well, first of all, it's great to be with you

很高興見到你

and thank you, everybody

以及感謝各位

this is it--your last chance to make an impression

這是你們加深大眾印象的最後機會

so…let's make it count

所以，讓這一切有意義吧

okay

好的

we know we've got lots of work to do

我知道我們有許多事情需要去做

let's do this in Bb minor

讓我們用降B小調來起頭吧

AHHHHHH

啊～～～～

<boombox placement with great stamina>

真是個爛女人

<beat intensifies>

他語無倫次

such a nasty woman

才沒有

he choked

他語無倫次

wrong

才沒有

he choked

他到處散佈他的假慈悲

wrong

才沒有

he goes around with crocodile tears

真是個爛女人

wrong

我們在海外有這麼多的競爭對手

such a nasty woman

我們是否能繼續保持亦敵亦友的關係

<AHHHH concludes>

我會繼續與我們的中東盟邦保持合作關係

we have so many adversaries overseas

這是保持和平的唯一途徑（好的）

can we all agree to be frenemies?

摩蘇爾，摩蘇爾，摩蘇爾

I would work with our allies in the Middle East

真悲傷，好難過

that's the only way we're going to keep the peace (okay)

這是場大災難

Mosul, Mosul, Mosul

真慘，慘到不行

so sad, so sad

是否大家都能實現他們的美國夢？

it's a catastrophe

還是他們都該來加入我的龐氏騙局？

so bad, so bad

我們必須要去有錢賺的地方

can everyone achieve the American Dream

我們必須要幫助小型企業

or should they sign up for my Ponzi Scheme?

我們的經濟害得我們喪失工作機會

we are gonna go where the money is (alright)

在這個當下，我們的國家正在凋零

we are gonna help small businesses

凋零的大聯盟

our jobs are being sucked out of our economy

為什麼該由你檔選？

right now, our country is dying

我們必須做的比更多還要多

dying big league

告訴我們我們必須要知道

why should you run the show?

我們必須要制裁那些毒梟

we've gotta do more

剩兩個禮拜就要投票

tell us 'cause we need to know

只是走進商店也中槍

we need to get the drug lords

誰才應該當選為總統

two more weeks until we vote

川普陷入了推特大戰

you get shot walkin to the store

有關於大法官人選，你會選誰呢？

who should really run the show

拜託別提名我---我是個大忙人

Donald got into a twitter war

最高法院，就是那個樣子

for the Supreme Court, who would you choose?

第二修正案正在被重創

please don't say me--I'm a busy duuude

我了解也尊重擁槍權

the Supreme Court, that's what it's all about

我希望參議院能批准

the second amendment is under such, such trauma

歐巴馬總統的提名人

I understand and respect gun ownership

我們應該做什麼好停止冷戰？

I hope the Senate confirms the nominee

你會去和普丁用拇指摔角一決勝負嗎？

of President Obama

我又跟他不熟--他不是我最好的朋友

to stop a cold war, what should we be doin?

他可比那懦弱的希拉蕊聰明多了

would you go thumbwrestle Vladimir Putin?

看看他們簽署的起始條約

I don't know Putin--this is not my best friend

你又願意談論起普丁了

he's outsmarted Hillary and she's playing Chicken

這些來自克林姆林宮的網路攻擊

look at a startup they signed

目的便是影響我們的選舉

you are willing to spout the Putin line

顯然普丁在這次大選中有的特別偏好的一方

these cyber attacks from the Kremlin

他寧願是個魁儡來做美國總統

are designed to influence our election

為什麼應由你當選？

Putin has a very clear favorite in this race

我們做的交易令人咋舌

he'd rather have a puppet as President of the United States

告訴我們因為我們必須要了解

why should you run the show? (PREEKOTOS CHEETOS OMNIPITOS)

川普買了中國鋼鐵

we have horrible deals

在兩個禮拜就大選

tell us, 'cause we need to know (SCHMEEGORÓS TRUMPTOS EECLINTONPROS)

我本能輕鬆獲勝

Donald bought Chinese steel

誰才應該坐上總統大位

two more weeks until we vote

他污蔑了我們的民主

I should win easily

這一點有不公正

who should really run the show?

我認為這被操控了

he's talkin down our democracy

根據她所做過的爛事她根本沒資格當選總統（我了解了）

it's so dishonest

我們的民主是有作用的----我們有自由糗公平的選舉

I say it's rigged

只要事情不合川普的意他就覺得是被他人操控的

she should never have been allowed to run based on what she did (I see)

我們這裡有些壞傢伙們在作亂

our democracy works--we have free and fair elections

我們要把他們趕出去

Donald thinks things are rigged every time they are not going in his direction

就是這麼一回事

we have some bad, bad hombres here

壞傢伙

and we're gonna get em out

為什麼該由你當選？

it's what it's all about

我想要提高最低薪資

bad hombres

告訴我們因為我們必須要知道

why should you run the show?

我們的國家實力超群

I wanna raise the minimum wage

在兩個禮拜就要投票啦！

tell us, 'cause we need to know

我們從零開始做起

our country is so outplayed

誰才應該坐上總統大位

two more weeks until we vote

我們的工作機會都被搶走了

we invest from the ground up

哇！那簡直太棒了各位

who should really run the show

音樂超殺

our jobs are being sucked, sucked

感謝你們的努力

<stance of power>

我感到非常驕傲

wow--that was great, guys!

是只有我覺得還是這裡的風真的超大的

fantastic melodies

就我覺得？

thanks a lot for doin a great job

這是--這是我的風？

I'm very proud of that

就--就吹我一個？

IS IT WINDY IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?

讚啦！

<blue steel>

Schmoyoho，重音在yo上

JUST ME?

把辯論做成音樂劇比較讚啦

THIS IS--THIS IS MY WIND?

去看看怪人艾爾

JUST--JUST FOR ME?

然後這裡有所有的辯論歌曲

cool!

還有一些bonus在我們的新募資平台上

Schmoyoho, accent on the yó

誰唱的最好就可以當上總統

debates are better as musicals

平衡預算（當總統）

check out Weird Al

剃別人的頭（當總統）

and here are all the debates songs

打仗（當總統）

and a bunch of bonus stuff on our new Patreon

和名人一同玩樂（當總統）

whoever sings best gets four years to run the show

親親小孩子

BALANCE BUDGETS (the show)

SHAVE PEOPLE'S HEADS (the show)

FIGHT WARS (run the show)

CHILL WITH CELEBS (the show)

KISS CHILDREN