figure out who they want to be the next president.

  • But for some, reaching a decision

  • after 17 months of nonstop campaigning, debating,

  • and awkward dancing hasn't been easy.

  • I sat down for a group of undecided voters,

  • just before they headed to the polls.

  • Let's have it!

  • Who you guys voting for?

  • - I don't know.

  • - I won't know until I get into the booth.

  • I really won't.

  • It's going to be a bolt of lightning striking me,

  • and telling me which lever to pull.

  • - Your voting strategy is to walk into the booth

  • and wait for lightning to strike you?

  • - Yes.

  • - I am fucking sick of this shit.

  • You look at the two people and you figure out

  • which one you like more,

  • and that's it, boom! (snaps)

  • - That's like choosing between cancer and heart disease.

  • - He's a bigot, he's a racist...

  • - She's a lying, cheating, bitch.

  • - Just pick the one you like...

  • (All speaking)

  • - [Christian] Both, they're horrible.

  • - I wanna punch both of them in the face.

  • - [Voiceover] And it's not just these idiots,

  • more people hate Clinton and Trump

  • than like either one of them.

  • But maybe I could use their hate

  • to get them to make up their damn minds.

  • Decide who you hate more,

  • and then hate vote against that person.

  • Who do you hate more?

  • - He's a piece of shit.

  • But he's less a piece of shit than the other one.

  • - So he's like a smaller piece of shit...

  • - He's like a Chihuahua piece of shit

  • compared to a Grand Dame piece of shit.

  • - So therefore, you should vote for?

  • - No idea.

  • - That's hard, it's not a cut and dry.

  • - [Voiceover] Yes it is.

  • They just needed to do what everyone

  • that hates a politician does.

  • Compare them to Hitler.

  • I want you to take this Hitler mustache,

  • and stick it onto the candidate who you hate more.

  • Okay, let's see who you guys think is more like Hitler.

  • (signs rustle)

  • That's it, we got it!

  • Trump is Hitler, 4 to 1.

  • So we hate Trump more.

  • - [All] No.

  • - You literally think one of them is Hitler,

  • and you still can't decide?

  • - That's correct.

  • - [Christian] I wish I had two mustaches.

  • - It doesn't definitively influence me to make a choice.

  • - Answer the question Alan!

  • Hillary or Trump?

  • - Undecided.

  • - [Christian] Same.

  • - Maybe these guys just needed

  • to warm up on making hate decisions.

  • What do you hate more, dogs or cats?

  • - [All] Cats.

  • - Armageddon or Deep Impact?

  • - [All] Armageddon.

  • - Armageddon.

  • - Bill Cosby or the Washington Redskins?

  • - [All] Bill Cosby

  • - I would say the Redskins.

  • - You hate the Redskins more than you hate Bill Cosby?

  • - I'm a Giants fan, so yeah I'll go Redskins.

  • - He drugged and raped 50 people.

  • - It's alleged.

  • - Alleged.

  • - [Voiceover] These people are even undecided

  • about Bill Cosby.

  • This is going nowhere.

  • What would it take for you people

  • to make a fucking decision?

  • (sigh) - I honestly don't know.

  • - I'm kind of hoping one of them is gonna get killed

  • and the choice will be made for me.

  • - When the curtain closes, I will make up my mind.

  • Until that moment, I shall remain decidedly undecided.

  • - Okay, we aren't leaving this room

  • until we figure this out.

  • - [Voiceover] It was time

  • to make these undecideds actually vote.

  • So I got two ballots here.

  • You've got the Sexist Cheezit.

  • Or you got the Lying Robot Pantsuit.

  • You can't vote for a Cheezit,

  • a Cheezit is not a human being.

  • It's an inanimate object.

  • - Yes, Alan, it was a metaphor, okay?

  • - That wasn't properly explained to us.

  • - How many instructions do you need for this exercise?

  • - I don't think a Cheezit, a robot possibly,

  • but not a Cheezit.

  • 'Cause a robot could be an android.

  • - That's okay, Alan, no one asked you.

  • - Okay.

  • - I want you to take your ballot,

  • and put it into this ballot box.

  • And we're gonna figure out who you mother fucking undecideds

  • are gonna vote for, alright?

  • But even a mock vote wouldn't come easy.

  • Three of you voted for Hillary,

  • and two of you voted for Trump.

  • Early on, four of you decided

  • that Trump was more like Hitler,

  • so what that means, is that one of you decided

  • that Trump was more like Hitler

  • and you still voted for Trump.

  • And I wanna know who that person is.

  • - It was me, I got confused.

  • I thought I was voting for Hillary, but it was really Trump.

  • This is too much.

  • - Oh my God, we are fucked.

  • - [Voiceover] I couldn't let this happen, so this afternoon,

  • I decided to stick with one of these idiots

  • all the way to the polls to make sure he made a decision.

  • (intense music)

  • Who did you vote for?

  • - I did not vote for anyone.

  • - Are you fucking serious?!

  • Fuck!

  • (music fades)

- [Voiceover] Millions of Americans hit the polls today

字幕與單字

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋

B1 中級 美國腔

每日秀--讓美國再次憎恨--未刪減的 (The Daily Show - Make America Hate Again - Uncensored)

  • 299 9
    g2 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字