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  • I'm about to tell you how to win an argument, but before I break into psychology and debate tactics,

    今天我要來告訴你如何在爭論之中獲勝,在深入探討心理學和辯論技巧之前

  • why not try my personal winning strategy that actually got me this job?

    先來聊聊我得到這份工作使用的必勝戰術吧

  • [crying]

    (哭)

  • Hey master debaters, I'm Jules for Dnews, andyou're wrong.

    各位辯論專家好,我是探索頻道的Jules,我要告訴你,你錯了

  • I'm sorry about that, but you're simply incorrect.

    不好意思,但你實在大錯特錯

  • I challenge you to prove me otherwise.

    你儘管來說服我

  • Argue your point, change my opinion.

    提出你的論證,改變我的想法

  • Chances are, you can't.

    但你大概無法成功

  • Not because I'm alone in a studio and screen all my phone calls,

    不是因為我把自己隔絕在工作室裡面不接電話

  • but because, according to neuroscience, it's really difficult to win an argument.

    而是因為根據神經學的研究,在一場爭辯之中取勝是難如登天的

  • That is, if you define winning an argument aseffective persuasion”.

    如果你把贏得爭論定義為「成功說服他人」

  • It turns out arguing and persuading are incompatible goals for most people.

    事實上,對大部分的人來說吵架和說服是兩個截然不同的目標

  • Psychology professor Drew Weston headed up a study in 2004,

    心理學教授 Drew Weston 於2004年主導的一項研究中

  • where researchers took supporters of George W. Bush and John Kerry

    在小布希和約翰‧凱瑞的支持者面前

  • and showed them videos of their preferred candidate contradicting himself

    播放他們喜愛的候選人講出自相矛盾言論的影片

  • Simultaneously, the participant's brains were scanned in an MRI machine.

    同時,受試者的腦部接受核磁共振的掃描

  • When the subjects were shown videos challenging their beliefs,

    當影片和受試者的理念相悖時,

  • the part of the brain associated with logic and reason, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, didn't light up very much.

    大腦管理邏輯和理性的區域:背外側前額葉,並沒有明顯的發亮

  • However, the orbital frontal cortex, the anterior cingulate and the posterior cingulate all lit up,

    然而,眼窩前額皮質、前扣帶迴、後扣帶迴全都發亮

  • and those areas are mainly associated with emotion, conflict resolution, and moral judgment

    而這些區域掌管的是情緒、解決衝突和道德評斷

  • Instead of processing whether or not their beliefs were right,

    受試者的大腦並沒有驗證他們的信念是否正確

  • the subjects, instead, processed how the information made them feel,

    而是處理這些訊息給他們的情緒感受

  • and how to resolve that incongruence.

    以及如何調解其中的衝突感

  • As soon as they figured out how to justify the incorrect information without challenging their own beliefs,

    當受試者找到一種方法,可以不用改變他們的理念,又同時合理化不正確的訊息

  • so maybe something like saying that the candidate accidentally misspoke,

    像是解釋為候選人不小心口誤

  • their brains released a ton of dopamine as a reward and made them feel great!

    他們的大腦會釋放大量的多巴胺作為獎勵,讓他們覺得快樂

  • Even when presented with evidence challenging their beliefs,

    即使面對與他們信念相悖的證據,

  • the subjects resolved their internal confusion without being persuaded to change their minds.

    受試者並不會被說服,而是自動消除內心的衝突感

  • And we know this rings true even outside of the laboratory.

    而我們知道這種情況不只發生在實驗室之中

  • According to research by another psychology professor, John Gottman,

    根據另外一位心理學教授 John Gottman 的研究,

  • roughly 69% of the things married couples argue about are never resolved and are perpetual.

    已婚夫妻爭執的事件中約有69%永遠不會達成共識

  • Most of the time, arguing doesn’t solve anything.

    大部分的狀況下,爭辯並不會改變任何事

  • But hey, you came here to learn how to kick ass the next time you argue,

    但是今天你是來學要如何在下次吵架的時候如何痛宰對手

  • and not learn about why arguing is messy and stupid.

    而不是來學爭吵有多麻煩、多愚蠢

  • So how do you actually win an argument?

    所以到底要怎麼在爭辯中獲勝呢?

  • Well, by not arguing.

    很簡單,就是不要爭吵

  • Yeah, I know, it sounds like I’m promoting the abstinence theory of debate, but hear me out.

    對啦,聽起來很像我在提倡一種世界和平理論,但聽我講

  • Arguing is a war; it has a winner and a loser, and nobody wants to be a loser.

    爭吵是一場戰爭,戰爭一定有贏家和輸家,沒人想當輸家

  • Being wrong is okay as long as nobody knows it.

    只要沒人意識到自己是輸家,那就沒問題,

  • But if you have to admit that youre wrong, AND change your behavior,

    但是如果要你承認錯誤,並且改變你的行為

  • youre probably going to look for any possible reason not to

    你會找一堆藉口不這麼做

  • The real trick is to make an argument look as little like a war as possible.

    所以關鍵就是讓爭吵越不像一場戰爭越好

  • And you know who’s really good at that?

    而你知道誰最擅長這把戲嗎?

  • FBI hostage negotiators.

    FBI 人質談判專家

  • The FBI uses a method of persuasion known as the Behavioral Change Stairway Model,

    他們用一種名為「行為轉換階梯模型」的方法來說服別人

  • and it actually only consists of five steps.

    而這種方法只需五個步驟

  • Step One: Actively listen.

    第一:主動聆聽

  • Show your opponent that you are taking in what theyre putting out.

    讓你的對手知道你有聽進他們在說什麼

  • Step Two: Empathize.

    第二:表現同理心

  • Let them know that not only do you understand where theyre coming from,

    讓他們知道你不僅知道他們說這些話的原因

  • but you understand how they feel about their position.

    而且對他們的處境還能感同身受

  • Don’t dismiss their feelings or negate their experiences, even if you disagree,

    即使你不認同他們,也不要忽略他們的感受或否定他們的經驗

  • which you probably do.

    你很可能真的不認同

  • For now, keep all those adversarial feelings bottled up.

    暫時將那些有敵意的想法關起來

  • Step Three: Build a rapport.

    第三:建立友善的關係

  • Once youve shown them that you understand how they feel,

    在表現出你了解他們的感受之後,

  • now you want them to understand how you feel,

    你希望他們也能了解你的想法

  • because if you both lay all your cards on the table, then you can trust each other,

    因為當雙方開誠布公後,就能彼此信任

  • or at the very least, theyll trust you.

    至少他們會信任你

  • Step Four: Influence.

    第四:發揮影響力

  • This is the first place where youre going to actually make your point after building a strong foundation of empathy and trust.

    在建立同理心和信任的基礎之後,現在才是你真正要闡述你的意見的時候

  • If youre both listening, then you can start problem solving with them, not against them.

    如果你們都有用心聆聽彼此的意見,那你們將能攜手解決問題,而不是互相拮抗

  • And finally, Step Five, which is less of a step and more of a conclusion: they change.

    最後一步比較像是一個結論:對方改變

  • For the FBI this means they surrender, but for you,

    對 FBI 來說是對方投降,而對你來說

  • it might mean you get to stay out past curfew,

    這可能意謂著你可以晚回家

  • or get the wallpaper you like, or eat 200 hot dogs in an hour,

    或可以貼你喜歡的壁紙,或一個小時之內大吃200根熱狗

  • whatever floats your boat.

    你可以愛做什麼就做什麼

  • Pretty much all of those self-help books about arguing follow these same basic steps,

    大部份教人吵架的書都遵循這幾項基礎的步驟

  • because in the end, the thing we most want to do when someone tells us were wrong,

    因為到頭來,當別人說你是錯的時候,你最想做的事情

  • is almost always the exactly wrong thing to do.

    幾乎都是完全不該做的事情

  • We can’t do episodes like this without our sponsors.

    如果沒有贊助商,我們是無法做出這種影片的

  • If you listen to music and podcasts and are looking for a new Bluetooth speaker,

    如果你常聽音樂或是智慧手機的廣播頻道,而且想要買一個新的喇叭

  • check out Monster’s reimagined BoomBox, the Monster Blaster.

    推薦你 Monster 重新設計的的 BoomBox,Monster Blaster

  • It’s available for monthly payments starting at $25.

    每個月付25美金就能擁有

  • The Monster Blaster has the power to bring music to life indoors and out.

    Monster Blaster 不論在室內外都能讓音樂融入你的生活中

  • Check it out at themonsterblaster.com/dnews.

    有興趣可以造訪 themonsterblaster.com/dnews

  • So now you know how to win an argument, congratulations!

    恭喜你! 你現在知道如何在辯論中獲勝

  • Too bad Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump didn’t watch this video before their debate,

    希拉蕊和川普在電視辯論前沒看到這支影片真是太可惜了

  • but do debates even matter in the first place?

    但是辯論真的有效嗎?

  • Watch me talk about whether or not they can actually affect the election in this video.

    這支影片讓我們聊聊辯論是不是真能影響選情

  • But is it impossible for some people to see eye to eye?

    但某些人是不是根本不可能達成共識呢?

  • Are conservative and liberal brains actually different?

    守舊派和自由派的腦袋是不是有根本性的不同?

  • Find out in this video by Tara.

    Tara 會在這支影片中告訴你

  • So what are some other tips and tricks you can use to win an argument?

    還有沒有其他的技巧或招數可以讓你在辯論中得勝?

  • Let us know down below in the comments,

    請在底下留下你的建議

  • and don't forget to keep liking and subscribing for more DNews every day.

    別忘了給 DNews 按讚並訂閱喔

I'm about to tell you how to win an argument, but before I break into psychology and debate tactics,

今天我要來告訴你如何在爭論之中獲勝,在深入探討心理學和辯論技巧之前

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終極秘法:到底怎麼樣才能夠吵架吵贏? (How To Win An Argument)

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    韓澐 發佈於 2017 年 05 月 05 日
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